by Jo Duchemin
“Mac Efron, George Klooney and Robert Patterson!” She burst into laughter as she named her favourite three heartthrobs and, even though I didn’t find her joke that funny, I joined in, desperate to begin my charade of being the old me for a few hours.
“How about a total calorie-fest? Two pizzas, potato wedges, chicken nuggets and ice cream? My treat,” I suggested, thinking the more food I could get her to eat, the less drunk she would be by the time we left the house.
“Yes! Brilliant. Thanks, babe.”
I rang the order in and left Jade in the living room watching TV, giving her some money in case the pizza guy turned up while I quickly hopped in the shower. By the time I came back downstairs, Jade had finished off the bottle of wine. I’d only had one glass of it.
“Should we do our make up?” I suggested, trying to think of something to keep her hands busy until the pizza arrived.
“No, we’d have to brush our teeth after eating and then we’d mess up our make up!” She had a point. “Is there anything to drink here?”
“Diet coke? Lemonade?”
She rolled her eyes at me. “A real drink, Claudia.” The irony of me, the person who had nearly drowned herself in wine a few months ago, trying to control another person’s drinking habit, wasn’t lost on me.
“Sure,” I reluctantly admitted, “but let’s take this one steady – it’s sparkly and you know the bubbles take the alcohol straight to my brain.” I was hoping that if I acted like I was the one who needed to slow down my drinking, she might follow suit.
I could say one thing for Jade. When she made up her mind to do something, she did it wholeheartedly. There were no half measures with her. I popped open the wine and took a small glass in to her. I considered diluting it with lemonade, but thought she would taste the difference and I didn’t like to lie to her.
We sat in the living room, in front of the fire, drinking sparkling wine, while Jade told me all about how she planned to get her revenge on Mike. She had designed a flyer warning all the female students that he was a lying, cheating scumbag – with a huge photograph of him, so that everyone would know what he looked like. She was going to photocopy it and pin it up all over the university.
“I will post it through every letterbox in the halls of residence, if I have to!” She shrieked with laughter and we heard the doorbell ring. I went to answer it and she came along. The pizza delivery guy handed me the food, while Jade gave him the money and flirted outrageously with him. I could feel it was going to be a long night.
The pizza was great, it had been ages since I’d had a takeaway and the junk food tasted comforting. I felt bloated afterwards, but when I put on the black dress I’d bought to wear tonight, I noticed that it was a bit loose; perhaps I had lost weight after all. Jade and I shared the mirror in my room, putting our make up on and dancing to upbeat songs. I was starting to feel more like my old self.
I purposely left my hair loose – wearing it up reminded me of Marty and the note he’d left for me when I’d been going out for the evening with Ben. I shook myself for thinking of him, yet again.
“What’s wrong?” Jade asked, mouth wide open as she applied her mascara.
My eyes flickered to hers in the mirror. “I just thought of Marty. I miss him, but I’m really trying to move on with my life.” I said it more for him, in case he was watching, rather than for her.
“Onwards and upwards!” Jade replied, holding up her glass for a toast. I held mine up and chinked my glass to hers, but I didn’t speak. There would never be anyone who could be a move upwards from Marty.
“Are you ready?” I asked her.
“Yes, what time is the taxi coming?”
I glanced at my mobile phone to check the time. “In five minutes. I’ll pay for the taxi there, you pay for the one home, OK?”
“Deal.” Jade smiled. “Watch out world, here come the girls! Time for a quick drink before we leave? It’ll save us money once we’re out.”
We finished off the bottle of fizzy wine before the taxi arrived, then grabbed our coats and bags and rushed out of the door when we heard the driver bibbing his horn.
The taxi dropped us off in town by a popular pub, which was already quite busy. Our plan was to have a couple of drinks in here and then move on to a nightclub which played cheesy music and dance the night away.
We fought our way to the bar and Jade winked at the barman – he came straight over. Jade had recently dyed her hair blonde and was definitely living up to the saying that blondes have more fun. She turned to me.
“What do you want?”
Marty. “A vodka and cranberry juice, please.”
She turned back to the barman. “Two double vodka and cranberry juices, please.”
“For pretty girls like you, I’ll make them a triple,” the barman winked back at Jade and I felt like rolling my eyes. Before my parents had died, I would have been thrilled at being given an extra shot of alcohol in my drink by a cute barman. Nothing impressed me anymore. Nothing seemed exciting.
We took our drinks over to a sofa and sat down to try and hold a conversation over the music and blended babble of the other conversations in the pub. Jade was keeping an eye out for good looking men and kept pointing out the ones she thought would suit me. I kept shaking my head. There wasn’t anyone in here for me.
“He’s not my type.” I kept repeating to her.
“What is your type?”
Marty. “None of the men in here.”
“Oh, come on, that’s no fun. You need to be my wing-man…I mean wing-girl…that doesn’t sound right!” She laughed loudly and a few men looked over. She flashed a smile at them that could have outshone the Blackpool illuminations.
“I don’t think you need any help in attracting men, Jade.”
“Down your drink, let’s go dancing.” Jade knocked back her own drink, but I still had over half of mine left – there was no way I would be able to drink it down in one go. I handed it to her, after all, she was the one on a mission.
