by Alexis Angel
My legs buckle and everything is black.
Lucien
The chicken tastes like shit. The mashed potatoes taste even worse.
But who am I kidding? The entire prison is a piece of shit place. It’s peeling, crumbling, dirty, dank, infested, and full of fucking misery.
I can’t believe I used to be happy in this dump.
But that’s when she was here.
I know what you’re thinking. You probably hate my fucking guts. More than when you first met me.
But I had to do it. You saw what Grinder said. You saw what they did to me.
I’ve been around places like this a lot in my fucking life. I know when shit’s serious and when it’s just people talking. And there's no way they were just talking with empty fucking threats there.
I couldn’t take the fucking chance. Not when I love her. Not when she’s carrying my baby.
So, I do the only thing that I can do in this situation. I close my eyes and scoop mashed potatoes into my mouth.
It tastes like fucking garbage.
“If you’re not going to eat your food, I’ll have some,” a voice says and I sigh because I would recognize that fucking voice anywhere. The guy who started all this.
“What the fuck do you want, Spider?” I ask not even bothering to open my eyes. “She’s gone, ain’t nothing I can do for you no more.”
There’s a long pause on the other side of the table and then Spider sighs.
“See, I already knew that, amigo,” he says in his nasally voice and if my eyes were open and looking at him, I’d be fucking rolling them at him right now. “That’s kind of why I’m here actually. You snitched to the Warden so she’d be safe. I understand that. The problem is she’s not.”
Now my eyes are open and I’m looking straight at the motherfucker. If something’s happened to Kerri….
I clutch my tray, ready to use it as a weapon in case I need to. Spider sees this and backs away in his seat a little bit.
“Now, hear me out before you do anything crazy, man,” Spider says hurriedly with nervous fear coating his words. “You don’t want to do anything drastic.”
It seriously takes all my mental strength to keep from flinging the food off the tray and grabbing Spider by the shirt with one hand while I use the tray as a blade, swiping at his neck. I could kill that rascally motherfucker right now if I needed to.
But what would happen to Kerri?
Is he even telling the truth about her being in danger? Or is this just another big laugh that he’s having?
“Where is she?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even.
Spider takes a big sigh, as if he’s doing this against his will.
“So, Grinder thought that there was a chance after our last…meeting…that you might try to do something to get that bitch out of the prison,” Spider says, trying to affect an air of nonchalance. “So he had her watched. If she left the prison for whatever reason, it would probably be because of you. Looks like he was right.”
“What’s happened to her?” I ask Spider and without waiting for an answer I start to warn him, “If you’ve done something to her, I swear to fucking God that I will…”
I don’t get a chance to answer.
“Hold up, man, she’s fine,” Spider says, trying to quiet me down from getting worked up. “At least she will be if you cooperate.”
I’m still seeing red, but at this point if Spider is telling me she’s fine, I’m at least calming down a bit. Can I trust him? Not one bit. But it’s not in his interest to lie to me right now. He knows that I know him too and can tell when he’s lying.
“What do you want?” I ask. It’s a simple question but its clear that she’s being held so that I can do something for them.
“Well, actually, now that you mention it,” Spider says as he takes out a folded piece of paper from the front pocket of his prison jumpsuit. “There are a few things that Grinder would like you to do to ensure her safety.”
Why the fuck am I not surprised? I hold my tongue until Spider unfolds the paper and hands it to me. I start reading.
“Grinder wants you to take Kerri hostage when she comes to see you,” Spider says. “And don’t worry, she will come to see you. You can see for yourself that she hasn’t been harmed at that time, man.”
I keep reading.
The instructions on the paper are quite clear and in simple bullet points. First, I take Kerri hostage. That part is actually doable, now that I think about it. There’s only one guard in the area watching the conversations. And while it is true that we are divided and have to talk by phone, it’s not that difficult to overpower the guard and use the door that separates the two of us.
There are two cameras in the visitors reception area. I’m supposed to use them to let everyone know I’ve taken Kerri hostage and what my demands are.
Once I take Kerri hostage, I have to negotiate with the Warden to removes the guards that stand watch over the prison yard. I think I know which way this is going. The south entrance, or Visitor’s Entrance, feeds past the prison yard. Without any guards there and with open doors, prisoners will be able to get out into the open air if they make it into the prison yard.
Whatever I do, I’m not supposed to flee into the prison or take out the cameras. The cameras should be my main source of communication. And if I need to get a better vantage point, I should go toward the Visitor’s Entrance to the prison, not into it.
And finally, after a sufficient amount of time has passed, I can release Kerri and I’m on my own to do whatever I want.
“After about thirty minutes or so, you're free to do whatever you want with that bitch, because Grinder won’t need you at that point,” Spider says, leaning back in his chair.
I look up from the paper toward Spider. “You know it’ll never work trying to escape this place from the prison yard, right?” I ask. Grinder’s a fool for even trying to consider it. “The sharpshooters on the towers will take out anyone who makes it past the fences.”
Spider shrugs. He doesn't say anything.
