Jason looked at him, with a strange, almost empty expression on his face. He was always hurting me by accident, trying to toughen me up. Hed try to teach me a sport and Id come home bruised and bloody. He broke my arm finally trying to teach me football, and Mom wouldnt let him take me out by ourselves again. He was always careful that it wasnt abuse. Nothing you could call him on, but he was always too rough, too harsh for my age, my size. I started therapy in my teens because the school counselor encouraged it. Therapy taught me that my dad was abusing me. He wanted to hurt me.
I touched his face. Jason, Im sorry.
His face was very solemn. Me, too.
You dont want to go home by yourself, do you? Nathaniel asked.
No. Id ask you to go with me, but if I show up with you itll just confirm what my dad and most of the town thinks. He grinned suddenly. Well, anyone who didnt have a teenage girl about my age. The fathers hated me.
I would think that your being promiscuous with the girls would make your dad happy, I said.
Youd think, but he seemed to hate me for that, too.
If someone wants to hate you, you cant stop them, Nathaniel said.
Jason nodded. Yeah, my dad has hated me for as long as I can remember.
Youre my best friend; if you want me to go with you for moral support, Ill go, Nathaniel said.
Jason smiled, then shook his head. Nothing personal, Nathaniel, but you are not going to help me convince my dad Im straight.
Nathaniels straight, I said.
But he doesnt look like my dads idea of a straight guy. And its all about appearances with him.
I took a deep breath, let it out. How long would you need to be there?
I dont know, a couple of days at least.
I cant believe Im saying this, but Ill go, if you want me to.
Jason looked at me, startled. Youre joking, right?
Do I look like Im joking?
No, he said, and he sat up, kneeling in the bed. The sheet was behind him, so he was very not clothed. Even though wed just finished having sex, I found myself fighting to give him eye contact. Sometimes my hang-ups puzzle even me. This is like the biggest favor ever.
You would owe me for the rest of your life, thats true.
A look passed over his face that I couldnt read. He looked down at me with so much emotion in his eyes that it was uncomfortable to see. I fought to look into those eyes.
Youd really do this for me? Something this stupid and this sitcom? Youd really do it?
I finally had to look away from the intensity of his eyes. Yes, Jason, Id really do it.
You realize well have to fly.
Shit, I said, you will like owe me extra for getting me on a plane.
But youll still do it, even though youre terrified of flying?
I crossed my arms underneath my breasts and sulked, but said, I said Id do it, didnt I? How long is the flight?
He bounced down beside me, and the look of joy on his face made it all seem far less stupid. I know you dont love me the way you love Nathaniel or anyone else. But you really do care for me, dont you?
I looked into that face. A face that had been my friend for years and more than just a friend for about a year. I said the only thing I could say: Yes.
6
W E CALLED J EAN -C LAUDE while it was still night, so we could tell him what his pomme de sang, Jason, and his human servant, me, had planned. I thought he might tell me it was a stupid thing to do, and tell us no. He was Jasons boss and master, and technically he was my master. Though honestly, I didnt let him pull the master card on me very often.
Jason told him, then handed the bedside phone to me. He wants to talk to you.
Jason got up and padded toward the bathroom. Nathaniel stayed where he was beside me. Hey, Jean-Claude.
Ma petite, I am surprised that you would agree to this.
Me, too.
He laughed, that wonderful, touchable laugh. It made me shiver and not from fear. Nathaniel cuddled closer to me, as if hed gotten a taste of it.
Thank you for taking care of Jason in a way that I could not.
So youre not going to talk us out of it?
Do you wish me to?
I realized that yes, I did. Now that Id said yes, I was feeling awkward about it, and even more foolish. Its going to be sort of awkward.
It will be difficult for you. You will be his only emotional support in a very traumatic situation.
You sound like therapy-speak, Jean-Claude.
What would you have me say?
What youre actually thinking?
He gave that laugh again, and my shields dropped enough so that I knew he was sitting in his bed wearing nothing but the silk sheets. I got a glimpse of that curling black hair over the perfect white of shoulders. I closed the shields down before I could literally see the midnight blue of his eyes.
I took a deep breath in, and let it out slow and counted as I did it. If I wasnt careful the tie between him and me could distract me, a lot.
What are you thinking about, ma petite?
You, and trying not to. Where is Asher?
He is running late, but he will be here.
Jason wants to leave in the morning. Who will you feed on while were both gone?
There are always willing blood donors, ma petite.
I didnt like the way he said that. A small spurt of jealousy came and I clubbed it to death before it could sound in my voice. Dont eat anything that disagrees with you.
Are you jealous, ma petite?
Maybe.
I, too.
What do you mean?
You will be going home to meet Jasons family. You will be doing something very ordinary, very human, that will forever be denied me.
I dont understand.
My family died long before you were born, ma petite. I cannot introduce my mother to you, or my sister. I cannot give you the very normal experience of seeing where I came from, and who my people are.
Ive met the head of your bloodline, Jean-Claude. I figure that Belle Morte is your people.
Non, ma petite, she is my master, or was, but she was never family. She was lover and goddess, if you will, but that is not the same.
