by Alexis Angel
Finally, resigned, I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I look back at Kerri's picture. It hits me. While I'm innocent of the crime that I'm doing time for, it's fucking karma.
Kerri
This guy looks familiar. I've seen this spider web tattoo before—yes, that's right. Now I can place him. He's the man who cracked Lucien's clavicle.
"It hurts right here," he says, pointing to his ribs. He's mouthing this to me through the glass door, and I'm reading his lips. The guards are changing shifts and it seems odd that he's standing outside of my door unattended. He has a wild look in his eyes and a strange feeling settles into my gut, but he grimaces and the skin around his eyes wrinkle, and I feel bad. Maybe he's just in a lot of pain and needs treatment. I'm sure someone must have sent him. It's my job to help these people without bias, right?
"Can you describe the pain that you're feeling?" I ask. I'm talking loudly and using hand gestures through the glass.
He has a confused look on his face. "I can't hear you."
I repeat myself, this time even louder. I'm practically yelling.
He shakes his head. "I still can't hear you." And then I see him grimace again, and he is bending over at the waist, holding his side. It looks like it could be serious and I hold a debate in my head. Should I open the door? One part of me says I should have opened it when he approached. This inmate deserves treatment and should be examined. But the other part of me knows that it's inherently dangerous to treat patients without the safety net of a guard standing nearby. I look at him again and feel bad, so I decide to open the door. Kindness wins.
"Come in," I say. "Let me take a look."
He takes a step toward me and it's like he is suddenly free of his pain. He looks around. He peers down the hall and takes a quick mental survey of the room. Then his eyes settle on mine. It's as if he's undressing me with his stare. I take a step backward, and he moves toward me, closing the distance between us. He's now so close that it's unnerving and I'm having second thoughts.
My pulse quickens and I say, "You should have a seat over there. A guard will be here shortly and I can start some x-rays." But it's clear he isn't listening and I know I've made a terrible mistake. One of the nurses left a bottle of hairspray on the desk and instinctively I grab it. I figure it's my only protection. Maybe I'll spray it in his eyes. I mean, I don't have anything else nearby to use. But he sees this and smiles. The way his mouth curls up—as if he's enjoying this—makes my blood run cold. My heart is thumping in my chest like a rabbit caught in a steel trap. What the hell am I going to do if a guard doesn't come in here soon? I don't stand a chance against this man. Shit, why didn't I sign up for that self defense class I always wanted to take months ago?
I begin to raise the bottle of hairspray for protection but he knocks it out of my hand with force and the bottle smacks against the floor and rolls under the desk. I then feel his tight grip on my arm. He's squeezing so hard that marks are forming. I try to pull it back, but his grip only becomes stronger. "If you cooperate—and I guarantee you'll want to cooperate with me doll—this is going to be a whole lot easier for you," he says, his hot breath on my ear and neck. I feel sick.
I have so much adrenaline coursing through my body that my vision becomes blurred. It feels like televisions are positioned behind my eyes. Flight or fight is taking over and despite what he has just told me, I want to run—I want to run as fast as I can and never stop. But that's not what happens. I'm practically frozen with fear and when that fear thaws just enough for me to try and yank my arm free from his grip, he grabs a fistful of my hair in his other hand and pushes me toward the desk.
"Bend over!" he snarls.
"You don't have to do this. Let me go, please—we can pretend this never happened."
"Shut the fuck up! I warned you—I told you to cooperate and by the looks of things, you're not listening. Big mistake."
His body is pressed against mine and my scalp is hurting from how hard he is pulling my hair. He finally lets go—just long enough to firmly grab my hips—and he bends me over the desk with force. His body is pushing into mine. I can barely breath with his weight on top of me and I'm now face down. The top of the desk is fogging up with my frantic breathing. I try to scramble free—maybe I can wiggle out from under him, but this effort only makes him angry. He grabs the back of my neck and squeezes hard, keeping his grip firm and pushing my head down.
