by Anne Hampson
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, and the disappointment was clearly ringing in her voice. ‘I should mind my own business.’
For the next few minutes there was silence between them, a not very pleasant silence, and Gail was angry with herself for allowing her curiosity to come to the surface. However, as they continued along the gibber path which for some reason Kane had taken, a conversation took place between them and soon Gail was finding magic in the night again.
Kane was telling her about life on the station and she listened with keen interest, inserting a question now and then; he appeared pleased that she should want to know more and he would answer these questions fully and with patience.
‘I was so surprised by the fact that the community is self-supporting,’ she told him. ‘I knew of course that your estate was very large, but somehow I pictured a lonely house with a few buildings around it - barns and stables and the like—’
‘Just as your farmers in England have?’ he broke in with some amusement. ‘Well, Gail, that wouldn’t be much use here, would it?’
‘No, indeed it wouldn’t. You have many other villages - scattered about the estate?’
‘But of course. This estate, and many like it, are, as you know, as large as counties. Villages are a necessity, the grazing being so scattered as it is.’
‘It’s all so vast that it takes time to assimilate all the facts. Tell me some more, Kane.’
‘About the life, or the business of rearing cattle?’
‘Both.’
He smiled then, his amusement returning. Her heart seemed to jerk right into her throat, because of the attractiveness of him and because — despite his refusal to answer her question about his visit to England - she felt that no disunity whatsoever had come between them this evening. She felt close to him for the first time, his equal, his friend ... Friend? Gail knew the question hovered at the back of her subconscious, but she erected a barrier between it and her more foremost thoughts. It was a question she must continue to bar...
Kane began to speak, telling her about the work of mustering the cattle, of the work done in the branding yards, of the eventual dispatching of the ‘fats’ to the great centres of Darwin and Brisbane, where they would be killed for meat.
‘You send them by train, and air, don’t you? I’ve read that they used to be sent with drovers. What a journey that must have been!’
‘Yes, indeed,’ he agreed musingly, and went on to tell her that graves could be found all along the roads of the Outback, graves of men who had died while doing their duty, ‘The most disastrous of droving trips was when five drovers, all white men, were taking over one and a half thousand cattle from Wollogorang to a station in the north - Arafura Station. The journey got one man down completely and he shot himself. Another wandered off into the bush and another deserted. A man named Dunbar died of fever near Roper’s Bar and his grave is there still.’ Kane paused, a heavy frown creasing his forehead, and Gail asked him what had happened to the fifth man. ‘He went on, even though the fever had got him too—’
‘Oh, how awful! Imagine one poor man dragging himself on and on, and with the fever too!’
‘His grave is by a lagoon—’
‘He died? Oh, I had hoped he would have got through.’
Kane shook his head, looking at her with a curious light in his slate-grey eyes.
‘A lubra living wild brought him water, and lily roots, but he died, despite her care.’
Gail frowned in silence, feeling so sad that she could almost have cried.
‘Those poor men ... The one who went into the bush...?’
‘He would surely die. The bush is a killer, and that’s why I was so stern in my warning when you first came, remember?’ Gail did, since the warning had in fact been a definite order, with a threat of punishment should she disobey it. ‘You will answer to me if I hear of your venturing into the bush alone,’ he had said.
‘The cattle, Kane. Would they all go wild, as your bulls sometimes do?’
Kane shook his head. He and Gail had reached the billabong and he stopped under the trees.
‘The blacks from Arnhem Land came in for a splendid haul. They ate them.’
‘Oh ... What a tragic story, for in addition to all those deaths, the owner lost his cattle.’
‘All part of the difficulties at that time, Gail. People don’t seem to realize just what the first men and women went through in paving the way for the for- tunates like me.’
She looked swiftly at him, admiration strong within her at his free admission that he was fortunate, and that he was ever aware of the fact that people had died so that the country could be what it now was, productive even though it was often termed a wilderness by those who found its loneliness and harsh austerity unbearable.
‘I expect there are numerous stories of similar hardships,’ she said at length.
‘Too numerous to relate,’ he returned. ‘Men have wandered, delirious because of thirst and heat, and then dropped, to be buried by comrades who themselves were almost dead. Some were slain by the hostile Abos, some went mad owing to the solitude — especially a station manager who lived entirely alone. It’s a strange thing,’ he continued, his voice and expression grave and faintly sad, ‘that people of high intellect can suffer an inversion of character under conditions that prevail out here. There’s a threat in the evil of isolation, a threat to a man’s sanity,’
She nodded in agreement, musing on the way in which she herself had wanted to come out here. But she was not alone, nor very far from that gay gathering or the homestead or bungalows. She tried to imagine herself out here alone — no, out there, tramping that void that had no direction, no landmark for guidance ... and no water that was visible ... She shuddered and Kane turned his head, bringing his gaze from the light of a fire which glowed a very long way off, telling of men in the darkness making billy tea and damper, gathered as they were around a bore-trough.
‘What is it, dear?’
‘Dear?’ She started, wondering if that word had merely slipped out or if Kane had meant to say it.
