“What’s the difference, Daniella?” Tricia said. “You think you aren’t pregnant, right?”
“Yeah.” She said. “So what’s your point?”
My point is that you should just confirm it.” Tricia replied. “Do it and I won’t bother you about it anymore.”
“Oh my God…” Daniella groaned as she looked towards the ceiling for a moment. “Seriously?”
The expression on Tricia’s face told Daniella everything she needed to know. There was no way she would drop it. Tricia raised her right hand and pointed to an imaginary wristwatch.
“Fifteen minutes to the drug store.” She said. “We’re in, out and back here. In less than a couple of hours, you’ll know.”
Daniella shook her head in frustration. She hesitated for several seconds in the hopes a brilliant counter-argument might pop into her head. Nothing materialized. Drained and uninterested in debate, she at last relented.
“Ugh, alright…” Daniella replied. “Let me grab my purse.”
***
At almost fifteen minutes to the second, the women pulled into the parking lot of the drug store. They got out of the car and started to head inside.
“Okay,” Tricia said. “While you are getting the test, I’m going to pick up a few things.”
“Alright, but don’t take forever.” Daniella began. “I want to get this thing and get out of here as fast as I can.”
“I won’t.” Tricia said with a reassuring smile. “I’ll meet you up front by the exit.”
Daniella agreed and they entered the store. Tricia headed towards the household section while Daniella tracked down the nearest store employee. A middle-aged man in a red smock walked past her.
“Excuse me, sir?” Daniella said. “Where can I find the pregnancy tests?”
The man looked past her right shoulder and nodded. “Aisle eight, ma’am.”
“Thanks.”
“My pleasure. Do you need any assistance?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you though.”
He smiled, nodded, and continued on his way.
Daniella turned and headed towards the area he pointed out. As she rounded the corner of the aisle, she noticed a section of them at the far end. Once she neared, Daniella saw four shelves full of tests. Unfortunately, they locked them under a panel of plexiglass.
“Damn… Seriously?” She muttered as she tugged on a handle attached to the plastic doors. “Do people really steal these or something?”
As she peered through the clear plastic to get a look, another employee passed by in her peripheral vision.
“Hello?” Daniella whispered. “Can I get someone to help me with these pregnancy tests?”
The woman nodded. “Yes, of course. One second.”
She walked a few feet away from Daniella and picked up the receiver from a phone on the wall. The store intercom screeched to life.
“Good evening shoppers…” the woman began. “Attention associates… Guest needs assistance in aisle eight. Pregnancy test key is required. Thank you.”
Daniella lowered her head. “Oh man…” she muttered.
The woman hung up the phone and with a pleasant smile on her face she said, “Someone will be right with you.”
“Um, okay…” Daniella replied. “Thank you.”
Even though only less than thirty seconds ticked by, it felt like forever. While she waited for someone to come and pry open the fortification around the tests, she clutched at her bag with a nervous, tense grip. She wanted to get this over with and the sooner, the better.
“Daniella?” A voice said from behind her. It was familiar in a vague way but not one she recognized at first. That is, until she turned around. It her mother’s bridge partner, Babs. The same woman whose son she’d blown off twice in the past couple of weeks.
“Oh, hi… Babs.” Daniella stammered.
Babs Simpson was about the same age as her mom. In fact, in many ways, they were alike. Babs was a bit taller than her mom was but otherwise, they had nearly identical hairstyles and taste in clothes. Daniella saw her on a handful of occasions since she and her mom became friend. Their conversations were short and pleasant but not much more.
“I haven’t seen you for a while,” Babs began. “Marilyn tells me you are working in Pine Hill now. Do you like it there?”
Daniella nodded and tugged a lose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes, um, it’s nice so far.”
As Babs listened, she smiled at Daniella and readjusted her purse strap over her left arm. It was a matter of time before the subject of Harold came up. Daniella was all but certain of it. So instead of waiting for Babs to say something, Daniella decided to do it herself.
“Babs… Look, I need to apologize to you about the situation with Harold.”
Babs raised her right hand. “No need, Daniella. Besides, if you want to apologize to anyone, it should be Harold.”
“You’re right,” Daniella replied. “As soon as I get a chance, I will call him and straighten things out.”
“Why wait?” Babs said. “He’s here with me right now.”
“Harold… is here?” Daniella said. She cast a nervous glance in every direction.
“Yes, we came to pick up his allergy medicine. He should be here any moment.” Babs replied. She gestured towards the opposite end of the store and said, “We’ve got to get a few things so I was going to pick them up while he waited and…”
Babs remained quiet for a moment and looked around either side of Daniella. It was obvious she was curious about why Daniella stood where she did. Daniella’s face began to flush. Panic started to creep into her awareness. There was little doubt Babs would be on the phone to her mother in no time unless she played it off somehow. She needed to find Tricia and get out of there as fast as she could.
“Well,” Daniella said with an awkward clearing of her throat. “I, um, really do need to run.” She started to walk and as she did, Babs stepped in her way, partially blocking her path.
“I thought you were going to wait here for Harold?” Babs said.
The woman’s sudden maneuver caught Daniella by surprise. “Yes, well, I forgot I have something I need to take care of. I’m sorry about that.”
