The Power of Forgetting

by A M Russell

  'Ready Janey.' I warned.

  She slowly raised herself against our sheltering rock. She needed enough space to throw the pebble straight and true. I was poised with knife. I sensed, but did not see the soldiers easing along the gallery behind, and just round that little corner.

  'Ei wneud ar y nawr!'

  'Yes my friend...' I spoke to myself, raised the knife; and then breathed. I looked up one last time and caught Marcia's eye.

  'Duw fod gyda ni!' and I stuck the remaining fibres with all my strength. The rope threads gave and the bridge dropped away. I saw Marcia looking at me, then stepping back as the firing started anew. Janey sprang up and took one swing the way you would throw a skipping stone with considerable force.

  The little pebble sped through the air as the bridge dropped. It made contact with the shimmering surface of the doorway as the soldiers started to move, and we turned and ran pelting pell-mell down the narrow gallery. A sudden roar of wind billowed through the cavern, and we clung to the rocky protrusions to stop ourselves from being blown over. The soldiers weren't so fortunate. We heard the cries of those in considerable pain. It didn't please me at all. Even though they would be fixed up, I felt some pity for the poor sod! Just following orders, I guessed. We ran, and the gallery curved and begun to climb. I thought we would spiral upward. We reached what looked like a dead end. And we could hear the heavy boots like a hoard of rhino chugging behind. A keen wailing was heard also. But whether that was the wind in these caves, or someone who was hurt we could not tell. We made a sharp left and continued to climb. Inside my pack the head set buzzed. Signal was getting better I supposed. It must be Oliver trying to call us. But I couldn't answer as we weren't out of trouble just yet. Janey heard it too, and she looked towards me. I ran faster, pulling Janey along.

  Suddenly we burst out of this tunnel into a vast table land, gleaming like a pearl on this softly cloudy-bright day. We were fifty yards across it before the head set rang again. I fished it out and struggled to put it on. Just before us was a protrusion of giant crystal shaped rocks. We skidded to a stop behind them.

  'Hello?'

  'Ellis here. You take care now Arden, stay with Janey. She knows what to do. We'll see you on the other side of the mountain.'

  'How's Joe?' I try to speak in a calm level way. My eyes are darting looking for a way off this smooth expose place.

  'He'll live. Andrew and Lorraine are taking care of that. I just wanted to say.... Be careful. Please....'

  'Yes....' my mouth felt dry.

  'Oliver here! Now listen! You need to get out of there now. The whole mountain is swarming with his men. There's at least thirty closing on your position.'

  'Sharp eyes Reece!' I said with a note of desperation.

  'Bloody big binoculars Arden.' said Oliver with a warning note, 'Now move your arses!'

  'Janey!'

  'Yes!' what do we do?'

  'Over there! Run.... One; two; three!'

  It was a gut crunching two hundred yards. I might not be an athlete but I was fast like a chicken from a chopping knife. Janey kept up easily; but she was breathing too hard. We made for the next bunched together out cropping of giant crystals. As we skidded round the side of these I caught the men Rimmington had sent after us like a dark swarm of huge ants invading my peripheral vision. Janey was panting, clearly panicking. She was trying so hard not to. I had to think for both of us. There, spread out to our right like a beautiful undulating pearl, was a field of stone that spread to the edge in the far distance. We were above the line of the great hall. I found this reassuring in some way; even though our position was dire: It had occurred to me, as perhaps it had to Janey too, if the bosses of this experiment thought they had a version of me who was compliant, they may have no problem with shooting us both. Only Mr Charles knew that we had visited. And perhaps he also suspected that it was my future self's doing. But we couldn't depend on that. There was only one way. I had to capitulate. I would give myself to him. No tricks. The only condition was the life of my friends, all of them.

  'Don't Jared.' Janey pleading and breathless; 'it's not meant to be!'

  'Then tell me Janey dear!' I growled, 'What the hell is meant? Just come clean for once! What did you not tell me?! And what happened to us all? Why are we living in this nightmare? Tell me!'

  'I don't think that's very nice.' said another calmer voice. Mr Charles slid into view. He was tense but seemed to be in control.