‘I was thinking of what it must be like to be out there, all alone, and just wandering round and round in circles, or perhaps even going forward all the time, getting farther and farther away from the homestead.’ Again she shuddered and to her utter amazement she felt the comforting touch of Kane’s arm about her shoulders.
‘That’s just how it is,’ he returned, and she knew that he refrained from speaking soothing words simply because he wanted nothing more than to bring right home to her the dangers involved in venturing out alone. ‘You do go farther and farther away from the homestead - and you can do this just as easily in the daytime as at night,’ he added.
‘I shall never venture out alone,’ she promised. ‘I’d never be so foolish as to believe that I could find my way back.’
He told her what happened when anyone was lost in the bush. Every spare man for miles around was put on the hunt.
‘Aeroplanes have to be brought into use as well, and the utilities and overlanding cars - everything on wheels, this in addition to the men who search around closer to the homestead; they’re on foot, having a deep knowledge of the terrain and also having landmarks which the uninitiated could never hope to pick out.’ He looked away swiftly, diverted, and, following the direction of his gaze, Gail gave a gasp of delight and admir-ation.
‘A brumby - see how it seems to quiver in the moonlight!’
He smiled down at her.
‘You haven’t seen one before?’
‘Yes, as a matter of fact I have. But this one’s a real picture! I’d love to ride a horse like that.’
‘Do you ride, Gail?’
‘A little. We hadn’t the money when I was very young. I’m glad that Leta is learning already.’
‘Dave tells me he’s entering her in the gymkhana.’ She glanced up, frowning.
‘You don’t seem to mind that he’s taken her over, as it were?’
‘I
f she’s happy and he’s happy who am I to interfere?’
She gasped at this indifference, concerning as it did the activities of his own daughter.
‘Kane,’ she faltered, ‘you do love her, don’t you?’
He frowned at this and made no immediate answer to her question. When at length he did answer his voice was definitely guarded,
‘It’s not easy to love someone you haven’t known before. I expect I shall learn to love her eventually,’ he added, noting Gail’s frown, and the way it was deepening.
‘When the time comes for you to take her in hand. Then you might love her — if she improves, that is.’
‘Don’t you believe that she has improved?’
‘Yes, a little. Dave can do anything with her.’
‘He’s always had a way with kids. Pity he hasn’t married.’ He appeared to be reminded of something, for his expression underwent a change. ‘You said that you were coming to like him, if I remember?’
She coloured delicately, profoundly conscious of his piercing regard.
‘Nothing could come of it,’ she replied, turning her face away in order to conceal her expression. The question which had been hovering in her subconscious leapt right out now and she could not avoid an answer.
She was in love with Kane, the man whom she had vowed to hate, the man whom she had fully intended should accept the responsibility for his child. Her conscience smiting her, Gail could think only of Sandra, and wonder what she would think were she to know that her cousin had also fallen under the spell of this handsome but arrogant member of the squatocracy.
‘I am so ashamed,’ she murmured, but silently. ‘I only hope that it won’t be too long before I can leave here.’
And yet she had no desire now to leave. Had it not been for her parents she felt she would have considered finding herself a post as home help, going far away so that Kane’s friends would not hear of what she had done. She could have gone into the sheep-rearing country— Gail cut her musings, realizing that they were just a waste of time.
‘Nothing could come of it...’ Kane was murmuring to himself, and she looked at him. ‘Would you like something to come of it?’ he asked, and Gail shook her head at once.
‘No, I’m not likely to fall in love with Dave.’
He lifted his head slightly - she had the impression that he was relieved to hear her words. Well, naturally he’d be relieved, she decided. It would be a disastrous complication were she to wish to marry Dave! This was what was passing through his mind, she told herself ... and yet ... His expression at this moment was very strange indeed—
‘Gail dear—’ And before she knew what he was intending he had caught her to him and kissed her hard on the mouth. She resisted by instinct, but only fleetingly. This was too delightful, this moment of sheer undiluted magic, and she gladly surrendered her lips when, after the first hard possessive kiss, his lips on hers became more gentle — and persuasive.
‘Kane ... I—’ But his release of her lips had been only momentary and now he was claiming them again, claiming them in a sort of arrogant and masterful way. She felt the pressure of his body against hers; the very warmth of it penetrated, excitingly, temptingly.
‘Lovely Gail,’ he murmured, his lips close to her cheek. ‘My beautiful wife. How could we have parted like that? Why didn’t you come to me sooner?’ He held her very close and when in her bewilderment she would have spoken her words were cut on the instant by the pressure of his lips on here. ‘Be quiet,’ he hissed. ‘We’re being watched from among those bushes — Rachel!’
‘Rachel,’ she repeated, her voice husky with shame and disillusionment. It was all an act, put on because his stepmother was spying, trying to discover something by watching them when they were quite alone.
‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘Rachel. Let’s give her some more, shall we?’ Amusement in his tones now and Gail felt she must run from him, run to the privacy of her room and recover from this shock. But even had she tried she would not have got very far. ‘I hope you don’t mind—?’ He was actually laughing, silently, for his shoulders shook. ‘Sweetheart, don’t ever let us part again. And our darling Leta - we must remain together always, so that she’ll grow up having both mother and father.’ He paused and commanded in a whisper, ‘Say something, Gail!’