"Stay still, doll—I mean it—I'm not fucking playing around."
He grabs my pants and yanks them down to my knees and he again presses his body into mine. I can feel his hard cock against my ass. I'm gripping the desk so hard that the blood seems to have left my hands and my knuckles are white. I feel him pulling down the band to his own pants and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can't believe this is happening. His body is grinding against mine. I go to scream, but it comes out as a squeak—feeble. It's like having a dream where you are being chased, and instead of having the ability to run, your body seems to move even slower, betraying you. I try to scream again and this time it comes out louder.
"I told you to—" he begins to say, and then stops. I feel his body move. He releases his grip and I can breathe again. Now's my chance to try and run.
I hear a loud smack and he stumbles back.
"I should have finished you off back in the yard—should have really fucked you up and taught you a lesson!" a familiar voice growls.
I grab my pants, pulling them up frantically and I retreat to a far corner of the room because the door is now blocked by not one, but two men. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with what I'm seeing, but it's true.
It's Lucien.
I watch as he pulls his arm back—his tense muscles quivering, and connects his fist into the man's face with a sick-sounding crack. A thick stream of blood flows down his face and I watch as he spits a tooth onto the floor. The man tries to retaliate but Lucien blocks the punch and delivers two swift blows to his body and by the looks of it—if his ribs were fine before, they certainly aren't now. He's doubled over but Lucien is rage blind, and doesn't stop until three guard finally rush in. They are holding cans of mace and they waste no time spraying it at my attacker and Lucien. Both men stumble and blink back the burn, their eyes red and watering.
"Grab 'em!" one guard yells, and I watch as they are both handcuffed and dragged out of the room, a trail of blood following them out the door.
"Kerri! Kerri! Oh my god, what happened?" another guard asks, rushing to my side.
"I'm okay," I say. "I'm shaken, but I'm okay. I was assaulted—inmate Stone came to my aid."
"Let's get you checked," he says, but I shake my head.
"There's no need—honest. I just want to go home."
The residual fumes from the mace are still hanging in the air and my eyes begin to water. It looks like I'm crying but it's from the intense, lingering burn. I wipe them with shirtsleeve and as I do this, I look at the ground and I see something blue out of the corner of my eye—my journal. How did it get on the ground? I know it wasn't there earlier. I rush over and scoop it up, quickly thumbing through the pages to see if everything is still intact and my eyes land on a page. I see marks that are clearly not mine. In thick pencil, two words have been circled over and over—The Alcove.
And then I remember Lucien. He must've had my journal. These marks have to be from him. If he hadn't have walked in—no, my mind can't follow that thought any further and I shudder. I don't know what would've happened if he wouldn't have been here, and I don't want to know.
I owe my life to him.
Lucien
This time doesn't feel so bad. I mean, it's solitary, which mean it isn't fun, but at least this time I'm in here for a good reason. I was trying to return Kerri's journal, and good fucking thing I decided to grow a conscience. I couldn't keep that book of hers any more. That woman is like a fucking saint. Kerri. God she's too good for this place. What timing, right? I'm glad I was there to kick his ass. I couldn't let that fat bastard
get away with attacking her—or worse. I'd do it all over again.
I'm sitting with my back against the door when I hear the lock unlatching and a guard walks in. I turn around to get a good look at him. From the look on his face, he's all business.
"On your feet Stone. It's time for your exam."
I do as I'm instructed and I stand up. I grimace a bit, but suck it back. I landed on my ankle wrong in yesterday's fight, and I think it’s a bad sprain. I've had this before. I hobble over to the guard with a pronounced limp and he places the handcuffs around my wrists.
"What do you think I'm going to do?" I ask. "You think I'm gonna run or put up a fight with this ankle?"
"This is protocol Stone. Save your questions and come with me."