“You have it, I’ll have some more at the club.”
Jade shrugged her shoulders, took my drink from me and finished it off in one go.
We walked to the club, which was only around the corner, in an unsteady fashion – the dangerous combination of stiletto heels, drink and icy pavements causing us to take extra care. I was grateful that there wasn’t a queue at the door – I’d never been impressed by having to queue up to get into any club and in the freezing temperature it would be highly uncomfortable.
We paid the bored-looking woman behind the entry counter and checked our coats into the cloakroom. Jade was ready for another drink, but I stalled her with a trip to the toilets. I took my time checking my hair and reapplying lip gloss, though I knew in my heart there was nobody I wanted to look good for.
It was my round and I decided a cocktail might lift my mood. Jade, of course, thought a round of cocktails would be a great idea. We settled on ordering a Long Island Iced Tea and a Pina Colada, watching the barman with a degree of amusement as he tried to show off his Tom Cruise skills, which were mediocre at best. Jade and I dissolved into a fit of laughter when the barman forgot to put the lid on the blender and violent sprays of pineapple juice and coconut cream decorated the bar. It felt good to laugh, to be silly.
The barman cleaned up and eventually placed the drinks on the bar in front of us. His shirt was wet in streaks at the front where he’d covered himself in my drink. I sipped it – it was worth the effort; tropical and smooth. I could feel it breathing sunshine into my wintery mood.
Jade and I swapped cocktails for a bit to see which one we preferred, deciding it was the Pina Colada. The barman rolled his eyes when we called him over and ordered another two Pina Coladas. We watched him, waiting for another mistake to make us laugh, but he didn’t forget the lid of the blender this time.
“What�
�s that song about the Pina Coladas?” Jade asked me.
“The Pina Colada Song,” I giggled. Jade was being very blonde tonight.
“That’s the one – do you like Pina Coladas?” Jade started singing and I joined in.
The barman stared at us. “If you like that song so much, why don’t you go and request it at the DJ booth?” he said.
I could take the hint. “Good idea,” I said, “I don’t have enough cash for another round of drinks anyway!” I grabbed Jade’s hand in mine, my drink in the other hand and led her to the dance floor, where the DJ booth was located.
Jade leant over the barrier of the booth, making her cleavage look even more impressive than ever. The DJ came straight over and she whispered loudly to him, asking for the Pina Colada Song. He winked at her, smiled and nodded. I didn’t know what it was about Jade, but men seemed to wink at her constantly – it was like she brought out a facial tick in them.
The DJ cued up the song and we took our drinks with us onto the dance floor, singing at the top of our lungs and giggling away to each other. I could almost remember what this used to feel like, to be carefree and fun.
We danced and sang along to the cheesy music the DJ played for quite a while, as the dance floor started to fill up. A group of three men had spotted Jade and were rather obviously dancing their way towards us. They lacked subtlety but seemed like harmless guys. Jade welcomed the attention and seemed to have set her eyes on one of them. He might not be her Mr Right, but he was clearly her Mr Right-Now. I whispered in her ear that I was going to sit down and pointed to an empty booth facing the dance floor. I could see Mr Right-Now’s friends were both rating their chances with me and I didn’t want to have to sour the evening by rejecting anyone; better to leave now before Jade started sticking her tongue down Mr Right-Now’s throat.
I sat in the booth, watching the drunk patrons gyrating together on the dance floor. I’d timed my exit well – Jade and Mr Right-Now were getting very well acquainted and his friends had focused on another group of girls. I watched the various dramas unfolding around the dance floor – it was like a nature documentary on the mating rituals of humans. It wasn’t a world I felt that I belonged in any more.
The balls of my feet were starting to throb in my new shoes and I was grateful to be sitting down, but I really wanted to go home. I’d been kidding myself that a couple of cocktails would gloss over my feelings. I felt oddly sober, considering the amount of drinks I had consumed during the course of the night. Perhaps I could just tell Jade I was going home and get straight in a taxi. I remembered that I’d spent the last of my cash on cocktails at the bar and I didn’t want to walk to the cash-point alone in the dark. I was stuck here until Jade was ready to go home. I glanced back at the dance floor. She wouldn’t want to leave until closing time, I could tell that straight away. I checked the time on my mobile phone. There were two and a half hours to go until the club closed.
I remained sat down, watching the dancers and singing along to the songs, trying to pretend I was having a good time, but wishing my life away, wishing for every second to pass until I could go home. I hadn’t been ready for this. Occasionally, men would wander past the booth, as though they were considering sitting down and chatting me up. I hid my face and focused on my mobile phone, pretending I was in the middle of sending a really important text. They didn’t know that the person I wished to contact the most was unavailable.
I jumped when a glass of champagne was placed in front of me.
I looked up and saw Sam Acton, carrying a tray with a bottle of Moet and Chandon and another glass on it.
“You look like a girl in need of champagne,” he said loudly, to be heard over the throbbing music.
“Thanks,” I replied, surprised to see him, but grateful for the drink.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
“Oh, of course,” I said, embarrassed by my lack of manners, “what are you doing here, Mr Acton?”
