by A M Russell
We come to a turn. There it is…. Some sort of rocky wall and a narrow gap. We will just fit through. Olivier stopped the transport. ‘This is insane. We need to do a recce. We cannot just drive into a trap!’
‘Alright. Take the small ruck sacks and the breathing sets. I want you both on the open channel at all times.’
‘Who?
‘You and Jared. Snap to it boys!’
We had our orders. And even though I was uncertain about the wisdom of leaving Marcia, Davey and Joe with Janey. I felt that on the whole we needed to see what really was ahead, before we drove straight into something that we couldn’t get out of.
As it turned out. A few yards ahead, there was clear way to get through. We returned to the transport, and slowly piloted it through this short channel. Oliver muttered something about being “blessed by the holy mother beyond our deserving”; and after muttering to himself in Welsh, in a low torrent of comment that sounded suspiciously like prayers of thanks for safe deliverance; we found a quiet little valley with a hill just above, only a few feet high. The signal for the relay was good here.
‘We need to get below the snow and ice.’ said Janey Amber.
I didn’t dare venture an opinion. But Oliver’s feelings of disquiet boiled over then, ’Just shut the fuck up!!’ he said, and glared at her.
For such a God fearing Man, he really knew how to use the choice expletives when the occasion demanded it. The freaky weather showed no signs of abating. And despite reassurances from Janey that we would be out of this if we just dropped a few hundred feet; Marcia said that we would camp there.
*****
Eleven
It was like our time in the cloud fields. Strange that it should be so comforting. I volunteered to set temperature spikes. And with Davey’s help we set four, several yards apart.
‘Do you think Hanson is in on this all?’ he asked me, as we set the last one.
‘Certainly.’ I said.
‘You really think that?’’
‘Of course.’
‘He’s not stupid though, is he?’
‘Stupid is largely a matter of perspective,’ I said, ‘we are all smart if we avoid trouble.’
‘Yeah!’ he grinned at me and then pinned the mask in place, ‘temps going down.’ he added.
‘Crickey!’
In now boys! said Marcia on the radio link.
We got in just as a storm began to hit us. This was bad. Even by Cloud field standards. It was minus thirty and dropping. I was scared. There was something unnatural about it. Like magic or something even weirder than that. How could it go from tropical to this icicle in a few hours?
A little while later we sat round nursing our drinks. It was nearly five and the light had gone from the surroundings.
Janey was sitting with a herb tea, and her knees drawn up in a chair. She seemed so much like the real Janey that I had to remind myself that she wasn’t really that at all.
Softly the snow fell, as the evening edged towards six o’clock. Marcia and Davey made stew. I was told to rest, so I laid down on one off the padded benches and promptly feel asleep.
It’s funny how dream time is longer than real time…. There was a time when I was awake for a moment; and in that main space no one was visible. It was that I wasn’t looking in their direction. I guess I felt that I had something else to offer. Another perspective in the fate of us all. She was my weakness. I wished she had not spoken to me. I dreamed of a quiet place, where Janey did not step so lightly. There I saw angels soaring in the sky. The Janey that I dreaded you understand; was not my sister. It was that other…. The one who had tricked me; perhaps…. Her tales of this place were deceptive and strong. And as we neared the epicentre it became stronger.
I woke up. No clear idea of where I was. Or what the time was. Or even… for a minute where we were. I was lost. The last voice I wanted to hear was hers.
‘Jared?’
I must have made some noise. A soft growl in my throat; a sigh perhaps. We are waiting for the storm to ease. In the near vicinity I hear a little sound from our kitchen. It reassures me. I am not out of some loop. I find this weather hard to adjust to though. I shivered a little on waking and reached for a blanket that had been left nearby.
‘Will you talk to me?’
‘I’ll listen.’ I said.
‘I want to say I’m sorry for causing you so much worry…. I really want to make it up to you.’ She moves a little closer. I don’t react. And like a rabbit caught in head lights, the charm works more, the closer it becomes.
‘Jared?’ she asks softly.