“Why would Grinder waste an opportunity like this to try such a stupid escape plan?” I ask Spider. “If I’m going to be the one doing this, I need to fucking know.”
And it’s a fair question. If I’m going to be taking my girlfriend hostage after I cost her a job, I need to know how this is all going to play out in the end. It’s still my job to protect her. Even if I am going to be her fucking captor in doing it.
Spider looks at me for a long minute. He can see that I’m serious in my question and finally he relents.
“No one is going to be escaping from the prison yard, amigo,” Spider says at last. “All you’re doing is creating a distraction for Grinder and me…and a few of his boys to go out a separate way.”
So that’s it. While I’m distracting the entire prison on one side, he plans to be going out through another route that not that many people will be watching for. Creating a distraction that’s big enough here, so no one sees what’s happening over there.
“The Warden would hunt you guys down like fucking roaches,” I hiss.
“Not if the Deputy Warden sends everyone on the wrong track, boss,” Spider replies back with a forceful whisper. “And by the time he corrects his mistakes, we’re long gone underground.”
Fuck. That makes sense now how much Grinder is always able to get away with certain things. The Deputy Warden is dirty. That’s exactly how Grinder knew what I did to protect Kerri. And that’s how he’s going to escape.
Normally, an escape from prison is a long shot at best.
But with a corrupt Deputy Warden, it could just work.
“What’s in it for me?” I ask. This could be my ticket out. I have to explore it. If I could get out, I could live outside these walls. I could apologize to Kerri. I could be a real father.
“Nothing,” Spider says, not breaking his stare into my eyes. “Maybe getting to keep your girl safe, if that matters to you, but other than tha
t, you’re not coming with us. You’re probably not doing anything more than starting a riot.”
I look at him wondering what kind of fucking negotiating tactic this is. It’s like he doesn’t even have the decency to fucking lie to me. That’s how fucking little he cares about this.
“So, I get nothing from doing this, then I don’t think I’ll even fucking go see that bitch,” I tell Spider, drawling out my words and taking a scoop of the chicken breast that’s on my tray. “I don’t really need to see her when she comes calling.”
“Grinder’s guys are gonna rape the living shit out of her and then leave her to die if you don’t, boss,” Spider says, his eyes flashing in fear. “You asked what was in it for you and I said nothing, right? That’s because you missed your chance. You took the hand that Grinder gave you in friendship and you just pulled your cock out and pissed on it. We could have all transferred over to St. Simons and then got Grinder to help us get out with his connections. But you took a shit on that. Now, he’s figuring his own way out. And ain’t no seats left on this bus.”
Spider looks like he didn't have to put it in those words. But those are the cards I’m being dealt.
I need a chance to think this through. What if something goes wrong? What if I end up putting Kerri in more danger than she already is? This jail is a violent fucking jungle. Do I really want to bring a pregnant woman into the crossfires of a sniper?
“I need to fucking think about it, man,” I tell Spider, leaning back. “It’s a lot to do.”
Spider shrugs. “That’s fine,” he answers. “But think fast. Because she’s already on her way here.”
“Stone,” a guard calls out from the front of the canteen. “You got a fucking visitor in Room C.”
Fuck. So much for thinking through this.
I get up from my chair, giving one last look to Spider as I head out of the canteen. Whatever happens for the rest of my life is going to come down to this afternoon apparently.
Kerri
“You’ll be okay as long as you do everything I tell you to do,” the Deputy Warden told me as he sat next to me in the car, holding a gun pointed in my direction.
This was maybe an hour after he had knocked me unconscious in my own house. At first when I had woken up, I thought he had come and saved me somehow. Like someone from work had come to my rented house and saved me from the intruder that had attacked me.
Once the fuzzy feeling in my head had cleared up and I began to understand what was happening, I began to piece together what was going on. That Deputy Warden Marshall wasn’t here rescuing me. He was actually the one who had attacked me.
He hadn’t said much, only to do what he told me to do. He made some phone calls.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked him when he hustled me off to my car.
“Drive,” he said. “You’re going back to work.”
He held the gun at me as I climbed into the front seat, backed out of the driveway, and tried to stay calm as I entered traffic heading toward Achillees County Maximum Security Correctional Facility.
“Why are we going back?” I asked.
There came no reply.
“What do you want me to do?”
Again no response.
I started to slow the car. I was on the right side of the freeway. I was thinking of pulling off onto the shoulder to be able to talk to him.
Suddenly, Warden Marshall’s fist rose and he brought it towards my face.
His hit didn’t sting, as much as startle.
“I said keep driving!” Warden Marshall hissed. “Or both you and your boyfriend Lucien are as good as dead.”
Lucien Stone?
What was he involved in all this for? Had Lucien sent Warden Marshall to bring me back? Was I arrested?
No, neither of those could be it. It didn’t make any sense.
But I knew one thing.
“So you’re a corrupt correctional officer, aren’t you, Deputy Marshall?” I asked as I drove, my eyes on the road as I spoke. “What’s going on?”
“Shut up and drive, I swear to fucking God,” he replied, and said nothing else for the entirety of the trip.
