by Anna King
‘Phil! Phil! Open the door, quickly.’
Phil, who had been staring morosely at the ceiling, nearly fell off his bed in startled amazement at the tone in his sister’s voice. If it had been Becky, that would be one thing, but for Amy to call out to him like that…!
Opening the door cautiously he said, ‘What’s up, Amy? You don’t sound like—’
‘Get out of my way, you.’ Her slight frame pushed past him, and with an anxious stare down the empty corridor, Phil closed the door behind him.
‘Now see here, Amy. I won’t be spoken to like that.’
‘Oh, shut up, Phil. Just… Just shut up!’ Phil’s eyebrows nearly disappeared under his hair. This couldn’t be his little sister talking to and looking at him in this manner. But it was. Her next words, however, struck him dumb.
‘Here! Here’s your money. Now you can pay your gambling debt and find yourself a job. There’s a hundred pounds there, courtesy of dear Richard. I did offer to help you pay it back, but all things considered, I think I’ve already paid my share. Though given the choice I’d much rather have paid it back in coinage.’
As the implication of her words sank in, Phil’s mouth dropped open. Then, his nostrils flaring, his cheeks turning red in indignation, he spluttered, ‘Did he touch you, Amy? Did that overblown bastard touch you, because if he has, so help me, I’ll…’
Amy spun on him like a wild animal. ‘You’ll do nothing, Phil. Just like you always do. Oh, you’ll shout and bluster, and tell everyone who’ll listen exactly what you plan to do, but you won’t do anything, you never have. You’re all mouth and no trousers. That’s an expression I picked up from Bessie. I’ve never heard it before, but the minute I did, I knew it fitted you to a tee.’ She glared at him, and under her accusing gaze Phil’s eyes dropped. ‘I knew it. I knew you wouldn’t do anything, that’s why I told you how I got the money, because I had to tell someone or burst. And you were the only one I could think of to share my little secret with, without being afraid of the consequences. Because if ever Becky found out, then, ill or not, she’d probably kill him – or have a bloody good try. So would Jimmy and Charlie, and even Bessie, as old as she is. But not you, Phil. Not my big, protective brother. The so-called man of the house. Huh! That’s a laugh. Becky’s been looking after you since our parents died. Now I’m off. I don’t really want to go, but I’m afraid if I stay I’ll blurt it all out. Jimmy’s taking us all on holiday for a while. Normally I wouldn’t have even considered leaving Becky alone with you and Maude for company, but like I said, I’ve got no choice. Not unless I want to see Becky in prison, or worse. And Richard isn’t worth hanging for.’
Phil sat dumbly on the edge of the bed, Amy’s words raining down on him like hammer blows, but still he did nothing. The decent part of him wanted to take the money and shove it in Richard’s face the moment he walked in the door, then give him a good thrashing. But he knew he wouldn’t. The money lying on the bed was his only salvation. Without it, he was doomed. A wave of self-loathing, so strong it left him breathless, swept over him as he took a long hard look at himself. Everything that Becky had said to him over the years was true. And now here was Amy, his only champion, turning on him as well. What hurt the most was that he knew it was all true. He was weak, and selfish, and gutless – and God help him, but he’d always be the same. He just didn’t have what it took to change. Dropping his head in his hands, he let out a soft groan, but Amy was unmoved.
‘Don’t bother with the old head in the hands bit, Phil. I’ve seen it all before, but this time I’m not falling for it.’
Bleary-eyed, Phil peered cautiously up at his sister before running a shaking hand over his unshaven chin. ‘Amy… Please, please don’t look at me like that. I know I deserve it, but please… won’t you give me one last chance?’
Amy was already halfway out of the room. Pausing, she bit at her bottom lip, her face now sorrowful. All her temper evaporated as she gazed on the pathetic figure she had looked up to for years, and she shook her head. Ignoring Phil’s plea she said softly, ‘You didn’t even bother to ask what Richard did. Oh, I know you made a feeble effort at playing the outraged big brother, but that didn’t last long. I could have been raped for that hundred pounds. It was only my screams that stopped him – that, and an unexpected visitor. You forgot all about me the moment you saw the money, and realised what it could do for you.’ She shot him a pitying glance. ‘I’m going now, Phil. I won’t wish you a Merry Christmas. It would be hypocritical under the circumstances.’
