I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down on the bed. “Would you keep your voice down? Damn, Jenna!”
“Sorry. How am I supposed to react to some crazy ass crap like that? Please tell me you laughed when he asked, before you said no.”
“No. Not exactly.”
“Are you insane? You’ve been going out with him for less than a month.”
“Can’t you just be supportive?”
“I am supportive of everything you do. But this is insane! How can you even be considering marriage? You’re a senior in high school and you want to go to college. Remember?” She got up and paced back and forth across the length of my room.
“Will you please calm down? I am still going to college,” I explained.
“There is no way in hell that your parents are ever going to allow this. You realize that, don’t you? Even if you decide to do this anyway, there’s no way they’re going to pay for your education if you get married.” Her arms were wailing about for emphasis and dramatization.
“We haven’t worked out all the details yet, but I believe we are going to Boston University.”
“Boston? Are you serious? Did you even apply there?” she confronted me.
“No. But I am this week. Jackson’s already been accepted,” I tried to explain rationally.
Jenna returned to pacing again with a discontented expression across her face. “Good for him.” She stood facing me with her hands on her hips. “Please. Tell me you aren’t seriously considering this?”
Her face went void of expression. “Oh God, why? You’re eighteen! You have your entire life ahead of you! Why would you even consider marriage to a guy you barely know? Think of all the people you’re going to meet in college? And what about grad school?” She sat back down beside me. “Why would you want to throw everything away for a guy you’ve known a few weeks? It makes no sense, Jocelyn.”
“Haven’t you and Kyle ever talked about getting married?”
“Yeah. After we graduate from college, not before. We both want to enjoy school, grow up a little.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You know. Mature a little. We’re both eighteen and at least we realize that there’s a good chance our relationship may not survive four years apart at different universities.”
I wanted so badly to tell her that Jackson was almost twenty-two and already completed his undergrad degree. But that was something else I couldn’t explain since he was currently impersonating a high school senior to get close to me here in 2009. This was all getting too complicated.
“Jenna, please. Can’t you just be happy for me?” I sank back on my bed. I knew she was going to be shocked, but I hadn’t expected her to react like this.
“I’m sorry, but I think this is a really big mistake, Jocelyn. Don’t get me wrong, I really like Jackson. He’s a great guy, but you’re both too young and haven’t known each other long enough to even be thinking about marriage.” She shook her head in disbelief.
I was sorry I’d told her. Perhaps it would be best if Jackson and I eloped and didn’t tell anyone about it but his family. At least they were not only supportive, but actually excited about the idea of us getting married.
I got up and walked over to the closet for my jacket. “All right. If that’s how you feel, then I’m sorry. But I have to live my own life and Jackson makes me very happy. I love him, Jenna.”
“I’m glad he makes you happy. We can all see that he does, but you haven’t known him long enough to say you love him.” She lowered her voice and stood up. “Don’t do this, Jocelyn. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you do. Maybe not right away, but what if you get pregnant and have to drop out of school? All your dreams will be gone. Everything you ever wanted to do with your life will disappear and you will hate yourself and resent him for killing your dreams.”
I felt tears burning up behind my eyes and I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. I couldn’t believe she had to say such horrible things even though I had thought of them myself. Marriage wasn’t something I was considering lightly. How could she believe it was?
“I have to go and you need to study.” I walked over to my door and opened it. “I’ll see you later.” I headed down the stairs with Jenna running behind me.
“Jocelyn! Wait!” she hollered after me, but I took off out the front door and ran across the yard towards Jackson’s.
By the time I reached his front door and knocked loudly on it, Jenna was standing in the street between the houses still hollering my name. I ignored her and opened his door myself and walked in. Emily came around the corner to answer the door only to discover me standing in their foyer in tears.
She hurried over and put her arms around me at once. “Jocelyn, honey. What is wrong?” I wrapped my arms around her sobbing.
“I cannot believe she reacted so badly. All I wanted was for her to be happy and excited for me,” I choked out.
Robert and Jackson walked around the corner to investigate all the commotion. They both looked concerned to see me in such a state, but lingered back a little letting Emily try and calm me down. I went on to recount the conversation between Jenna and I while the three of them listened attentively.
The four of us retreated to the front room and gathered around the roaring fire. I sat down on the couch beside Jackson, who immediately placed his arm protectively around me. I felt so much better just being in their presence. It was so natural, like coming home. This, I knew, was where I truly belonged. This family, who was going to be with me wherever I traveled.
“I am so sorry Jenna reacted the way she did, Jocelyn.” Robert smiled at me sympathetically from across the room on the loveseat beside his wife.
My sadness over her reaction was slowly turning to anger. “I’m more upset about how she could think that marriage is something I would consider entering into so lightly. I mean, it’s not like I can tell her the whole truth but still, I wanted her to be happy for me. I knew she’d never understand the way I feel about you.” I looked over at Jackson who gently tightened his grip around me. “I know she’s never felt this way before, even for Kyle.”
