“Let’s do that thing again where the first person to call retreat is the loser,” she says. She’s kicking off her shoes so I do the same.
“You’re about to lose then, ‘cause I’m not retreating,” I say. She knows I’ll lose. I always do.
“Neither am I,” she says, shaking her head. She pulls her legs up and scoots back onto the bed. I stand at the edge of the bed and take in the view before I join her. Sometimes when I watch her, it seems surreal that she’s mine. That she really loves me back. She blows a strand of hair out of her face, then tucks her hair behind her ears and positions herself against the pillow, waiting for me to join her. I slowly slide on top of her and slip my hand behind her neck, gently pulling her lips to mine. I move slowly as I kiss her, trying to savor every second. We hardly ever get to make out; I don’t want to rush it.
“I love you so much,” I whisper. She wraps her legs around my waist and tightens her arms on my back in an attempt to pull me in closer.
“Spend the night with me, Will. Please? You can come over after the boys go to sleep. They’ll never know.”
“Lake, it’s just one more week. We can make it.”
“I don’t mean for that. We can wait for that until next weekend. I just want you in my bed tonight, I miss you. Please?”
I continue kissing her neck without responding to her plea. I can’t say no, so I just don’t respond at all.
“Don’t make me beg, Will. You’re so damn responsible sometimes, it makes me feel weak.”
I laugh at the thought that she thinks she’s weak. My lips make their way down to the collar of her shirt. “If I spend the night…what are you gonna wear?” I slowly unbutton the top button of her shirt and press my lips to her skin.
“Oh my god,” she breathes. “I’ll wear whatever the hell you want me to wear.”
I unbutton the next button on her shirt and move my lips a little lower. “I don’t like this shirt. I definitely don’t want you to wear this shirt,” I say. “In fact, it’s a really ugly shirt. I think you should take it off and throw it away.” I unbutton the third button, waiting for her to call retreat. I know I’m about to win.
When she doesn’t, I continue kissing lower and lower as I unbutton the fourth button, then the fifth button, then the last button. She still doesn’t call retreat. She’s testing me. I slowly bring my lips back to her mouth and she rolls me onto my back and straddles me, then slides her shirt off and tosses it aside.
I run my hands up her arms and over the curves of her chest. Her hair has gotten a lot longer since I met her. It’s hanging loosely around her as she leans over me. I tuck it behind her ears so I can see her face better. It’s dark, but I can still make out her smile, and the amazing emerald hue of her eyes. I slide my hands back up to her shoulders and trace the outline of her bra.
“Wear this tonight.” I slide my fingers under the straps. “I like this.”
“So does that mean you’re staying the night?” she asks. Her tone is more serious now. Not so playful.
“If you wear this,” I say, being just as serious. She presses her body against mine, our bare skin meeting for the first time in months. I’m definitely not calling retreat now. I can’t. I’m usually not so weak; I don’t know what it is about her right now that’s making me so weak.
“Lake.” I break my lips apart from hers, but she continues kissing the edges of them as I speak, short of breath. “It’s just a matter of hours until next weekend. It’s coming up so fast, in fact…that this weekend can be considered part of the upcoming week. And the upcoming week is part of next weekend. So technically, next weekend is sort of occurring right now…this very second.”
She grabs my face with her hands and positions it in front of her so that she can look me straight in the eyes. “Will? You better not be saying this because you think I’m about to call retreat, because I’m not. Not this time.”
She’s serious. I gently roll her onto her back and ease myself on top of her. I place my hand on the side of her head and stroke her cheek with my thumb, looking her straight in the eyes. “You’re not? Are you positive you’re ready to not call retreat? Right now?”
“Positive,” she whispers. She wraps her legs tightly around my thighs and we completely give in to our need for each other. I grab the back of her head and press her mouth into mine even harder. I can feel my pulse rushing through my entire body as we both begin to gasp for air between each kiss, like we suddenly forgot how to breathe. We’re both desperate, doing our best to get past the moment one of us usually calls retreat. We pass that moment pretty quickly. I reach around to her back until my hands find the clasp on her bra and I unhook it while she frantically tugs at the button on my pants. I pull the straps of her bra down over her arms to slide it off when the worst thing in the world happens. Someone knocks on the damn door.
“Christ!” I say. My head is spinning so fast, I have to take a moment to calm down. I press my forehead into the pillow next to her and we both try to catch our breath. She slides out from under me and stands up.
“Will, I can’t find my shirt,” she says with panic in her voice. I roll onto my back and pull her shirt out from beneath me and toss it to her.
“Here’s your ugly shirt,” I tease.
The boys are beating on the door now, so I hop out of the bed and go down the hallway to find my own shirt before opening the front door for them.
“What took you so long?” Kel asks as they shove their way past me.
“We were watching a movie,” I lie. “We were at a really good part and didn’t want to pause it.”
“Yeah,” Lake agrees, emerging from the hallway. “A really good part.”
Kel and Caulder walk to the kitchen and Kel flips the light on.
“Can Caulder stay here tonight?” Kel asks.
