by Marnie Cate
The green ball looked like it had destroyed itself. Instead of a round and green orb, it was now just a large brown mound of dirt. As I stared in shock, I watched as a small green blade peaked out from the dirt. As it grew long, it began to sprout a yellow bud that grew and grew until it formed into a large white flower. As the flower rose, it twisted and turned on the stem and began to take shape. Another beautiful girl's face formed in the yellow center of the white flower.
Young Mara, laughed and said, “Daisy! Join us before your tea grows cold.”
As her body took shape, a dress of white formed. This dress went to just below her knees and was covered with white and pink petals. Around her waist, she wore a sage green belt. Her bare feet had dark green painted on each of her toenails. Laughing, her deep emerald cat eyes widened as her wavy yellow hair grew. The shoulder length hair was messy and wild, yet looked perfect on her.
“Thank you,” she said, as she kissed Young Mara on the cheek before settling by her cup.
With a burst of speed, the yellow ball swirled all around Young Mara until it turned into a small blue bird. Zipping by Daisy, the bird nipped the tea biscuit out of her hands just as she was going to take a bite.
Daisy shrieked, “Breeze, stop showing off!”
With a dramatic landing, the blue bird quickly changed as the others had. She had pure white hair that was streaked with blues, greens and gold. Her shoulder length hair was a long angled cut where the hair was longer in the front than the back.
Her deep blue eyes glared at Daisy and her pink lips turned into a pout, “If Bay had not shown off with her ridiculous splash, I would not have had to fly around to dry off.”
Smoothing her long blue dress, the fabric changed color with each run of her hand. When she was finally done fixing herself, the dress was no longer a deep navy blue but instead a peacock variety of colors shimmering on the fabric. I expected her to grow a fan of feathers but instead, she settled by a teacup and pouted.
I watched on as they each took turns showing off for Young Mara who delighted in everything they did. I felt so comfortable and had a strong longing to join them.
The fun was interrupted as a loud male voice called out, “Caterpillar. Where are you?”
The tea party guests instantly disappeared. Young Mara straightened herself up and turned toward the man. I could see four marble sized balls flying high up into the tree.
Caterpillar was the nickname my father had given me. He would say that as I grew I would change from the young caterpillar into a strong powerful butterfly that would be respected and adored.
“There you are,” said the voice.
As he came closer, I recognized the man. It was my father, Elliott Stone. His light blonde hair glistened and his normally sun kissed skin was a deep tan. I stared at his ruggedly handsome face not sure how to feel. He had died when I was ten but I often thought of what life would have been like if he had not. Before me was another ghost from my past.
“Hi, Daddy,” Young Mara said, as she ran to greet him. He picked her up and swung her around. “Did you come to join my tea party?”
Looking around at the partially eaten cookies and half-full cups of tea, he said, “It looks like your party was interrupted. Where did your guests all go.”
“They all…” she said, as she began to answer his question. At that moment, a leaf fell from the tree and landed on the back of Young Mara's hair. The leaf grew a small hand that began tugging on the long strands of her hair.
She continued as if she understood the warning, “They are right here. You know Sally, Susie and Sandy,” she said, as she gestured around her.
“Only three guests but you have four cups?” he questioned.
“Oh, right and and…,” she stammered.
“Samantha,” I whispered, as I remembered my lie.
As if she had heard me, she quickly responded, “Samantha. You know how she is shy.”
“Yes, of course, Samantha. How could I forget her? You must tell me all about your friends,” he said, as he sat down and took a tea biscuit from Blaze's saucer, popping it into his mouth.
“Mara,” the voice of my grandmother called.
I turned to see my grandmother calling to my young self. “I am starting to make those cookies you wanted to bake. Are you ready to help me?”
“Yes, Gram,” she replied. “Sorry, Daddy, I promised I would help.” Standing up and smoothing off her dress, she turned and began towards the house.
“Wait,” he said, pulling the leaf out of her hair and handing it to her. “It looks like you have a hitchhiker.”
Taking the leaf, she ran towards my grandmother. Watching my father, I could see him inspecting the area as if he was looking for something. From the house, my grandmother stood staring at him with a worried look in her eyes.
Taking one last look at my father, I said, “I miss you,” And, I walked back to the house not looking back at him.
As I entered the house, I could hear Gram and Young Mara talking in the kitchen.
“You are right, Mara. We should introduce them to your mother and father. Why don't we plan a special party for this weekend?” Gram said.
Around her, I could see the four balls of light bouncing up and down in agreement.
“Now drink this and let me know what you think of the taste.” I watched my grandmother handing my young self the silver chain with a crystal vial filled with purple liquid similar to the one that I had drank.
“It's really sweet,” she said, as she further tipped the vial's contents into her mouth. With a feeling of both sadness and wonder, I watched myself drink the liquid and then collapse into my grandmother's arm.
My grandmother held me in her arms gently rocking me. Her soft words were filled with pain, “This is the only way to protect you. I hope you will one day understand why we couldn't tell them.”
Chapter 14
Waking, I looked around. I was not sure where I was. My mind felt so fuzzy and my vision was blurred. Around me, small voices were talking but the words spoken made no sense.
