by Ann Herrick
"Oh, she did, did she?" I laughed.
"I never would have had the nerve to ask her out, especially after sweating out two years of her dating Stuart, if I hadn't thought she had some interest in me."
"Well, I'm glad I could be of service, however indirectly."
After Jimmy, I danced with Hank, then Lance, Peter, Tommy, Chris and Ron. I took a short break, then danced with Alan, John, Donald, Russ and Mike. I was nearing the half-way point as I danced with Mark, when I was practically blinded by a flashbulb going off. It was Matt. As I blinked, the music ended but not before I stumbled on Mark's foot.
"You okay?" Mark helped me maintain my balance.
"Yes," I said, once Matt was gone. "That...flash just caught me off guard."
Assured that I was okay, Mark left to find his date. Bret stopped by to see how I was doing.
"I've danced with over half the girls so far," said Bret . "What about you?"
"I'm getting there," I said. "Remember, there are eight more guys than girls in our class."
"Then you'd better get going." Bret smiled and was off to ask another girl to dance.
I headed for the refreshment table to nibble a cookie, compose myself and think. I wondered what to do about Matt. I wanted to dance with him, but not because I was trying to dance with every guy in the class. I wanted to feel his arms around me. But he was with Janie. Still, one little dance...what harm in that?
I finished my cookie and was brushing the crumbs from my fingers when I noticed that Janie was circling the room taking pictures. Matt was headed for the refreshment table. My heart overruled my brain. I cut off Matt before he could make it to the punch bowl. I flashed what I hoped was a confident smile. "Hi, Matt. How about a dance?"
He hesitated for a second. Then, offering me an arresting smile, he said, "Sure."
He slipped his arm around my waist. We danced in a relaxed, easy manner. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander. The next thing I knew I had my chin resting comfortably on his shoulder. Things were getting seriously snug. I was beginning to think, or at least hope, that Matt was enjoying the dance as much as I was. This was hardly the stiff, formal moment I'd thought would get Matt out of my system.
Too soon the music stopped. I was reluctant to step out of the warm circle of Matt's arms. But when he thanked me for the dance and excused himself so he could help Janie, I was dumped back to cold reality.
As I prepared myself to put Matt in the back of my mind and plunge ahead to dance with classmate number sixteen, my parents arrived. They spotted me, rushed over and started telling me all about their reunion. They were both talking at once and we were taking up space on the dance floor, so I maneuvered them over to a table.
"Now," I said, feeling as though I was the parent. "Tell me about the reunion."
"It was funny at first," said Mom. "All I noticed was how different some of the people looked."
"You should have seen how bald some of the guys were," said Dad, patting his own hair as if it were made of spun gold.
"But after the first ten minutes," Mom continued, "we just saw past all the changes. It was like stepping back in time."
"It was like being eighteen again," Dad said, a wistful smile on his face. "Only better, because we know who we are now and we're comfortable with whom we've become."
"I still can't get over Ralph Hawkins." Mom shook her head, laughing. "In high school he was all hands and feet, a real nervous type. If you said Hi to him in the halls, he'd drop his books. Now he's...he's a..." Mom had to stop, so she wouldn't laugh. "Now he's a brain surgeon!"
"And Sally Miles," said Dad. "She used to sit next to me in most of my classes. She'd talk and fool around and bug everyone around her. She apologized to me tonight. She said she was sorry about disrupting things all the time, that I'd been nice to put up with her, but she'd acted that way because she'd been bored. Turned out she's practically a genius and she went through Harvard in three years!"
"Tim Simon is the one who surprised me most," said Mom. "He was the class wolf. First thing he said to me was that I looked just the same as in high school only twice as good."
"Sounds as if he hasn't changed," I said.
"I don't know," said Mom. "He's married, has six kids, coaches Little League. After his opening compliment, all he talked about was his family."
"Did everyone undergo a major metamorphosis?" I asked.
"Oh, no," said Dad. "There were people who were pretty much the same. Their interests may have changed, or some of their opinions, but the basic personalities were still intact."
