Playing Safe

by Claudia Jameson

  'I'm sorry. I wasn't being flippant, believe me.' 'It's OK. Well, there I was. I was seventeen, I hadn't had my birthday yet. I—Demetrius didn't know how I felt about Nick, he didn't even know we spent time together, a few hours here and there. I knew he wouldn't approve. Anyway, when he had to leave Athens, I—allowed things to go too far with Nick. We had every opportunity…

  'When Demetrius came back I was in a state. He'd been away for two weeks, and during that time I'd missed my period. I couldn't believe it, I was stunned. I couldn't believe I was pregnant. Nick and I, it had only happened twice…'

  'Once is enough,' Grace said, thinking aloud. The words echoed inside her head. Once is enough. She kept hearing what she had said, and she squirmed inwardly. It was food for thought, reason for her to think again. 'Go on, Melissa.'

  'I didn't tell Demetrius. He guessed. He saw me and Nick in the garden, with our heads together. He was suspicious. I was so panic-stricken, I could hardly put a coherent sentence together. Demetrius confronted me and I broke down, told him. I don't think I need tell you how he reacted. I thought he was going to kill Nick. I was so convinced of it, I got a message to him straight away and told him to hide somewhere for a few days, which he did. Demetrius tried to find out his whereabouts from his father, who didn't know. Nick wisely vanished and told no one where he was going. Demetrius fired his father and brought me back to England immediately.'

  Grace's heart had gone out to her. Very quietly she asked, 'And the baby?'

  'A short time later, I discovered it was a false alarm. Except that it wasn't. I had conceived, I know I had. My body was different, it had felt different almost immediately.'

  Grace sighed. 'And now? How do you feel about Nick now?'

  'I hate him!'

  'Melissa—'

  'It's true. I mean it, Grace. He's a coward, he only wanted one thing and it took me a long time to realise it; I'm so stupid. I wrote to him when I lived in London with Demetrius. I never got an answer. I assumed my letters hadn't got to him, I suspected his father had intercepted them, but in fact that wasn't the case. Demetrius didn't know about this, of course. Then a few months ago I phoned the house in Athens and eventually—after several calls—I got the maid to take a message to Nick. His family hasn't got a telephone. The maid was difficult to persuade, you can imagine. Eventually she got Nick to the house and I talked to him…'

  'And?'

  'And he didn't want to know. He told me in precisely those words. He'd had my letters and ignored them. He told me to stop pestering him.' She shrugged, bravely, but it was hurting. 'So that's the end of that, and you'll believe there is no danger of my sneaking off to Greece. I'm trying very hard not to feel bitter, but—as I sit here now I feel that I hate Nick.'

  Grace caught hold of her hand again. 'Believe it or not, it will wear off. All of it. You can take my word on that. Thank you for confiding in me. I'm—I feel honoured, really I do. You've got to put it behind you now, all of it. You're very young and you have a good future ahead of you.'

  'I hope so.' Melissa looked at her, with that hope. 'You'll help me persuade Demetrius to let me have my passport, go to Paris?'

  'I will.' Grace did not anticipate any difficulty in that. She was, at that moment, more concerned with her own problem. Demetrius' problem. Their problem.

  By the time she got home that evening, Grace was exhausted, emotionally and physically. Her mind had been whirring all day. When the phone rang just half an hour after she'd got in she was inclined to ignore it, to let Matty answer it and say she wasn't home. Only the prospect of it being Demetrius made her pick it up.

  It was her father again. When he'd said that morning that he would talk to her later, she had assumed he meant later in the week. He was still on cloud nine by the sound of it. Again, Grace had to psyche herself into reacting appropriately when she heard what he'd been up to. He and Phyllis.

  'You'll be pleased to hear I'm coming home this weekend.'

  She wasn't, it meant that privacy with Demetrius would be impossible in either house. But maybe that was a good thing? Not that she had been thinking of… she wasn't at all sure what she was thinking of doing now, since that shocking conversation with Melissa.

  'I'm delighted to hear it, Daddy. I can take it Phyllis will be with you?'

  'Naturally. We're going to have a party on Saturday night.'

