She looked at the couch where he’d opened up to her, the kitchen where they’d cooked dinner, to the bed just beyond, where they’d made love. She should be filled to the hilt with those warm memories, but as she bent to pick up Fifi and smelled Heath’s cologne on her fur, she missed Heath too much to feel anything other than lonely.
Chapter Twelve
THURSDAY EVENING HEATH pushed open the doors of NightCaps and took a quick visual sweep of the crowd, searching for his brothers. His eyes landed on his buddy Dylan Bad, the owner of NightCaps, standing behind the bar. Dylan waved, and Heath made his way toward him.
Dylan’s dark eyes widened with his friendly smile. “Haven’t seen you around much, Heath. How’s it going?”
“Great, thanks. How’re things with you? How’re your brothers?” Like Heath, Dylan had three brothers. The Bads and the Wilds had grown up together, and they’d lived up to their names, spending their youths getting into mischief, although Heath had always been a little more careful than the rest of them. As the eldest, Heath had felt a responsibility toward keeping his younger siblings safe, and he’d taken that responsibility very seriously.
He nodded toward a table in the corner, where Mick Bad, Dylan’s eldest brother, sat with Logan, Jackson, and Cooper.
“The Bads and the Wilds, at it again.” Dylan laughed. He slid a bottle of beer across the bar to Heath. “Logan said you’ve got a girlfriend now.”
Leave it to Logan to apply a little indirect pressure. Ever since he’d fallen in love with Stormy, who used to work at Dylan’s bar, he’d been singing the praises of love and monogamy.
“Logan’s right, although I’m not sure why he’s talking about my personal life.” Heath sipped his beer to hide the grin spreading across his lips from thinking about Ally.
“Cut him a break. He just said that you might blow them off to spend time with her.” Dylan took the towel that had been hanging over his shoulder and wiped down the bar. He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “I wouldn’t blame you. Spend time with a babe, or spend time with that crew? Easy choice in my eyes.”
Heath laughed. “Thanks for the brew. Good to catch up.” He crossed the crowded floor, weaving around tables and clusters of people and heading toward the sound of his brothers’ laughter.
Logan turned just as Heath noticed Amanda, Ally’s sister, sitting at a nearby booth with a guy who was wearing a suit and sitting pin straight, like he was on a job interview. Heath stopped midstride and looked around for Ally.
“Hey, bro. What’s up? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Logan pushed a chair out from the table with his foot. “Have a seat.”
Heath shook off his surprise and sucked back his beer as he lowered himself onto the chair. Questions ricocheted through his mind, the most prominent being, Where is Ally? She’d said she was going out with her sister. Heath pulled out his cell to check the last few texts from her.
“Jackson and Coop were just telling us about that upcoming photo shoot for Sage Remington, that sculptor you like. Stormy wants to go, so I’m sure we’ll rearrange our schedules to go. Why don’t you and your girlfriend join us?”
Sage Remington was Heath’s favorite sculptor. Normally he’d be all over this opportunity, but he was too sidetracked over Ally to respond.
“I guess the zoo worked out for you, then?” Jackson asked.
“Zoo? What have I missed this week?” Cooper, their youngest brother, leaned across the table and eyed Heath. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were open. Cooper’s tie hung loosely around his neck, and the new beard he’d been sporting lately gave him a swarthy look.
Heath let his brothers bounce their questions around for a while and quickly scanned his texts from Ally. None of them mentioned her plans for tonight. Of course they didn’t. That would have been difficult to fit in between I can’t wait to get my hands on you again and Wear your favorite tie next time I see you. He hadn’t even thought to ask her about her plans again. He was tempted to call her, but he didn’t want to look like a jealous asshole. Nor did he want to feel like one. But much to his dismay, he had the jealous part down pat.
“Cut him some slack. You guys are worse than my brothers.” Mick lifted his beer and winked at Heath.