She swallowed, but her throat was so dry that it hurt. However, she did manage presently to say,
‘Yes, dearest Kane, we must stay together always...’ But her voice trailed away to silence and she brushed a hand across her cheek, removing the tear that had fallen. ‘Kane,’ she whispered huskily, ‘please let’s go back.’
‘Shall we go back, my love?’ he suggested in a tone that could be heard by the woman in the bushes. ‘You can’t stay too long away from your guests.’ He took her hand ‘Come, darling,’ he said, and the next moment they were on their way to rejoin the happy throng who were dancing to music relayed through two large speakers fixed to the wall of the shed.
If only she could escape, Gail was thinking when eventually they reached the verandah. Kane excused himself and went off to talk to an elderly couple who were sitting at a table at the far end of the verandah, eating refreshments. But escape was impossible since it was her party. Bitterly she reflected on her anticipation of this night... and that attention she had been given by the man whose wife she was supposed to be. Fool that she was, revelling in something that from the very first was nothing more than an act - and she had known it was an act, so there was no use blaming Kane. But that scene out there in the bush ... Yes, she did blame him! He should have warned first and made advances afterwards. It was totally unfair of him to have kissed her, especially in the way he had kissed her. For that had not seemed in any way to be an act. Those kisses had been so real that it was no wonder she was deceived.
‘Gail!’ It was Dave who came up to her as she entered the shed proper. ‘I want you to meet Georgina.’ And with a guiding hand on her arm Dave brought forward a pretty girl with golden hair and large hazel eyes. Slim, and dressed in a full-length velvet skirt and frilly lace blouse, she made as charming a picture as any man could desire. Dave was obviously in his element - looking happier than Gail had ever seen him. Having made the introductions, watched by several graziers who were seated at a nearby table, Dave suggested they should go outside to sit in the fresh air. But, aware that her inclusion was made merely for politeness, Gail made an excuse and allowed the couple to go off on their own.
As there was no one to whom she could talk just at that moment Gail wandered off on her own into the garden, making her exit by a low window so that Dave and his companion should not see her. She felt utterly lost and dejected. And she squirmed with embarrassment at the memory of her eager reciprocation to Kane’s kisses. But after some considerable thought, she reached the conclusion that he himself had not taken in the fact of this response. And only then did she feel less tensed and ashamed. If he had not noticed then she would have no difficulty in facing him tomorrow, in the cold light of day. Of course, she and he would come into contact again tonight, but perhaps only briefly, for the party was fast drawing to its close, the time being almost one o’clock in the morning.
She had turned to retrace her steps when she stopped in her tracks on hearing the low and questioning voice of Rachel who, it would seem, was talking to someone, and both she and this other person were screened by a rustic trellis covered by a bougainvillaea vine.
‘But you were in England at that time, Joseph. Surely you and he would have discussed your visits?’
‘I just went straight there, whereas Kane toured Europe.’
‘I don’t believe he toured Europe at all! He isn’t the one to leave his work!’
‘He did, Mrs. Farrell,’ insisted the man who, Gail thought, sounded as if he would escape if he could. ‘I know he did, because he showed his slides one night at a barbecue which he gave — that was long before you came, of course—’
‘Go on,’ interrupted Rachel urgently
. ‘All right, he toured Europe - but did he go to England, that’s what I’m trying to find out!’
‘He must have. The young Mrs. Farrell—’
‘All right, all right! You either don’t know anything or else you’re determined not to talk. But remember,’ she added in a threatening and rasping voice, ‘what I’ve said! If you so much as let out a murmur about this conversation I shan’t hesitate to expose your affair with the wife of your employer - the boss of Wolton Creek Station! And now you can get back to your lady love,’ she added with a sneer. ‘She’ll be hunting for you – wondering where you are.’
Gail stood, her heart beating so rapidly that she felt sure it must be heard by the two behind the trellis, and waited for them to come out and find her here; but to her inordinate relief they both went the other way and she was free to walk on unseen by either of them.
Kane found her sitting by the pool, her chin in her hands. She was crying, and in some consternation she tried to keep her face averted. But he tilted it up with a gentle finger under her chin.
‘Why are you crying?’ he wanted to know, his grey eyes searching her face as if they would find an answer there. ‘My dear—’
‘It’s Rachel,’ she broke in desperately, her one intention being to keep from him the real reason for her tears. ‘Kane, she’s been trying to extract information from someone - no, don’t ask me his name,’ she added hurriedly, even though Kane had not made any attempt to do so. ‘I won’t divulge it - or what the hold over him was. But—’
‘Gail dear,’ broke in Kane gently, ‘you’re not being at all clear. See, I shall sit down here beside you, and you shall tell me everything.’
‘It’s Rachel-’
‘On second thoughts,’ he interrupted, ‘I feel it will be better to find some spot which is more private. My stepmother seems to be far too active tonight for me to take any risks. Come—’ He took her trembling hand and helped her to her feet. ‘We’ll go into the house and talk.’
CHAPTER TEN