‘Yes.’ I rub my eyes. I can smell stew. I focus on that. I am tired. It is more than just physical. This morning I had sex with this woman. This afternoon I hate her. I am a shallow shadow, just hiding behind others. But something is different. That woman at the beach. She was not this one. This one is a tease. A lot of fine words, but there is nothing that someone without a modicum of foreknowledge could not fake. The woman at the beach…… she is real. So they are separate: that one, she was my fatal sprite. She doesn’t have any connection to this one…. perhaps they are unconnected. That would mean that I can reject her without the threat of my terrible indiscretion being exposed; then again…. perhaps I can tell the story the way it is meant to be told. Like the one about the princess and the pea. She is so sensitive that she can feel the pea through all those mattresses. That is how they know that she is a real princess. So how do I tell that I am a real prince?
I stop for a moment and consider the thought that has wandered in my subconscious waiting for the right moment to arrive; and then it could be given full validation of my humanity. Just human; imperfect…. Yet so very, very precious….
‘I want to die now…. I need it to be you. Please…. We are near the place. It is only past the next ridge. You will see the labs, then the medical centre. The living quarters are further over. There is no need to be defensive. Most of the staff are ordinary doubles. There’s really no point in eradicating us all. There are too many soldiers compared to people anyway.’
Davey comes into view. He seems overly concentrated. The rest of the conversation… for so I must think of it, depended on my connection with either the copy, or my friend.
‘Tell me Janey,’ Davey speaks clearly and loudly, ‘what do you think of Jared?’
She is speechless. That makes it certain that is not Janey. She always has plenty to say for herself.
‘Tell me.’ He repeats. She just stares at him.
I knew the answer as well as Davey did. We could not suffer another traitor. And since the original one had not been found…. will it make the woman in front of us all the more attractive as a suspect? For the sake of the group as a whole; there are ways of finding out if your negative estimation is worth what you mean to throw at it.
I am lost without the certain knowledge that comes from people who live in some bright world. Davey glows with such innocence. It is; I realise, like a shield; we cannot sustain our expedition without damage if we allow the gravity towards the last of these ghosts that inflect us so slowly. What do we want to happen?
‘Jared….? What is going on?’ She looks worried. She steps towards me. Davey comes towards us. I sit up, and grip the edge of the seat.
‘You have just run out of rope girlie. I’m not in a mood to repeat myself again; so answer my question!’ I notice Davey has put his hand in his pocket. There is a tense silence, as her brows draw together in puzzled pain. It is so like her….so convincing. This isn’t the issue of what kind of copy she is; but what kind of person is currently inhabiting the copy.
A movement out of the corner of my eye. Marcia is there with Joe at her side.
‘Oliver!’ Marcia calls without turning round. She has her eyes fastened on Janey.
‘Well?’ Davey says.
‘I…. I don’t know what you mean….’ Her eyes dart from Davey to Marcia and back again. I slowly stand up.
Oliver slides in
to view. His stance is relaxed, neutral, unthreatening. I know what he is doing. Janey will instinctively go towards him if she feels threatened. She will go to the person who is the least likely to disbelieve her…. or so she thinks. Oliver is good with these sorts of situations. He is unfazed; seeming almost bored, certainly not tense like the rest of us.
She turns towards me. There is a flicker of doubt in her eyes. Then she smiles and reaches out to me. She takes my hands. I look down at the floor. For some reason the scene is like some dream I was just having before I woke up. She tilts her head to one side; ‘Come now Jared…’ she says quietly, ‘Let’s go and get a little air. It’s nice outside this evening.’ I look at her fully then; ‘It’s snowing.’ I say.
‘No…. It’s warm Jared. Let’s go and sit out there a while and talk. Just a little while. I won’t do anything…. just talk. Please, Jared. Will you?’
‘But it’s snowing.’ I glance sideways. There is warm sunlight coming from one side through the viewing port. Evening light. She comes closer to me.
‘Jared….my dear. See how lovely it is. Let’s go out there. Everyone is getting too worked up.’
I feel that undertow of contradiction to the known facts. I feel uncomfortably warm now. She reaches to my collar and unclips the top fastening of my jacket; and then the next one down. Everyone else is there, but I am blinded by the light from without. The dust motes drift in the light over my head. She leans closer and whispers in my ear: ‘They will destroy the copy. But you mustn’t let them. I don’t mind if you do this. Because then I will have what I need to remain here.’ She draws back slightly. We are very close now, noses almost touching.