“Heath going out on a real date is newsworthy. I want to hear the zoo story.” Cooper narrowed his midnight-blue eyes and leaned back in his chair. “Spill your guts, bro, or I for one will hassle you all night long.” He said all night long really slowly, a sly smile spreading across his face.
Heath wanted to call Ally, or at least text her, without the pressure of his brothers hanging over his shoulder. He knew there had to be a reasonable explanation for her not being out with her sister tonight, but that didn’t stop his gut from churning. He shoved his phone in his pocket rather than try to iron things out right this second. He eyed Amanda and then turned his attention back to his brothers.
“You want the scoop?” he asked Cooper.
“Heck, yeah,” Cooper said. “Jackson and I shot a lingerie commercial at the zoo once. Remember that, Jackson? That was some freaky shit. We hooked up with the models afterward.”
“That was some freaky shit,” Jackson said with a smirk.
“Well, there wasn’t any freaky shit to speak of on our date. We walked around the zoo at night. End of story.” He sucked back his beer, unable to resist texting Ally. He was about to pull out his phone when Logan drew his brows together and leaned closer.
“Something wrong?” Logan asked.
Heath shook his head. “Nope.”
“I told you,” Logan said. “Give me a little background info and I can have everything you want to know in ten minutes.”
“I’m good. Thanks.” He trusted Ally, didn’t he?
Yes, I trust her. I trust her completely.
That didn’t stop his gut from twisting into a knot. He’d believed that the reason he didn’t want a relationship was because women were too clingy and because he didn’t want to get hurt. But what he’d forgotten was what it felt like to worry about being hurt. How could he turn off this awful feeling?
He pulled out his phone and sent Ally a text. Miss you and wish you were here.
“Texting zoo girl?” Cooper asked. “What’s her name, anyway?”
“Allyson Jenner. She goes by Ally.” Just saying her name made him feel better.
“Ally, nice name. So where is she tonight?” Jackson asked. “You could have brought her along.”
“Allyson Jenner? Amanda Jenner’s sister? Sexy as hell, dark hair?” Mick asked.
Heath felt his shoulders rise with tension. “That would be her.”
“Her sister, Amanda, is our paralegal. She’s on a date with some guy from our building. That’s why I’m here. When she told me she was going out on her first date with him, I thought I’d keep an eye on her. She’s a sweet girl, and you know how we lawyers are.” He winked again, then nodded in Amanda’s direction.
“Aw, how cute,” Cooper said. “Mick is playing chaperone for his paralegal.”
Heath’s phone vibrated. Logan didn’t miss a thing. His head snapped around as Heath read the text from Ally. Me too. Miss you. My sister blew me off.
“Ha-ha.” Mick shook his head. “With guys like you roaming the streets, women have to be careful.”
Jackson laughed. “Coop’s harmless.”
“Does that smile mean things are okay?” Logan asked Heath.
“No. It means I’m an asshole.” He texted Ally. She’s at NightCaps with some guy. I’m here with my brothers. Want to meet us?
“Why are you an asshole?” Logan asked.
Heath was thirty-four years old and telling his younger brother that he’d been nervous about something that he had no business being nervous about was like eating crow. No thank you.
“Where’s Stormy tonight?” Heath asked in an effort to change the subject.
“She and a girlfriend went out to dinner,” Logan answered.
“I can’t imagi
ne how good it must feel for her not to have to hide anymore, after hiding from that crazy ex-boyfriend for so long,” Heath said.
“It’s like night and day, but I forgot what it was like to care about someone enough to get jealous.” Logan took a long swig of his beer.
“That’s why it’s better to play the field,” Jackson said. “No ties, no worries.”
“Wait, you’re jealous?” Heath could hardly believe that Logan, the guy who’d had a hard time feeling anything but guilt after coming back from war, had fallen in love, much less was jealous.
“Hell yes. You’ve seen Stormy.” Logan smirked. “She’s fucking hot as hell.”