“She will understand. Just give her time to adjust,” a deep familiar male voice said.
I tried to sit up to see who was talking but my body was just too tired. Fighting against the exhaustion I was feeling, I pushed myself up on my elbows. Strong hands on my shoulders helped me sit up.
“Take it easy, you have been through a lot,” said the soft voice of my Gram.
As my eyes focused, I could see before me I was surrounded by the dolls from my childhood. Bay with her silly giggles and her plans for adventures. Daisy that had listened patiently to the secrets and dreams I shared with her. Breeze who always had the answers to my worries and fears. And, now Blaze who had been my strength and comforted me when I was scared. Blaze was my strong protector that had a dragon-like spirit that scared off any creatures in the night.
“I don't understand. How can this be? These are just my dolls. What magic are you using, Gram, and why?” I asked, still fighting the clouds of confusion in my mind.
“You are correct, Mara. You do have a toy version of each of them. Not soon after Meg was born, you became more vocal about the elements around you. The more you spoke of the magic around you, the more scared I became. Honestly, I was growing suspicious of your mother and her commitment to the magic. To protect you, I made an elixir. It was to hold your memory of the magic until it was safe.” she said, sadly.
“We agreed it would be best,” she said, as she patted my hand. Each element nodded confirming her story.
“Why didn't you give me my memory back when she left? Why wait until now? Why wait until it was too late for me to learn anything?” I asked, feeling a strong sadness and sense of hopelessness.
“Mara,” Blaze spoke, "You already know everything that you need to know. It is inside you and as it always has been. We have been with you the whole time. You just didn't realize that we were always here.
I sat silently embracing my memories. My memor
ies that now were free. Small things that I had always felt began to make more sense. Images of my mother brushing my hair and telling me that I was special while asking me about the time I spent talking to myself. Even then, I felt that I was not supposed to tell her but I did not know why. All of the feeling came rushing at once and I felt so angry that I wanted to scream and strike out at everything in front of me. As strong as my feeling to fight boiled inside me, I was consumed with immense sadness and defeat. Tears streaming down my face, I did the first thing that made sense. I fell sobbing into my grandmother's arms. I needed her above all.
Calmly speaking as she stroked my hair, she said, “Let it out, my love; let it out.”
The warmth of her hug and her soft voice comforted me as I cried. It was like every bit of emotion I had been holding back for so long came rushing out. Minutes went by before the sobs escaping my body began to slow. As they slowly stopped, I began to feel an amazing sense of understanding.
Lifting my head from my grandmother's shoulders, I looked into her brown eyes, which seemed as if they were pleading with me for understanding. “I know why you did it, Gram. You had no choice. I understand what the promise we both made means.”
With a look of relief, she smiled and kissed my cheek, “I knew you would understand. Now we need to make plans to fulfill our promise.”
Gram immediately began gathering bottles and bags. “Cole, can you carry this box to the kitchen?” She said, as she handed him her supplies.
Turning to me, she put her lavender journal into my hands, “I have been writing everything you need to know down since you were a small girl.”
Slowly leafing through the book, I could see her wavy handwriting and small drawings and diagrams. I stopped on a page that said Memory Potion. It read:
Memory Potion
~ Rain water collected on the eve of a full moon
~ Two cinnamon sticks soaked in vanilla bean oil for at least six days
~ Crushed lavender leaves
~ Pinch of sea salt
~ Combine all ingredients at sunrise and place half into a small vial. Upon consumption of the potion, refill the vial with the remaining liquid and keep in a safe place.
~ !! Warning !! This spell will not erase, only contain, the memories. Memories can be returned only with the remaining potion and the herb of memory.
“This is the spell you used, right? Do you have any more of the potion left?” I questioned.
“She has the ingredients to make more,” Bay answered, as she danced around on the table spinning her long blue ponytail. “Now get your nose out of the book. You have much to remember.”
“Ignore her,” Blaze said, glaring at the dancing Bay. “She is easily excited.”
Looking to Gram for approval, Blaze suggested, “Come with us and bring the book.”
Gram responded, “Why not go to your favorite picnic spot. Let's stay close today.”
Clapping with joy, Bay spun around. “I love picnics and dancing and tea and cookies and…”
“Stop, we don't have time for games,” interrupted the commanding voice of Breeze. “We will have time for fun later. Today we need to help her not only recall but also understand all of her memories.”
A soft whisper in my ear spoke, “Don't worry about them. They are just anxious. We missed spending time with you.” Looking at the source of the voice, I saw the calming green eyes of an old friend.
“Thank you, Daisy,” I whispered back. “I have missed you too.”
In all the confusion, I had completely forgotten about Cole. Meeting his gaze from the living room, I smiled at him. Smiling back, I could see that he understood all of the emotions and feelings I was holding back.
“Cole will be fine. We have many things to do today. We still need to finish getting ready for the Lunar Festival tomorrow.” Gram spoke, as she handed me a small picnic basket. The white weave basket had a large twisted handle of purple and green.
“Just a little treat. Enjoy your time with them,” she whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
“Thank you,” I said, quietly. “Can we spend some time together today?”