‘Amber?’ I say, ‘Are you in there?’
She giggles, ‘we can go for a swim if you like! We can do whatever you want. Will you give me a little more time? When it’s time; let it be in private. This is wrong. You know that…. he doesn’t know me like you do.’ Her eyes darted sideways. Davey is there. But it is as if she has frozen the time around us. They are all like a tableau of threat, converging on this Janey…. or is she Amber?
‘How did you…?’ but she silences me with a kiss. I cannot stand then. My knees are collapsing under me. She kneels on the floor as I slide downwards. She kisses me again. There is a taste of something odd….
‘Amber?’
‘Shh….it will be alright in a moment. You will feel a little discomfort. But then it will be over.’
‘Are you trying to kill me?’ my voice is choked and wispy.
‘No!.no of course not. I love you. I wouldn’t hurt you. I couldn’t do that. You saved me. I am just beginning to get used to this body. It is strong and good.’
‘Are you Amber?’ I am sliding onto the floor. She is stroking my hair then. It is creepily loving, yet bizarre. I can see that shaft of sunlight way above my head. She takes out a knife. My knife. Where she managed to hide it I do not know. ‘Just one little thing I want from you. Do you see? You are helping us. A little thing.’ She uses the knife to nick my arm. I cannot move, I cannot breathe; or only in shallow gasps. It was something…. a taste of something…. I make the effort to speak then: ‘Will I remember?’
She smiles benignly as if she is just having afternoon tea. ‘No…. silly; not after this. And Amber can have you, my dear. If she can find you.’
‘You’re not Amber?’ I can feel the time shift now. It’s beginning to break up. I see that Davey is moving towards me very, very slowly. Perhaps; when she touched me, she took that talent I have, and used it. She has a small vial. In tiny drops she fills it. Then it is stoppered carefully. She bends down. I hear her breathing in my ear. ‘Thank you for your…. cooperation.’ she stands up then and starts to walk to the entrance to the dome. I can’t breathe…well, hardly at all. It difficult to see too; everything seems foggy. There is a sense of something pulling at me; against something else that is there. In slow motion they move towards me. I am struggling to stay conscious. It’s all going grey. And then the pain cuts through; where she has skewered me.
There is a sudden rush of sound. I am shaking…. or shivering rather; sprawled there on the floor. I think two people are beside me. One of them is Joe. I feel choked and nauseous; and very cold.
‘Get my med kit!’ I hear Joe. Someone is pressing on the arm. It hurts so much I think I’ll pass out.
‘Jared!’ someone moves over me, a faint shadow in the grey of the dome. To the right a light swings into view. There is a faint sound of scuffling.
I must get up…. I must find her. I need to warn her… Amber that is. Where could she be? The room is warm. I am on my back. I have a blanket over me. I am in the sleeping pod. Marcia is sitting beside me, her knees drawn up to her chest. She sees that I am awake.
‘Marcia…. what happened?’
She looked shocked by the fact that I am speaking, and leans out through the zip and calls to Joe before replying: ‘I could have lost you….it could have been curtains!’ she turns as Joe leans in. The sleeping pods are a raised area inside the zip and the other part is lower outside. My kit bag and boots are there. ‘Has she gone?’ I ask him.
‘Yes. Davey couldn’t catch her. She’s gone alright. It’s snowing again. There’s no way we can find her now.’ Joe feels my pulse and checks my throat and inspects my eyes. ‘How do you feel?
‘Bloody awful…’ I try to sound amused and cough once as my throat contracts.
‘She gave you too much,’ Marcia is looking tormented, ‘And to think we didn’t listen to your advice in the first place!’
‘What happened to your stew Ellis?’ I start coughing then, and have to sit up. She hands me a hanky. It subsides after a few moments.
‘Just try to understand,’ Marcia is forcing herself to be calm and practical, ‘you have been poisoned. You will not survive if we do not find the antidote…’
‘I am working on it.’ Joe pats me on the shoulder, ‘but there is already some damage from the times before… I think we can set you to rights Arden. But you will not do anything until we find the antidote. That is an order! We will find it. I promise. I’ll do what I can….’ He turns away. Then turns back to me; ‘I think Davey will see you in a little while. I think he has something to say to you.’