“I want to photograph her, but jealous boy won’t let me,” Cooper said. “Jackson and I could get her a gig modeling. I’m sure of it. But Logan’s too possessive.”
“True,” Jackson agreed.
“But you trust her,” Heath said.
“Hell yes, I trust her. What does that have to do with anything?” Logan looked at the vibrating cell phone in Heath’s hand. “Is that why you look like you’ve got a crowbar up your ass? You’re jealous over Ally?”
“Shit.” Heath shook his head, though he knew by the laughter around the table that his brothers and Mick saw right through him. “Okay, fine. Yes, okay? What the hell do you want from me?”
Logan patted him on the back. “I told you, bro. Forget everything you thought you knew about yourself, because when love comes knockin’, you got no choice but to be home.”
“Two brothers fallen, Jackson. Here’s to remaining single.” Cooper held his beer bottle up, and Jackson tapped it with his. “Mick?”
Mick’s eyes were locked on Amanda and her date. “Huh? Sorry.”
“I think Ally’s sister has an admirer,” Logan said to Heath.
Heath arched a brow at Mick, who shook his head and said, “She works for me.”
“So?” all four Wild brothers said at once.
“On that note, I think I’ll go grab another beer from Dylan.” Mick looked around the table. “Anyone else want one?”
Cooper nudged Jackson. “Check out the two blondes at the bar.” He and Jackson joined Mick, leaving Logan and Heath alone.
Heath read Ally’s text.
I don’t want to spoil your fun. I’m reading one of the journals you gave me.
It was just like her to put him first.
“Tell her to meet us,” Logan said.
“You read my text message?”
“No. I read the look on your face. Heath, being jealous is totally normal. Missing her is normal. If you’re like me, you’re sitting here trying to have a good time when you really want to be with her. Don’t you think I would rather be with Stormy every minute of the day?”
Heath shrugged. “I assume you would, but what do I know?”
“You know more than you think you do.”
“Logan.” Heath scrubbed his hand down his face in frustration. “Ally has become everything to me way too fast. I think about her when I wake up. I want to be with her the minute I leave work, and the messed-up part is that I trust her explicitly, when the way we met should totally nix that idea from the get-go.”
“One-night stand?”
One quick nod gave Logan his answer.
“Big shit. Stormy and I started off with hate sex.”
“Hate sex? What does that mean?” Heath asked.
“Sex to escape all the stuff in life that you hate. You know, get it out of your system.” Logan wrinkled his brow. “Okay, so you probably don’t know hate sex. That’s not really your thing, but that’s how we started. So what? Would it have been better if we’d started on a blind date? Would I love her more? Trust her more? Care for her more? Hell no. Life isn’t neat. Why should relationships be?”
“That’s just it,” Heath admitted. “I don’t think I could care for her more than I do, and then the next day comes, and that feeling just gets bigger. Now I’m sitting here itching to see her, and I’ve become the clingy bitch I avoided all these years.”
Logan’s blue eyes twinkled with a brotherly taunt. “Shit, look at you. Man, don’t tell Coop and Jackson that. They’ll eat you alive. But I get it.” He lowered his voice. “Don’t you think I’m wondering how many guys are checking out Stormy right now? Even though I know she’s coming home to me, my gut’s on fire.”
“Join the club.” Heath inhaled a deep breath and blew it out fast. “Listen, tell Thing One and Thing Two I’ll see them at Mom’s Sunday, and tell Mick goodbye. I’m going to take off. You’re a bigger man than me, bro. I can’t sit here wanting to be with her for another second when my legs work just fine.” He patted his brother’s shoulder as he stood to leave. “Thanks, Logan. I needed to hear every word you just said.”
“Who would have thought you’d learn a lesson from your younger brother?”
“Logan, you’ve taught me more about bravery and loyalty in the last few years than anyone else ever could.” He tipped his chin as a way of saying goodbye and thank you, and headed for his woman.
