by June Francis
‘That’s no excuse.’ Grace said, with a toss of her head. ‘I came to tell you that Dad’s not well. He’s having to go and see a specialist at the Royal Infirmary.’
Polly looked surprised. ‘Despite his smoking like a chimney he’s always seemed as fit as a fiddle. What’s wrong with him?’
‘He didn’t tell me. He’s waiting to see what the specialist says. I think he also said that he’ll be having some tests.’
‘Well, it comes to us all sooner or later,’ said Polly.
Grace felt as if she had been slapped in the face, and said defiantly, ‘Milly, my friend, is going to light a candle for him.’
‘A lot of good that’ll do,’ said Polly, rolling her eyes.
Grace sighed. ‘There’s no need to be like that, Aunty, just because you’re not a believer.’
‘Your mother was, and a lot of good it did her,’ muttered Polly.
Grace felt her anger rising again and deliberately placed her empty cup on the saucer and stood up to take her leave.
‘Thanks for the tea and the information about Dougie. I’ll be seeing you,’ she said, as she stalked out of the room.
Chapter 11
Grace entered the house, her mind still going like a whirlwind. She lit the fire which she had set that morning. The note she had left for her father was still there and appeared not to have been touched. She wished he was home as she desperately wanted to share with him what her aunt had said about Dougie. She stared through the kitchen window at the foggy backyard, aware of the faint sound of fog horns on the Mersey as she drew the curtains and hoped that the weather would mean he might be home earlier than planned. As luck would have it, she heard the front door open just as she was boiling an egg. She rushed out of the room and flung herself at her father.
‘Oh, I’m so glad you’re home.’ She pressed her cheek against his shoulder. ‘I’ll put a couple more eggs on to boil. I’ve made a pot of tea, so you can have a hot drink straight away.’
He hugged her and then held her away from him at arm’s length. ‘What’s up? You’re not worrying about me, are you?’
She did not reply but said, ‘I’ve been to see Aunt Polly and—’
‘I suppose you told her about me going to see the specialist and she’s upset you?’
‘It wasn’t only that,’ confessed Grace. ‘She told me that Dougie is on his way back to England from Australia on a merchant ship going to London! She’s had a letter from him.’
Norman was silent and she thought he must be as shocked as she was at the news. Grace waited, but he didn’t say anything further. She went to add more eggs to the water boiling in the pan on the hob, while he removed his coat and cap and sat down with a cuppa in his hand. She then went to sit down opposite him.
He said, ‘It sounds odd to me.’
‘Me too,’ said Grace.
‘Polly said that he’s coming home for me, because I didn’t really want to emigrate. I said that was nonsense. Then she said it could be because Marion had written to him about me having been seen with Ben, after the play. She then went on that it could be because Dougie wants to be home for Beryl and Davy’s wedding next June. I said I didn’t believe that because I know he doesn’t care much about either of them. That’s when Polly decided to change the subject… and I told her about you not being well. But I really believe there’s something fishy about the whole thing with Dougie.’
‘Too right,’ said Norman. ‘Anyway, what about the eggs?’
For a moment Grace could only think what did eggs have to do with their conversation, but then she noticed the saucepan was steaming merrily away, and snatching up a thick cloth, she removed the pan from the fire and placed it on the hearth. Then she reached for the toasting fork to toast the bread she had cut earlier.
Norman took up the saucepan and went into the back kitchen to drain and cool the eggs. A short while later, the toast was buttered, the eggs were peeled, and father and daughter were sitting at the dining table enjoying their late tea. It was not until their appetites were eased that they picked up on their earlier conversation.
‘Dougie can’t have been in Australia long,’ said Norman. ‘I wonder if he was deported?’
Grace was flabbergasted. ‘What on earth for?’
‘I have my suspicions, but I don’t want to slander the boy without proof. I think he’s been led astray by these so-called friends he made on the outgoing voyage. They might have persuaded him to stop off in South Africa and maybe he was then caught out when he entered Australia.’ Norman paused to top up their teacups.