"What about you?" I asked, trying to be subtle. "Did, um, everyone still think you were an...adorable couple?"
"Adorable couple?" Mom had a blank look on her face. Then she brightened. "Oh, you're referring to the Who's Who! I think most people were happy just to see that we're still together."
"Yes," said Dad. "Lots of couples broke up after high school. Of the few who did marry, there were a couple divorces."
"And poor Richard Engert." Mom shook her head sadly. "A heart attack so young. Leaving Maggie a widow with three children."
Dad put his arm around Mom. "We're both still here and we're together. That's what counts. Not how adorable we are--or aren't."
Mom nodded, but then grinned. "Of course, I think we still look cute together and I know I'll think so even if we both live to be one hundred."
I actually had a lump in my throat and could have easily cried. But there were too many people around. And I was supposed to be having fun. "Well," I said after clearing my throat, "it was great hearing about the reunion." I gave them each a quick hug. "But now I've got some more dancing to do."
"We need to start dancing," said Dad. "Mrs. Blossom, may I have the honor?"
"Why, of course, Mr. Blossom." Mom batted her eyes at Dad and they were off, whirling around the dance floor.
I made up my mind to finish what I'd started--to dance with every guy in the senior class. And when I had a chance, whether it was tonight or later, I'd talk to Matt and tell him I'd changed my mind about the Who's Who. It had been selfish of me to want to delete it, considering how popular it was. I could see now that my insecurity about handling leadership had contributed to my stubbornness. But it was my talk with Mom and Dad that really made me realize how foolish I'd been to worry about it so much in the first place.
It was too late to make any difference regarding Matt. Now that Janie was so clearly in the picture, I was definitely out of it, as far as romance went. But I did want to do what was right and I knew Matt would love taking pictures for the Who's Who.
The evening sped by as I danced with Jim and George and Buddy and Larry and Dean. Not to mention Gene, Ken, Curtis, Scott, and last but not least, Ben. The crowd started thinning out, but I saw that Bret was still dancing. It looked as if he'd added a few sophomores and juniors to his list. Since Bret was having a good time and I was tired, I sat at a table in a quiet corner of the room.
Just as I was catching my breath, Janie Wright came and sat down next to me. She set a bag of camera equipment down on the floor in front of her. "Hi," she said as she sorted through cameras. "Nice dance, wasn't it?"
"Yes. I had a good time." I was glad I could say that truthfully.
I watched the remaining die-hards on the dance floor, my parents included. They looked as though they had the energy to dance another four or five hours.
"You know, I saw you and Matt dancing," said Janie. She paused for a second while she zipped up the camera bag. "You two totally made a cute couple."
CHAPTER 11
I thought that was a strange thing for Janie to say. Was she an incredibly generous person? Or did she suspect my true feeling and wanted to get me to reveal them with verbal shock treatment?
I figured a polite response would be best. "Um, thank you."
I guess that tactic worked.
Janie nodded, then quickly said, "The dance was great, wasn't it? I'm sure Matt and I got some terrific pictures.
"
After that we just sat there. I was actually on the verge of nodding off waiting for Bret, when Matt appeared. He gave me a warm, friendly smile. That made it harder for me to erase my feelings for him. If he'd shot me a dirty look or something, I could at least work up some indignation and get him out of my system faster.
I returned Matt's smile. Was it my imagination that he seemed poised to ask me something just when Bret came bounding over?
"Hi!" said Bret to all of us. Then to me, "Last dance, Laurel. Come on!" He grabbed my hand.
Next thing I knew, we were on the dance floor. I kept my eyes peeled for Matt and Janie. Sure enough, they were dancing the last dance together, laughing and smiling and having a great time.
As the final notes of music faded, I couldn't help but continue to watch Matt as he helped Janie with her coat. Matt picked up the camera bag and they headed out the door. I could picture them climbing into Matt's old but comfortable clunker. I'd have given anything to be sinking into its cracked upholstery instead of the Mercedes' leather seats.
