“You want to have your cake and fuck all the others as well?” Xander said, his eyes sending daggers into the model’s back as she walked away.
“Don’t be a prick, Xander.” Logan turned to his barely touched drinks.
“What else can I be when I’m trying to make you see sense?”
“I don’t need to see sense. I know, alright?” He grew angry. “I know.”
He knew how special Min was. How he felt when he was with her.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do?”
“You’re not going to quit, are you?” Xander stared at him. “You wouldn’t quit on this?”
Logan swivelled on his stool to face his cousin. “Is that what you think I do, Xan? Am I a quitter?”
Xander said nothing.
Logan stared at him. Is that what they all thought he did? Just gave up when it wasn’t working his way?
But he’d wanted out of skiing—out of that relentless cold, punishing schedule. He’d never loved it the way they’d all thought he had. He’d wanted away from Summerhill. Away from his father.
Because he’d wanted to explore other things. His own interests. His own dreams.
But giving up on Min?
“I think she’s the perfect woman for you,” Hunter said thoughtfully, from behind him. “She’s hot but she’s also discrete. She blew off Rex’s ex beautifully at the engagement party, can do the frigid bitch look real well”
“Hunter,” Logan said warningly. He uncurled his fingers from the fists they’d clamped into.
“I’m just saying she comes across as being able to handle your lifestyle.”
And what kind of lifestyle was that?
The new-woman-a-night kind? He didn’t want any woman but Min. That’s what he needed to tell her.
But he needed to tell her the rest of it first. He needed her to understand, because he realized now just how right she was. He needed her to know why.
He sighed and picked up his drinks, depositing one each in front of his two buddies. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. Good cop, freaking bad cop.”
Xander and Hunter exchanged looks over his head.
“And don’t think I’m too dumb to figure out what I should do.” He had to go talk to her. He had to convince her. Had to try.
“Well, you had us wondering, man.” Xander slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s taken you long enough.”
“Yeah, why are you still here?” Hunter stared at him.
Logan looked at them. The guys had seen him through thick and thin. Logan had spent months away at a time when he’d been on the circuit, but these guys had always been there for him when he’d gotten back. Together with Rocco and Connor. He didn’t want to let them down either.
He walked out of the hotel and hailed a taxi. In the car he felt hot, then cold. Stupid nerves. Worse than when waiting for the signal at the starting gate.
But when he got to her apartment, there were no lights on. She didn’t answer when he rang her buzzer. Didn’t answer when he rang her phone.
For a moment he just stood blankly on the sidewalk. It hadn’t occurred to him that she wouldn’t be there. He had no freaking clue where she would be. Not with her mom, he knew that. So where then?
He thumbed the screen of his phone. He was gonna need more help than he’d realized.
“Hunter,” he said as soon as his buddy answered. “I need your help.”
“Anything.”
“Finding Min. She’s not at her apartment.”
“Oh. Hmmm. She isn’t?”
It wasn’t like Hunter to prevaricate.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Logan demanded.
“I’m not allowed to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“Let me put Xander on.”
“Xan?”
“Logan.”
Logan could hear Xander’s smile as he spoke.
“You’re looking for Min?” Xander asked.
“You know I am, dumb-ass. Where is she?”
“Why didn’t you ask sooner, she’s staying at Rocco’s hotel.”
“What? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? We were just there.”
“Figured you needed to sweat it a little more.”
“You bastard—”
“Plus,” Hunter interrupted smoothly, clearly having wrestled the phone from Xander. “It meant we knew where she was and that she was safe. Until you finally came to your senses.”
“Hmmm.”
“You’re welcome.”
“See you so—”
“Logan?” Hunter said, stopping him from ending the call.
“What?”
“I have that diamond ring you gave her. She wanted me to give it back to you.”
Yeah so now he felt extra crap. That damn diamond. He’d just tossed it at her. She’d had to put it on her own finger. And she’d not liked it. It was a cookie-cutter ring—a stereotypical, flashy number that he’d picked for the look of things. To keep up the appearances. All the money, no emotion behind it.
He really was as bad as his father.
Well not anymore. Never, ever again.
Chapter Thirty
#SpecialDelivery
“Room service.”
Min frowned as she heard the housemaid call through the door. She hadn’t ordered anything but she opened the door anyway. Then was glad she was still holding it, because she needed to lean against the solid wood.
He took advantage of her jello-leg moment to walk right in.
“L-l-Logan,” she swallowed. Whispered. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. Sorry. I figured if I called out, you mightn’t let me in. So I got the housemaid to help out.” He glanced at the pack of caramel cashew ice-cream he had in his hand. “You hungry?”
She shook her head and glanced out the door, before closing it. The housemaid was already at the other end of the corridor.
Slowly Min turned to face him.
“I checked the records and you haven’t been out all day, haven’t ordered in any food,” he said. “You’ve gotta be hungry.”
