The next morning, I made my compulsory visit to the Ministry of Information, and made the acquaintance of Mazjdi of the secret police. Every foreign journalist gets one of these agents. We call them “minders”—that way, it doesn’t sound so bad. A little while later, there I was with my notebook, sitting down with the female director of the Saddam Hussein Cultural Center. I’d started by having a row with Mazjdi because I really didn’t want to go to the Cultural Center, and after that I’d politely inspected five hundred portraits by twenty different artists, all of the same man. Now the three of us were sitting drinking tea, and I asked the director why the artists had only painted Saddam Hussein. She was a pale woman in her mid-forties who spoke broken English. “Are you crazy?” she cried. “How can you doubt our love for our leader, Mister President Saddam Hussein? There’s a worldwide conspiracy against Iraq! What more fitting a subject for an artist’s inspiration than our leader, may Allah protect him?”
Mazjdi beckoned me. He really wanted to move on to the Amariya shelter, where an American bomb had killed 403 Iraqis during the first Gulf War. “All Western journalists go to Amariya. It’s an important story, or don’t you want to tell the Dutch people about the war crimes the Americans are guilty of?”
In the car we’d already argued because I wanted to go to a primary school instead; there’s no better window on the soul than children’s drawings. But permission for such a visit remained impossible to get, and no one could explain why.
It went on like this for thirteen days, and by that time I was truly down and out. I’d always left other Arab countries with regret because there seemed so much more to do. I left Iraq a day early, despite all the hassles I’d gone through to get the visa. What a nightmare those thirteen days were, seeing people duck out of even the most innocent questions with comments like, “Iraq is blessed with such a strong leader as Mister President Saddam Hussein, may Allah preserve him.” Or, “I’m certain that our leader has a solution for this.” Or, “I’m not interested in politics.” I spent all day sitting in the car with a secret agent who had God-knows-what on his conscience, but with whom I had to dine out every evening—on the Volkskrant expense account, naturally.
“Amazing that they have Dutch beer here, Mazjdi.”
“Thanks to Saddam Hussein, we have everything.”
In the hotel, I felt like a walking cash machine. Every evening, I had to take into account the fact that my drinking water could be stolen, and my clothes and my notes. The phone in my room was bugged, everything on the television was about Saddam, and apparently there were hidden cameras behind the full-length mirrors in my room. “A real man drops his trousers,” my colleagues had sworn to me when we’d met in the whisky bar in Amman for a few courage-building drinks before my departure.
I ordered a taxi for the next morning because in the evenings the route to the border was controlled by bandits who shared their booty with the police. I packed my bags and, late that evening, walked over to the nearby Ministry of Information for the fleecing that would end my stay: One hundred dollars per day spent in Iraq, another hundred for having a satellite telephone, and fifty dollars a day for Mazjdi. They even gave me a stamped receipt because Western accountants are so strict ... As I took my leave, the director said, “You’ve now checked out.”
“Ordinary Arabs have an expression for this,” the Jordanian driver told me once we’d left Iraq. “Hamiha haramiha-he who protects you, robs you.”
I was shattered after that trip. Once I’d recovered in Cairo, I realized that it wasn’t normal fear that had made such an impression on me. I’d had to deal with that fear in Libya and Syria, too—and, if I asked enough questions, in any Arab dictatorship. What had had such an effect on me in Iraq was my own vulnerability, the humiliating powerlessness I’d experienced at the embassy in Amman, at the border, in the Rashid hotel, and at the greedy Ministry of Information. I had been permanently watched, and had suffered from the constant realization that I would have no rights if I was robbed. I could have disappeared without a trace, and no one would have blinked.
This was dictatorship in its naked form, and I had to physically experience it in order to understand how fundamentally different such a system is from democracy. If someone breaks the law in the Netherlands and harms me, I know I can go to the police about it. If they don’t do anything, I can apply pressure higher up or go to the civil commissioner. I can get a lawyer, go to the press, or go to an MP or the European Court. There are many different authorities I can turn to in the exercise of my civil rights, and these different bodies monitor and correct each other. This makes the abuse of power and corruption more difficult, and at least you have the illusion of legal certainty—the basis of democracy. When I see a police officer in the Netherlands, I relax because that man or woman is there for me. When an Arab sees a police officer, he starts running. Hamiha haramiha.