Phil heard Amy go into Maude’s room, then, like someone drunk, he staggered over and shut the door. Leaning his back against it, he whispered anguishly, ‘I do love you, Amy. You don’t know how much.’ But not enough to give up the money that had cost his little sister so dearly. Oh, no, he didn’t love her enough to do that. His inner voice mocking him, Phil picked up the money from where Amy had thrown it onto the bed and, clutching it tightly, he began to cry.
*
‘Good Evening. I’m sorry I’m not dressed for visitors. I wasn’t expecting any guests until much later. Please, take a seat and make yourselves comfortable.’
Rebecca smiled at the small band of people standing in front of the cheerful blaze of the fire. She recognised Bessie at once and was heartened when her smile of greeting was returned, as the elderly woman thankfully took a chair by the fire. A young boy, muffled up to the eyes in a thick coat and scarf, sat on Bessie’s lap. Rebecca couldn’t see much of his face, but she could sense his unease at being in this strange house. On either side of them stood the men. Charlie, warming his legs before the fire, his normally cheerful face solemn, and Jimmy standing behind Bessie’s chair, one hand resting reassuringly on the child’s shoulder.
‘Can I offer you some refreshments?’
Giving the boy an affectionate squeeze, Jimmy shook his head. ‘No thanks, Rebecca. We haven’t time… Unless any of you would like something before we leave.’ He looked towards the small group.
Bessie sniffed loudly. ‘Thanks, ever so. It’s nice of yer ter think of the rest of us.’ Looking towards Rebecca she said, ‘I wouldn’t mind a nice hot cuppa, if there’s one going, love. Though I can see you’ve got yer ’ands full.’ She directed her glance at the heavily laden table and the three men and two women who kept darting in and out of the room.
‘I’m sure I can manage some tea, Bessie.’ Flicking her eyes to Charlie, she added, ‘What about you, Charlie? Wouldn’t you like something while you’re waiting for Amy? She’s upstairs getting packed. She shouldn’t be too long.’
At Rebecca’s words, Charlie’s face lit up like a beacon. The child too seemed to come alive. ‘Amy’s coming with us, miss?’ James pulled down his scarf and peeped up at Rebecca hopefully. ‘She said she couldn’t come, because she had to look after her sister. Are you her sister, miss?’
Bessie’s voice rose., ‘There, there, young fella. Enough of yer questions. ’Course it’s Amy’s sister. Who’d yer think she was, her blooming granny?’ The boy giggled, his small form relaxing against Bessie’s chest.
Jimmy followed Rebecca into the kitchen. Avoiding the bustle around them, Rebecca managed to get to the stove. ‘There, the kettle will soon be boiling. Won’t you sit down, Jimmy? Like I said, Amy won’t be long.’
Looking around for a spare chair, Jimmy shrugged then laughed. ‘I think I’ll stand. Bleeding hell! Who’s Richard got coming to this party, the King himself?’
Smiling broadly Rebecca answered, ‘You’d think so, judging by the amount of effort he’s making. Though I think he’s up to something. Richard never spends money if he can help it. Anyway, let’s not waste time talking about my odious cousin… Oh, the kettle’s boiled. I’ll make the tea, then we can talk. Only, not here.’ Pouring out the piping hot beverage, she looked in dismay around the crowded room and the curious glances being directed at them. ‘Let me take this to Bessie, then we can go upstairs. It will be more private,’ she added, sending a wry look at a hove
ring young waitress who immediately returned to her duties.
With Jimmy following close behind, Rebecca led him to her room, passing Amy on the way down.
When the door closed behind them, cocooning them into a little world of their own, Rebecca had to sit down quickly. The influenza had already left her limbs weakened, and finding herself in her bedroom with this charismatic man she suddenly felt as weak as a day-old kitten.
If Jimmy was aware of the effect he was having on her he didn’t show it. Sitting opposite on Amy’s bed, he began to talk, but Rebecca was only half listening. Most of what he was saying Rebecca had already heard from Amy, and she was content to just sit and listen while savouring the intimacy of the moment without having to concentrate on Jimmy’s words.