* * *
I’m sitting in the visiting area where inmates meet their friends and loved ones. It’s a cold, depressing room, designed to hit home the fact that many of these men on the other side of this wall will never be able to hold their family in their arms again. It's a cruel place. One filled with hopelessness, hate, and despair. And, it’s where I sit now, awaiting Lucien.
The room by itself is antiseptic. There is a table, divided by glass. A guard sits in a small cubicle with a door that leads to my side of the room and one that leads to the side of the room Lucien will sit in. The glass is thick—at least three inches. It’s unbreakable. A closed circuit camera is affixed on the ceiling on either side of the room, watching our movements. Recording our emotions.
I notice all this but stop as I see the door open toward the prison.
A familiar face walks in and I gasp to myself. Even despite the fact that some time has passed, I can’t help but be mesmerized by this man. Even despite the fact that he betrayed me, that he destroyed everything I had done to build myself back up bit by bit, I can’t help but repress a shudder of excitement. And even though he shattered my trust, the reptilian part of my brain thinks back to how that long, thick cock had felt in my hands as I had rubbed it, caressed it, licked it, and sucked it. I can’t help but feel a little tingle down between my legs despite the circumstances.
Lucien’s eyes seem to look me up and down as he scans the room. He stares for a few seconds at the guard and I join him to see what he finds so interesting.
But just as suddenly, Lucien’s standing in front of me, with only inches of glass separating us. I pick up the phone and place it to my ear as Lucien sits down.
“Kerri…” Lucien starts.
But I haven’t forgotten the reason I’m here. Don’t worry. Left on my own, I would never be here. Or at least that’s what I’m telling you right now. But who knows? Because now that I'm here, I wonder why I didn’t come before. If only to gaze at the man I love. At the father of the baby I’m carrying.
If I do nothing else today, I should tell him that he’s going to be a father. Because despite the danger that I’m in, and the hurt that he’s caused me, I somehow still love this man.
“Lucien, I need to tell you something…” I begin, but this time he interrupts me.
“I need to tell you something first,” he says and this time he doesn’t stop or give me a chance to say anything. “I know why you’re here. Are you okay?”
That takes me by surprise. Was he a part of this? No, it can’t be.
“The Deputy Marshall,” Lucien says, leaning closer to me, as if whispering, while actually talking into the phone. “He’s dirty, right?”
I nod. I don’t know if they’re recording this. Lucien glances at the guard to see if he’s gotten any reaction. But the guard simply sits there, watching us. Of course they have the power to tap our conversation, but apparently they aren’t giving any credence to what Lucien is saying. Deputy Marshall must have realized that when he brought me here. He just didn't care.
“Are you okay?” Lucien asks.
I nod again. I wonder if Lucien is part of this.
“Those fuckers,” Lucien growls to himself and I start to think that he had no control over me sitting here. “If I ever get a chance to I’ll kill them myself.”
That’s when I start to believe that most likely Lucien had no intention of bringing me back to this place.
“I need to tell you something…” I try again, but again he interrupts me.
Remind me if I ever get out of this place to tell Lucien how much I hate it when he interrupts me. It’s almost as if I wasn’t—
“I love you so much, Kerri Curtis,” Lucien says, looking at me. His fingers touch the wall that separates us. “I fucking love you so fucking much.”
Well, that s
tops me short.
I remain silent. Thinking of all the feelings of betrayal. The anger. The Ben & Jerry’s.
“Baby,” I say slowly, not looking at his face. I pause and take a deep breath. Here goes fucking nothing, as Lucien would put it. “I’m pregnant.”
I look up at him to see his reaction. Will it be anger? Joy? Despair at being behind bars?
“We’re pregnant,” I say again to him as his face registers no surprise. “You and I. It’s your baby.”
There’s nothing from Lucien. I start to worry. I mean, most men would have some reaction, right?
Finally, Lucien speaks.
“I know,” he says simply.
I’m silent for a moment.
Okay, that was not really what I was expecting. Not one bit. I mean, am I getting fat already?
“I saw the ultrasound the other day when we were together,” he says simply, his eyes looking into mine. “And when you didn't listen to me about getting out of here, I had to do the only thing I could to make sure I was protecting you. Protecting both of you.”
If he had reached over and walked through the glass, I couldn’t have been more surprised.
Lucien…knew?
That’s why he came forward and confessed our relationship and got me fired?
To protect me?
A mix of emotions goes through my head. Rage at not telling me. Embarrassment for ever doubting his love for me. Regret at not telling him sooner.
But overpowering all of that to the point of obsolescence is one single overriding feeling.
Love. For Lucien Stone.
Even as a prisoner with a fraction of the freedoms that I enjoy, Lucien found a way to protect me. And I know in that moment that despite the danger that I’m in, with the Deputy Warden up to something, that Lucien will protect me.
I’m beginning to seriously doubt that he had anything at all to do with the Deputy Warden bringing me here.
“Kerri,” Lucien says and I lean forward, bringing the phone closer as my fingers touch the glass where his are. “I need to tell you something.”
I nod to him. I’m all ears.