Diesel passed me and gave me a subtle nod. In a moment, he disappeared into the crowd.
I couldn’t leave, not yet. I waited, watching the train slither away. At two o’clock, beneath one of the carriages, the bomb exploded. Bright red erupted above the carriages. Dark smoke dispersed into the stormy sky and I remained the only calm person amongst a crowd of frantic screaming.
“They may not take part in any…thin…g, they must just look on for… for—”
“Forever.”
“Forever.”
“That’s great, Hiro.” I stepped back from reading over his shoulder and continued roaming the library shelves. Disintegrating spines from history’s oldest teachings felt misplaced in a cold, damp building. They belonged in people’s hands. To be taught and learnt.
“Reading is hard.” He flopped down.
“It’s important to learn.”
“And what about you, huh? What have you been learning exactly?”
I glanced over at the pile of books accumulating over the months. They were heavily-detailed books on medicine, quantum physics, chemical engineering, computer programing and psychology. They were outdated but I got my hands on anything capable of expanding my knowledge.
“Once I understand it better myself, I’ll teach you.”
The cold grasp of winter penetrated the walls, colouring our breaths with white mist. We kept off the roads as much as possible, only moving when supplies ran low or Diesel needed a new battery for Rocko. The old state library was perhaps the last place to house this many books. Age and moths had eaten most, but those reserved behind plastic coatings had a better chance of lasting the winter than we did. Weeks rolled by without any incidents. I wasn’t sure if they believed our trap, if the charred remains of the two strangers were enough to figure out they weren’t who they thought they were. But we were more careful now, knowing one mistake could bring the Blue Dons on top of us. Or worse, the Elite.
“Hey, do you know much about your Asian culture?” I asked, pulling an old book down from the shelves. On the cover were characters of the Chinese language. I wondered briefly what country Hiro’s genes were from, but I doubt either of us knew or really cared.
Hiro shook his head.
“Try to guess what I am saying.” I opened it up to the first page and cleared my throat. “Ni Hao.”
“Say it again.”
“Ni Hao.”
“Oh, that’s easy. Your knees hurt.”
I laughed. “No. Ni is spelt N-I, and Hao is spelt H-A-O.”
“Oh, okay. Ni’s knees hurt?”
“No, dummy, I’m saying hello in Chinese.” I shook my head, loosening a laugh. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Before the war of the 2280s, the Chinese language had become so common it took over as the primary language of the world, surpassing English.”
“If that’s true then why aren’t we speaking Chinese? What happened?”
“The same thing that always happens.” I snapped the book shut and pulled the next one down from the shelf. I felt a little proud being able to teach Hiro something about our history.
“Hey, Nadia.” I turned at Diesel’s call. Thick jackets hugged him in dark blue, drawing out the pink tinge in his cheeks. Snowflakes nestled in his thickened black beard and disappeared into his clothes, leaving damp patches. He beckoned us from the door threshold. “I’ve cracked it.”
Diesel led us across the road to the largest hospital in the entire country. It was one of the few that remained in operation, congested with people who still valued their health, some only there hoping to score meds. It was busy, loud and filled with the demands of a stressful crowd.
We barely fit inside the waiting room. People fought for seats, fought for floor space, even fought for the right to walk through the doors. Guards manned the entrance but gave Diesel the nod and allowed us through. Hospitals like this were once white. I could see it behind the built-up blood, vomit and dirt hastily mopped up from the corridors.
We shoved our way through the overcrowded foyer and around the chaos in the hallway where patients laid out head to toe on trolley beds on the ground. Nurses and doctors were fleeting blurs, dashing from room to room. Even with the Care Droids’ help, it was still too much. Severe nervous breakdowns destroyed most of the remaining medical staff. If not, insanity found them.
“This way.” Diesel took us down the working elevators and into the deserted morgue. The dead now had their own wing, but the morgue carried traces of the mosquito virus. Rocko’s head sat on a throne of bolts, pipes and wires overspilling the counter. Directly opposite it in an intimate setup was a bare high back chair with a head brace.
“Seems cosy,” I said sarcastically.