“You were afraid people were going to react poorly when you two made the official announcement.” Emily’s face looked forlorn.
“But she’s my best friend. I honestly thought she’d be excited about this. Instead, she was furious. Like I was throwing my life away over a school girl crush or something.”
“So, is it safe to say that you two have agreed to get married over the summer?” Robert inquired with obvious apprehension.
I smiled over at Jackson who looked at me lovingly. “Yes. I believe so,” I replied with confidence.
“Of course, I haven’t officially proposed yet. But that will be soon,” he smirked. “I believe that we should probably wait until spring break to make the announcement though.”
“Spring break? That does not give us any time to plan a proper wedding,” Emily complained.
“I am not saying I do not want you and Jocelyn to go ahead and start making plans, just don’t mention them to anyone until spring break.” A coy grin spread across his shapely lips.
“Fair enough.” Emily seemed satisfied with that condition. “We will have to get started soon, Jocelyn. We can sit down with some magazines and planners and decide what you two would like.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
“I know it’s customary for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding. I do have a college fund set up by my parents, but I’m honestly not sure if they’re going to let me use it if I get married. I’m not sure what my parents are going to say, but I can guarantee they will not take this well. My dad found the engraving on the watch and freaked over that. He already thinks we’re getting too serious.”
Robert let out a small chuckle. “Jocelyn, Emily and I honestly expected this type of reaction when we were still in Boston. At that time, we decided to put away some money for the wedding and your college education.”
I start
ed to object, but Robert put up his hand to silence me. “I know it is not customary, but the groom is our son and we want you both to have everything you want to make the day extraordinary. And as far as your education, we have watched you thrive here academically and we know how important continuing your education is to you and that is something we would never deny you. Especially after watching you sneak around for years there in order to read and learn things that Patrick has forbidden you.”
I was shocked and speechless. This was entirely unexpected. “I sincerely appreciate the gesture, but I cannot ask so much of you. College is entirely too expensive to put that type of burden on your family.”
“It is no burden, Jocelyn. Honestly, my husband is a very successful attorney and I have been blessed in my success as a novelist. We are very comfortable and if we cannot use our success to care for our loved ones, then what good is it?”
Emily gave me a look that made me feel as if I truly was family in her eyes. It was such an incredible feeling. I fought back the overwhelming tears of joy as my brain searched for the appropriate response to such unselfish generosity. “Thank you both so much.”
Jackson leaned over and kissed me tenderly on my forehead. “See, everything is going to be fine.”
I nodded my head stupidly afraid to open my mouth knowing it would open the floodgate behind my eyes.
“We will leave you two alone now to talk. I will pick up some magazines and we will start planning things tomorrow afternoon. Is that all right with you, Jocelyn?” Emily asked as she and Robert got up. They both gave me a hug.
“That sounds wonderful, Emily. Thank you both so much for everything.”
I hated that those few words caused the reaction I had feared and the tears began falling down my cheeks. Jackson grinned softly and wiped them away.
“We are going to run to the market for a few things for dinner. We shall return shortly.” Robert strolled by and placed his hand on my shoulder, giving me a gentle squeeze before they left.
I snuggled in close to Jackson feeling wonderful about the turn of events. A heavy burden had been lifted concerning our marriage and my education. I closed my eyes and imagined how wonderful it would be to spend my life in the arms of the man I love. In both time periods, I was truly blessed to have him and his amazing family. Jenna’s words no longer stung as they had earlier cause now I knew that no matter what, I was going to have Jackson and that was all that truly mattered.
“Feeling better?” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes. Much.” I leaned up and kissed him passionately.
A loud knock on the front door interrupted our exchange. Jackson climbed off the couch with an inquisitive look on his face. “Must be Ethan looking for you,” he said as he left the room to answer the door.
I sat there absorbing the heat from the fire and waiting to hear the sound of my brother’s voice from the foyer. Instead, it was Kyle’s voice that rang out. “Hey, Jackson. Is Jocelyn still here?”
“Yes.” Jackson’s voice sounded strange.
“Can I speak with her?” Jenna asked rudely.
“Let me ask. Please, come in.”
I heard their footsteps on the ceramic tile in the foyer. “Wait right here, please.” The front door closed and I heard his steps returning to me.
I got up and walked over to the fire staring blindly at it. I really didn’t want to talk with Jenna right now. I was feeling too good and confident about the new course my life was taking and her negativity only spoiled my happiness.
Jackson walked up behind me and slid his arms around my waist. I closed my eyes and leaned back against him. “Jenna and Kyle are here.”
I nodded silently not wanting to lose this moment in time.
“She wants to speak with you. What would you like me to tell her?”
I turned around in his arms to face him. His bright green eyes sparkled in the firelight as he gazed upon my face so lovingly that it literally took my breath away. “I don’t want her to spoil this for me,” I whispered, leaning my head against his chest.