Chapter Thirteen
ALLY PEERED THROUGH the peephole of her apartment door and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of Heath pacing the hallway. Before pulling the door open, she allowed herself an extra second to gawk. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were trained on the ground, as if he were mulling something over or was annoyed. He rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. She wondered if something had happened with his brothers. It had been a while since she’d texted him about not meeting him at NightCaps.
She opened the door, and the second he lifted his eyes, all that tension seemed to melt from his body and float away. His full, beautiful lips curved up, and his gaze softened as he reached for her. There was a tingling in the pit of her stomach as one arm circled her waist while the other wrapped around her back and pulled her against him.
“You’re supposed to be out with your brothers.”
“I missed you too much to stay away a second longer.” The emotion emanating off of him was different from the fierce sexuality she was used to. The way he was looking at her spoke of the bond she felt forming between them.
Ally couldn’t deny the thundering of her heart at the realization that he had to be falling for her just as hard as she was falling for him. Fear tiptoed through her at the thought. As his lips met hers, her body filled with a light, dreamy emotion that made her feel warm and wonderful all over and swept that fear away. Everything Heath did and said made her feel and think in ways that were new and immensely meaningful and real.
She closed her eyes and reveled in the warmth of his lips brushing over her cheek and his breath whispering over her skin.
“I just had to be with you. We don’t have to make love. I just need the closeness.”
Ally didn’t even try to speak. She knew her voice wouldn’t come. Instead, she took his hand and led him into the apartment. She hadn’t ever spent the night with a man in this apartment, and the thought of doing so with Heath thrilled and terrified her.
He ran his hands over the curve of her hips, his gaze never leaving hers, and the air around them pulsed with too many emotions to decipher.
“I want to stay,” he whispered.
“I’m afraid.” As soon as the words left her lips she regretted them.
“Of?” He didn’t loosen his grip or step back. His eyes filled with empathy, and that drew her further in.
“Falling for you.”
His hands came up and warmed her cheeks. “Honesty will get you everywhere.” He kissed her forehead. “Do you not want to fall for me?”
“It’s not that. I can’t help myself from falling for you, but this is so fast. We’ve talked about this.” She nibbled on her lower lip, wondering why she was pushing away the only man she’d ever felt this much for. He was a good man, an honest man, a man she wanted to wake up next to.
A sweet, easy smile stretched across his face as he dropped his hands back down to her waist. “How about if I don’t let you fal
l for me?”
She pressed her forehead to his chest. “Everything you do makes me fall harder. Just the way you’re looking at me makes my heart go crazy.” She gazed up at him and he was still smiling, which made her heart squeeze even more. “We shouldn’t spend the night together.”
There. She’d said it.
She felt horrible and immediately wished she hadn’t said it. But for some stupid reason, she needed to be one hundred percent sure that she was ready to take this step before finding herself in Heath’s arms in the morning.
“Because you’re afraid of falling for me?” His eyes grew serious.
She nodded, knowing that if she agreed aloud, it would feel wrong, too.
He drew her in closer and pressed his hand to the back of her head. She felt his heart beating against her cheek. He felt so good, so safe. So loving. She was too emotional to separate how right he felt from the fear that had tiptoed back in.
“Okay.” He drew back and inhaled a long, even breath, then pulled his shoulders back. His brows knitted together as he readied himself for something.
Her insides twisted into a tight knot. “Okay?”
“I’m not going to push you into something you’re not ready for. I want to be with you. I’m ready, and I don’t care how fast it is, but that doesn’t mean you have to be on the same page with me. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.” He caressed her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. “I’ll take what time I can get until you realize that this is the real thing.”
“I don’t know that I’m not ready to wake up in your arms. I just don’t know if I am ready.” She turned away and shook her head. “I sound ridiculous.”
He pulled her into his arms again, and his smile warmed her. “You’re not ridiculous. You’re careful. I appreciate that, because I don’t know how to slow down this bullet train, and I’m not sure I want to. So it’s probably good that you’re careful.”
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