Hiro circled around, eyeing the hatches leading into the built-in coffins in the walls. He crossed his arms. “This isn’t also the recovery room, is it?”
“Would you rather be upstairs?” Diesel asked.
“I’d rather not do this at all.”
“We talked about this, Hiro. It’s the only way to protect you from the Dons. Unless you want to be frozen again,” I reasoned.
Hiro shrugged, still uncertain. “It wasn’t so bad inside the tank.”
“They were unfreezing you for a reason and I doubt it was to check in to see if you were comfortable.” Diesel stepped around the table and untied the braces on the head straps.
On the counter were a handful of marbles with tiny discoloured burn marks all over them. I picked one up and inspected it. So, this is what my eye is going to look like.
“Are you positive this is going to work? You only get to burn our eyes once.”
Diesel nodded. “I tested them on this with a ninety-seven percent success rate. The Sweepers have similar scanners. If they pass here then they will pass out there.” He took a mobile device out of his pocket with the eye scanner application opened. “Soulless boy, you’re up first.”
Hiro cautiously took a seat and I stepped around to help him with the head straps. Diesel injected anesthetic into his neck and put eyedrops into his eyes, narrowing the black pupil. Hiro’s hands tensed into fists.
I gently touched his shoulder. “You’re going to be fine. It’ll only last a moment.”
“Okay, just a quick setup.” Diesel applied tongs to Hiro’s eyes, forcing them wider. He turned the lasers on and measured them carefully for distance. A red laser blinked on, marking a large X on both eyeballs. I couldn’t watch. I turned my head down, focusing more on Hiro’s face. His eyeballs flickered. “Look right here,” Diesel instructed. “Whatever you do, don’t look away.”
Hiro looked straight ahead. After minor tweaking, the red light went green, confirming an aligned hit. The lasers started shuttering rapidly. Hiro tensed up. Instinctively, he tried to blink only to have Diesel bark at him.
“Don’t look away.”
Hiro’s face tightened painfully. He peeled his lips back over gritting teeth. Between breaths, he grunted in agony. The green flashing sped up and then suddenly stopped.
“Are we done? Are we… guys? Wait. Did you turn the lights off? Guys! I-I can’t see.” Hiro’s eyes darted left and right, searching the dark for us. “I’m blind! I can’t see at all!”
Diesel quickly stepped around and took out the tongs, applying eye ointment and cotton pads to Hiro’s eyes. “Stop your whining.” Diesel smirked. “The blindness is only temporary. You’ll have your sight back in thirty-six hours.” He pulled Hiro out and took him to the counter to lie down. Then he turned to me. “Nadia, are you ready?”
I sat in the chair and Diesel tightened the straps to my forehead. I looked dead ahead into Rocko’s chipped away skull, unable to see a face beyond the cluster of lights, wires and metal.
“Whose prints are you using?” My voice trembled.
“Someone who will make our lives much easier.”
I didn’t ask anymore. My heart rate sped up. My fingers curled to fists. Diesel stepped around and adjusted the range. The tongs pulled my skin. Droplets bl
urred my vision. A prick of a needle pinched my neck. I felt the numbness crawl upward. It cooled my thoughts, tingling the cold in my cheeks. The red light blinked a couple of times and then turned green. I took a deep breath. No more hiding. No more running. Diesel gave me a brisk nod. Don’t look away.
Diesel took Hiro and I out of the busy hospital and set us up in a secured townhouse not too far. Even though he assured me of our safety, I still felt my skin prickle. In the dark, I was vulnerable. I felt louder than I was. Weaker than I had ever felt before.
Living in a dark world pricked my ears with increased sensitivity. The rustle of clothes turned my head. The creak of a floorboard. The drip of a leaking tap. Beneath the itching in my head came the intense irritation from my healing eyes. My fingers twitched to scratch. Stuck behind the darkness made it impossible for us to move.
Hiro slept in the room next to mine but he may as well be on the other side of the street. With no idea of my surroundings, I was hesitant to explore. I only knew what I had been told. We were in a house. We were safe. In the room next door, I heard Diesel talking to Hiro. I pressed my ear against the wall, catching bits of his sentence. Even in my blindness, my eyes stared in the direction of their voices.