  'A party? At the manor?'

  'Aha! I thought that would please you! We're going to celebrate. They're all coming to the manor this weekend, so go out and buy yourself a new dress. My treat.'

  'All?' This weekend? It was more than enough to depress her, coming on top of everything else. What lousy timing! Of all the weekends to choose… But what could she say?

  'Phyllis' family, all of them. She's just phoned me to say her son can make it, Saturday to Sunday at least. I expect she's talking to her daughter right now, she couldn't reach her earlier, but she thinks it'll be all right. It's the Bank Holiday, remember?'

  Grace hadn't remembered. 'So we'll all have Monday off,' her father went on. 'I got hold of Thomas at lunch time, he can make it, too. And there'll be Demetrius and Melissa, of course. We're just having people who are close to us.'

  People who are close to us. Among whom Melissa and Demetrius were included. But… she could no longer be sure she had any kind of relationship with Demetrius, not now. She managed to put a smile in her voice. 'It sounds lovely.'

  'I'm about to ring Desmond and Belle Wakeham, I think we should invite them, don't you?'

  'Yes, I do. Do you want me to plan it with Matty?'

  'I'd like to talk to her myself, she doesn't know what the party's in aid of yet! It will come as quite a shock to her, won't it?'

  Grace's smile was a real one then. Just what planet did her father live on? 'No, Daddy, it won't. People have eyes, you know. Even Matty. Especially Matty. I'll fetch her to the phone. Oh— er—what time will everyone be arriving?'

  'Various. Phyllis and I will get there mid-afternoon, on Friday. I don't know about Sally, her daughter, yet. Thomas will be driving down on Saturday morning, he said. He's going to contact Sally and offer her a lift. Phyllis' son and family will be the last to arrive, Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, he'll have to leave first thing Sunday morning because he's on call for part of the holiday weekend. That's as much as I can tell you.'

  It was enough. Grace's heart was heavy; she was in no mood for a party, but there was no way in the world she would let her father and Phyllis know it. Or anyone else. She would just have to wait for an opportunity to talk to Demetrius—or rather, to listen to him.

  What did he have to say to her? Was he simply going to finish with her or was he going to talk about where they were heading in their relationship? Or rather, where they weren't heading? Where they weren't heading… a dozen times that day, she had recounted the conversation with Melissa. Her shock had been well concealed in front of the girl but—pregnant? How awful for her! Just thinking of Demetrius' reaction to that made Grace shudder.

  Going to bed that night, she was as agitated as she had been the previous night. It had been a long twenty-four hours. So much had happened. Realising she loved Demetrius had brought an immeasurable calm, but it had been short-lived. Very. As for his reaction to her offer—she was at a loss to understand his anger with her. He hadn't phoned this evening, she wondered whether he would ring from Scotland. Oh, what wouldn't she give to know what was going through his mind?

  CHAPTER TEN

  As time passed, infuriatingly slowly, Grace became more and more distracted, more and more nervous. Demetrius phoned her at home on Tuesday morning, which was the day her business was closed, but it was a brief call because he was due in a meeting at any minute. All he asked was whether she was all right, Melissa likewise. Not wishing to detain him, she told him quickly about her father's engagement to Phyllis Radcliffe, and mentioned the party on Saturday. 'They want to celebrate, naturally. He's over the moon by the sound of him.'

  '
I'll look forward to it. That's the nicest news I've had for days. I have to go now, Grace. Take care.' And then he was gone.

  After putting down the phone, she rang Melissa. 'Demetrius just rang, he was in a big hurry and asked me to say hello. How are you?'

  'OK. I hope he gets back quickly, I can't stand the suspense.'

  She couldn't stand it? If only she knew how Grace was feeling! 'Don't worry about it. It'll be fine.' She went on to tell her about Saturday's party, her father's engagement to Phyllis. There wasn't much reaction from her, which was understandable. Her mind was elsewhere. In Paris, for example. Her reaction was merely polite.

  'How lovely for them. I'll be there, of course I will.' There was a momentary pause before she had her brainwave. 'Hey, it's your day off, why don't we go in to Reading, go shopping?'