“I don’t know why you guys even bother asking anymore,” Lake says.
“Because we’re grounded. Remember?” Caulder says.
Lake looks to me for assistance.
“It’s your birthday, Kel. The grounding can resume tomorrow night,” I say.
They both go to the living room and start watching TV.
I reach my hand out to Lake. “Walk me home?” Lake grabs my hand and we head out the front door.
“Are you coming back over later?” she asks.
Now that I’ve had the chance to cool off, I can see where coming back might not be a good idea. “Lake, maybe I shouldn’t. We got really carried away just now. How do you expect me to sleep in the same bed with you after that?”
I expect her to object, but she doesn’t.
“You’re right, like always. It’ll be weird anyway with our brothers in the same house.” She wraps her arms around me when we reach my front door. It’s incredibly cold outside, but she doesn’t seem to care as we stand there and hold each other.
“Or maybe you’re wrong,” she says. “Maybe you should come back in an hour. I’ll wear the ugliest pajamas I can find and I won’t even brush my teeth. You won’t want to touch me. All we’ll do is sleep.”
I laugh at her absurd plan. “You could go a week without brushing your teeth or changing clothes and I still wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”
“I’m serious, Will. Come back in an hour, I just want to cuddle with you. I’ll make sure the boys are in their room and you can sneak in like we’re in high school.”
She doesn’t have to do much convincing. “Fine. I’ll be back in an hour. But all we’re doing is sleeping, okay? No tempting me.”
“No tempting, promise,” she says with a grin.
I cup her chin in my hand and lower my voice as I speak. “Lake, I’m serious. I want this to be perfect for you and I get really carried away when I’m with you. We only have a week left. I want to stay the night with you but I need you to promise me you won't put me in that position
again for at least 162 more hours. “
“One hundred sixty-one and a half,” she says.
I shake my head and laugh. “Go put those boys to bed. I’ll see you in a little while.”
She kisses me goodbye and I head into the house and take a shower. A cold shower.
When I get to her house an hour later, all the lights are off. I lock the door behind me and ease my way down the hallway and into her bedroom. She left the bedside lamp on for me. She’s lying in bed with her back toward me, so I climb in behind her and slide my arm under her head. I expect her to respond, but she’s out. She’s actually snoring. I brush her hair behind her ear and kiss the back of her head as I pull the covers around us both and close my eyes.
Saturday, January 14th
I love being with you so bad
When we aren’t together, I miss you so bad
One of these days, I’m going to marry you so bad
And it’ll be
so
so
good.
Chapter Five
Lake was upset when she woke up Saturday morning and I was already gone. She says it wasn’t fair that she slept through our entire first sleepover. Regardless, I enjoyed it. I watched her sleep for a while before I went back home.
We didn’t get into any more situations like the one in her bedroom Friday night. I think we’re both surprised at how intense things got; so we’re trying to avoid it happening again. Until this coming weekend, anyway. Saturday we spent the evening at Joel’s with Eddie and Gavin. Sunday, we did homework together. Pretty typical weekend.
Now I’m sitting here in Death and Dying, being stared down by the only person I’ve ever had sex with. It’s awkward. The way Vaughn is acting, I feel like I really am hiding something from Lake. But telling her about Vaughn now would just prove that I wasn’t being completely honest the first week of school. The last thing I want to do before this weekend is upset Lake, so I decide to wait another week before I bring it up.
“Vaughn, the professor is up there,” I say, pointing to the front of the room. She continues to stare at me.
“Will, you’re being a snob,” she whispers. “I don’t understand why you won’t just talk to me. If you were really over what happened between us, it wouldn’t bother you this much.”
I can’t believe she honestly thinks I’m not over us. I’ve been over us since the day I first laid eyes on Lake.
“I’m over us, Vaughn. It’s been three years. You’re over us, too. You just always want what you can’t have, and it’s pissing you off. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
She folds her arms across her chest and sits back in her chair. “You think I want you?” She glares at me, then turns her attention to the front of the room. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole?” she whispers.
I laugh. “As a matter of fact, yes. More than once.”
***
Today is Kel and Caulder’s first day back to school since their suspension. They both climb in the car with defeated expressions across their faces. I eye the books spilling out of their backpacks and realize it’s going to be a night full of catching up on homework for the two of them. “I guess you guys learned your lesson,” I say, pulling out of the parking lot.
Lake is walking out of my house when we get out of the car. It doesn’t bother me at all that she’s at my house when I’m not home, but I'm a little curious what she was doing while she was inside. She sees the confusion on my face as she walks toward me. She holds out her hand and reveals one of the stars that her mother made, resting in her palm.
“Don’t judge me,” she says. She looks down at her palm and rolls the star around in her hand. “I just miss her today.”
The look on her face makes me sad for her. I give her a quick hug, then watch her walk across the street and go back inside her house. She’s in need of alone time, so I give it to her. “Kel, stay over here for a while. I’ll help you guys with all your homework.”
