by M. S. Parker
“I could have done a thousand things differently too,” Ash said, his voice hoarse. “Toni, I’m sorry. I–”
“This isn’t about you.” I held up a hand. “It’s about me. You want to make things square with us?”
He nodded.
Surprise widened his eyes a fraction of a second before my fist slammed into his nose. I pulled the punch at the last second when I remembered that my knuckles were already bruised, but I still hit him with considerable force.
Pain burst up my arm as he stumbled back. He didn’t fall and I didn't see any blood, but I still felt better.
As he shook his head to clear it, I gave him a hard look. “You're the one I should've hit yesterday. Consider your apology accepted.”
Chapter 4
Toni
I opened my eyes.
Confused, I looked around only to wince as a crick in my neck decided to send a shooting pain straight up into my head. The headache that had been lying in wait sprang to life as I peered through tinted glass and tried to remember just where the hell I was.
“You fell asleep.”
Groaning, I rubbed at my stiff neck as I looked over at Ash.
He was sitting on the leather seat across from me.
My memory turned on and, just like that, the events of the past day came rushing back at me.
He’d called and said he had some news about Isadora. I’d gone over to his house and he’d had me arrested after accusing me of having something to do with Isadora's kidnapping. I’d spent the night in jail. My brothers had shown up at the station. The officer had declined to press charges. Ash had been there too. I realized I'd left my purse at his house. I vaguely remembered him offering me a ride to his house to get my purse and me accepting just to prove that I could be an adult about this. After that, things started getting hazy.
I rubbed at my eyes, and out of habit, checked my watch. Then, blinking, I checked it a second time. It was three hours later than it had been when I'd left the police station. I frowned at Ash as I straightened.
“Where are we?”
“My house. You needed to get your purse, right?”
My eyes narrowed. “It doesn't take three hours to get from the police station to your house.”
The corner of Ash's mouth twitched as if he was amused. “You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you.”
“So you've been sitting in your driveway, in the back of a limo, watching me while I slept?” I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes for a moment. Under my breath, I muttered, “Yeah, that's not creepy at all.”
“You did say we needed to talk.”
I opened my eyes to find that smug smile back on his face. The fact that his nose was slightly puffy made it a bit less irritating. But only a little bit less.
The door next to me opened and I stared at the hand extended by the driver. I wasn’t opposed to men opening doors for me. I actually rather enjoyed it. But I wasn’t entirely sure just what I was willing to accept from Ash right now, and that included things like a hand from the man he paid to chauffeur him around. Ignoring the proffered hand, I climbed out on my own and turned to give the car a pointed look as Ash got out on the other side.
“You know,” I said. “Plenty of people just use a town car to get around New York.”
Ash opened his mouth, then closed it. After a moment, a sheepish expression crossed his face. “Usually I do. Or I drive my Porsche. I thought...” He stopped and shook his head, his cheeks an amusing shade of red. “Never mind. Come on.”
His Porsche? Was he kidding, letting that drop? I let some of my waspish temper out. “Let me guess...you decided to see if you could impress me by calling a limo to pick us up?”
His shoulders stiffened. To my surprise, he turned and met my gaze. He didn’t answer right away, but rather spoke to his driver, “Lewis, I’ll let you know if I’ll need you later. Thank you.”
As the man climbed back into the car, Ash reached up to rub at his jaw. After the limo pulled away, Ash came towards me. With just a few seconds, he was closer than I liked. Close enough that I could smell the heady, masculine scent of him, and it brought back memories of his body rubbing against mine, his hands on my hips, in my hair, tugging, pulling, driving me on.
“I never make an effort to impress people, Toni. It just happens,” he said, his voice low. “Did I use the limo to maybe throw you off balance?” He half-smirked. “Obviously, it didn’t work.”
“I just spent the night in jail being propositioned by a hooker.” I gave him a brightly false smile. “You’ll have to try harder.”
I cut around him and headed up the steps. My legs felt like blocks of cement and my eyes seemed to be coated with sand. The little nap in the limo had helped a bit. If I could get some coffee and use a bathroom for about five minutes, I’d be good to go for a few hours.
I caught sight of Doug as I stepped inside the house. His face softened when he saw me. I knew he'd been hoping I was Isadora, but he didn't show any disappointment.
“Ms. Gallagher.” He smiled. “Is there anything I can get you?”
I smiled back, grateful he wasn't mentioning anything about the arrest. Then again, it was possible he didn't know. “I’d love some coffee.”
The butler nodded. “Just a moment then.”
As he disappeared, I glanced over my shoulder at Ash as he walked into the house. “I’m using the restroom.”
I didn’t go to the closest one, however. That was the one Ash and I had been in when we'd heard the news about Isadora...after we'd gotten a little too friendly with each other. The thought of being in there again...even thinking about it was enough to make my nipples draw tight.
Distance. I needed distance and probably a solid hit upside the head to knock these insane thoughts out.
Ducking into the larger bathroom just off the main hall, I locked the door and pressed my back against it. I closed my eyes, and took a slow deep breath. I did it again and again until my brain felt a little more awake and my mood felt level. Only then did I open my eyes and go over to the sink.