‘You’re thinking that he’s done something illegal?’
‘Possibly, but I don’t know anything for sure, but I’m guessing that if he was on a merchant ship, he was forced to leave fast and he’s probably broke and working his passage back to Blighty.’
‘I’m surprised he hasn’t decided to stop off at South Africa again,’ Grace said, still hardly able to believe that Dougie could be such a fool as to become involved in something illegal. She knew he could be a little irresponsible, but he wouldn’t break the law, would he? Yet, as her father said, he was only guessing, and Dougie could be innocent.
Her father touched the back of her hand which was resting on the table. ‘Forget him for now, love, and tell me what else you’ve done with your day?’
She cleared her throat. ‘I visited Milly and she’s invited us to the twins’ christening, but it’s not until next Easter.’
‘That’s a long way off,’ he said, sounding dismayed.
‘I thought the same, but it’s because she wants to give those that she wants there plenty of notice as they are coming from far off, and hopefully the weather should be nicer.’
‘Fair enough! Do you think I should buy a new suit seeing as we’ll be going to church at Easter?’
‘Can you afford one?’
He smiled. ‘I haven’t had a new one since your mother’s funeral, fifteen years ago now.’
Grace drew in her breath with a hiss. ‘Then you could do with one, but I suggest we wait until nearer the time, and in the meantime, we save up as many pennies as we can.’
He nodded. ‘Fair enough, lass. I can always go to Great Homer Street market and see what’s on the second-hand clothes stall.’
That said, he switched on the wireless and smoked his pipe while attempting to empty his mind of his worries.
* * *
A couple of days later Grace received her own letter from Dougie telling her that he had changed his mind about settling in Australia and was on his way back to England. The letter reported that the ship would be docking in London and he had decided to stay in the capital for a while and see what jobs were available. He suggested that she come down to visit, and that they could have some time together and set a date for their wedding. She could also see what she thought about living in the south, as it would not be as far away from her father as Australia would have been. She noticed that Dougie had given an address where she could write to him in London.
Grace seethed inside, it sounded like he had it all cut and dried. Could he possibly be in London already? Or had he given her the address of a friend? She shoved the letter behind the clock on the mantelshelf, thinking she would tell her father about it later. She hoped he was getting on all right at the hospital, as today was the day he was seeing the specialist. Grace sent up another prayer for his well-being before putting on her outdoor clothes and checking her purse was in her handbag.
Recalling that Simon and Ben might visit that evening, she wondered whether she should drop a note through their door putting the visit off for another evening. But as she left the house quietly by the front door, she thought it might be good for her father to have a visit from them.
She stopped in at the butcher’s, and came out with two parcels of meat, and finally decided to leave matters as they were as she hurried to her workplace. Most of the time while she worked, her thoughts had veered between Dougie’s letter and how her father wa
s getting on at the hospital. Now and again the thought of Ben and Simon’s visit lightened her mood, as did the future christening of Milly’s twins. She left a note for her employer on the kitchen table about his evening meal, and not forgetting her belly pork in the meat safe, she took it out and left the building and hurried home, intending to take Fergie for a walk. She hoped that her father would be back from the hospital.
But Norman was not home and Grace started to worry that the specialist had decided to keep him in the hospital. If only they had a telephone, she could have phoned the hospital. As it was, Fergie was bouncing around desperate for a walk, so she fastened on his leash and took him out. To her surprise she was just passing an entry between two streets, when Fergie dragged the leash out of her hand and shot up the opening, barking excitedly at a figure running through the opening. She recognised Simon and paused – ‘You off for a run around the park?’ she asked.
‘Nope,’ he said breathlessly, crouching in front of the dog and fondling his ears. ‘I’ve been sent to tell you that your dad is at our house, so he’ll be a little late home.’