Of course, not everyone in Iraq is corrupt or terrified; just like in Western democracies, things don’t always work to the system’s dictates. Every Arab country has its own variant, and Arabs don’t spend the whole day being robbed, accused, or grassed on. But if something does happen to you, there are no universal procedures for enforcing your rights. This makes you vulnerable, and that’s why my minder Mazjdi got into a panic when I wanted to deviate from the program. It would have made him susceptible to blackmail—“Where did you disappear to all that time with that Western spy?” And Mazjdi, in turn, was probably blackmailing his subordinates.
Some time after that trip to Iraq, I briefly returned to the Netherlands for what we called “the correspondent days,” a biennial event during which correspondents returned home for a week. That’s where the penny finally dropped. The meeting began pleasantly, because correspondents are pleasant people, and I relaxed even more when I discovered that many people shared my uneasiness about the news agencies. Our men and women in our London, Paris, Berlin, and Washington bureaus all felt that the wrong topics were dominating the news, and that we were following the news agencies too slavishly.
This was balm to my soul, but were we talking about the same frustrations? That evening, at the drinks session, a colleague stationed in a Western country asked me what kind of people the Arabs were. I’d worked out a standard answer for that one: I adopted my specialist’s voice, and said that the Arab world was extremely varied and that Egypt was the only country I knew well. I rarely spoke to women, so my impressions only related to half of the people; and even then, if I’d gotten to know around one person each day, in three years that amounted to around one thousand people. Out of 260 million Arabs, that was 0.0004 percent of the population.
Yeah, yeah, she reacted—now say what you really think. And then it hit me: I didn’t know what Arabs were like, not because I wasn’t trying, but because I couldn’t know.
“You work in a democracy,” I said to my colleague, “and in that kind of system you’ve got all kinds of instruments you can use to double-check your impressions of the 0.0001 percent of the people you talk to. There’s a context. People in your country dare to talk to you. They dare to talk to each other, and there’s freedom of the press. There are opinion polls, TV and radio ratings, election results. In other words, in your situation, the news agencies can illuminate a much greater part of society, and you can investigate things for yourself. The articles you write might be drowned out by the news agencies, and that’s what you’re fed up with. But in a dictatorship the problem is of a different kind. There’s no way I can come up with my own stuff. Where you are, opposition parties, NGOs, action groups, or journalists can call the leader to task, and he has to defend himself. Where I am, the leader sends in a gang of thugs. Knowledge is power: Dictators try to gain total power, which means doing everything to prevent their subjects getting hold of any information. The more opaque the society, the easier it is to corrupt and abuse power, and the harder it is for an opposition to form.
“The fact that you’re not afraid to listen to me telling you this, and
I’m not afraid to say it, is the difference between dictatorship and democracy. Imagine if we knew that half of us here at this table—although we don’t know who they are— have got to be working for the secret services. And what if all our bosses were party members, and reported our thoughts to the secret services? Don’t you think we’d all shut up?”
When I went to Cairo as a correspondent, journalistic practice seemed a set of tools you could unpack and use all over the world. But dictatorships and democracies weren’t two cars of different makes. If a democracy is a car, a dictatorship is a cow or a horse. The man who turns up with a screwdriver or a soldering iron is powerless.
Chapter Five
All the News That’s Fit to Print
My third year as a correspondent went by, and the world seemed stranger every day. Syria banned the Disney hit The Lion King because the president was called Assad, which means lion in Arabic. In Saudi Arabia, The Pink Panther was called The Pink Hyena because panther is fahd, and that was the king’s name. President Mubarak was voted “Man of the Year” by all the Egyptian daily, weekly, and monthly papers. In the days before the Iraqi “referendum,” people didn’t get a dialing tone when they picked up the phone, but a recorded message with “Yes! Yes! Yes! Saddam.”