“I understand.” Babs replied. “I’m sure you two will work things out before too long. At least, I hope so.”
“Definitely,” Daniella began. “Well, I really should get going.”
Daniella hesitated for a moment. She wasn’t certain if she tried to get around Babs a second time that the woman would let her do it. At the last second, Daniella spun on her heels and without another word started in the other direction. However, as she turned to leave, a heavy set man who looked to be about ten years older than her appeared from nowhere.
“Oh, excuse me.” Daniella said as she narrowly missed a collision with him. She was on the verge of continuing past him when Babs stopped her in her tracks.
“Harold!” Babs exclaimed. “Just in time.”
Oh no.
Before Daniella stood her middle aged, motorcycle riding, man-boobed, fix up, Harold the Accountant. Daniella staggered backwards. It couldn’t be.
“It’s about time you two kids met.” Babs said with a wide smile on her face.
“Son,” she began. “This is Marilyn’s daughter… Daniella.”
Harold smiled and extended his hand to shake hers. His complexion was a strange, off white color. It wasn’t pale; it was more like the shade of newspaper print. There was no way this could get any worse, or weirder.
“Hi, Daniella it’s a pleathure to meet you.” He said.
A lisp. Of course. Well, that did it…
Daniella cursed her mother inwardly for a moment and summoned what calmness remained. She extended her hand to meet his and as she did, a store employee appeared carrying a heavy carabiner keychain. Daniella’s hand fell to her side as the horror of the moment ratcheted up yet again.
For a split second, the four of them stood in silence. The employee
stopped in his tracks and looked at each of them. After a pause, he seemed confident Babs was beyond the need to check for a child so he turned his attention to Daniella.
“Which pregnancy test did you want to see, ma’am?”
Daniella’s eyes widened. “Uh, oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She choked. “You… you must have me confused with someone else.”
“Pregnant?” Babs gasped.
The employee looked at Babs like she was nuts and then a second later he looked back at Daniella. “Alright, well, I was told there was a woman in this aisle with jeans and tan t-shirt who needed access to the pregnancy tests. You… are wearing jeans… and a tan t-shirt. Seems like it should be you. Did you want to see one or not?”
Babs’ looked as if she were about to faint. Harold pushed his thick glasses up the bridge of his nose. Otherwise, he seemed unaffected by the revelation that his supposed blind date was shopping for pregnancy tests.
“No, there’s been a mistake. A misunderstanding!” Daniella said in an excited tone.
“So… you don’t want to see the tests then?” The employee asked.
“Me? No.” Daniella replied. “In fact, I…”
At that instant, Tricia came showed up with an armload of stuff including soda, detergent, and toilet paper. Oblivious to the significance of the moment, not to mention the people involved, she asked, “Well, did you get the pregnancy test, yet?”
***
“What?” Daniella was on the verge of a panic attack. Her mind raced with visions of the pregnancy telephone game that was sure to follow. Babs was already ticked at Daniella. If she didn’t think of something, and quick, her mom would blow her phone up worse than a cold calling insurance salesman. Eight eyeballs stared at Daniella, each one of them in search of a different answer from her. Panicked, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind…
“No, how could I?” Daniella replied as she lowered her eyes and stared at Tricia. “You… didn’t tell me which one you wanted.”
A pause hung in the air. In the distance, a price check request for cough medicine rang out over the intercom. The group turned its collective attention to Tricia in the hopes that a resolution to the pregnancy test issue might be at hand. Tricia glanced around the strange faces and then back towards Daniella. As she did, Daniella started to nod in an expectant manner.
“Remember?” Daniella said with a leading tone. “You asked me to pick up the test for you while you grabbed a few things…?”
Tricia clutched the assortment of home goods in her arms and nodded in mock understanding. “Yes… I…” she began. “Sorry. I’ve been a bit scatterbrained today.”
Her eyes moved from one person to the next as she spoke.
“After all,” she said with a nervous laugh. “It’s not every day a woman thinks she might be pregnant.”
Of everyone, the store employee seemed to be the most relieved.
“Great,” he said. “Which test did you want?”
“Oh… I…” Tricia said. “I forget. Daniella, which one was it again?”
Daniella nodded and replied, “It’s the one in the far right. The one that has the digital display.”
With that, the man unlocked the case, retrieved the test, and handed it to Daniella. In a tone laced with relief and fatigue he said, “Is there anything else I can help you with ma’am?”
Daniella clutched the box and shook her head. “No, no thank you. Thanks for your patience. Sorry about the mix-up.”
“No problem, happy to help.” He replied as he locked the case.
As he left, Daniella turned to Babs. “Babs, this is my friend, Tricia.”
“Pleasure to meet you my dear.” Babs replied. She motioned towards her son and said, “This is my son Harold.”
Tricia nodded her head. “Oh, ohh… You’re Harold?”
“Yeth,” he said. “Nith to meet you.”
Tricia smiled as she shook his hand. “Yes, it’s… nice to meet you as well… finally. Daniella’s told me so much about you.”
“Oh? Is that right?” Babs replied with a curious tone.