“Then don’t let her.” He put his index finger under my chin lifting my face to look at his. “This is about you and me, Jocelyn. Not them, not your family. You and me. I love you. Always. Do not ever doubt that.” I nodded, locked in the trance his eyes held me tightly in. “Shall I invite them in?”
“All right,” I reluctantly nodded.
Jackson let go of me and retreated back to the foyer. Seconds later the three of them returned. Jenna looked extremely uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was in Jackson’s house or because of our argument. Either way, I was selfishly happy about her condition.
They sat down on the loveseat and Jackson joined me on the couch. There was an uneasy silence coated with tension that hung in the space between us.
“Jocelyn, I’m sorry,” Jenna began. “You just caught me off guard with your news. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t react very well.” Her voice was less than sincere. Almost forced. It gave me the feeling that the only reason she was here was that she had gone running to Kyle when we parted and told him about our interlude. He must have made her come over and apologize.
I had no words for her less than sincere apology. Rather I glanced between Kyle and Jackson to get a sense of their reaction. Both looked bored and uncomfortable.
“See? I told you this was pointless,” Jenna huffed over at Kyle.
“No. This is silly! You both are.” Kyle looked over at me than back at Jenna. “You two are the best of friends who fight like two grumpy old men. Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of it.”
“I’m not the one who wanted to come over here. Remember?” Jenna nearly shouted at him. “If she’s stupid enough to ruin her life, than let her! It’s not my responsibility to save her.”
“Now wait a damn minute.” Jackson was suddenly very irritated. “What gives you the right to come into my house and make such accusations? This decision is between us, not you or anyone else.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Jackson! You have known her for what? Five minutes? Well, I have known her for eighteen years. I think I know her better than you ever will. I know how much she has always wanted to go to college and grad school and have a career of her own. Not be some little wife and play house somewhere with you and a house full of snot-nosed little brats! You’re ruining her life and you don’t even care about it. If you truly love her, like she claims, then you would wait until you both at least finished your bachelor’s degrees before you decide to get married!” Jenna screamed back at him. Her face was crimson with anger and her hands were shaking uncontrollably.
Kyle placed his hands over hers in an attempt to calm her down. I looked over at Jackson who was fuming with fury and struggling to remain composed.
“This is my decision. Not yours, Jenna. I love Jackson more than you can ever comprehend and if you can’t be happy for me then I don’t think we have anything more to say to one another.”
I considered telling her about my conversation with Robert and Emily earlier and their offer to help, but immediately decided against it. After all, it was none of her business anyway.
“If that’s how you feel, than fine.” Jenna stood up, but Kyle pulled her back down by her arm. Jenna flashed a hateful look at him and jerked her arm away. “Don’t!” She glared.
“Calm down. Now this is stupid. Why can’t you just be happy for them? If this is what they want then it’s their decision to make. Be supportive and stop acting like such a bitch,” Kyle scolded her like a child.
Jenna crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Jackson and me. I took a deep breath and sighed heavily.
“I can’t. I know this is wrong. He’s going to ruin her life.” She narrowed her eyes.
“Jenna, there are some things I can’t explain to you between Jackson and I. You have to trust me. This is the best decision I’ve ever made,” I reluctantly stated.
“Bull shit! We have never kept secrets from one anot
her. You know you can tell me anything,” she complained.
“Not this.” I shook my head in despair.
“What? Now, because you have him in your life you can no longer trust me?” I swear, if looks could truly kill, than Jackson would have been dead from the look she shot him.
“It’s not about him. It’s about me for crying out loud! Something happened to me in the last several weeks that I cannot explain to you, because I don’t really understand it myself.” My voice raised an octave.
“But it involves him. Right?” Her voice was accusing.
“No! Actually, it doesn’t!” I lied.
“See, I told you.” She looked over at Kyle. “This is completely pointless. If she won’t be honest then this conversation is over.”
“Then I guess you can leave now and stop ruining my afternoon.” I glared over at her.
“Fine.” Jenna got up leaving Kyle baffled on the loveseat.
“This has gone on long enough,” Kyle raised his voice, an unusual rarity. “Jenna, sit your ass down. Now!”
She exhaled deeply and leaned against the bookcase glaring at him.
“I cannot believe you two. This whole thing is beyond ridiculous. Jenna, you are going to have to accept the fact that Jocelyn is with Jackson and they are getting married. You also have to accept the fact that the two of you are different people and there are some things in her life she can’t share with you. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t trust you or love you. It means that some things that she may feel she cannot share.”
Jenna remained silent but her face softened a bit. “And Jocelyn, you have to accept the fact that Jenna loves you like a sister and only has your best interest at heart. She’s terrified of you making a mistake when you two have only known each other for such a short time. It seems so fast and that makes the possibility of it being a mistake even greater. Can you at least understand where she is coming from?”
“I do, but she has to trust me when I say I’m not making a mistake. This decision is the one thing I am the most certain about in my life.”
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