Bret dropped me off at home with a friendly peck on the cheek, and a promise to say Hi to Ruby for me. Mom and Dad weren't home yet and Iris was not up, so I went straight to my room and slipped out of my dress. It was so pretty--too bad I hadn't worn it for someone really special to me.
But the dance had been fun and I was glad I had gone. I had danced with some guys I'd never danced with before. And I'd stirred up some happy memories while dancing with some boys I had dated over the years. I probably wouldn't have done that if I'd gone with Matt.
Maybe by graduation I'd be dating someone who would make that time seem extra-special. If not, however, at last I knew I could still have a good time.
Sunday afternoon I called Anna and asked her to come over. I was out in the back yard, scattering bird seed on the frozen ground when she arrived. We sat on the back steps and talked, naturally, about the dance.
"I really had a nice time," said Anna. "Jimmy is a sweet guy and I like him a lot. I'm still working on getting Stuart out of my system. Still, it's good to know that, meanwhile, I can enjoy another guy's company."
I nodded as I tossed out the last of the bird seed. "I had a good time with Bret too. Of course, we didn't spend that much time together, buy maybe that was the point. We didn't feel obligated to spend every second with each other."
"It looked as if you danced with every guy in the entire senior class!" Anna wore a look of approval.
"I did." I smiled, and tried not to giggle. In Junior High Anna and I probably would have considered dancing with every guy in class a major accomplishment. Now, I found it was just a fun moment, though certainly one I would remember fondly through the years.
"You even danced with Matt." It was almost a question.
"Yes..." I knew Anna was waiting for me to go on. "It felt so good, being held in his arms. For a couple minutes there..." I didn't need to explain. "But he and Janie seem to be a solid couple. I've...I've changed my mind about the Who's Who. I'll tell Matt tomorrow after school. It won't change anything, but I want to do what's right. I see now it was dumb of me to worry so much about the Who's Who to ever have considered eliminating it. It is just for fun. And to have been so stubborn about it, not wanting to budge. I wasn't being a leader, I was being a dictator!"
"Hey! Don't be so hard on yourself," said Anna. "We all make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them. I'd say you have."
"Boy, have I. The hard way. I lost out on a great relationship with a terrific guy."
"Well, you and Matt can still be friends."
"Sure...but that's not much consolation."
"Ta da!" The back door flew open. Iris stepped out, flinging her arms wide. She wore a trench coat with the collar turned up, a man's hat pulled down on one side and glasses.
"Iris!" I stared at her. "When did you get glasses? They look great on you!"
"I picked them up yesterday," Iris said. "You were busy getting ready for the dance, and I wanted to surprise you. I got the hat and this neat old trench coat at the Thrift Shop for only five dollars! How do you like my look?"
"It's terrific," I said.
"Makes you look like a glamorous spy," said Anna.
"Ahhh," said Iris. "Exactly the look I was aiming for."
I remembered that it was Matt who had told Iris the glasses gave her a mysterious look. She'd certainly taken his comment to heart, and created a totally enigmatic image for herself.
"I like the new you," I said.
"Me too," said Anna.
"The best part is," said Iris, tugging the hat down a bit farther, "I haven't bumped into or dropped anything since I got my glasses." With a dramatic flourish she skulked back into the house.
"There's one girl," said Anna, "who's managed to trade in her official Blossom adorable image for something more exciting."
"Yes," I said. "She seems to have developed a flair for it. As for me, I've decided it's okay to look 'adorable' as long as I have my health."
Anna looked puzzled.
I filled her in on what my parents had told me about their reunion, how happy they were to still be together on this earth. "Someday I may want or need to look more sophisticated or glamorous or serious, but until then I'm happy the way I am. I don't need to act like a dictator to get respect. I just wish I'd realized it sooner."
Anna nodded, and smiled sympathetically.
The next day at school I resisted the urge to try to talk to Matt between classes. I needed more than a couple of minutes on the run to apologize for being a stubborn jerk and to get things on the right track again.
