“I’m sorry! I can’t! I can’t tell him!” No sooner had she apologized than Aqua said hesitantly, “B-but does that mean you think marrying that guy is the right thing to do? I mean, Darkness seems to have her own type and all…”
“Dumbass. So she doesn’t get to marry her type. Boo-hoo. You heard how she described her ‘type.’ Just imagine if she actually found her ideal man and brought him home. Listen up. We’re going to push ahead with this Balter guy. He looks like a good person, so we’re going to take the hit on this one. Darkness is sure to try something, so we have to keep a short leash on her. It sounds like Balter’s way nicer than his dad. So even if they get married, he’d probably let her go on an adventure every once in a while. So Dad’s happy, I’m happy, Darkness stops going on all those dangerous adventures, and best of all, we get rid of one of our three problem party members.”
I thrust my fist in the air and straightened up.
“Anyway, you can’t make a living as an adventurer your whole life! It’s such a grim occupation—if you have a chance to get out, you should take it! Heck, I’m constantly thinking about quitting! Let’s not mince words. Darkness is an idiot. If it were just that she wanted to be an adventurer, sure! That’d be great! I’d even cheer her on! But no, again, she’s an idiot. It may not be exactly right to stick your nose into another person’s family business, but our goal is to get Darkness safely married off! And if we can’t manage that, Plan B is to leave the Dustiness name in good enough condition that she can be married out of the party at any time!”
“Hey, wait a second! You never actually answered my question!”
7
“Very sorry to keep you waiting, sirs and lady.”
“Very sorry.”
Aqua and I came in as Balter and Darkness’s dad were having a chat. We stood next to Darkness, who shot glances at both of us.
“I can see your point of view, Kazuma,” Aqua said. “I really wish Darkness could marry a person she loves and be happy, but things are going to get out of hand here.”
“I’m so glad you understand. Now, you do whatever you want. I’ll be trying to make sure that guy is in love with Darkness by the end of this meeting!”
I couldn’t tell if Darkness was able to hear what the two of us were whispering, but she hissed in my ear, “Stop right now, and I won’t blame you for any of this. Otherwise, when this is all over, I’ll make you wish you were dead.”
Yikes.
But at the moment, I was immune to intimidation.
After all, right now I could hide behind an ally even more powerful than Darkness.
That’s right…
“Sir, I hope you will not consider me too forward, but perhaps the moment has come to begin the meeting of the young lady and Lord Balter. Our young lady has been most eager.”
Darkness ground her teeth at me in a silent demand to not say another word.
Her father, of course, didn’t notice but happily agreed with me. In his own fatherly way, he didn’t seem particularly perturbed that I’d smacked his daughter upside the head to shut her up just a few minutes before. In fact, he seemed kind of relieved.
Now I knew I had his blessing and that I could get away with a certain amount of tomfoolery.
“Very well. Lord Balter, Lalatina,” Darkness’s dad said. “Come with me. Let’s go to the parlor.”
Darkness suddenly stumbled.
“Oh, the heel of my shoe seems to have broken. Lord Balter, would you lend me your hand…?” And she stretched out her hand toward Balter.
Her tone, at least, was perfectly polite, perhaps in an effort to avoid another smack from me. But alarms were going off in my head. She had to be planning something.
I quickly held out a hand and said, “At your service, Young Lady. However much you may fancy young Lord Balter, surely you mustn’t ask him to support you before you are even engaged. My apologies, milord. Our young lady has been in a most unusual humor toda— Oowowowow you’re gonna break it—shall break— Young Lady! Cut it— Please st-stop these p-pranks…”
Tears brimming in my eyes, I shook out the hand Darkness had grabbed as hard as she could.
C-curse her…! Maybe that was what she’d planned to do to Balter if I hadn’t intervened…
“Wh-what’s wrong? Are you all right?” Balter asked me with concern as I pressed on my hand and wiped the tears from my eyes.