He was here to ensure she wasn’t starving? She so didn’t want the brotherly concern. She hugged her arms to her chest and crossed to the other side of the room. “Did Hunter tell you I was here?”
“Xander. Hunter likes to keep his promises.” He put the ice-cream on the table between them. “He did give me the diamond, though.”
“Oh,” she swallowed. “Good.”
“Not good, Min. You should keep it.”
She shook her head. “I could n-n-never...”
To end up with a collection of diamonds from unsuccessful engagements? Worse, to have a permanent reminder of her time with him? The scar on her heart was going to be enough.
He looked at her, seeming to be waiting. For what? For her to fall at his feet or something? It was too unfair of him to turn up looking like that, like he was hurting.
Like he was missing her.
Or maybe that was wishful thinking because her heart was so battered.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
He looked thinner. He looked tired. He looked unhappy.
But that wasn’t her problem. Too late she tried to steel herself. He didn’t want anything to do with her anymore, right? He couldn’t have made it clearer. He’d cut her from his life. He hadn’t been interested in anything other than their silly game. He hadn’t wanted to know when she’d tried to challenge him.
“You mind if I sit?” he asked.
She shook her head, watching as he ran his hands down his thighs and took a space on the sofa.
She perched on the edge of one of the two dining chairs. She had to keep her distance.
“Something up with your apartment?” he asked.
“Hunter... insisted. While that construction work was happening.” And it had been cold. And she hadn’t been able to face arguing with him. Or Rocco. Or Xand
er. Or Chelsea.
She’d figured she’d stay here for just a couple nights, then skip town altogether.
He glanced about the room. “But you’re not working?”
“I’ve lost two clients this week,” she shrugged. “I d-don’t have that much work to do.”
He frowned. “I didn’t mean for this whole thing to have such damaging consequences.”
Did he mean her heart? Or her business? “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“Where’s Dani?” Min desperately changed the subject.
“You’ve not seen her?” he asked.
Min shook her head.
“She’s here... with Rocco. She’s staying with him.”
Min stared at him, trying to process exactly what he meant. “Really?”
He nodded.
“And that’s okay?”
“I hope so.” He looked serious.
“Why are you here?” she asked, she couldn’t take this anymore. “If it’s misplaced g-guilt or something, you don’t need to worry. I’m fine. It’s all okay...”
“It’s not okay,” he suddenly stood and walked to the window. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Sure,” she whispered.
When he stood with his back to the light like that, she could hardly see his face. Maybe that was a good thing. She could keep her heart hard.
“That girl I told you about. The one I had the affair with.”
“Mmm hmmm?” She really wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this.
But Logan sounded strained. His stance as tense as it had been that day he’d come back to Summerhill after being out all night. The day they’d finally come together.
“I didn’t tell you everything.” He paused. “I’ve only told one other person absolutely everything. Connor.” He broke off and cleared his throat. “When she finally told her boyfriend, Carl, about me. She also told him, and me, that she was pregnant.”
Min’s head spun, she was glad she was seated. “Yours?” She pressed her hand to her heart. But that woman had gone back to the other guy, hadn’t she?
“I don’t know. I’ll probably never know. She said she didn’t know. But I…” he trailed off, walked to the other end of the room, shoving his hands deep in his jeans pockets. His shoulders slumped.
“But it’s possible,” Min whispered.
“She said the biology didn’t matter. It was Carl’s baby.” He turned and looked across the room at her. “Not mine.”
But that was so unfair. And she could see the conflict in Logan’s eyes.
“What did she have?” Min asked.
“A little boy.”
“You ever ask for a paternity test?”
“How could I?” he asked, his voice roughened. “They’d gotten together again well before he arrived. He’s just a little kid. They’re all happy.”
But Logan had thought about it. Because Logan missed out. And what if that child was his son? At some point, wouldn’t that boy have a right to know who his father was?
Who got to make that call?
Min’s heart just broke. He met her eyes for a half second, and she saw it. The hurt. That loss.
“When she told me she was pregnant, I told her that if she ever needed anything... if she wanted me involved or money or any kind of help, I’d step up. That I’d be there for the baby no matter what.” He looked to the ground. “So far she’s never called.”
But he’d wanted to help. He’d still help. Min knew that. Logan, for all the brash arrogance and playboy theatrics, was the kind of guy who cared.
“Do you think she knows who the father is?”
“I don’t know. All I can do is be there if she ever asks me.” He looked up at her. “But she’s never going to ask. She never wants me to be a father to her kid.” He rolled his shoulders back. “And I didn’t want to be a father anyway, right? Not like my own. Distant and demanding. Impossible to please.”
But Logan wouldn’t be distant and demanding. He’d be fun and loving and adventurous.
And he was loyal, honorable.
That woman had broken his heart. Not by picking another guy, but because she hadn’t given him the chance to be the man he could be. She’d just taken any right of responsibility away from him.