“…through the left one mostly.”
“…normal…tonight.”
“…longer can we stay?”
“Not…later.”
Footsteps moved about the room. I sat up straight and edged my fingers along the mattress. The blankets were frayed, old and thin. I teased my fingertips along the edge where my nail caught on a thread, finding a zipper. Oh! It’s a jacket. I pulled it up to my nose and inhaled. Diesel’s jacket.
“Nadia.” Diesel’s voice came from the doorway. I turned my head toward him. “How are you feeling?”
“Probably better than I look.” I smiled.
I couldn’t tell if my digging for a compliment had landed with Diesel. He stepped closer. “Up for a stroll?”
“Wouldn’t mind some sightseeing,” I joked.
He eased his hands down my shoulders and gripped my elbow, helping me stand. I linked my arm through his and held my free hand stretched out. He took me outside where I could hear the scrunch of snow under my boots.
“What time is it?”
“Early. Here.” Diesel eased me up to what felt like a bicycle. My hands padded down the handlebars and found the extra seat.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a bike.”
“No, I mean what is it for?”
“To ride.”
“Diesel, don’t be a smart-ass.”
Diesel laughed. “Hop on. It’ll take us too long to walk.”
I hesitantly climbed onto the back with my legs planted on either side of me. I felt the bike tilt with Diesel’s weight. I wrapped my arms around his torso and pressed myself against his back. My heart rate doubled. Diesel’s shoulder joints rolled as he positioned himself onto the seat. Heat gently cupped my cheek. The bike tipped back and I lifted my legs off the ground by an inch, feeling Diesel counterbalance my weight. The metal rims squeaked.
“I’m really nervous.” I laughed.
“I can tell.”
The bike groaned beneath us as Diesel kicked off. He bobbed up and down in my grip, his legs pumping the foot pedals and soon the bike fell into a smooth momentum. Diesel’s heart rate was a faint, gentle pulse against my ear. Against the harsh breeze, I could barely hear it. The wind picked up. I eased away from Diesel’s back and tilted my head up, listening to the sounds of the outside world. It was quiet for the most part, with the exception of the bike’s rotating click in one of the wheels. We must have ridden for an hour at least. My numb butt started to ache from the uncomfortable seat. Birds chirped far off and the smell of muddy snow became thicker. Diesel’s breathing was hoarse with exhaustion. His body radiated clammy heat. I could almost feel the sweat through his damp layers. The road disappeared into bumpy gravel. Diesel eased the brakes on and kicked out the kickstand. I edged off the seat as Diesel walked around me, guiding me with a hand on each arm.
“Nearly there.”
We walked down a small hill where my boots hit water. I stopped immediately.
“We’re not going for a swim, are we?”
“It’s called a bath. Believe me, you need one.”
“Sometimes you can be such a dick!”
He laughed and I smiled at his genuine chuckle. He was so calm. So carefree. I felt around the space in front to find nothing. The only hint was the dip in the soft dirt beneath my shifting weight. His fingertips surprised me as he stepped closer. They touched my cheeks and moved gently down along my jaw and chin. I tilted my head up at his coaxing. He leant closer, brushing his cheek and mouth past my earlobe. He moved slowly, softly. Fingers trailing. Studying. Caressing every inch of my face, running along my cheeks, lips, neck and nose. My heart pounded in my eardrums. The twist of unknown fear knotted my stomach and every brush of skin contact intensified the longing. He dropped his hands and reached around my head. I could hear the rustle of his jacket up against my cheek. I could smell the dirty sweat on his face. Feel the touch of his breath. I tensed up inside his arms, my breath shaking out of me. His voice warmed my cold skin.
“Keep them closed.”
The bandage around my head loosened. The cloth slipped and fell and a gentle red illuminated the back of my eyelids. Light. His hands found my face again, smoothing his palms and fingers along my cheeks and into my hair. It felt sensational. So private. I licked my lips and reached up to touch his hand. Such large, warm hands. Hands that bled fighting for me. Hands that knew the curve of my neck, the touch of my bare stomach. Then his hands were gone. He stepped back and instinctively I fluttered my eyes open.