  'Pig!' Janey spat, 'Call off the dogs!'

  'Or you'll do what?' he seemed sad; 'I had always hoped we could be friends. I'm sorry it has come to this. But you must understand that Mr Rimmington has special orders to use your brother's generative power. He would rather you didn't try to get in the way. Or do you have a double too?'

  'No.... What do you mean?' she eased herself to her feet and so did I. I was looking to see if he carried a weapon.

  'Jared....' he spoke in a softer more persuasive way, 'come. See.' he stepped to the side. We both stepped away from our hiding place. The men were there at a distance, weapons lowered; as if waiting for something.

  'He can override me in an instant.' said Mr Charles, 'I would much rather that we came to some agreement first. It would be better for you to not be err.... divided against yourself.'

  'He's seen your profile.' Janey whispered to me, 'He thinks you really are sick. He's hoping to appeal to your sense of self-preservation.'

  'I think it's a little more complex than that. And who gave them the profile?'

  'Addison.' said Janey.

  'The site medic? We just talked.'

  'He’s the assessor for more.... Challenging cases...'

  I really was spinning back to the pre expedition health checks. Right then....it began that day. I shook my head.

  'Addison is a fruit loop himself.' I said.

  'Mr Addison is dead.' said Mr Charles.

  I digested this. He spoke quickly then: 'It was not of my doing. There were orders. A clean-up crew has been dispatched.'

  'To clean up what?' I began to get a chill.

  'To clean up the options on the Time Lines; Those things that you saw, they were just a try out for this. You were always the experiment, and some of the others.'

  'Which others?' I asked. But he just smiled.

  Janey and I looked at each other; 'So what is it to be? I asked her.

  'I think,' she said slowly, then looked sharply at Mr Charles, 'that you give us five minutes. And we'll give you our answer then.'

  He looked at me. I nodded, 'What the Lady says. Just let us have a few minutes to talk; just us. Then you'll have your answer.'

  'As you wish. But you know I'm offering your life. And Rimmington doesn't need you. I'm your only ally.'

  'Just back off. Be back in five.' I said, and pulled Janey round the big crystalline rocks.

  'We can't trust him' said Janey.

  'Yes. I know. So what’s is the great plan Ms Arden. What does my miniature magician have up her magical sleeves?'

  'A plan Jay.' she said quickly, 'and you have to trust me. I've seen the orders issued this morning. There was a partition on the drive that contains all secret communications.'

  'You hacked it?'

  'Nicked the password. No one will ever know.' she lowered her voice down so much, and gasped as she tried to get it all out in one.

  'There are orders to terminate the experiment and start afresh as from midnight tonight.'

  'Tonight? What is so special about tonight?'

  'Everyone is celebrating, all the ones who trained. Most are staying the night.'

  'So all the versions are to be terminated?'

  'Yes! But that's not the point. It is only those who have gone back and changed something who are being targeted....'

  'Juliet....' I said.

  'Yes...they have been able to manipulate the facts. A hit list. And Charles wants to keep us off it I think.'

  'So what happens if Rimmington finds out?'

  'It won't
matter. We all have a past.'

  'Of course....' I said. Janey looked as if she was waiting for something to come on. Must be…. Bet my life? Then it came: I saw them all in my mind’s eye, all those faces; and I wanted out. Right out of it.

  'So what do you suggest?'

  'There no time.' Janey quickly swung her pack off. 'give me the headset.'

  I did so and she switched it off and put it in a pack pocket. 'You will need to trust me,' her voice trembled, but it was real fear.

  'I do.' I said and reached out and touched her hand.

  'Just a moment.' she seemed to struggling internally with something.

  'Let me help.' I said gently. She looked at me directly and seemed eased. Her breathing slowed and she shivered.

  'Have we got two more minutes?' she asked me.

  'Three, if we are being literal.'

  'Listen Jared. You and I can jump out of here. But it is something that requires total openness from you. Do you know what I mean?'

  'Tell me.' I said quickly looking up. I caught the edge of Mr Charles jacket as I leaned slightly and twisted my head.