Youre jealous that Jason has living family to take me home to.
Oui.
I lay there with the phone to my ear, and just thought about that. I never thought that would be important to you.
I do not regret what I am, ma petite, but I do regret some of what I do not have. I would give a great deal to have you meet my mother, and my sister.
No father, I said.
He died when I was very young. I dont have many memories of him.
Again, something I hadnt known. Tonight was just chock-full of new discoveries about people I thought I knew intimately.
Are you upset that I havent taken you home to meet my family?
He made a small sound. No, I He laughed, but it wasnt sexy, more laughing at himself. I think I may be. Maybe I feel you do not think me good enough.
I think my Grandmother Blake would chase you out of the house with a crucifix and holy water, is what I think.
She is a devout woman?
Fanatical. Ive been informed shes praying for my soul because of you.
Have I estranged you from your family, ma petite?
No, I was already estranged, if thats how you want to put it. Lets say Grandma Blake was praying for me about the whole raising-zombies-from-the-grave thing. My sleeping with the undead is just another symptom of my damnation.
I am sorry, ma petite, I did not know.
I shrugged, knew he couldnt see it, and said, Its okay.
So you will go with our Jason and meet his family, be his girlfriend.
You are jealous.
My voice was empty of emotion, he said.
Yeah, and when your voice is at its most empty, youre hiding something. You know you dont have to be jealous of Jason.
I am not jealous in the way you mean.
> Then explain.
Nathaniel had gone very still beside me, listening.
You are not yet thirty and he is twenty-three. You are both so very young, ma petite. You will go away to his hometown and be very young together. It is something I cannot be with you. I cannot be young and nave and uncertain.
You wouldnt be you if you were any of those things. I love you the way you are, Jean-Claude.
Did I sound like I needed to hear that, ma petite?
Yes, I said.
He laughed again, and made me shiver down closer to Nathaniel. I find myself strangely conflicted. Jason is my pomme de sang, and is precious to me. That my human servant is taking care of him in such a caring way is a lovely thing. It will make other vampires think me a very kind master, but I know that you do it because you care for him. He is young and handsome and charming.
You cannot be insecure.
Why can I not be?
Because you are beautiful and amazing in bed, and I love you.
But Jason can be one thing for you that I cannot, ma petite.
Whats that?
Mortal. He can involve you in the youth of his life. He can offer you the mess of his family. He can show you where he grew up, introduce you to people who knew him as a child. All those to whom I can introduce you knew me as a vampire, never as a mortal.
I think this is your issue, Jean-Claude, not mine. Im not actually looking forward to traveling down memory lane with Jason and his abusive dad.
I feel that you mean that, but I find myself strangely envious. I had not missed my family in a very long time.
You sound homesick.
I suppose that is as good a word as any. He sounded sad.
Do you need us to come there tonight?
To what purpose? You would arrive not long before dawn, and you would leave before I awoke for the day.
I feel like you need a good-bye kiss, I guess.
Thank you for the sentiment, ma petite, but I will work on, how do you say, my issues. You, I think, will have your hands full working on Jasons.
What could I say to that? Yeah, I said.
Je taime, ma petite.
I love you, too, I said.
I guess in the end, what else is there to say?
7
I HAD ONE other phone call to make before I flew off into the sunset with Jason. I dialed Micahs cell phone, because when he did the out-of-town trips it was the best way to get him.
Hey, he said, and that one word was full of affection, happiness, contentment.
Hey, yourself, I said, and my voice had the same tone. Id felt that way about Micah almost from the moment I met him. Weird, especially for me, the poster child for panic when I was attracted to a man. Wed learned only in the last few months that it had been the ardeur, my very own version of vampire powers, that had taken away my reluctance. In a way, Id rolled Micah and myself. But neither of us regretted it; maybe that was vampire powers, too.
I asked him how the trip was going. He told me he liked the new leopard, and so did his bodyguards, Mel and Noah. Good to know.
But you didnt call to ask about the new wereleopard, he said.
Couldnt I call just to chat?
He laughed, and I could picture his face. He was back to having his summer tan, which made him dark enough to pass for something other than Caucasian. But his features were entirely too Northern European, to really pass for anything else. His face was delicate, and so was he, at my height exactly. His eyes were chartreuse leopard eyes, from where a truly evil man had forced him into animal form long enough so his eyes never changed back. Id killed the evil man, and Micah had moved in. Wed been a couple ever since.
I told him the Readers Digest version of what was happening with Jason. Im sorry to hear about his father.
Me, too.
How did you get volunteered for this trip?
You dont think Id come up with it myself?
No, he said, and there was no doubt in his voice.
Nathaniel.
Hmm, he said.
You sound upset.
That youre going off with another man to meet his family? Hmm, let me think, why would that upset me?
Are you telling me not to go?
I would never do that.
But, I said.
But nothing, telling you what to do isnt the kind of relationship we have. But Im allowed to be a little jealous that youre getting to go home with Jason.
Jean-Claude said the same thing, sort of, but his family is centuries dead. Its not possible for him. You never talk about your family.