  Grace jumped at the suggestion. 'Better still, why don't we go into London? We can spend the day there, find something nice for the party, and maybe a few other things! I'll pick you up in fifteen minutes.'

  They drove as far as South Ealing, parked the car and took the Tube into the West End.

  The sun was shining, the shops were crowded and everywhere one turned, foreign voices could be heard. The tourists were there in their thousands. Still, it was good for the economy.

  'What do you think of this?'

  Grace gave up. They were in a boutique off Oxford Street, and it was the tenth time Melissa had asked the question, holding against her some garment or other. This time it was a deep purple dress with yellow dots on it.

  'They'll see you coming in that. Don't ask me. Our taste in clothes is different, to say the least!'

  'You're not being very helpful,' Melissa complained. 'I'll try it on, then give me your opinion. I have to get a few things together, I'm very short of summer clothes.'

  They had a late lunch; by the time they got back to the car in Ealing they were shattered, hot and sticky and loaded with shopping bags. 'You realise,' Melissa said, 'that if Demetrius doesn't say yes to Paris, today will have been a waste of time. I'll be a hermit again and won't need new clothes. In fact, I shall probably kill myself.'

  'Oh, that's even better,' Grace teased, 'then you won't need any clothes at all.'

  'Thank you very much!'

  It had been fun spending the day with Melissa; the energy and enthusiasm she had shown had been contagious. Grace was going to miss her when she went to Paris. She was pleased for her, but she would miss her, for she had grown to love her.

  Neither of them had spoken to Demetrius by the time Wednesday evening rolled around. Grace had Melissa round to dinner in the evening and it was the first question she asked when she arrived.

  'Have you heard from Demetrius?'

  The teenager grinned. 'You've got it bad, haven't you?'

  Horrified, Grace denied it. The thought that her true feelings for Demetrius were showing panicked her. She didn't want anyone to realise how deeply she was in love with him, Melissa or anyone else. And most especially Demetrius himself. 'Don't be so dramatic, that's typical of you. Naturally I'm fond of your brother, I just want to know he's all right, that's all.'

  'Is that a fact? Sorry, the answer's no. He hasn't phoned me today, which is odd.'

  'Precisely my point. He had left a message on the answering machine at work this morning—at God knows what time. I was there at ten past eight.'

  'And what did he say?'

  Grace shrugged, there wasn't much to tell. What little there was, she didn't mind saying. 'Just hello, sorry I'm talking to your machine. I wanted to tell you I will be back on Friday.' No sooner had she relayed the message than the phone rang.

  'That's probably him now,' Melissa said, but Grace was already on her way to the hall to answer it. It was Demetrius.

  'Is Melissa with you? She's not answering the phone.'

  Grace sat down by the telephone table, disappointed by his businesslike attitude. 'Yes, we're just about to eat.'

  'Ah. So she's in good hands. Has she given you any problems?'

  'Not at all. We spent the day in London doing some shopping yesterday and we really enjoyed it. I enjoyed her company, to be more accurate.'

  He grunted. 'I'm sorry, Grace, but I have to dash off again. I'm still trouble-shooting.'

  'Is that what you're doing?'

  'That, and some tricky negotiations. They should be concluded over lunch tomorrow. You got my message this morning? Saying I'd be back on Friday?'

  'Yes. I—what sort of time?'

  'As soon as I can. Probably late afternoon.'

  'Demetrius, I—it's going to be very difficult this weekend, we're going to have a house full of people. The party, you know.' She went on to explain who was coming, and when. When she'd finished, he grunted again.

  'I have to go, I've got a dinner engagement, so listen because I'm only going to say this once. You'll make time, organise it. I told you I want to talk to you and I'm not prepared to wait. I intend to talk to you on Friday night, so detach yourself from your company.'

  Grace was about to protest, but there was little point. It would only annoy him and he was in a hurry. 'Give my love to my sister,' he said hastily, and hung up.

  'It was Demetrius, he sends his love.' She walked back into the drawing-room despondently.

  'Why didn't he ask to talk to me?' Melissa was indignant. 'Is something wrong?'

  'No, no, he was going off to have dinner with someone, business people, I suppose.'