Grace’s heart performed a somersault in her chest. She could think of only one reason why her father should call at Ben’s house and the thought made her feel sick and dizzy.
‘Can you walk with me to your dad’s house?’ she said.
‘If that’s what you want,’ Simon replied, grabbing hold of the leash.
‘It is. You don’t think your dad will mind me dropping in?’ Simon stared at her as if he could not believe she needed to ask such a question.
‘Why should he? The times we’ve dropped in on you and your dad.’ Suddenly he surprised her by slipping his hand through her arm. ‘You seem a bit wobbly. Your dad was the same when he came into our house.’
Grace was convinced then that her father had received bad news and tears clogged her throat. He must have felt the need to talk to another man, but why choose Ben when he could have unburdened himself to one of his fellow workmates?
It took less than five minutes to reach their destination and just as long for Grace to pull herself together on the doorstep before she gave Simon the go-ahead to bang the knocker. Naturally, it was Ben who opened the door. She thought he did not appear to be surprised to see her and without a word he took hold of her shoulders and helped her up over the threshold.
‘Welcome to my home,’ he said, ushering her along the lobby, where he paused at the bottom of the stairs. ‘It’s time I had the chance to return your hospitality. Norman was looking a bit down in the mouth when I saw him get off the tram, so I suggested he come back here and have a glass of ale from a jug I’d had filled at the off-licence at the pub. Simon, can you go see how he’s doing, please?’ Grace moved out of the way as Simon carried Fergie by her into the kitchen.
‘That was kind of you, thank you’ Grace mumbled. ‘Did he tell you why he was looking miserable?’
‘The results of the tests haven’t come through yet, but he doesn’t find the wait easy, and is expecting the worst,’ Ben said, squeezing her shoulder gently. ‘He’s worried about telling you.’
‘So, what do I do?’
‘Difficult as it is, I think his thoughts need to be led in a different direction.’
‘He already has something else to distract him, but that’s another worry.’ She gazed up at him. ‘I don’t suppose he mentioned Dougie having changed his mind about settling in Australia?’
Ben frowned. ‘He did mention him, but I didn’t quite catch what he said because I was still getting my head around what he’d told me about his visit to the hospital.’
‘Is it cancer?’ asked Grace, a tremor in her voice.
‘It’s a possibility, but it’s not definite.’
‘Where is it if it is? It can’t be his lungs because he’d surely have shown signs of having difficulty breathing.’
Ben hesitated. ‘It’s the prostate.’
She looked puzzled.
‘It’s a man thing,’ he said quietly.
‘Oh!’ she exclaimed, none the wiser.
He changed the subject. ‘So, where is Dougie now?’
‘He could be in London or still on a ship on the way there.’
‘Would you mind if he settled in London?’
‘He wants me to go down there and is thinking we could set a date for the wedding then.’
‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘It’s the last thing I want,’ she said with passion, coming to a halt and gazing up into Ben’s shadowy features.
‘So you won’t be going down?’
‘He’ll try and persuade me that he’s really come back to please me, but I don’t believe that – neither does Dad. I think he’s hiding something.’
‘Is it your dad being ill that’s caused you to change your mind about Dougie?’
‘It’s a good excuse to give him,’ Grace said hesitantly, ‘but… the truth is… my feelings towards him have changed. I no longer admire him… and I don’t particularly trust him either. He’s always been a bit of a gambler but I do believe he hasn’t been honest with me about the extent of the risks he took with money. Even without any proper proof I do believe he’s addicted to gambling and that he’ll never be able to financially support us both. If the truth were known, I think he believes Dad has a nest egg tucked away and I’ll inherit it. He believes he can twist me around his little finger and I’ll give and forgive him anything.’
‘I take it that means you no longer love him?’