When Chimera was alive, he used peoples families against them. He tortured them, or made them into wereanimals so he could control them. To keep my family safe, I had to pretend I hated them. I did a good job of it, Anita. I doubt theyd want to see me again.
I heard such regret in his voice. You never know until you try, Micah.
Well see.
If it works out, Id love to meet your family.
Really, you dont seem much interested in your own.
Im allowed issues with my own family; that doesnt make me hate everyones family.
Okay, but he sounded cautious.
Really, Micah, Chimeras dead, he cant hurt you or your family anymore.
I know that, you killed him for me.
You wanted me to kill him.
Yes, I did. And there was that note in his voice, that tone, that said he was all right with the violence that I did. Hed watched me kill Chimera, and hed been just peachy with it. There were so many reasons that Micah and I worked as a couple. One of those reasons was a certain ruthless practicality in both of us.
I would go home to see your folks, Micah.
Would we bring Nathaniel, too?
That stopped me. We all three lived together, butI dont know. I guess that would be your call.
Ill think about it, all of it, the family, and whether I have the guts to show up after all these years with you and Nathaniel. Put that way, I could sort of see his problem. It was sort of similar to Jasons problem, actually. Perception is all.
Im sorry if my going off with Jason bothers you.
Im sorry it bothers me, too. I need to work on that.
Micah, I love you.
I know, and I love you, too. Give my love to Nathaniel. You better start packing.
Micah, I
No, its all right, Anita, really. Do what you need to do for Jason. But I guess I really would like to introduce you to my mom and dad, my brother and sister. I just never thought it was possible.
A lot of things are possible, Micah.
I guess. Ive got to go. I love you, Anita.
I love you, too.
Give my love to Nathaniel.
I will.
He hung up, and left me not sure how to feel. Guilty that it bothered him, yes, but more puzzled. Hed almost never mentioned his family. How was I supposed to know that he even wanted to see them? Sometimes the hardest part of dating this many men was juggling everyones emotions. People talked about the sex, because sex was easy; hearts were hard.
8
J ASON HAD SAID he lived in a small city. I hadnt understood what that might mean for the flight. What it meant was that we would have been on a freaking prop plane. The only thing that will get me on shit like that is life or death, as in a police investigation, where if I dont go more people will die.
Maybe the panic showed on my face, because Jason made a second call to Jean-Claude. I keep forgetting that he owns a private jet. I dont know why I keep forgetting, but I do. I think Im just a little uncomfortable that Im dating someone who owns one. It just seems a little too idle rich for me. Of course, Jean-Claude is about as idle as I am, which means hes always working. He manages his little growing empire of preternatural businesses, and is good at it. I raise the dead and slay bad vampires. Busy, busy, busy.
But it meant that I didnt have to brave a puddle jumper to do the favor for Jason. If Id had to get on a tiny prop plane, we
ll, I couldnt think of a sexual act deviant enough to make up for the phobia abuse. Luckily for both of us, the private jet, though small by commercial standards, wasnt horrible. If I hadnt been both claustrophobic and afraid to fly, it might even have been comfortable.
The last time wed been on the plane Jason had been jumping all over the place, teasing me about my phobia. This time he stayed in the swivel seat beside me, staring out the window. Of course, last time hed been wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Now he was wearing one of the Italian-cut designer suits that Jean-Claude had had made for him. The suit showed the broadness of his shoulders, the narrowness of waist, the sheer athleticism of him.
He was wearing the navy blue pinstripe. Other than the cut it was a conservative suit. A blue shirt made his eyes even bluer than they actually were, with a darker blue tie, complete with gold tie bar. I knew the tie was silk. I knew that the shoes that gleamed on his feet cost a hell of a lot more than my high heels. I refused to pay hundreds of dollars for yet another pair of uncomfortable high heels. They were good shoes, but not as good as what Jason was wearing.
Hed dressed carefully. He might hate coming home, but he wanted to impress them. He and Nathaniel had chosen my clothes, too. I didnt care. If it was in my closet I was usually okay with it, or it wouldnt be there. There was a section of stuff that Jean-Claude had bought me that was more club or fetish wear, but other than that my closet was fine.
I was wearing a royal blue skirt suit, with a silk shell that actually matched. The only thing Id added to the skirt to sort of ruin the feminine look was a wide black belt. It matched my shoes. The belt also held a Browning BDM at the small of my back at an angle, not up and down. I didnt often carry guns at the small of my back. I usually favored a shoulder holster, but I didnt go anywhere unarmed, and Id worn the gun this way before when my boss thought being armed was a little too scary for clients. If they had a metal detector at the hospital Id flash my federal marshal badge.
I had more guns and holsters in the luggage, but I figured for the hospital visit Id try to be low-key about my job and the whole violence thing.
Frankly, I never thought about going home to meet anyones folks, let alone Jasons. But Id play by the rules. Rule one had to be not to scare the prospective in-laws. Yeah, Jason and I both knew that we had no plans for marriage, but I was the first girl hed brought home, to my knowledge. People would assume a lot, and I wasnt sure how much Jason wanted them to assume. My only goal was not to lie outright to anyone; beyond that it was all game.
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