by A M Russell
‘So who did say that word….?’ Davey was about to repeat it; Marcia cut across him;
‘No! Do not speak of it. Do not repeat anything you see or hear. Record it. And by that I mean write it down.’
‘And then what?’ Davey again.
‘One person reviews the data. Then we decide what to do with it.’
‘Let that be me.’
Everyone looks to Oliver, who it still and relaxed to a point of apparent casualness. I sense something else as well, but I don’t say anything in front of the others. It’s hard to put into words. Oliver would be the only one I’d trust if everything went weird. I’m not sure why…. but anyone else has certain weaknesses. Oliver…. seems immune to most of those.
‘No.’ it’s Hanson. Everyone is quiet. Oliver doesn’t reply, but just remains perfectly still.
We are looking at one and then to the other. Hanson shifts in his seat, clearly not enjoying the lack of argument. To put not too fine a point on it, I had not seen him squirm like that before. I think that the five of us were, for once, just watching to see which way the tree would fall.
Hanson breaks the heavy silence; ‘well…. yes. I accept that it is the best choice for the moment.’
Oliver swiftly moves round the table, and stands behind me. There is something in his presence that seems to make time pause and wait.
‘This one is mine.’ He puts his hands on my shoulders. That grip, that in other circumstances could be crushing is actually reassuring. Somehow I know that he means the vision he saw a little while ago. Oliver is not one to reveal anything. But this time he makes an exception.
‘I saw what happened,’ Oliver says softly, ‘to Jared; as we came to brow of the hill. I saw many people standing around. And they were bright…. brighter than Joe’s LED torch. And I heard a voice saying something. I don’t know if that was just to me. So I won’t say that here. I know that everyone saw something. And now…. I am asking for you to trust me. To help everyone. The hypnotism didn’t work on me…. yes; that’s right! I know where the sessions took place. I could find the place again. It was not an empty place. It was somewhere that is used at other times. A big place, with many back rooms.’
After this stunning confession, everyone seemed to blink as if they had woken up. They all started talking to each other. Except me. Oliver leaned over; and said clearly and quietly: ‘I know who Jasper is. I understand. I saw him Jay. And I’ll be watching your back from now on. He might be forgiven; but I’ll bet his old platoon might want him back in, taking orders…. you understand why no one else must know what I saw?’
I slowly nodded. I felt choked by Oliver’s confession. It was the most he had ever given away. ‘Thank you Reece….’ Was all I managed to say.
‘I’m at your back Captain.’ He squeezed my shoulders then and let go.
What shall I say? Did I see any clearer now? Not really. I was still a long way from understanding fully what had really transpired. It was too personal. I had no time to process the raw data of experience. I was overwhelmed by feelings, the input from all these sources coming at me at once. And Janey…. I had forgotten about Janey…
As if on cue, she appeared beside me. The group had begun to calm now. Davey was clearing plates. Marcia was laughing at something Joe was saying….
‘Janey…’ I looked into those big blue eyes, as she sat down in the seat Marcia had left a moment before. How was it, that I did not see the difference? She was my sister! I knew her as well as I had ever known anyone. She stared at me solemnly waiting for me to slide back into focus. She was real…. not a copy, not distant, or crazy, or scary. Just calmly sitting waiting for some cue.
‘…. thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’ She has a half smile. Slightly wistful. I wonder where we will all end up.
‘I….’ looking down now at the table, ‘…. wanted to see you before I left.’
She shakes her head slightly, brows creasing in puzzlement. I was thinking of the birthday party. I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye. She wasn’t in the car with me. I was alone. I think did get to London. I look back at her. She is still waiting, careful to be kind. Still not knowing what I mean….