‘…So you see, I must get the boy away for a while, though it couldn’t have come at a worse time. I had a devil of a job getting through to the hotel. The telephone cables aren’t working properly because of the bad weather, and I had to go all the way to my solicitor’s to find a telephone because he’s the only one I knew who had one. I wanted to get a telephone installed in the house when they first appeared on the market, but Bessie made such a fuss, I decided to let the matter rest… For the time being.’ He grinned devilishly. And Charlie’s been on at me to get one of the new automobiles. He can’t wait to get behind the wheel. I’m tempted myself to be truthful.
The horse and carriage will soon be a thing of the past, though when I broached the subject…’
‘Bessie nearly had a fit,’ Rebecca interjected playfully.
Laughing loudly, Jimmy nodded. ‘You’re absolutely right. If the people of the East End knew how hen-pecked I was, they’d have a good laugh at my expense.’
‘You wouldn’t change her though, would you, Jimmy?’
‘No, I wouldn’t.’ His eyes sombre now, he continued. ‘She’s been like a mother to me. If it wasn’t for Bessie, I doubt if I’d be alive today. My own mother was a drunken slattern who didn’t know I was around half the time, and when she did remember she had a child she beat me black and blue. Now, all these years later, I find I have a son with a similar mother. Oh, Heather may not be a drunk, nor does she beat him physically. But there are many ways to destroy the human spirit, and I’m not going to allow my son to endure the same fate I did as a child. I want him to feel loved and secure. After what happened this morning, my initial reaction was to take him away from London for good, but that idea soon passed. The East End is my home, and I’m damned if I’m going to let Heather Mills drive me away. No, that’s not the answer. What I have to do, if possible, is to spend time with James. Let him see I really love and want him, and I’m not going to get fed up with him and throw him out the minute he puts a foot out of line. Also I want him to come to think of me as his father.
Oh, he already knows I am, but a name isn’t enough. I want him to truly think of me as his dad, and trust me. That’s the most important part of all. Because once I’ve gained his trust, and hopefully his love, then I won’t have to fear Heather any more. The only power she has over me is the child, but once James gets used to being with me, and wants to stay by my side, then that power will be taken from her. When that day comes I’ll finally be able to relax.’
Leaning forward, he took Rebecca’s hands. ‘It’s very good of you to let Amy come with us, I know how you’ll miss her while she’s away, but I’ll take good care of her. I’ve grown very fond of Amy, just like I’ve grown very fond of her big sister. In fact I could say I love Amy’s sister, though I’m not quite sure how she feels.’ His dark eyes bored into Rebecca’s as if he could see into her very soul. ‘Do you happen to know? Is there any chance for me, Rebecca? If not, just say, and I’ll never mention the subject again.’
Rebecca blinked furiously, her entire body churning with emotion. Her throat felt constricted and she had to gulp in a very unladylike fashion before she could answer, ‘I think both the Bradford sisters are very fond of you, Jimmy, especially the elder, stuck-up one, as Bessie once called her.’
Blowing out his cheeks in profound relief, Jimmy tightened his grip on Rebecca’s hands while leaning nearer. ‘So you’ll wait for me, Rebecca? I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Hopefully I’ll be back before you know it, but like I’ve said, I have to gain my son’s trust and be content in my own mind that even if Heather reappears, he’ll want to stay with me.’
A surge of alarm swept through Rebecca’s body. ‘I… I thought you were only going away for a few days, but… but the way you’re talking it sounds as if you plan to be away for some time. What about your bus… business,’ she fumbled over the word and Jimmy, knowing how she felt about the way he earned his money, grinned.
‘I haven’t had time to think about that part of my life, but now that I have responsibilities, it may be time to start thinking about going into another line of work. After all, I can’t take the chance of being arrested for illegal activities now I have a son – and hopefully a wife in the not too distant future.’ He cocked his eyebrows roguishly, his humour disappearing when he saw the distress on Rebecca’s face.
Jimmy closed his eyes in confusion, not knowing if his light-hearted remark about acquiring a wife or his imminent departure was causing Rebecca’s obvious misery. Thinking quickly, he said urgently, ‘Come with us, Rebecca. I know you’re still recuperating, but if you dress up warmly, I’m sure it’ll be all right.’