What a sweet guy! Please, please take this crazy lady off my hands!
“Heh-heh-heh. Nothing at all, milord. Shall we go?”
As I watched Darkness stride off with Balter, Aqua discreetly leaned in and cast Heal on my hand.
Darkness’s father put his palms together apologetically and dipped his head.
“Now then, let me introduce myself properly. I am Balter Barnes Alexei, eldest son of the Alexei family and assisting in my father’s governance.”
Darkness and Balter were seated across from each other at a white table in the parlor.
Balter was quite the charmer.
He was about a head taller than me and so well built, you could tell it even through his clothes—he probably trained every day.
And he gazed at my charge with a calm smile on his face.
Aqua and I stood unnaturally close to Darkness.
Balter seemed to take note of this, but as Darkness’s father didn’t say anything, he could hardly bring it up.
“I am Lalatina Ford Dustiness. I will forego a lengthy introduction of my family, which I presume even the son of a playboy lord knows wel— Eeyowch!”
As she veered into an insult, Darkness was suddenly facedown on the table, blushing and quivering slightly.
“Wh-what’s wrong?” Balter asked in concern.
“N-nothing… I simply couldn’t stand to look at the young lord’s face anym— Hrrgh!”
Down again, this time red up to her ears.
“Young Lady Darkness has been feeling ill to her stomach since this morning. Oh, Darkness! If you have a stomachache, you shouldn’t overexert yourself!”
“What? Th-that’s not—”
Darkness, embarrassed, tried to deny Aqua’s improvised remark.
I nudged Aqua, whose bit of ad-libbing caused more problems than it solved, and said, “Our young lady has been in a tizzy of excitement since this morning in anticipation of meeting Lord Balter. Observe our young lady’s countenance! She is quite crimson with modesty!”
“I-indeed, my face is red… How e-embarrassing…”
I leaned a little harder on my foot and whispered so only Darkness could hear—as I crushed her foot under the table: “Okay, Young Lady? Any more shenanigans and I’ll stomp even harder.”
I wasn’t completely sure Darkness had heard me, but with strained breath, she muttered, “…Y-you’ll pay for this…”
Ah, our young lady. Ever civil.
By that point, her dad seemed to have grasped what was going on underneath the table. He’d figured it out quickly enough to suggest he was familiar with his daughter’s quirks.
I wanted to give him a piece of my mind for letting his daughter grow up like this, but now wasn’t the time.
Her dad picked up the flow, changing the subject to Balter to help cover for what was happening with Darkness and me.
“Lord Balter, I’ve heard your mansion was recently destroyed. Have you any place to live? I’m sure we have space for you here—in a separate room from my daughter, of course.”
His tone was joking, and Balter played right along.
“Ha-ha-ha! No, sir, I’m sure I could barely restrain myself even being in the same house with someone as lovely as Lalatina…”
Darkness’s face remained red, and she still trembled gently, but otherwise the talk went smoothly after that.
8
Darkness’s father said he was probably just getting in the young people’s way, and he excused himself.
As he walked out, he patted me on the shoulder and whispered, “I’m counting on you.”
The sprawling grounds boasted a huge lake, and even though it was winter, colorful flowers bloomed everywhere—maybe they’d been bred for it, or maybe they were just that high quality.
Aqua watched the fish in the lake, then gave a whistle and a clap.
At first I wondered what she was doing. Then I noticed the fish had flocked to her.
…Actually, that’s pretty neat. I’ll have to have her teach me how to do it later.
“Milady Lalatina, do you have any hobbies?”
While we stood there, quite taken by the lake, Balter asked the kind of inane question usually required for a get-together like this.
“Oh, I’ve always been rather fond of goblin hunti— Grrrg!”
I jabbed an elbow into Darkness’s ribs as she began to run her mouth.
Balter responded with a crooked smile and a cock of the head. I had, after all, been staying abnormally close to Darkness all day.
“…You two seem like quite good friends.”