Janey spoke then: ‘I was copied shortly after the Cloud field trip. I think that you might have suspected me before that. It is quantum spaces…. within. Things get to travel backwards. I couldn’t work out why. But now I see that the answer that we are so desperately seeking is right in front of our eyes. It has been all this time. Alexander knows this. He wants to stop us ever discovering it. He’s playing for time Jared. He’s playing a very dangerous game of dare…. he dares someone to be copied. They think they can win…. Well of course they can’t! The house always wins. Right? And then there is the matter of the copies that have gone AWOL. Lorraine’s is one. After the party. She was left in the time loop that they closed. She had to get out by the only method she could…. she used Lorraine’s so called “Magic”. Lorraine doesn’t know what she tapped into, and she’s been hanging around with her coven long enough to find that there are one or two useful things to be gained from the craft. And even it’s not as strong as some others…. Of such kind; it’s still pretty potent in the right application of will, and concentration. But Lorraine has lost control. She can’t find her double! But then neither can Alexander or Mr Charles. She has made them think that the double was just out of range, and will soon be back in the vicinity. But she lied to save herself. She is playing a very dangerous game. And as evil geniuses go; this Mr Charles is almost as bad as it gets.’ She paused and looked at me appraisingly, ‘the real puzzle at the moment it why he wants you.’
‘You know that…. you told me…. I mean you double told me.’
‘I lost any kind of connection as soon as the black box was removed.’
‘Why did you ask for it to be removed?’
‘I didn’t…. I’m sorry…. So sorry. Oh dear God I’m sorry. My baby brother….’ She turned away for a moment; then looked back at me, self-control back in place; ‘there is time for this later. I was taken to the camp just before you left the forest. I left with two others… one of their security personnel and…’
‘Lorraine?’ I asked.
‘Yes. But how did you guess?’
‘I didn’t. It was her boot prints I saw.’
‘No…’
‘No?’
‘It was dry.’
‘Dry?’
‘Yes Jared;’ she sighed, ‘no boot prints.’
‘So what did I see?’
‘Another version? Another reality? Anything is possible.’ At this she rolled up her left sleeve. There was the scratch; and more importantly the tattoo. I realised with a horrified start of realisation that the copy did not have a tattoo. But for some reason this remained out of all our minds when faced with such an easily identifiable mark. Something was using a power that affected us in a deeper sense. But then I saw the truth. It had only affected me. They knew, especially Oliver; but they weren’t one hundred per cent certain.
‘Have you seen Adam?’ I asked suddenly, ‘Or James?’
‘No. but the Base is huge. I don’ think that there is anything except a skeleton crew on duty.’
‘It sounds suspiciously like Main before the Cloud Field operation.’ I said.
‘Yes. It is. But this is sited in the time period out of touch with the rest of the prying world. No spying from space here. Here Lorraine’s earth magic might have a chance of actually working.’
‘So how is the real Loraine?’
‘Unusually compliant, reasonable, and nice.’
‘A bit like Hanson?’
‘Yes. Very like.’
‘Doesn’t that strike you as odd? The way everyone who has been copied, is well, nicer than usual?’
‘No. not really. The ingredients of a person’s psyche are unique to them. Like a finger print. The thing is; that thing you must remember that fading out the character flaws does not actually negate them. It just g
ives that person a feeling of fake self-confidence. They are not rid of their demons. They’ve just shared them around a little.’
‘Tell me,’ I said bluntly, ‘which one of your demons has been playing footsy with one of mine?’
She looked sick for a moment then answered: ‘Oh, that….it was a long time coming to the surface. I thought mistakenly I had it under control. But control is just a relative state of being; in and around this experiment. I lost control. Not only of the copies but of the aspect ratio of the psychological components that can be infused into a copy. There was batch contamination. Something else was there.’ she shuddered, then continued: ‘As a scientist it was my job to monitor the copies and to file any readings that were deemed unstable for the particular person’s character. Difficult, considering that some of the first stage subjects were not very well balanced people. But they had volunteered, so that was that. Each stage had its sample group you see. Now we know that Lorraine’s copy had been up to mischief. But Lorraine does sometimes get a little notion of where the thing is. I went to see her last week. She’ terrified of them discovering what I and Hanson have lately suspected…’
‘What?’ I was gripped now by this story.