No wonder people told each other jokes in abundance: “Congratulations, Mr. President!” the advisor says. “99.98 percent voted for you at the referendum. That means that only 0.02 percent were against you. What more do you want?” The leader growls, “Their names.”
Burglars break into the safe at the central bank. There’s a big panic until the governor comes out and says in relief, “False alarm. Nothing important was stolen—only the results of the 2015 election.”
The most surreal thing was my own job. Student riots broke out in Iran, and I had to cover them from Cairo because Tehran kept its gates closed. How many readers and listeners would know that I couldn’t even place a direct phone call to Iran from Egypt, and that Cairo was about the least-suitable place on earth from where to follow these disturbances? Not many, I hoped, and it really couldn’t come out that I knew precisely six words of Persian.
Syria was closed off at that time, too; despite my barrage of faxes (“Your country deserves to be described from the inside, not by my colleague in Tel Aviv”), I never got a personal visa. Other journalists had the same problem, and the Cairo Foreign Press Association organized a very brief and tightly run group trip to Damascus. Part of this was a collective interview with the Syrian minister of economic affairs, for which our opening question was: “Each year, two hundred thousand young Syrians flood into the work market. How is Syria going to help them find a job?” The minister smiled sympathetically and said, “Thanks to the wise leadership of our president, we don’t have any unemployment. At the most, just a few lazy people.” It went on like this for half an hour; then, as I was leaving the ministry at the end, a pretty young woman grabbed hold of me. Did I belong to the group of Western journalists who’d been invited by the Ministry of Information to come and look into the impressive progress of Syria under the leadership of President Hafez Al-Assad? She’d seen us on the news. Could I pass on this petition to the minister and have it signed? Her brother would pick it up later that evening from my hotel because, of course, a nice girl like her couldn’t come to me. Was this an appeal for a pardon for a group of political prisoners? A complaint against human rights crimes? A plea for democracy? Our entire group would be thrown out of the country and my name put at the top of the blackest of black lists if I handed a petition like that in. But then I took another look. It was an appeal for a job in television. “I want to be a presenter,” she smiled charmingly.
I sometimes imagined I was taking part in a reality-TV show where participants were given impossible assignments. Mine was to play a journalist in a system where good journalism is a contradiction in terms. It produced some droll images, but the worse the dictatorship, the less funny it became.
A little less than a year after I’d arrived, the Cairo Foreign Press Association arranged a group trip to Iraq via the Ministry of Information in Baghdad. It was complete madness. The secret-service minders practically sat on our laps. They’d regularly leave us waiting in lobbies for hours on end without any explanation, and then shove us into taxis for an excursion. Slipping away wasn’t possible because then you’d put people in danger. If an Iraqi saw his neighbor (whom he’d hated for years) chatting to a Westerner, he might make a call to his “friend” in the secret services: “My neighbor has been recruited by a spy.” Could the neighbor prove his innocence? And to which authorities? Perhaps that sly journalist from Hulanda was an informant or agent provocateur himself? You do hear such funny things; and if he was an agitator and you didn’t report him immediately, he might report you.
Part of the trip was an excursion to the south, thirty or so of us in a bus, leading to unavoidable jokes about school trips. Soon, everybody was playing I Spy—“... an absurd wall painting of the Leader.” There was a portrait of Saddam wearing a black toga in front of the Law Courts. Then he was in front of a five-star hotel, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and smoking a Cuban cigar; in front of a print shop, dressed as a tourist with a big camera dangling over his beer belly; in uniform next to some barracks; and outside an adventure park, against a backdrop of snow, forests, and mountains, dressed as an Alpine hunter, complete with silly hat.