Daniella’s head snapped towards her friend. No way was she going to let Tricia drag her down this rabbit hole.
“Yes,” Daniella began. “And as much as I wish we could get into all that right now, Tricia was feeling quite ill earlier. I’m sure what she’d like to do more than anything right now is get home and rest. Isn’t that right?”
Tricia shook her head. “No, I feel pretty good actually. I’m not sure what happened but all of a sudden my nausea kind of went away.”
“Oh you poor thing,” Babs said. “It is awful isn’t it? Why, I remember when I was pregnant with Harold. Oh! I was a mess for a while early on. Hopefully, it will get better for you as time passes.”
“Well, no sense taking a chance with it, right?” Daniella interrupted. “I’m sure you’re eager to get home and see the results of the test… aren’t you?”
“Yes…” Tricia replied in a nonchalant tone. “I suppose.”
Daniella leaned in, hugged Babs and apologized to Harold for being so flaky. With the promise that she wouldn’t let much more time go by before they got together, they made their way through checkout and back to Tricia’s car.
“I am going to kill you…” Daniella threatened as they climbed inside the vehicle.
“What? What did I do?” Tricia replied in an innocent tone as she turned the key in the ignition.
“Uh!” Daniella exclaimed. “You cannot be serious right now. Back there? What the hell was that?”
“Oh, I was just having some fun with you.” Tricia chuckled. “What’s the big deal anyway?”
Daniella shook her head in disgust when all of a sudden something delightful occurred to her. She began to chuckle as well.
“What’s so funny?” Tricia asked.
“Oh nothing…”
“Bull… what is it?”
With an impish grin, Daniella turned towards her. “Let’s see…” she began. “By now, Babs is on the phone with my mom. At some point, the topic of you buying a pregnancy test will come up and…”
“Shit!” Tricia exclaimed. “My mother!”
Daniella laughed.
“That’s not funny, Daniella.” Tricia warned. “What the hell am I supposed to tell her? She’s gonna stroke out if Marilyn calls her.”
“When she calls her…”
Tricia chewed her lower lip as she backed the car up. “I am screwed. What the hell am I going to tell her? This is your fault, Daniella.”
“My fault?” Daniella scoffed. “You are the one that dragged me here to buy the damn test.”
“Damn it…” Tricia grumbled.
“Look,” Daniella said. “Just tell her you bought it for your neighbor. What’s her name? The one who lives down from you. The one with all the kids.”
“Oh yeah,” Tricia replied. “Becca… Good idea. Hell, I’m not even dating right now so she’ll buy it.”
“Let’s hope so…” Daniella said.
“Hah!” Tricia replied. “You better hope so. If she doesn’t, I’m rolling over on you. There’s no way I want her on my ass over your pregnancy test.”
“I’m not worried about it.” Daniella lied.
***
Angry phone calls or not, Daniella had more dire issues to deal with in the moment. Once they arrived back Daniella’s apartment, the veiled threat of irate moms fast became a distant memory. She rushed inside, tore open the packaging of the pregnancy test, and scanned the instructions.
Tricia walked in behind her and closed the front door.
“You know…” Tricia began. “For someone who didn’t want that an hour ago, you sure seemed to have changed your mind.”
Daniella ignored her as she mumbled to herself and read the directions. “Use a watch… point the tip downward… stream or sample…”
“What are you doing?” Tricia interrupted.
“Shh!” Daniella replied. “I�
�m trying to read the instructions! Okay… five seconds… three minutes… plus, minus… got it.”
She finished opening the remainder of the packaging and placed it on the counter. Unfortunately, she felt as if she were about to be sick again. Only this time, the nausea was different from before. She’d never been so nervous in her life.
“I can’t do it…” Daniella said as she dropped the test stick on the counter and took several steps back.
“What?” Tricia said. “Why not?”
Daniella looked at her with fear in her eyes. “I mean, what if… you know?”
“It’s positive?” Tricia asked.
“Yeah, it’s not like Jett’s a normal guy or something.” Daniella stammered.
“So what?” Tricia said with a confused look on her face. “Someone gave birth to him, right? I don’t understand what you are getting at.”
A hard lump formed in Daniella’s throat. If she told Tricia the truth about what happened to Jett’s birth mother, well, things would get real crazy, real quick, if the test came back positive. Rather than create a new set of problems for herself, she decided not to say anything.
“It’s nothing…” Daniella lied. “I guess I’m nervous is all.”
Tricia walked over to Daniella. “I’m right here.” She said as she leaned in and embraced her. “No matter what the results, I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”
Daniella nodded as they embraced. “I know. Thank you.”
A few seconds later, they broke free of one another.
“Well?” Tricia said. “That test won’t take itself.”
“I know,” Daniella began. “I’m going…”
Daniella made her way into the bathroom and took the test. Now, there was precious little to do except wait out what would be the longest three minutes of her life. She started the timer on her cell phone and exhaled.
This was not the way she imagined this moment in her life unfolding. Sure, there was every chance she would have still used a pregnancy test but otherwise, not even close. She figured if she ever got pregnant in the first place it would be because she was in love and with any luck, married for God’s sake.
This circumstance wasn’t in any crystal ball she owned.
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