I even held off during the yearbook meeting after school. I really wanted to talk to Matt alone. Finally the meeting ended. Everyone left except Matt, Janie and me. I'd forgotten about Janie. I'd have to wait at least another day.
I was putting away some photographs when I realized Janie was saying goodbye--to me and Matt. My throat went dry. My big opportunity had arrived and I didn't know how to begin.
Matt was nice enough, I thought, to want to be friends after I cleared up our disagreement about the Who's Who. But I wasn't sure how I'd handle that, feeling about him the way I did. Maybe I needed some distance between us in order to get over it. It would be hard enough seeing him with Janie and pretending it didn't matter.
However, I had an injustice to correct, so I'd just have to put aside my personal feelings. "Hey, Matt," I said finally, trying to sound casual. "If you have a few minutes, I'd like to talk to you."
"Well..." Matt glanced at his watch. "I guess I have time. What's up?"
I took a deep breath, then blurted it all out. "I was wrong about the Who's Who. You were right. It's all in fun. It is a way to recognize lots of people who might not get any recognition otherwise. It doesn't label people forever. It's just how it is at one point in someone's life."
I sat down. I shook from trying to spew it all out at once.
"Well." Matt cocked his head to one side. He sat down next to me. "Just what made you change your mind?"
"Lot's of things." I waved my arms in the air. "My parents, their reunion. I don't know--maybe just getting older and wiser. I'm sorry for being such a tyrant about it."
"It was your decision to make," Matt said. He got up and looked out the window. "Maybe if I hadn't pressured you so much to change your mind, you wouldn't have gotten so upset with me."
I gulped. I'd been afraid Matt had just been playing up to me to get me to change my mind. I didn't want to tell him that, but I still wasn't sure if I'd been right or wrong. I went over to a counter near the window and fiddled with some papers. "Maybe we should...expand the Who's Who. Add more categories."
"If that's what you'd like to do." Matt turned toward me. "We have come up with good ideas when we worked together."
"We do make a good team," I said. I quickly added, "Of course, we'd include Janie too."
"Everyone could pitch in with suggestions."
"Well, yes. Sure. But since you
and Janie are going together--"
"Hold it." Matt folded his arms across his chest. "What made you say that?"
I was confused by Matt's stern attitude. "I-I just meant that Janie could work with us."
"I understood that," Matt said. "I was asking why you said Janie and I are going together."
"Well, you are..aren't you?"
"As a matter of fact," said Matt, "we are not. We've been working together. Janie wants to be Photo Editor next year. She figures she stands a better chance if she learns as much as she can about photography. That's why she was at the dance with me."
I guess astonishment was written all over my face, because the next thing he said was, "Don't look so shocked."
I gripped the edge of the counter. "I-I'm sorry. I mean, I thought...it's just that I saw you together all the time. She went to your house to print pictures. I saw you together at the movies…"
"The movies?" Matt raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah. I remember. I ran into her in the ticket line, so we sat together. She's a nice girl and maybe I would have dated her, but--I'm surprised you didn't know, she sees a guy she met at the beach in Madison last summer."
"Oh," I said in a small voice. "I didn't know." I felt about two feet high. "You must think I'm a jerk."
"Not at all." Matt came over and brushed a loose lock of hair away from my face. "In fact, I'm hoping you're glad Janie and I aren't seeing each other."
"You are?" The way Matt looked at me made my pulse race. "I-I mean, I am," I said. Still, I had to make sure of his motives. I couldn't go around having even the tiniest doubt. I forced a small laugh and tried to sound as if I were joking. "You're not saying all this just to make sure I won't change my mind about the Who's Who?"
Matt stepped back, a hurt look on his face. "Of course not! Why would you even say that?"
It was obvious he was insulted by what I'd said. My throat tightened. What could I do but tell him how I felt, throw myself on his mercy and hope he understood? "I...I've felt totally insecure as editor at times. I've never been head of anything before. Since I didn't know you that well I worried that you...that I... I'm sorry. You were only pushing for what was best for the yearbook. I was dumb to think..." The ache in my throat choked my voice.