‘That the copies are becoming independent of the experiment. But it is happening anyway. There is nothing you can do to stop it. It isn’t just the third types that are like this. They all are. I was only copied once; at the third stage. But the people who are copied at each stage are not privy to the identity of the others. I get the data sets; and the psyche profile; but no identifier. We have a psychiatrist on site, but he is more interested in the results of the longevity experiments than anything else.’
‘The what?’
‘How long they live.’
‘How do you….?’ But then I knew, and my horror about this grew. They had been copied and then kept like zoo animals. Very comfortable zoo animals; but definitely driven to the edge of endurance……’ I shook my head; trying to shake the idea that was growing in me.
‘Yes,’ said Janey, they are copies who have been held for years and years. They original is only slightly aware. But only just. Otherwise they would go mad.’
‘Who?’
Instead of answering, Janey got up. She motioned to Hanson to pass her something.
It was a computer memory stick. A ripple of silence travelled round the tent. As if cued, now I had been brought up to speed they all sat down again. Davey came through with the rubber gloves still on.
‘Come on Davey.’ Janey said evenly, ‘I need your whizz kid thing now.’
We listened to the recording that Davey had cleaned up. It was still a bit crackly; a woman’s voice. Some of it was like a voice diary of things that she had done every day while camping. But slowly it changed. After ten minutes we stopped the recording. Marcia nodded. Then another part was played. It was the same person. But this was further on in time; it appeared to be much, much further. She was clearly unhinged. Although it wasn’t really clear at the time that she was on her own for the most part. The sense of isolation came through vividly in the recording. Lastly there was a recording that made you want to cry. Another voice speaking, as well as hers. Someone singing…. Happy birthday; and then reading a message. She would be given a place to stay near the others; and every comfort. Anything she asked for. She had done well the voice said….so very well indeed.
Davey stopped the recording.
‘That is utterly terrifying.’ Joe said.
‘Yes.’ Janey was calm on the surface, but I saw her eyes.
‘How long has this been going on?’ asked Marcia.
‘From the beginning.’ said Janey.
‘Who are the test subjects?’ asked Oliver.
‘I think that maybe some of us are.’ Janey said.
I really felt then, that poisonous elementals masquerading as real people was the least of our worries right now.
Something occurred to me. Power; Power out of the ground; Our success; Before we began; Something old; Ancient even; Something at birth; Nascent; Something that was built in because of an incident of nature. There were two things; not one thing. Something impossible…. Granny Estelle told me. She said something; did Laura’s mother. I asked her once about the elemental world; when I was young. Perhaps she thought I didn’t remember now. “Why are no babies born to the people in the woods?” I was so young. She looked down at me; and unusually answered me. “Because,” she said, “there are no men to make the babies. None of their kind live here anymore.” So I asked: “Why not?” She smiled her secret smile; “there can be no boy babies born to an elemental. So in the end there can be no more of them. They are all gone a long time ago.”
“Where did they go?” I had persisted.
“They went away…. across the sea. And some of them just died. That is why they disappear. Because they can’t even with an ordinary man, make a baby boy.”
‘Jared…. did you say something? Jared?’ breaking into my reverie as they all went quiet; she asks me a third time. I’m staring at my hands clasped together on the table in front of me. I am mouthing the words over again very quietly: “there can be no boy babies….no boys….no boy babies….”
‘Jared!’ said Marcia sharply. She is right next to me. She says something else. But it is like I’m tuned out again. In my mind’s eyes I recall Granny’s face as she said the words. And almost the last thing she said: even with and ordinary man….
‘Even with an ordinary man!’ I gasp the words in surprize. It was there all the time. I am excited with this news; suddenly there is a light inside something that had always been a dark place; even before the incident, ‘It’s here!’ I turn my palms outwards, staring at them keenly, ‘It’s here. And now I get it…. dear God! I get it at last!’ my eyesight is blurring and I’m laughing. I put my hands to my face and feel wetness. I can taste it. Salty, burning. I am completely tripping out on this extraordinarily private moment of realisation…. There is a whisper at the edge of my mind. Someone else. I try to focus on them, blinking furiously. But it makes me feel sad. I stay there. I just want to laugh and cry at the same time. Can you know that feeling? Happy, and relieved; and also sad and regretting that this didn’t come sooner; yet glad it is now, because I am ready….