She hadn’t believed in him. And he’d believed what she said.
That wasn’t fair. “Logan—”
“She said that I was the guy a girl screwed, the guy for the wild fling, but Carl was the guy a girl married.” He looked at her again. “And she’s right. You think she’s right.”
Min shook her head. “No—”
“I heard you,” he interrupted, his voice rising. “Talking to your mom. You don’t want to have a string of failed relationships. You think being with me would end in failure. You don’t think I’d be faithful.”
She froze. “You heard m-m-me?”
“You would never marry a guy like me.” Vehemently, angrily, he snapped her words back at her.
She stared at him, appalled that he’d overheard her the one time she’d really stood up to her mom. More harshly than she’d ever needed to. She’d been pushed to it. Because she’d felt so hurt.
But he’d heard her. And then he’d pushed her away. He’d shut down, shut her out.
“I would never marry you, only b-b-because you don’t love me,” she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears. He hadn’t fought for her. “You said you loved...”
“This. The other night... I said I loved this.”
“Sex.” Her throat was so tight she all but mouthed the word.
“No.” He crossed the floor. “We made love. I was making love to you.”
She shook her head.
But he was on his knees in front of her. He grasped her hands, covering the fists she was pressing into her thighs. He looked up into her face, his expression raw.
“I was scared Min. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Never been so... unsure.”
Unsure?
His mouth twisted and his grip tightened. “You said I didn’t have faith in myself and you were right. But the last couple days I’ve had plenty of time to think and I realized something. I learned a bit about myself by being with you. I do have control. I do have strength. I do care about something—someone—more than I care about myself. I care about you.”
“You’ve always cared about others more than yourself—Connor, Dani, Rocco... all those guys.”
He shook his head. “This is different. It’s always been different. And the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I understood how special... and the more scared I became. But these last few days? I realized I could have faith in us, Min. We could be something. We are something.”
“What are w-w-we?”
“Perfect for each other. You don’t take my crap, I don’t let you hide... we laugh together. And we can sure as hell love.”
A tear rolled down her cheek but she couldn’t brush it away because her fists were still locked in his. And he wasn’t letting her go.
“I love you Min.” He gazed up at her, the ice in his eyes alight. “I’m not gonna be a coward. Not going to turn away and never look back. It took me years to break free and follow my own heart. I’m not wasting time like that again. Not letting the best thing to walk into my life leave. Not without a fight. Take a chance on me, Min. Learn to trust me.”
“I -d-do,” she whispered.
His eyes widened.
He had such little faith?
“You kept your word,” she breathed. “You didn’t do what you could have done so easily and so many times, because you’d made the promise that you wouldn’t. When you decide something, that’s it... its done. That can be good sometimes. And sometimes not so good. But if you promise me that you’ll be faithful, I’ll believe you.”
Because she knew how strong he was. To stand up to his father all those years ago—to walk away from the world he’d been raised to compete in? To cope with his own mistakes and
keep smiling? Oh yeah, she knew he was strong. He was the only one who’d needed to realize it.
“So you have faith in me?” he muttered.
“I think you’ll do anything you set your mind to,” she whispered. “And I think your heart is in the right place.”
His blue eyes burned into her.
“My heart is in your hands.” His voice was hoarse, as uneven as hers. “I’ve slept with other women. You know that. I’ve slept with a lot of other women and I can’t go back and change that. But I’m not the man I was with them. I never made love to them. Never wanted to. Never given any of them what I want to give you. Everything, Min. I only want one woman. I only want you.”
He let go of her hand and dug into his pocket. “Let’s grow old. Have kids... have fun...”
The diamond sat in the palm of his hand where it still managed to sparkle blindingly.
She smiled, it was like an old friend.
He took her hand and slid the ring down her finger. Not her left hand, but her right. “This isn’t an engagement ring anymore, this is just a flashy piece to satisfy the paparazzi. Because I’ve got something else in mind now.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t want us to get engaged again,” he explained. “I just want us to be married. One day we’ll just do it, okay? We’ll just get up and do it.” He blew out a breath. “Of course, I want to do that today, but you’ll say I’m being reckless and that it’s too soon. So, I’m going to demonstrate my patience. Again.” He smiled that twisted, rueful, beautiful smile. “What do you say, Min? You know I’m ready to beg if you want me to.”
“I don’t want you to beg,” she said, her tears falling faster. “I just want you to love me.”
“I do. I do.” He rose and swept her into his arms, pulling her so close against him.
She curled her arms around his neck and lifted her face. She needed to kiss him. Touch him. Feel him.
“Logan,” she cried. She’d missed him so much. Loved him so much.
They fell onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and hot need. They pushed clothes away only enough to get close. For him to get inside.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he breathed as he kissed her. As he entered her.
“You c-c-cut me off.” It had hurt.
“I know.” He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “I honestly thought you’d be unhappy with me... So sorry. Never again.”
Beg for Me Page 32