Marcia sat with me for a long time then. I drift into sleep and out of it. She brings me tea to drink. She looks at me over the rim of her cup.
‘Marcia….’ I sound like an old man; voice cracking and soft, ‘I did something I shouldn’t; but I’m still not sure what happened.’
‘She was stealing that…. umm; ability from you. And using it?’ Marcia puts the cup to one side; ‘The other team are coming soon. Dieter will help us.’
‘No! Marcia…. Tell them not to come! Please…. There is something I haven’t told you; something that might mean that Alexander gets control of me in the end.’
‘You think you’re the only one who has experienced of this kind of thing?’ she isn’t bossy but matter of fact, ‘we will be going home tomorrow. I’ll not risk your life anymore.’
‘But Marcia! We are stuck in this maze with no way of exiting. Don’t you see that…? Until all the tasks are complete, I am no safer here than back at home.’ I’m losing my voice, and she looks at me carefully.
‘I believe you. But this weather will kill us all if we stay here. And we cannot break camp. We would have to leave the dome behind. There are only five of us left.’
‘What about Janey? I mean…. My sister…’
‘Janey has to get through on the radio. We’ve been scanning the frequencies for anything that we can sneak onto. Eavesdrop as it were. Davey can do some technical whizz thing that means we can convert a speaker into a microphone. Or something like that.’
‘Are we near?’
‘Yes. It seems that the copy was right. It is just over the next ridge and down into a valley. But the thing is…. We are nearer to the sea than we thought we would be. The land curves round and then straightens. It is a kind of low strip of land that
divides their camp from the rest of this place. It might even be that the tide may cut it off when it comes in. we can’t see much more. Oliver and Davey have been out to investigate. I can’t do much else with so many people down.’
‘What about Adam? What about James? And the others?’
‘Hush now…. Calm down. We can’t help anyone until we know what the situation is. The copy went down the mountain the long way round. That means she would have to reach the shoreline before she could starts walking back towards their camp.’
‘But we don’t even know that is where she came from. There could be more going on than just Alexander and his plotting.’
‘You think that there are other powers at work here…. Of course there are. It is way past the point of common sense. This weird snow storm. The time dislocation we experienced. Different things. Different types of strange. We had our team just spirited away into thin air!’
‘But Adam and James are back at home.’
‘Who told you that? I assure you they are not! Anyway, it’s time for you to rest a little. I’ll check every ten minutes. And Davey will talk to you soon.’
There was a stretch of time that followed, which seemed to last so long.... It was actually a half hour short of a full twenty-four hours since that incident with the third version copy. But the following evening; as my friends sat around me I didn't really know why they were so shocked still. As the evening wore on, memory returned in broken pieces. Some didn't seem to fit the whole at all; but there it was: -----
I had closed my eyes after Marcia went out: and then I heard the sound of the sea. I felt a breeze on my face. I felt as if I was buried in the sand. I heard someone's voice. But my eyes wouldn't open then. Then there was a blank bit. I swam upwards then, and into waves of pain. I was rolled onto my side curling into a cramping knife of sensation that cut my guts and made it impossible to speak. I was conscious then for a while.... Joe was there trying to get me to drink something. But I could not do it. He gave me the shot instead. George's brew was the warm fuzzy dip down into a tide of soft pain-free darkness. That lasted quite a while.... Then I came back into a harsh light; my eyes flickered open, my mouth felt dry; I felt I was being lifted. Then a silence; then heat followed by cold. I'm shivering. There is someone wrapping their arms round me. I feel a blanket brush against my face. I open my eyes. Davey is there looking down at me. He has his Ice suit on; 'We'll find it. We'll be back as soon as we can. I promise to come back with it!'.... Then there is silence for a long time. Then voices; I am struggling to draw a breath. And the pain is coming back. I blink. I am on a stretcher to one side of the main dome. Marcia is still next to me. Joe sits on the floor listening to my heart. He shakes his head. I cannot breathe again suddenly. I am gasping like a goldfish on a tea tray. Joe and Marcia flip me over onto my back.... I’m suddenly panicking. I gulp air in shallow gasps. Panting; but not drawing in anything like enough.