I frowned. Aww, crud.
Darn! What was I going to do if I’d gone too far and was about to hurt Darkness’s reputation instead of helping it?
After all, how could two prospective partners meet each other with a butler an elbow length away all the time?
Darkness saw me grasping for the words to smooth this over and gave me a vicious smirk.
Oh no. What’s she…?
“My butler, Kazuma, and I are indeed very close. We’re together every day. We eat together, we bathe together, and of course at night we—we— Hrrr…!”
One ridiculous thing after another came out of her mouth until, suddenly, her face turned red and she swallowed her words.
Geez, doesn’t she have any shame?
“My young lady does love to joke. She has an adorable way of saying things that are personally embarrassing. Isn’t it sweet? Miss Lalatina? What’s wrong, my dear Lalatina? Lalatina, your face is so red…”
“Hrr… J-Just…you…wait…”
Darkness grit her teeth and held back tears at hearing her cute little name so many times in a row.
All right. That ought to keep her in line for a few minutes.
Balter gave us a bittersweet smile and said, “You two are as close as you say. It’s enough to make a man jealous.”
“Oh, you jest, sir. We are merely a lady and her butler having a jape…”
At that, Darkness gasped a little and took a quick step away from me.
What’s this?
“This has gone on long enough! When are you going to drop this stupid act?!”
And before I could stop her, Darkness ripped the hem clean off her dress.
Her thighs were clearly visible; there was no way to avoid her ero-ness. Or the perv-ness of the way she had shortened her skirt so it was easy to move in, with a slit down the side.
Balter quickly averted his eyes, and Darkness yelled, “You—Balter! Your class is Knight, so you know how to use a sword, don’t you? My class is Crusader, and you’re coming with me to the training grounds! Then I’m going to find out what you’re really made of. Now, come on!”
I had no hope of stopping Darkness. This crazy fit had come on too suddenly.
“Look at this man, Balter. At this Kazuma, who has gazed lasciviously upon my noble self for all this time!”
I w-w-wasn’t looking!
I just glanced out of curiosity…
9
“The duel goes until one of us cries uncle. If you can make me cry, Hold, enough!—if you can wring the words I can’t take any more! from my lips—then I will marry you or go anywhere you wish!”
Darkness had brought us all to the training grounds.
In the middle of the field, she tossed a wooden training sword to Balter. He caught it, then gave it an exploratory swing with a troubled expression.
“Ahem… Milady Lalatina, I am a Knight. A training implement this may be, but I cannot raise a sword against a woman.”
Darkness appeared profoundly displeased at this.
“You soft-headed lout. You see Kazuma over there? He prides himself as a proponent of equality between the sexes, and he’s told women he’s more than willing to drop-kick them. You could learn a thing or two from him.”
Balter did look at me, but somehow, I didn’t want him to.
He exhaled as though he’d made up his mind.
“…Very well. To be honest, I came here fully intending to refuse the match my father was trying to force upon me… But when I saw you, I had a change of heart. You are unlike the other run-of-the-mill noble girls. Nothing less, I suppose, from the only daughter of the ‘kingdom’s confidant.’ You were unaffected yet charmingly shy about your own words. You were so willing to speak your mind and so willing to treat your servants as if they were your peers, not your inferiors. I admit my interest was piqued… En garde, then, Milady Lalatina!”
The only thing more sudden than his declaration of infatuation was the way he leaped at Darkness!
His stroke was swift; it knocked Darkness’s sword clear out of her hands, and then his wooden blade rested at her shoulder.
Balter gave a small sigh. He must have thought that meant the duel was over.
But Darkness picked up her weapon as if nothing had happened.
“All right. Next. Have at you!”
About thirty minutes later…
“S-surely this is enough! Surely you can see who has the advantage? Why will you not concede?”
Balter had been the better fighter in every bout, yet he was the one who seemed to be at his wit’s end.