  'What's the matter? You're not worrying in case he's going out with a woman, are you?'

  'No.' The word came strongly enough but— maybe he was? If he was going to finish with her, what was there to stop him?

  They were in the middle of dinner when Melissa remarked on how quiet Grace was, how nervy. She made the excuse of feeling tired, hoping it would convince the younger girl, feeling grateful when she said she wouldn't stay too late. Grace ran her home at nine-thirty, checked that all was OK in the house and went straight back to the manor, to bed.

  She wasn't tired, she was keyed up. She told herself she needed to think, but hadn't she done enough of that? It wasn't getting her anywhere, she was just winding herself up more, thinking, worrying. As for Friday night, she could detach herself from her father and Phyllis, of course, though her father would think it odd in view of her recent protests when he hadn't come home for the weekend. She would explain that she had to be over at the Knights' house because there was something very important they had to discuss. Which was, after all, the truth.

  It was Melissa she was thinking of. There was no way that particular discussion could take precedence over her talking privately with Demetrius. Melissa was almost as wound up as Grace, and she wasn't trying to hide it. 'You'll come round on Friday, won't you?' she'd said earlier. 'As soon as you can get away. We'll talk to Demetrius then. I'll make him one of his favourite meals, get him in a good mood—'

  'Melissa, I… I need to talk to him myself.' That piece of information had been completely misunderstood. Melissa had shaken her head firmly.

  'No, I don't expect you to do it for me, I just want you to support me. We'll all talk.'

  It rained on Thursday. It rained solidly all morning. Grace woke up at five o'clock with the intention of going for a ride—an idea she abandoned when she saw the weather, even though Annabel was in need of some exercise. With Demetrius away there had been no incentive, somehow, to get up and make the effort.

  There was no word from him that day. The next she heard from him was late Friday afternoon, when he called her from home. 'I'm back,' he said without preamble. 'And my sister tells me there's something "absolutely desperate" she wants to talk about.' He sounded weary but vaguely amused. 'She informs me also that you're coming over here tonight, that she can't tell me what it is until you're here. So what's going on?'

  'I'll come over at nine, after dinner. Daddy and Phyllis got here about ten minutes ago and I feel I really must spend a bit of time with them.'

  'Which is a non-answe
r if ever I heard one.'

  'Demetrius, please bear with me. I'll see you at nine.' She hung up before he could say anything else. Silently she said, I love you. I love you and I'm scared.

  Seeing him again came as a shock to her. She had dressed carefully, had made up subtly, put on the perfume he'd admired countless times and had driven round in a state of nervous anxiety so acute she felt she would never be normal again.

  Her heart plummeted when she saw him. He and Melissa were in the kitchen, tidying up. Demetrius was just setting the dishwasher going when Grace let herself in the back door, and he straightened, his eyes narrowing slightly as she walked in. He seemed to be looking at her suspiciously, probing her eyes intently, and she couldn't understand why. He did not appear to experience any pleasure in seeing her.

  She, on the other hand, felt her heart leap painfully in her breast. It was all she could do to stop herself running to him, her desire to throw her arms around him was almost irresistible. He was wearing trousers and a white shirt, unbuttoned at the neck, the sleeves rolled up. Her eyes took in everything about him swiftly, the hard muscles of his forearms, the tanned column of his throat, the place where the hair on his chest was visible. And his face, beloved, strong, handsome, so very familiar to her in all its details, all its moods… yet it felt as though she hadn't set eyes on that face for years.

  It wasn't easy to make her greeting casual, but somehow she managed. 'Hi, how was your trip?'

  He was still looking at her oddly. 'Fine. Tiring but successful, thanks. So,' he added, turning to his sister, smiling finally, 'since you insisted on changing my plans tonight, both of you, let's make ourselves comfortable in the sitting-room and discuss this world-shattering event, whatever it is.'

  It took some time. Actually, the response Melissa had hoped for took only a few minutes; not only was Demetrius in agreement with her plans, he was obviously genuinely pleased and as co-operative as he could be. There was only one awkward moment, right at the start, as soon as she mentioned that the course was in Paris.