A few seconds of digging around unearthed a variety of expensive toiletries. Never let it be said that the Lang family didn’t know how to provide for unexpected company. I scrubbed my face, then did a quick wash-up before freshening up with lotion and one of the small deodorants I found. The place was better than a hotel. By the time I was done, I felt marginally better. I used the toilet, washed my hands and brushed my teeth. I felt almost human again.
As I was rinsing, I heard a knock on the door.
“A moment.”
When I opened the door, Beth was standing there, a small bundle in her hands. She looked older than she had when she'd told us about Isadora being gone. Older and almost fragile. “Doug thought you might like to change your clothes. These should fit.”
“I...ah...” I hesitated, then looked down. It took only a glance at the clothes I’d been wearing for way too long and I nodded, taking the garments with a grateful smile.
I left the bathroom wearing a silk blouse and a loose pair of trousers. The entire outfit probably cost more than I made in a month, the silk sliding against my skin and making me very aware of the inexpensive panties and bra I put with the rest of my inexpensive clothes. My skin was flushed as I stepped out of the restroom, self-conscious of my lack of undergarments.
Ash was waiting in the room Isadora and I usually used. I almost turned around and walked back out, but this was where my purse was and I'd be damned if I gave Ash the satisfaction of knowing how much he disconcerted me.
Ash turned to look at me, but before he could say anything, Doug came in, pushing a wheeled cart. There was a silver pot of coffee, and my belly started to rumble as I caught the scent of food.
“I didn’t know if you’d eaten, Miss Toni.” The older gentleman gave me a smile.
The yowling of my belly at that precise moment seemed to be answer enough. Blushing, I pressed a hand to it. “I had a bagel earlier.”
“Perhaps you’d like something more filling?”
“You're my hero, Doug. Thank you.”
He gave me a nod, then left without looking at Ash. Neither one spoke, and the silence was filled with ice.
“He seems mad at you,” I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee.
“They all are.” Ash sounded weary.
I didn't have any sympathy for him. “Have you put them up for the chopping block yet?”
“I’m...” He blew out a breath. “I’m not going to fire them. Isadora...” The hesitation was almost imperceptible. “She’s in charge of the household staff. She’d never forgive me if I did anything like that...rashly.”
“Hmmm.” I wondered why the staff was mad, but I didn't ask. It wasn't my business.
I sipped the coffee, desperate for the buzz of caffeine. On the cart was selection of light sandwiches, fruits and cheese. I took a plate and filled it with a bit of everything before heading over to a chair. It faced outside, which meant it was angled away from the couch so, if I wanted, I didn’t even have to look at Ash.
“I’m sorry.”
I glanced at him as I took another sip of my coffee. “So you’ve said.” His nose looked more swollen and discolored in this light. “Does your nose hurt?”
His lips twitched. “Have you ever been hit in the nose?”
“Yep.”
“Then what do you think?”
I grinned at him. “That it hurts like a bitch.” I paused, and couldn't help but add, “I’m not sorry.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to be.” He moved from the couch to the chair across from me, his expression serious. “I don’t know where to go from here.”
“I’d rather you not keep apologizing.” I kept my voice nonchalant. Selecting a strawberry, I popped it into my mouth and waited until after I swallowed before I said anything else. “I get it, you’re sorry. I’m sure you regret it. And I bet you’d do the same thing tomorrow if you thought it necessary.”
“Not to you.”
My hand stilled over the plate and I pulled it back to drop it onto my lap.
“You want me to believe that?” The question came out flat.
“I don’t expect you to,” he said softly. “But it’s the truth.”
He closed his hands into fists, then opened them, flexing as he stared off into the distance. “It won’t help, but I’d like to explain, if I could.”
“Feel free.” I shrugged and settled more comfortably in my chair, prepared to be entertained if nothing else.
***
Entertained...
That wasn’t the word I was thinking right now.
I was...disgusted. Disillusioned. Tired. Not even close to entertained.
After reading the PI's report a second time, I tossed it on the table and stood up, moving over to the window and staring outside.
Ash had explained everything in short, simple terms and then he’d given me the images that had been shot of me with my brother, and all of the ones taken of us at my parents’ house. There had been a report too. A neat and concise one that started with all our meetings together and ended with an in-depth report on my brother's history.
Including his arrest on felony drug charges when he'd been eighteen. But Ash had already known about that. I knew for a fact that he did because I'd been the one who'd told him.
What I hadn't told him about were the rumors. Specifically, the ones about Vic being involved in a kidnapping attempt.
“Vic wasn’t trying to kidnap that girl,” I said softly, staring out the window. “He was the reason she was rescued.”
“It doesn’t matter. Toni, I–”
Slowly, I turned to him. The look in his eyes was carefully blank, but I knew what that meant. He didn’t believe me.
“He wasn’t involved,” I said again, carefully and slowly saying each word. No one outside of our family and a couple of cops knew what I was about to say, but Ash needed to hear it. “Vic was supposed to be flirting with her, charming her...then when he asked her out, he was supposed to grab her. He went to the police instead. He wore a wire. For two whole days, he wore a wire. If he’d been found out, he could have been killed. My brother is the reason that girl didn’t end up dead.”