In terms of sheer skill, Balter was clearly superior. Darkness’s blade had never so much as grazed him, but his had delivered more than a few sound blows to her. Some of them were starting to bruise already.
But despite her ragged breathing, the light hadn’t gone out of Darkness’s eyes. Drenched in sweat, her cheeks glowing, she shouted, “What’s wrong? No need to hold back—give me all you’ve got! Let me witness a truly dominating strength!”
Faced with such a woman, he cast his sword aside and raised both hands in a gesture of surrender.
“…I give, Milady Lalatina. I have lost. I may have outdone you in swordsmanship but not in strength of spirit. I cannot strike you again… You are a very strong person.”
Balter gave Darkness a starstruck sort of look, then smiled.
Darkness, for her part, slumped her shoulders dejectedly. “…What, it’s over? Pathetic. Go train some more, and come back when you can fight.”
Balter positively laughed at that—a joyous, unrestrained laugh.
Then he said, so softly I wasn’t sure Darkness could hear him, “…I really have fallen for you…”
Just a little murmur.
Someone who didn’t know any better might have taken it for a nice story. How Darkness outlasted Balter and was able to show how resolute she was.
But I knew what was going through her head, and the scene couldn’t move me the same way…
Balter probably took Darkness’s harsh breathing and ruddy cheeks as the signs of a Crusader straining to endure pain.
Aqua went up to Darkness, who was still panting, and healed her wounds.
I heaved a deep sigh. My companion picked up the sword Balter had thrown away.
“All right, Kazuma, come at me. Show Balter your mercilessness and total disregard for human decency!”
I was just sitting in a corner of the training ground with no idea what she was going on about, but she gave me the sword.
All right, what is going on here?
No way. She had that fire in her eyes from the fight with Balter—no way was I going up against that.
“I, too, would like to see the fighting style of one whom Milady Lalatina trusts so deeply,” Balter said.
He just couldn’t keep his mouth shut, could he?
“Ooh!
” Aqua, done healing Darkness’s wounds, seemed eager to see how this would play out.
Geez, what’s the deal?
“Okay, fine. I get it. Guess the matchmaking’s scuttled anyway. And you aren’t the type to spread nasty rumors about the ‘young lady.’” I dropped my pretense toward Balter, talking to him like a normal person, and stood with a grunt.
“Excellent, Kazuma! I’ve always wanted to try sparring with you! The complete lack of moral grounding that makes you willing to steal a girl’s underwear the first time you fight her—the cruel cleverness that allows you to attack your opponent’s weakness! Now—come at me with everything you’ve got!”
Balter looked at me as Darkness spoke, but I really, really didn’t want him to.
I had no intention of going toe-to-toe with such a hot-and-heavy opponent on such a cold day.
I stuck out my free hand.
“Create Water!”
Liquid appeared over Darkness’s head.
“Wha—?!”
I cocked my head at Balter’s surprised reaction.
“Something wrong…?”
Balter replied a bit stumblingly, “N-no, it’s just… Typically, one doesn’t use magic in a duel of swords…”
Oh, I get it.
…Wait a second…
Aqua was looking at Darkness and murmuring, “You’ve done it again, Kazuma. You’ve proved no one is a more talented sexual harasser than you. You’ve actually done it.”
I followed her gaze and looked at Darkness. She was drenched—turning her undergarments transparent. Combined with her torn skirt, it… Let’s just say I was very grateful. Very grateful.
Balter found himself completely unable to look at Darkness. Instead, he stared intensely at the ground.
“Heh… Heh-heh! Behold, Balter! I thought I was in a sword battle—and now here I am in this humiliating state! This is what you can learn from this man!”
Darkness stood there dripping and apparently eager to invite a misunderstanding.
“I—I didn’t mean to…! Aww, damn it!”
She’d wanted me to come at her with everything I had, and…well, I did.
I’d used magic once already—no point in not using it again!
You're Being Summoned, Darkness Page 10