In Kerbala, the fun stopped. At the world famous Al-Abbas mosque, we were guided around a small museum that the regime had set up to commemorate the victims of the 1991 uprising. Shiites had tried to topple Saddam’s regime, and had been quickly and ruthlessly put down. The dead being remembered were supporters of the regime who had been chopped to pieces by the rebels at the beginning of the uprising. We saw authentic nooses, a meat hook, dried-up pools of blood displayed behind glass, and pictures of children’s heads that, according to the minders, had been hacked off by “agents from the other side of the fence”: Iran. The museum was on every school trip’s itinerary.
There we were, guardians of free speech, listening to the keeper of the Syed Madhi Fadhil al-Ghurabi mosque after having carefully written down his name. Al-Ghurabi with a G-H cleared his throat and said, in classical Arabic, translated by one of our minders, “Our Leader, Mr. Saddam Hussein, may Allah protect him, has set aside fifteen kilos of gold, and 150 kilos of silver, for the restorations, despite the continuing aggression against Iraq by Iran and the West.” On the wall there was a picture of a praying Saddam, and a family tree proving that the Leader was a descendant of the Prophet Mohammed. The late King Hussain of Jordan, also a relative, had had this family history “researched” by scripture scholars. Al-Ghurabli looked at the minders—was his rendition alright?
We’d been told that we could ask questions, and some thought it was worth trying. Was it true that, while putting down the uprising, random civilians were tied to tanks so that the rebels wouldn’t shoot at them? That the Friday afternoon sermon hadn’t been held for years because the regime was afraid of gatherings? Under the shadow of the meat hook, Al-Ghurabi began to pour with sweat, and the minders quickly ended the talk.
They led us on to the Saddam Hussein hospital—you didn’t need a notebook to remember the names of the institutions in Iraq. A photographer in our group had been coming to Iraq every six months for years, and recognized one of the doctors from previous visits.
“Good to see you! How is the hospital?”
“Alhamdulillah, God is great, as we say.”
Nearly all the equipment on the ward was broken, and spare parts couldn’t be obtained because of the sanctions. At least that’s what the regime said. Another doctor explained that all the cancer patients had to be sent home because there was no money for medicine; with a glance at the bored but happily nodding minders, he continued angrily, saying that the sanctions had turned Iraq into a refugee camp. “And why? Because Iraq is supposed to be harboring weapons of mass destruction. Everyone knows that we haven’t had those w
eapons for a long time and that America just wants to destroy Iraq, don’t they?”
A German journalist from our group decided to act as if we were in a democracy. He pointed out that, in the area where the top party leaders lived, he’d seen a swimming pool installed, as well as Mercedes cars and satellite dishes ... The regime had money for that, didn’t it? The doctor faltered, Oxford accent and all. “I’m certain our worthy president has a plan to break the back of this crisis,” he said. And then he was gone.
“Have you got your quotes?” the head minder asked. We nodded, and then we were gone, too.
This was dictatorship laid bare again. I quickly came up with a background story entitled, “Angst rules in Kerbala.” But is that what came across? If it had taken me so long to see through dictatorship, what would it be like for readers living in the safe Netherlands?
In any case, the boss gave me his compliments on a different piece. The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Tareq Aziz, had been able to make time for us because we’d been a group. It had been a stage play with standard answers to standard questions—sanctions, UN resolutions, diplomatic maneuvers ... For anyone who kept up with the news agencies, nothing new was said. But Tareq Aziz was a famous name, so I’d scored. But a couple of reactions stayed with me. Someone from head office asked why I hadn’t been able to get a visa more quickly, and one editor was annoyed that I hadn’t responded to his urgent email. “Didn’t you know I was in Iraq?” I answered.
“Yes, and ...?”
At which point, I had to spell out the fact that you can’t send emails in a country where fear rules. It was rather embarrassing, but I couldn’t reproach my colleagues too much, because they’d based their ideas partly on my work. In two years, I’d made the front page ten times, I’d written hundreds of articles, and had been on the radio at least two hundred times, but the reality of dictatorship was pretty much only apparent in my subordinate clauses. And, for the sake of clarity, I’d continued to use the word “president” instead of “head crook”; “parliament” instead of “applause machine”; and “commentator” instead of “inciter,” “goad,” or “arse-licker.”
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