We walk out of the cell and down the hall, and continue walking. I look at the other cell doors and wonder how many people are currently being held in solitary. We walk until we reach the infirmary. I sit in a plastic chair to take the weight off of my ankle. It feels good to be off it. It was a bigger pain in the ass getting here than I thought it'd be. And then, a few moments later, I see her in the doorway. Her hair is alight with the sun from the window and her breasts are firm and I can't stop looking at them. I tell myself to look at her face and not her tits, but I can't help it. I immediately want to reach out and touch her—to touch that red halo of hers. To let her know that she's made me want to be a better man.
"Come on in and have a seat," she says, motioning toward the room.
I walk into the exam room and I notice that she is giving me a soft smile and it's taking everything I've got to not touch her and tell her what's on my mind. I want to kiss her and breathe in her scent.
"Go head and lie back for me," she says, patting the table, and the guard takes my handcuffs off so that I can lie back. The guard then steps outside of the room and we find ourselves alone. She asks me if anything is hurt and I tell her about my ankle. I'm also careful to say that I don't think it's anything serious, but she says she wants to take a look anyways.
"Can you rotate it?" she asks, and while I can, technically, it hurts something fierce, like someone has lit a match in a gas tank. But then I feel her hands stop. They're resting on my ankle, ever so softly. She looks at me and then slowly drags her hand up my leg. I'm wondering just how high up her hands are going to go.
"You'll be okay," she says.
"What makes you so sure?" I reply. "I'm stuck in here for life. I'll never be okay with that. If I had the opportunity—another chance—if I could rewind my life—I'd do a lot differently. I've been wrongly convicted—I don't expect you to believe that because you probably hear that from men all the time in this place, but for me, it's the truth. But I've hurt people, and I've fucked a lot of things up, and those are the things I would change if I could rewind and do it all over again."
She ignores my question. "I want to thank you for yesterday—you saved my life—I owe you."
"You don't owe me anything."
"That's where you're wrong—I do."
She places one delicate finger on my lips, and rubs them softly. She then rubs the back of her hand affectionately against my cheek. The gesture is so tender. But her movements then change and I feel her once again touching my legs. She is slowly working her way to my thighs. She is letting her hands wander, and is now touching my abs—gently raking the tips of her fingers against the ridges, and then dragging them up and across my chest, stopping to swirl her finger around one of my nipples. Desire is starting to swell inside of me. I can feel it flaring through my groin. Her fingers dip down to the waistband of my pants and my cock twitches. I feel it harden in anticipation. I look at her mouth—her pink lips—and can imagine them wrapped around my cock—wet and tight. We both look at each other. We look at the doorway. There's still no guard in sight; we're in the clear, but we know our time is limited. We can read each other's thoughts without saying a word. We're treading dangerous territory; we can both be in trouble—we know that there are serious repercussions for this, but this thought only spurs us on.
She wets her hand with her mouth and then moves her hand inside of my pants and reaches for my cock.
"Shh…" she says, looking at me. So I let her lead. Her firm grip takes me by surprise, and she begins to move her hand in slow, rhythmic strokes. And then she's jerking my cock hard, in a fast rhythm that causes me to let out a low guttural moan no matter how much I try to suppress it. I grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut. Her touch is almost too much to bear. I feel an electric buzz traveling down the length of my spine and my balls clench. I brace myself. She can sense that I'm on the verge, and she jerks me faster, slowing only momentarily to spread her fingers against the tip of my glans and again, I can't help but moan in a near whisper. "Oh fuck, you're good," I whisper.
Waves of pleasure are washing over every muscle in my body and I still don't dare to open my eyes. I figure if this is a dream, I never want to wake up.
She spurs her movements and I can't hold it back any longer. Just like that, an explosion works its way through my body and my cock is spasming against her hand and then it shoots thick ropes of cum—the ropes turn into a river and some of it splashes onto her cheek. I keep gushing into her hand, and even when I don't think I have anything left in me, she continues to milk me. Finally, it slows and I exhale deeply. I watch as she raises her cum-filled hand to her mouth and I know she isn't finished. She wants more. She is ravenous. She opens her mouth wide and sticks her tongue out, licking the white cum until her tongue is coated with it. She continues until her entire mouth is filled with my warm cum, and watching this makes my cock twitch again. She then picks up the cum from her cheek with two fingers and I watch as she then slides those same two fingers into her mouth, sucking them dry and then swallowing all of the cum inside of her mouth.