It takes us a couple of hours to finish the week worth of assignments that piled up while the boys were suspended. Gavin and Eddie are supposed to come over for dinner tonight, so I head to the kitchen to start cooking. We’re not having burgers tonight. I’m sure we’ll never have burgers again. I debate on whether or not I want to cook basagna, but decide against it. Honestly, I don’t even feel like cooking. I grab the phone and go to the fridge and slide the Chinese menu out from under the magnet.
Half an hour later, Eddie and Gavin show up, followed a minute later by Lake, then the Chinese delivery guy. I set the containers in the middle of the table and we all start filling our plates.
“We’re in the middle of a game, can we eat in my room tonight?” Caulder asks.
“Sure,” I say.
“I thought they were grounded,” Gavin says.
“They are,” Lake replies.
Gavin picks up his eggroll and takes a bite. “They’re playing video games. What exactly are they grounded from, then?”
Lake looks to me for assistance. I don’t know the answer, but I try anyway.
“Gavin, are you questioning our parenting skills?” I ask.
“Nope,” Gavin says. “Not at all.”
There’s a weird vibe tonight. Eddie is extremely quiet as she picks at her food. Gavin and I try to make small talk, but that doesn’t last long. Lake seems to be in her own little world, not paying much attention to what’s going on. I try to break the tension.
“Suck and sweet time,” I say. Almost simultaneously, all three of them object.
“What’s going on?” I ask them. “What’s with all the depression tonight?” No one answers me. Eddie and Gavin look at each other. Eddie looks like she’s about to cry so Gavin kisses her on the forehead, but they just continue eating. I look over at Lake and she’s just staring down at her plate, twirling her noodles around. “What about you, babe? What’s wrong?” I say to her.
“Nothing. Really, it’s nothing,” she says, unsuccessfully trying to convince me she’s fine. She smiles at me and grabs both of our glasses and goes to the kitchen to refill them.
“Sorry, Will,” Gavin says. “We aren’t trying to be rude. We’ve just got a lot on our minds lately.”
“No problem,” I say. “Anything I can do to help?”
They both shake their heads. “You going to the slam Thursday night?” Gavin asks, changing the subject.
We haven’t been in a few weeks. Since before Christmas, I think. “I don’t know, I guess we could.” I turn to Lake. “You want to?”
She shrugs. “Sounds fun. We’ll have to see if someone can watch Kel and Caulder, though.”
Eddie clears her and Gavin’s spots at the table while Gavin puts his jacket on. “We’ll see you there, then. Thanks for supper. We won’t suck so much next time.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “Everyone’s entitled to a bad day every now and then.”
After they leave, I close the take-out containers and place them in the refrigerator while Lake washes our dishes in the sink. I walk over to her and hug her. “You sure you’re okay?” I ask.
She turns around and hugs me back, laying her head against my chest. “I’m fine, Will. It’s just….” She stops talking. I lift her face up to mine and she’s trying to hold back tears.
I place my hand on the back of her head and pull her to me. “What’s wrong?”
She quietly cries into my shirt. I can tell she’s trying again to stop herself. I wish she wasn’t so hard on herself when she gets sad.
“It’s just today,” she says. “It’s their anniversary.”
I realize she’s talking about her mom and dad, so I don’t say anything. I just hug her tighter and kiss the top of her head.
“I know it’s silly that I’m upset. I’m mostly upset about the fact that it’s making me so upset,” she says.
I place my hands on her cheeks and pull her gaze to mine. “It’s not silly, Lake. I don’t know why you get so mad at yourself when you’re sad. It’s okay to cry sometimes.”
She smiles and kisses me, then breaks away, still attempting to not be sad. “I’m going somewhere with Eddie tomorrow night. Wednesday night I have a study group, so I won’t see you until Thursday. Are you getting a sitter, or should I?” she asks.
“Do you really think they need one? Kel’s eleven now and Caulder will be eleven in two months. Don’t you think they can stay home for a few hours by themselves?”
She nods. “I guess so. Maybe I’ll ask Sherry if she’ll at least feed them supper and check on them. I could give her some money.”
“I like that idea,” I say.
She calls for Kel after she gets her jacket and shoes on, then walks back to the kitchen and puts her arms around me. “Ninety three more hours,” she says, planting a kiss on my neck. “I love you.”
“Listen to me,” I say as I look her intently in the eyes. “It’s okay to be sad, Lake. Quit trying to carve so many pumpkins. And I love you, too.” I kiss her one last time and lock the door behind them when they leave.
Tonight was really strange. The whole vibe seemed off. I decide since we’re going to the slam to try to put my thoughts down on paper. I think I’ll surprise Lake and do one for her this week. Maybe it'll help her feel better.
***
For reasons beyond my comprehension, Vaughn sits next to me again on Wednesday. You would think after our little tiff on Monday that she would have given up by now. I was hoping she had, anyway.
She pulls her notebook out and opens her textbook where we left off Monday. She doesn’t stare at me this time. In fact, she doesn’t even speak during the entire class period. I’m happy she’s not talking to me, but at the same time I feel a little guilty for being so rude to her. Not guilty enough to apologize about it, though. She did deserve it.
Point of Retreat (Slammed Series) Page 6