I wanted to tell her that I needed more answers and that I had so many questions but I held back my words. I knew in my heart what she had done was the right thing but I fought back the doubts that were in my mind. A battle that I always fought - listening to my heart or to my mind.
“We will talk later. Go enjoy the afternoon.” Gram said, shaking me out of my inner dialogue.
Chapter 15
I followed Blaze as she led me into the backyard. We took the path that I had watched Young Mara take in my memory. The trees were green and colored with flowers and fruit but this time there were no sounds coming from my grandfather's workshop. As we approached the largest green tree, I had images of tea parties like the one I had seen today that were full of laughter and magic. I set the picnic basket down and opened it. I pulled out the soft yellow blanket and spread it out.
“What did she pack us to eat?” questioned Bay. “I am starving from all of the work today.”
Pulling the treats out one by one, I laid out a square rectangle container that held deep red sliced tomatoes sprinkled with basil, sea salt and olive oil, fresh cheeses and a variety of cubed bread. The last items I pulled out were a bottle of white grape juice and a small tin that I knew held tea biscuits.
As we munched on our food savoring the flavors, Breeze began to speak. “When your great grandmother was a child, the Goddess decided to reward her family for the commitment to the magic. My sisters and I were born of this gift. We were sent to guide the ancestors of Genevieve Silver and help them strengthen their inner connection to the Goddess and to learn how to use the elemental magic. Until Eliza, this had always been an easy job of play and magic. But even as a young child, there was something about her that felt disconnected. The four of us never appeared to her in our fae form. We kept our contact to the basics elements that we represent. When she turned fourteen, we knew our reservations had been correct.”
“This is not the time,” Blaze scolded. The gold of her eyes grew dark and the red streaks of her hair began to burn with fire. “We will have plenty of time to discuss the path of Eliza but today we have a small amount of time to help Mara connect again.”
Blowing a burst of wind and putting out the flames Blaze was emitting, Breeze agreed, “No need to become upset. You are right. The story can keep for another day.”
Blaze turned to me staring hard and said, “Now show us what you have inside you.”
“What do you mean,” I said, with frustration, “I have nothing but confusion and jumbled memories inside of me.”
Without notice, Blaze threw a ball of fire in front of me onto the picnic cloth. The small ball erupted and began to burn the yellow fabric. Staring, I did not know what to do. In response to my inaction, I felt a small wind blow by me toward the now growing flames. The flames danced and flicked at the wind that blew as if inviting a new friend to the party.
Closing my eyes, I held my hands out and lowered them into the flames and whispered, “Wind of Breeze, Fire of Blaze, Water of Bay and Stone of Daisy, I call upon you to contain the flames.” Opening my eyes, the red-hot flames began to flick at me. The fire grew stronger. My words had done nothing.
Taking a deep breath, this time I held out my hands and placed them over the fire, “Winds of air, flames of fire, drops of water and salt of earth, I command you to come to me.”
Plunging my hands into the burning flames, I felt the hot heat licking my fingers but it was not burning me. Instead, it pooled towards me like hot lava running down a mountain and formed a ball that I was able to hold in my hand. Clasping both hands together, I felt the power of fire inside my veins. As the warmth ran through me, I opened my now empty hands to see small white tendrils of smoke.
As quickly as I recovered from the fire, the earth under me began to shake and the blanket began to sink into the earth. I recited the same command
and as the earth stopped shaking sending a ball of mud rolling at me. Clasping it in my hands, I felt the soft cold earth throughout my body. Instead of mud, tendrils of white smoke slithered between my fingers.
Feeling mists of water on the back of my arms, I turned to face the water ball that I knew was behind me. Instead of a small ball of water rolling at me, I stared at a ten-foot wave of water being swayed by a strong wind. My hesitation cost me the precious moments, I needed. I did not speak before the wave crashed down on me. As the water pulled me into the center of the wave spinning and swirling, I could not speak for fear of drowning. I held out my hands and willed the water to consume me. The waves slowed and gently rocked me down to the ground cradling me as if I was a small baby. As it settled me down softly, the small waves danced around me and the wind blew my now wet hair around.
Holding my hands out again in front of me, I strongly spoke, “Winds of Air, flames of Fire, drops of Water and salt of Earth, I command you to come to me.”
The water and the air around me began pressing against my palms and rushed inside me. I felt ice and warmth running through my body. As white smoke came from both my hands, I knew that I had passed the test they had given me.
Breeze and Blaze spun around me drying my wet clothes and taking the chill from me. Once I was dry, we talked for a long time about all of the things they had taught me as a child to be safe and use my magic carefully. The conversation felt rushed as if they were trying to teach me seventeen hours of knowledge in just a few hours. Eventually, Daisy settled on my lap with a sad expression on her face. Looking into her green eyes, I felt what was coming.
“I won't see you again, will I?” I questioned, hoping that the feeling I had was wrong.
With a soft smile, she answered, “Not for a while but we are always with you. We will be in the air you breathe, the water you drink, the warmth of the fire and ground beneath you. We have always been here to remind you what you already have inside.” She kissed me on the cheek and said, “You know what the next step is, Mara. Follow your heart. The Goddess has blessed you.”