“Sam. Please. Mr Acton makes me sound like somebody’s father.”
“You are somebody’s father,” I smiled, “Ben’s father.”
“Don’t remind me, it makes me feel old. And as to why I’m here; the works’ Christmas party decided to move on to here and I came to buy one round for the team before I head home.”
I looked out onto the dance floor and noticed a few of the staff members from the company strutting their stuff. They looked very merry indeed. “They look like they’re having a great night,” I commented.
“Which is more than you,” he guessed. His eyes lingered on mine and I looked away, unwilling to spread my unhappiness.
“I came out too soon, I’m not ready for this.” I took a swig of the champagne, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.
“I know what you mean,” he agreed. He drank some of his champagne and topped my glass up from the bottle.
“My friend is having a good time, though…” I pointed my glass at the dance floor, where Jade was still playing tonsil tennis with Mr Right-Now.
Sam laughed. “Young love.”
“I’m not sure that’s love.” I tried to smile but it turned wistful.
“You sound like someone who knows,” he commented.
I didn’t know how to reply, so I gulped my champagne.
“If you’re not having a good time,” he continued, “why don’t you tell your friend that you’re going home?”
“She has the taxi money and I’m not walking to the cash-point in the dark on my own. Looks like I’ll be here until they chuck us out.”
“Look, Claudia, I’m going home after this drink, so why don’t we share a taxi?” Sam looked at me, as I glanced towards the dance floor, where Jade was grinding her hips in time to the music. It did not look ladylike. I bit my lip, feeling indecisive. Sam continued: “I’ll make sure you get home OK and pay for the taxi. I’d rather do that than you sitting here all night, putting up with these low-life guys working up the courage to talk to you.”
“If you’re really sure, I wouldn’t want to impose on you.”
“I quite like having the opportunity to be a knight in shining armour. I don’t like to see a lady in distress. Have some more champagne.”
He topped up the glasses. I had a feeling that someone was looking at me. I peered around the room and saw Andrea, the receptionist, looking daggers at me. She was staring at us, her face like thunder.
“Andrea is looking this way and she doesn’t look happy,” I looked at Sam. He didn’t look at Andrea, but kept his eyes fixed on mine.
“She has a crush on me,” his face broke out into an easy smile, revealing his white, straight teeth, “and she doesn’t like the idea that you might become more involved with the company. Young, beautiful, intelligent. You’re her biggest nightmare. She’s been hoping for a promotion from reception to being my personal assistant, but I don’t want her working that closely to me.”
That, at least, explained her treatment of me this morning.
He continued: “She’s been with us for two years and hasn’t really impressed me very much, so no hope of a promotion. Meanwhile, you can waltz in as company director if you choose to. She’s insanely jealous of you.”
“I’d take it all back if it meant my parents were here.”
He closed his eyes slowly. “I know,” Sam opened his eyes and looked me in my eyes. For a moment, it felt as though we were united in our grief. I raised my glass for a toast.
“To my parents.”
“To your parents.”
We drained our glasses.
“Go tell your friend that you’re leaving, I’ll meet you by the stairs,” Sam said.
I made my way through the pulsing crowd to Jade and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. Reluctantly, she broke away from Mr Right-Now.
“Claudia! This is Ethan, he has some friends you know,
” Jade raised an eyebrow at me. I ignored her attempt at matchmaking.
“Hi, Ethan. Jade, I’m going home, I bumped into someone I know and he’s going to share a taxi with me,” I spoke quickly, the words coming out in a blur.
“Oh my God, you slut!” Jade cackled, “I thought you weren’t that kind of girl!”
“Jade, focus. It isn’t like that, he’s a friend of my dad’s and I go to uni with his son, he’s just looking after me, OK?”
“Whatever you say, babe. I’ll be round yours tomorrow to collect my stuff, take care and text me when you’re home.” She gave me a hug and turned her attention back to Ethan. Sam was waiting at the stairs, just as he promised.
“Do you have a coat? You’ll freeze in that tiny dress.”
“I checked it in, I’ll just get it.” I started getting the ticket out of my bag.
“I’ll come with you.” He placed his hand on my back, gently guiding me in the direction of the coat check. I felt tipsy from the champagne and my sore feet weren’t helping my balance. We got my coat back and he held it out for me, to help me put it on.
Outside, he hailed a taxi quickly, giving my address first, and his second. I wondered for a moment how he knew where I lived, then reminded myself that he’d known my parents for years; just because I hadn’t seen him at the house didn’t mean he hadn’t been there. Sam asked the taxi driver to wait while he walked me to the door, helping me up the slippery path that was laced with heavy ice. He waited patiently whilst I fished my key out of my handbag and gave me a quick, shy peck on the cheek as he said goodbye. I waved as the taxi pulled away, relieved to be home and grateful to my knight in shining armour for delivering me safely where I belonged.
It was a relief to be home, even though the house seemed empty, cold - despite me leaving lights and the heating on. I kicked off my shoes in the hallway, locked the door and put the safety chain on. The clock in the hallway ticked away, the noise slightly muffled after the volume of the nightclub. I was alone.