‘He’s lost his bloody marbles!’ Hanson says in a worried tone, ‘it had to happen sometime.’
‘Shut up!’ Marcia shouts, ‘I’ve just about had enough of the slights and criticisms that you all throw around without thinking. We’ve all been through enough already today.’
There were some subdued sounds of apology from more than one person.
‘That’s better. Now everyone study the map of the base. Davey; print everyone a copy on A4.’
‘Will that be too small?’ Davey is careful to keep his tone pleasant and light. Marcia is not known to cool down in a hurry if you really get on the wrong side of her.
‘Yes.’ she is firm and blunt, ‘now everyone will be up at seven, except Jared. And you will get your tasks in the morning.’
‘Breaking Camp?’ Oliver’s voice is like the brush of a cat against your leg.
‘Yes. I know we are being herded down. So let’s get the jump on the unholy trinity and be up and moving quick sharp!’
There were some mumblings of “Yes Boss.” after that.
I slowly look up. The meeting; was it a meeting? had broken up. Janey is sitting next to me. Her chin is cradled in her hands, elbows resting on the table. Marcia is still discussing the printing of the map that Davey has extracted from Hanson’s flash drive.
‘Hey there…’ said Janey, ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’
‘I don’t know.’ I said stupidly. The idea was fading out like smoke in a breeze. I feel if I say another word I will forget it, so I asked her ‘When did you talk to Estelle?’
‘Granny rang me a week before we left to come here.’ Janey is waiting for the obvious question. I don’t ask it. I know she expects me to say it. Just to make th
e point. Estelle doesn’t talk to me at the moment. It isn’t that we don’t get on. It’s perhaps rather the opposite. I think she might be afraid that I’ll make her admit too much. My mother does know something. Janey was right when she remarked on that straight after Morel’s demonstration. What about that guy? How far back in time could he recall the events in a particular place? What are the limits of his powers? He doesn’t know yet perhaps. Karis is showing him what he can do. She can amplify it beyond it normal unpractised limits. She has subtle abilities that seduce you. She can slip inside a man’s mind almost without their knowledge. I think that is why she has taken to Morel. She can’t do that to him. He would know. She doesn’t do it deliberately. But it is something that she wanted to always avoid. Karis could strip me bare with one glance when I was very small. She could see right inside. So perhaps she knows something after all?
‘Jared? My dear…. don’t fight it.’ Janey is solemn. Grown up, gentle and patient. She seems so much like Karis at this moment; so much greater than me. She is really that. Twins…. Yet so very different. All my distorted views of her died in that moment. She had always been my golden jewel. My dear sister; and unlike Karis we had passed the same milestones together. Karis appeared in our lives fully formed; and adult already. No history, she had always been there, always beautiful; always young. Did I mention that? These women do not age like ordinary ones. They keep their youth and beauty, way past the point when the flower must have faded. Karis and my mother are only two years different in age. Neither has a sign of it: they are flawless and youthful. My mother is a more normal version of her mother (Estelle). Estelle has a mature beauty that you could see in someone half her age. She has only a few strands of pale hair in the background of ebony. Impossible! So impossible that I never noticed it. I know now why Laura very rarely stands near to me when we have visitors. It would be too easy to compare us. I have the same dark hair and blue eyes of my mother. I look so like her. Yet she is a deep and complex person; with many facets to her personality. Karis says that I am much akin in temperament and character to our mother; I don’t really know if that is true. I suppose it is Leo who understands what she is best of all. So I suppose that is why he watches over me. Where I get my impulsiveness from I don’t know. But now I see where I get something of my nature from….it is so startling that I just want to jump up and run out into the evening forest and swing from low branches. I know that Marcia and Joe will get Oliver to pin me down if I attempt to go wandering right now. I turn a little. Janey is still sitting there. She doesn’t seem perturbed that I’m off with the fairies for a moment or two.