Ash started to say something and then he stopped, shaking his head.
I grabbed the report and wadded it up into a ball. “Ask your source if he had access to confidential reports or to the undercover officers in the gang unit. Because that's who my brother was working with. If your source hasn’t talked to one of them, he doesn’t know shit. Vic risked his life to save that girl and if anyone ever found out what he'd done, his life would be at risk again.” Wrapping my arms around my middle, I turned back to the window. “Some things are worth more than money.”
He was quiet for so long that when he did speak, I actually jumped a little.
“I know you don’t want me to keep apologizing.”
He was closer now. Nervously, I darted a look back at him. He was only a foot away. “No. I don’t.”
“Want to take another swing at me then?”
My gaze dropped to his nose. Then, to my surprise, I laughed. “No.” Flexing my right hand, I winced at the bruises. “You’ve got a face like a rock. Next time you need to get hit, I’ll let Franky do it.”
“But you seemed to enjoy it so much.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice.
I shrugged. “There’s something to be said for a physical outlet when it comes to blowing off steam.” I kept my voice light, but I made the mistake of looking at him when I said it.
Our gazes connected.
Heat arced, snapped.
I spun around. I should go. I really, really should go.
“If you’re still in the need to blow off steam, I have an idea.”
***
Blowing off steam didn’t involve a bed.
Part of me – a very bad, bad part of me – was disappointed. Not that I would've given in anyway. Sex with Ash was one thing I didn’t plan on letting happen again. Ever again.
But this, well, this wasn’t bad.
Instead of suggesting we go to his bedroom, his playroom or even the couch, he’d escorted me down to a personal gym that was better outfitted than some of the ones I’d seen people pay for.
We weren’t using any of the equipment, though.
I had a pair of gloves on, as well as padded protectors on my feet. Ash had told me they weren’t necessary, but then I’d caught him with a roundhouse to the side of the head, and he’d decided that maybe they weren’t a bad idea. Then he’d grinned and come at me.
We were now flat on the floor. Ash had dropped down first after we’d agreed to a time-out. Right after he’d gotten me in the ribs with a punch I hadn't been able to block, I’d plowed a sidekick directly into his gut and knocked the air right out of him.
Panting, more than a little exhilarated, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on letting my pulse slow.
“I haven’t had a match like that in a long while.”
I twitched and opened my eyes. Ash rolled over to his stomach and was staring at me, his eyes just a few inches away.
Sweat gleamed along his shoulders and as I stared at him, one bead started to roll down his jaw to his neck.
I had an overpowering urge to lean in and lick it away.
Bad, bad, bad thoughts. Pull it together.
His gaze slid to my mouth.
I rolled away from him and got to my feet. My legs were rubbery under me and I covered my nervousness with a laugh that sounded so fake. I grabbed some water and gulped down half a bottle before turning towards him.
Ash had risen and was staring at me, his gaze hot and intent. My heart was still racing away, but it wasn’t all from exertion now. He came toward me and my fingers tightened around the water bottle. Anticipation clamored inside me while common sense tried to get a foothold.
But he veered to the left and I spent the next few seconds telling myself I w
asn’t disappointed while he chugged water. He’d stripped away his shirt and swapped out his trousers for a pair of loose gym shorts. For the past thirty minutes, that hot body had been moving with mine and I’d been almost immune.
Of course, we’d been otherwise engaged, and I'd managed to preoccupy myself with punches and kicks.
Now though...
I busied myself with screwing the top back on the water bottle, my head lowered as I studied his physique from under my lashes. He was seriously a walking work of art, everything about him wonderfully defined, strong shoulders, his pecs solid and tapering down to a flat, chiseled abdomen and narrow hips.
I could remember sinking my nails into those hips, gripping him as he'd ridden me, driving me to the heights of pleasure.
He looked up as that thought flickered through my mind as if he'd heard the echo of it. He sucked in a harsh breath and closed the distance between us. We stood barely a foot apart now. Close enough that he could he reach out and touch me. Close enough that he could reach out and grab me, kiss me, take me...
Please...
His body tensed.
I caught my breath, held it.
Then he turned away.
“There's a shower you can use down here,” he said, his voice brusque. Gesturing off to the far side of the sleek gym, he added, “Feel free to use whatever you need. Iz...sometimes she has friends drop by and hang out for a while so there's always plenty of toiletries, extra clothes in different sizes. Take whatever you need.”
An ache pulsed deep inside as he strode away and before I could even say anything more than thanks, he was gone.
***
He wasn't upstairs when I finished. Torn between leaving and looking for him, I wandered back to the small sitting room. I had some vague thought of trying to get some work done, but I'd reached the point where there really wasn't much I could do until either a few people got back to me or Isadora returned.
So I didn't have anything left to distract me from my memories.
Ash had been such an ass earlier and it was foolish of me to think a round of sparring had changed anything. I should just leave. I didn't need to be here. For that matter, I could just let him know to call me when there was news, and let my dad know I'd help out with the family business temporarily. My father would understand. It was the perfectly logical thing to do.