  'A kind of Traveller's alchemy; something only working in very rare cases.'

  'And we can?' I leaned closer to her, 'Does it get us away?'

  'Yes. Come here. Kneel down here. We can go in thirty seconds. As soon as you are ready.' she tugged on my wrist, so I slid down onto my knees. We faced each other.

  'Tell me what to do.' I said.

  'Put your arm around my waist, the right. And your left palm against my cheek. And your other cheek against mine.'

  I did as she asked and she did likewise. We were kneeling clasped together; cheek to cheek.

  'Now listen my dear,' she said softly, 'open your mind to me.... right open. It will work if there is a deep enough connection for the power to flow round. Karis taught me how. And we can travel using both our power at once.

  'Alright.' I answered her, I felt her waiting at the door to my mind, not trying to force her way in, 'Do I go inside your mind too?'

  'Yes my dear Jay. That will make the connection exponentially more powerful. This will overcome their piddling anti-shift field. What do you wish?'

  'I wish to live another day dearest sister. Do we count to three or something?'

  'No just open up, and let the connection flow then we can go.'

  'Got it.' I breathed, and calmed myself. I focused inwards. I could feel her presence there. As I let her in, I felt something give way. I felt her fear; then her anguish; then her love of simple things; then I saw her curiosity, and the workings of a complex and subtle intellect. They appeared like coloured bands of light. But then she was inside, and she saw the time flux in me.... colours and light.

  'Take some....' she whispered in my ear.

  In my mind I dipped into those bright colours edged with silver light. And the strands curled and flexed and reacted. And she was scooping those of mine, deeper and deeper in, like holding a hank of Rapunzel’s hair. And she held them and loved them; and they began to glow, and within so did hers, firings with brightness like the firing of neurons. The arching sparks of light jumped and made new connections.

  Suddenly my eyes were open. And I was looking out across the pearl landscape, as the sun broke through. In my gut I felt that final pull. And there was a connection of time energy that flowed together.

  'Permit me?' she said.

  'You have me' I answered, 'Take us away from here Janey.'

  And with a final sudden rush of energy in the loins and the torso we burned and then launched into gear... I relaxed and felt my whole body melt into her mind, and then a sudden acceleration, like squeezing through the eye of a needle. Then the world around us vanished.

  *****

  Nineteen

  I had not known what it was like to travel through time in my own recent experience. This was like being put in a high speed stunt plane when you have only in your own right taxied a small lower powered passenger vehicle slowly down the runway.

  We were sliding through scenes in a blur that was a flickering tunnel of multi-coloured shapes; and a bit like a film that is being fast forwarded, it showed things sequentially too fast to fasten on any individual one. But like a high speed train you still tried to recognise things even as they flashed past.

  Suddenly I was buffeted by a howling wind. My eyes were streaming and I had to press my lips together to stop the air tearing at my throat. We were still holding on to each other, but it felt as if the canvas had come loose. It was like the storm finding a chink in a dome tent and lifting and tearing and straining at that point. I tried to breathe and couldn't, so I tried to slow.... To put the brakes on.

  'No!' Janey yelled in my ear, 'don't fight against me! Please!' she is gasping, but with pain. Her mind is strong but I'm creating a dragging wave.

  'Jared!' and my attention snaps back to her. The sound is getting too much now the roaring of noise round my head. I must stop, I must breathe!

  Then she takes control again. She pressed her mouth into mine. It wasn't like before. This time I entirely understood. The noise cut almost immediately. And I could breathe through my nose quite easily. I had involuntarily shut my eyes. And she spoke again, but this time it was from within: "be still my love, relax, all is well, we are safe now."

  I had almost forgotten what we had potentially escaped from, however many minutes ago. And I did relax; and she was still connected to me body and mind. Hers was a bright spirit that hovered like a bird. And in the melting of boundaries I held nothing back. I saw then within our memories; the same times from both our points of view. I felt her emotions from the memories rather than my own remembered ones; or rather, because mine were familiar, known, hers stood out like white gems on yellow-gold sand.