‘I don’t think I knew what love was when he started taking me out. I was only sixteen at the time, and I think my head was turned by his good looks. He can be charming, but, I don’t know, he can be quite mean as well – he was always telling me what I could or couldn’t do. I think I wasn’t just something that looked good on his arm on Friday night, but I could be someone who could fund his addiction in the future,’ she sighed, and then she continued wearily, shaking her head slightly. ‘Sorry, why am I telling you all this?’
‘Because I asked you,’ Ben said softly.
She caught the gleam of his eyes and could not look away. When she spoke, the breath caught in her throat.
‘Is it because of Dad you wanted to know?’
‘Partly, I want to ease his mind, so I have a proposal to put to you,’ he paused a moment. ‘Would I be right in thinking that we both like and admire each other?’
‘I like and admire you,’ she admitted, a little taken aback.
‘And I like and admire you,’ said Ben, his arms finding her waist. ‘I think together we could support each other through difficult times.’ He paused. ‘Please, marry me, Grace? I can assure you, I’m not after your father’s money.’
For a moment she did not know what to say because his proposal had come out of the blue, and there had been no mention of love, so she could only presume he was proposing a marriage that would be convenient to them both. Then he lowered his head and kissed her. She felt her heartbeat increase and she tingled all over as she returned his kiss. She would have liked the kiss to have lasted longer, but as it was, she was needing to take a breath when he ended the embrace.
‘Well!’ she exclaimed, resting her head against his chest. ‘You’d better ask Dad’s permission.’
‘I take that for a “yes” then,’ Ben said, and he kissed her lightly on the lips as gently as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing on a flower.
He then helped her remove her coat and hung it on a peg on the wall and led her by the hand into the kitchen. She was aware of her father’s and Simon’s eyes fixed on their clasped hands.
‘Norman, I’d like to ask your permission for Grace’s hand in marriage,’ said Ben without any preamble.
Her father’s face lit up and his gaze passed from Ben’s to his daughter’s flushed countenance. ‘I’m delighted to give it, as I suspect from her expression she is in favour of this match.’
‘Yes, Dad!’ said Grace. ‘I believe Ben and I will rub along together nice
ly. I only need to ask Simon if he is in agreement?’
Simon’s expression answered that question, but if there had been any doubt the hug that he gave both his father and Grace said it all.
‘Can the wedding be before Christmas?’ he asked.
‘Let it be as soon as it can be arranged,’ Norman said.
* * *
And so, despite still being in a bit of a daze, Grace heeded Norman’s advice, and when she went to church on Sunday morning, she made an appointment with the vicar for her and Ben to talk to him one evening that coming week. They wanted to arrange a date for their wedding and having the banns read. The marriage service was arranged for one o’clock on Sunday 9th December 1934 and the banns would be read three Sundays before at the Sunday morning services.
Grace resolved to write to Dougie as soon as the date was set, knowing her marrying Ben was the right path to take; her feelings for him were so different from those she had felt towards Dougie. What she had felt for Dougie had just been youthful infatuation, not love, so it would be a mistake for her to marry him, and she did not believe Dougie truly loved her or he would not have messed her about so much.
As she wrote the letter, Grace felt calmer than she had in weeks; it was as though all the confusion and turmoil that she had felt since Dougie had departed had slipped away overnight. She went on to tell Dougie that she was breaking things off with him also because her father was seriously ill and she couldn’t bear to leave him. Besides, she had met someone else, a thoughtful, caring and responsible man, who had asked her to marry him, and she had accepted his proposal. Then Grace posted the letter to the address in London straight away.
That done, and feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, Grace went and told Milly her news. She wanted to ask Milly whether she would be her matron of honour, knowing that Ben intended to ask Jimmy to be his best man. Milly’s pleasure at her friend’s news was obvious. She agreed instantly, and after placing the baby she had been dressing in the pram, Milly removed a bottle of sherry from the sideboard, and despite the early hour, poured two small glasses to toast the happy couple. She then asked Grace eagerly for information on how Ben’s proposal had come about and whether she had written to Dougie yet.