Bright white cut across the sky. Light haloed Diesel’s body, catching the dirt in the dark bristles along his jaw. His unsure grin seemed peaceful, tilting his head to the left. His deep brown eyes softened.
I looked out behind him to a road sunken into the earth, creating a stream that stretched between the remains of the buildings. Vines wrapped the walls and bridged the two towers in ivory drapes. Trees grew taller than the houses, their branches and trunks sticking out of the sides, creating a roof of weeping branches. Flowers dying from the harsh winter wilted into the stream. Petals floated down. Pink. Yellow. Red. Blue. It snowed in colours. At the end of the street, a lone house sat on a large abandoned ranch. My mind instantly went to the utopian poster. The lavish green. The stretch of water. I stepped around him and into the stream, feeling the cold seep into my shoes. I had no words.
“I saw the poster in your backpack.” I turned around at Diesel’s voice. He shoved his hands into his pockets, giving me a small shrug. “I thought, after everything, you could have a place to come back to. I know it’s not much. The ranch at the end needs some work, but it’s liveable.” He stepped closer, his dark eyes brightening. “It’s okay if you don’t like it—”
“I love it.” From the deepest depths of my heart, mind, body and soul, I ached for this life with him. “Thank you.”
He stepped closer. He didn’t drop his eyes from mine. Hands in his pockets, he stopped within an inch of me. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against my own. We stood still. Quiet. I closed my eyes as I sensed he had closed his too. In this moment, we shared our silence. We shared our fears, dreams, wants and vulnerabilities. We shared a breath, becoming one that flowed through him and into me. The world became so much smaller. Less scary. Our bodies warmed at each other’s serenity. We connected in a way that surpassed touching and words. One damaged soul with a soulless.
“Let’s never leave,” I whispered.
Diesel smiled. He pulled my chin up and kissed me. The peeking sun warmed our backs. The cold could not touch us. The world could not harm us. “We never will.”
I reached closer, touching his face, familiarizing myself with the sharp curve of his cheekbones where it trailed into his prickly beard. How blessed I am to have this l
ove. How lucky we are. Diesel was not always gentle, but he was gentle with me. He was fierce in his desires. He was protective. He allowed me to back away when I was overwhelmed, and chased me when I wanted to be chased. My mind and eyes opened at the clip of his teeth on my lip and neck. He bit deeply with his kiss. The grunt of his breath hot on my skin. He shoved me up against the wall. I arched at his touch. Passion came in so many forms. It came in his desperate moans when he yanked at my clothes. It came in his silence. In the unspoken words that had no place in our world. It also came in the moments we held our breaths, shuddering beneath each other. In so many ways, I was thankful to be able to experience this, but at the same time, I felt exposed. He promised I would never fear losing someone again when he had just created something for me to fear losing.
“If this is my last chance at life then I want to spend it with you,” he whispered, his voice low and brittle with uncertainty.
Despite the softness of his words, my body tightened, and I shook. Don’t wish that. Don’t say that. I almost spoke my thoughts.
This cannot possibly end well for us. The memory burned. I’m sure you saw your future in that tank just as clearly as I saw my future in Annie.
My fingers cut into his back. He could easily fade away from me, permanently. I closed my eyes. For once, I was thankful I never had to live again.
Chapter Eighteen:
After travelling for months with dirt caught in the folds of my skin, we finally came across a gymnasium with working plumbing. Finally, I was able to see the white under my nails and the gentle pink on my nose tip. I reached out and cleared the wet residue off the mirror. The woman in front of me had aged. Stress pinched the corners of her eyes into folds and her unevenly chopped brown hair kinked at her jaw line. This face wore the tears from losing Annie, the tears of rage, of love and fear and a nose broken and set out of place. This body survived fire. Survived bullets. Survived the cold, starvation and deadly punches. I loved this body. With all its scars, bruises and ugliness, this body continued to carry me. It picked me up when I wanted to fall down. It gave me strength when I thought I had none left. And now, even though I couldn’t see it, it carried the key to everything we need. The soul imprint I always felt robbed of an identity.
Soul Finder (The Immortal Gene Book 2) Page 15