  There were the children climbing trees. And I fell in the muddy stream.... but that was Janey, and Jared took her all the way home and took her to mother, who put her in the bath fully clothed before peeling the layers off. And then I'm running down the street; the village near the pub, The Plough Inn; and I'm calling to anyone who will listen, 'Jared is crying again! Please! Please! He's crying!' and in that thought is a wish to still that little boys cry; in bringing him to the adults who can call our parents. Jared has cut both his knees very badly, and blood is running down his legs. And I: Janey can feel it too.

  Then there is another memory; but this is different somehow, it is shot through with another emotion: sadness. And yet it is of a holiday at the beach. It is warm and beautiful and we collect shells. We are both turned sixteen, and have tanned in the natural way that children do; mother rubbing sun lotion in: Jared wriggling and complaining. I'm rubbing some on his back when were out on the beach. And I see this other girl, from another holidaying family watching him. She smiles at him, and he smiles back; it must be that moment.... unguarded, not like the normal response. He runs his hands through his hair, it's floppy and long; and he's wearing dark blue shorts, with boy’s beach shoes, and he has a leather thong around his neck resting on his collarbone. I smooth my hands over the place, so the other girl sees. She looks at me still speculative, a bright curious look. I want her to think he's with me. That's he's my boyfriend. But he's already becoming separate. He's already divided. I'm jealous of it. I want it back, our innocent childlike togetherness.

  And I'm me now. And I reach out to her. In my mind and memory, I turn to face her and I'm wanting to tell her that's it's alright; I could not be interested in that girl; you are the only one. You are my girl; I won't be anyone else's not ever....

  We slid through time smoothly now, all sound from without silenced. And if I open my eyes the passing flicker of colours are like patterns outside the window of a luxury train. We are safe in a cocoon of warmth and comfort. I cling to her now to tell her it's alright.... don’t cry Janey, it's okay now....

  There seemed to be no time; and yet it was all time. Like being asleep then waking up and still half dreaming; and the colours reflected all things: all se
asons, sunsets, moments, echoes of what was. I let all of me slide away like some forgotten dream; and when I do wake eventually it is to a different reality. All I am is dissolving, fading; and yet is becoming sharper and clearer and more real. Each moment with Janey was so intense, so real, I lived each moment and each one multiplied the next. I was losing myself.... after all this time that tight, private, unyielding self was exploded into multi-coloured fragments. But the mutuality of all this was spread out like the wide shoreline, and thoughts like sea shells were mixed together. Janey was crying; and I knew why.... relief; we were alive, and we were together; and we didn't hate each other anymore.

  And then the colours were like blocks of something; I felt a deceleration. It was as if the momentum was naturally expending itself, and we began to sense a little drag, but it was only minor.

  'What is the elapse time?' Janey was speaking out loud. I breathed in an opened my eyes which kept falling shut, I turned my head a little we were nose to nose. I kissed her lightly, and she shivered. I couldn't seem to actually speak. I looked at my watch over her shoulder.... Half past two; again. I pulled my wrist to the side so she could see.

  'That's....alright.' Janey gasped, 'we're doing okay. But the time period we're approaching is shielded somehow... Listen; Jay, we will have to slam the brakes on really hard as it were. That forces a drop into normal time. Okay?'

  I nod in agreement, and try to ask a question, but I cannot form the words.

  'You focus too. Just think "Stop" as hard as you can until we stop.... don’t be scared. We won't hit any solid objects...things just repel each other when dropping out of a time jump at this speed. Karis taught me well. Just "Stop" when I say the word. Got it?'

  I nodded again and held on even tighter, convinced that this could be stomach churningly rough even if we were in one piece when we did eventually come to a standstill. We seemed to be slowing; so much so that I could actually see images of fields and trees reaching to the horizon. Can I tell you of the wonder as the arc of the sun passed over our heads marking the course of seasons? I saw autumn then winter; then spring took hold.... Summer bright blooming then fading. And the clouds made tracks across the sky; blossoms of wide flowers in gold and violet, red and soft pearly greys. And then misty cold and days with no sun and the snow was falling.