She then glides her tongue across her lips, licking them to pick up every last drop of my cum that she can find. When all of the cum is gone, it's as if the spell is lifted and the reality of our situation hovers over us again. I want to embrace her, but I can't.
"I know this is wrong," she says.
"If it's wrong, I don't ever want to be right."
Kerri
I don't know what came over me. One minute, I'm thinking about getting as far away from this place and Lucien as possible—maybe finding a hospital job—anything outside the walls of this prison—and the next minute, I have his cock in my hands. Lucien Stone. The man who saved my life. There's something about him that makes me want to make bad decisions—to say the hell with it to everything I thought I knew. The moment I see him, I want to be defiled by him. Shit, why does life have to feel so cruel? You'd think I would've learned my lesson after Jonathan.
I think back to the phone call I had with my best friend Brie last night. I was sitting on the couch, sipping a glass of wine to try and unwind my nerves because I was feeling anxious and tight as a rubber band, and I found myself posting an offhand, cryptic comment about the assault on Facebook: "Sometimes, kindness doesn't win; it breaks you," it read. I wasn't ready to lay it all out there and explain everything in detail, but I at least needed to get that much off my chest. Within minutes people where commenting and wondering what I meant by that. My closest friends were especially concerned, and then my phone rang. I debated whether or not to pick it up. I prefer text messages, but I saw that it was Brie and it's rare that she ever calls, so I thought I better answer.
"Ker—are you okay, girl? I saw your post. I have cat-like reflexes when something sounds wrong because I've known you for so long. So tell me the truth. You know I'm here for you."
"I'm fine—really, it was just work. Some psycho inmate tried to attack me."
"Oh my god, what happened?"
I proceed to recount the events for her and I could almost imagine her shaking her head on the other end of the line. "You've got to get out of that place. Seriously—and before you protest—I know you're tough—there's nothing to prove—but that place is a shithole. Com
e meet me in Florida. I'll set you up with something better."
"I wish I could, but I can't."
"Okay, let me stop you right there, and I swear to god I'm not trying to sound cheesy, but Ker—you know the old saying that the only thing holding you back is yourself? I hate to say it—and don't get defensive—but that's you right now. You CAN get out of there. It's simple. You just pack your shit and leave."
"I'm not ready to pack up and leave."
"Why? Because you've suddenly grown a soft spot for psycho inmates?"
She had no way of knowing it, but that question had some serious truth to it. I hesitated, and wondered whether or not I should tell her about Lucien. Would she even understand? I decided that if I were going to share this with anyone, it would be with Brie.
"Yes and no," I said.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I might have a soft spot for an inmate, but not for the one who attacked me."
"Get the fuck out of here! You have to be joking. Please tell me you're joking, Ker."
"I wish I were, but I'm not. I'm serious as a heart attack."
I could hear her let out a long breath. "Well, shit. Who is he? He's hot isn't he? I can tell by the way your voice just went up an octave."
"It did not go up an octave," I say, rolling my eyes and thankful she can't see the warm flush creeping across my face. Maybe I'm just feeling warm from the wine.
"Just admit it," she prodded again.
"He's hot for a convict, okay? He's a little rough around the edges and I know he's not someone I should be falling for, but seeing him lying there on the exam table—"
Brie cut me off. "Wait—so you've seen him naked and sized up the whole package?"
"Well, I—uh, I may have done a little more than that."
"Shut up! You fucked this man?"
"No, no, no! I didn't mean that—I mean, he saved me from being attacked, and of course I've had to examine him, and—you know what? Never mind. Let's pretend I never mentioned it."