Rebecca gently loosened her hands from Jimmy’s and shook her head. ‘There’s nothing I’d like better, Jimmy. But I’m still very weak, and Dr Barker has warned me that if I so much as put my nose out of the window, he won’t be responsible for the consequences. Besides, I’d only be in the way… Yes, yes, I would,’ she added quickly as Jimmy started to protest. The whole reason you’re going away is to be with your son. To spend time with him and gain his trust. You can’t do that if you have an invalid to care for as well. And the child might see me as a threat. If what Amy tells me is correct, and the child has had numerous “uncles”, what’s to stop him from thinking his father is the kind of man who’s going to provide him with numerous “aunts”.’ Her head moving from side to side, she whispered, ‘It wouldn’t be fair on James. He needs your undivided attention, and you won’t be able to provide that if I’m around to distract you.’
Jimmy knew she was right, but it pained him to leave her. Especially here, in this house with her motley assortment of relations. Then he had an idea.
‘I know, I’ll ask Tom… Dr Barker if you can stay with him until I return. I know he’d like the company, he’s been very lonely since his wife died. You’d be doing each other a good turn, and it would set my mind at ease if I knew you were with Tom instead of stuck here being at everyone’s beck and call.’ As if the decision had already been made, Jimmy added eagerly. ‘He’ll be here tonight, unless some emergency crops up. You tell him what I’ve suggested. I know he’ll be overjoyed.’
Rebecca smiled weakly. She had no intention of doing any such thing, but she wasn’t going to argue. Let Jimmy and Amy think she was with Dr Barker. It would ease both their minds.
Then she jumped as Jimmy moved from Amy’s bed to sit beside her. Stroking her long, luxurious hair, Jimmy pressed his lips against the freshly washed tresses. ‘When we’re married, you must wear your hair like that for me every night. Until then, there’s some unfinished business we have. You remember, the last time we were together. I was just about to kiss you when you mentioned Heather’s name and, fool that I was, I made a very hasty departure. But she’s not here to distract me now, and I need something to remember you by while I’m away.’
When his lips came down on hers, Rebecca’s body crumbled. It was only Jimmy’s strong arms that kept her from sliding off the bed into an undignified heap onto the floor. The world to Rebecca seemed another planet away as the man she loved held her in his arms, locked together, his warm, firm lips on hers. Then the idyllic moment was shattered by the fretful sound of the child’s voice.
‘Daddy, Daddy. Where are you? Daddy, Daddy.’
Reluctantly Jimmy ended the embrace, but kept a tight lock on Rebecca’s waist and leant his forehead against hers. ‘I thought he’d never call me by that name, but since this afternoon, when he knew Heather wasn’t coming back, he hasn’t stopped calling me Daddy. He even told me he loved me, poor little sod. It’s as if he’s trying to reassure himself somehow, and to his young mind he probably thinks he does. He’s so desperate for someone to love him… But look, before I go, I have something for you.’ Fumbling in his coat pocket, he brought out a red velvet box. ‘I’m afraid I haven’t had time to wrap it. Here open it…’
With trembling fingers, Rebecca opened the box. There, nestled on a red satin cushion, was a gold locket. ‘It’s beautiful, Jimmy,’ she breathed, her voice filled with emotion. I’ve never had anything like it in my entire life.’
Taking the locket from her shaking fingers, Jimmy tenderly fastened it around her neck, and was about to kiss her again when the romantic mood was once again interrupted by the sound of James calling for his father.
‘You’d better go, Jimmy,’ Rebecca said, a tremor in her voice. ‘It sounds as if your son is becoming fretful.’
Delving once again into his pockets, Jimmy brought out a bunch of keys and an envelope.
‘Look, take these, darling. They’re the keys to my house. You never know if you might need them. Just in case you forget to ask Tom what we spoke about.’ There was an unmistakable glint of humour in Jimmy’s eyes. ‘There’s also the name of the hotel at which we’ll be staying, and the combination of my safe, and where to find it… Just in case you need any money.’ He held up a warning hand. ‘I know you’ll never use it, but humour me, will you. If I know you’ve a place to stay and money to live on while I’m gone, then I’ll be able to give all my attention to James knowing you’re well provided for. It’ll be up to you whether you take advantage of my offer, an offer that’s made out of love and concern for you. The point is it’s all there if you need it.’ Placing a tender kiss on her lips, he said huskily, ‘I’ll see you soon, darling, I promise. And I’ll send Amy back just as soon as James is more settled.’