Together in ruins (The Scars series Book 4)

by Rachael Tonks

  “Picnic,” he sings, walking over to me. Placing down the basket, he shakes out the blanket, placing it on the grass. “Take a seat, madam.”

  With a huge smile plastered on my face, I slowly ease myself down. Tilting my face toward the sun, I soak up the heat.

  “I like the silence,” I murmur. “No music, no loud voices. Just the sound of nature and us. I think you found my little piece of perfection.”

  Opening my eyes, Nate’s face comes closer to mine as he’s in front of me on all fours. Kissing me, Nate makes a smacking sound on contact and I can’t help but giggle, falling back against the blanket. Reaching for his cut, I take him with me and he lands softly on top of me.

  “That smile, Tara. So fucking good to see it again.”

  “Yeah, but this one. It’s different, happier.”

  He pushes himself up like he’s doing a push-up. Sitting back on the blanket he digs into the basket, laying the food out in front of us.

  “You gotta eat,” he says, his tone suddenly more serious. “You also need to keep hydrated.” His eyes fall to my stomach and it’s like a sucker punch to my gut. The one thing I don’t want to think about, yet the one thing I can’t run from. That I can’t escape.

  “Don’t,” I say, sitting upright and pulling my legs beneath me. I allow my shoulders to slump at the realization that I can’t hide from this problem.

  “Don’t what?” he asks, clearly confused.

  “The baby, Nate. I’m terrified. So scared that this life growing inside me is a permanent reminder of him.”

  Handing me a soda, he doesn’t say anything, but I see the thought in his eyes. How he’s thinking about what to say.

  “Tara, we don’t know that there’s any truth in the shit Jeffries spewed.” Taking my free hand, he pulls me closer. With his hand under my legs he drags me into his lap. “I really thought, well hoped, that you’d come to terms with the pregnancy.”

  “I did… I had… but I was holding on to hope. Wishing that it’s your baby. Because I know I can love it if it’s part of you. But what he said, he made me doubt everything. I need to know. I can’t go into this blind. Having a child is life-changing.”

  “And I will. I’ll get you the answers. Give me time, baby. But promise me one thing.”

  “What?”

  “That you won’t give up on the baby. I fucking hate what happened to you, and I see the pain that it causes you, even behind those fake smiles. But we can do this. Together.”

  Placing the can down, I lean into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Together,” I repeat.

  “Listen, I want our time together to be fun. Just for tonight, let’s forget all of our troubles.”

  With a smirk, I wiggle from his hold, my ass dropping down against the blanket. Grabbing the can of soda, I shake it before pulling back the ring pull, spraying the contents at Nate. Springing up from the ground, Nate drags his hand over his face trying to remove the soda.

  He laughs and lifts a brow in amusement. “You know this means war, right?”

  “Shit,” I laugh, grabbing the basket. I step back, holding the basket tightly against my torso. “You gotta get it first.”

  Turning on my heel, I start to sprint away. Granted, not very fast with my healing leg. I squeal, checking over my shudder to see Nate on my heels. His arms wind around my waist, lifting me from the ground.

  “Uh-uh, no you don’t.”

  “Okay, okay, you got me.” Dipping my hand back inside the basket, I discreetly pull out another can. Nate’s head dips to my collarbone and he starts to pepper small kisses on the sensitive skin. I feel my legs weaken and my heart beat a little harder at the contact. Lowering my hand I let the basket fall to the ground as my need to give in to him increases with every soft touch of my skin.

  “That’s a dirty game you’re playing, Nate,” I joke.

  “This isn’t part of the game, it’s me no longer being able to hold back. It’s me kissing you because I want to. Because I know this makes you feel something, doesn’t it?”

  I feel something alright. The tingle between my thighs that are clenched together.

  I reach up, placing my hand at the nape of his neck.

  Shit.

  The last thing I thought I wanted was to be touched. But feeling it now, that’s exactly what I need. I feel my clit swollen and pulsating as his hand grazes down my side. Anticipation of his touch causes me to shudder. Slowly, he moves his hand to my hip but inside, I’m desperate for him to touch me where I need it the most. Not so subtly, I part my legs and arch my back, urging him to feel how wet I’ve become for him.

  “You want me?”

  “So bad,” I reply a little breathlessly, turning on the spot until I’m facing him.

  “I don’t want to rush you, baby.”

  My body wants him to touch me, my mind craves it.

  His strong arms scoop me up from the ground and back over to the picnic blanket.

  “Shall we take this inside?”

  I shake my head. “It’s so perfect here.”

  Lowering me down, I recognize the look in his eyes. He wants to devour me and I want to feel it more. As he leans over me, my fingers work into his hair, tugging him closer to my lips. As they meet, my mouth parts allowing him access. Our kiss is deep and sensual and his hands work to remove me of my clothes. My skirt is lifted and my panties are around my ankles within seconds. My eyes close and my legs widen as I feel his finger trail softly on the inside of my thigh. My whole body tingles as every nerve ending in my body comes alive.

  “Jesus,” I gasp, the need for him to touch me building to an unbearable level.

  “Tell me how much you want this, baby.”

  “Feel.” I grab his hand, leading it toward my swollen clit. “Feel how much I want this.”

  “Shit,” he hisses.

  With a groan, my head drops to the side as he works through my folds, back and forth, catching and teasing my needy clit. Hitting it perfectly.

  “So fucking beautiful when you squirm under my touch.”

  Continuing to tease me, I cry out in frustration. “Fuck.”

  My skin is hot and sweaty, my heart rate rapid. Before I can process what is happening his hot mouth meets my swollen clit. I gasp, lifting my hips as his mouth covers my sweet spot.

  My eyes fly open at the delicious contact.

  He murmurs, swiping his tongue over my clit before making his way down to my soaking entrance. Thrusting his tongue inside, I’m barely holding on. He uses his tongue to edge me closer and closer to my release. Working against my clit, then back inside touching and tasting all of me. I reach down, grabbing his hair as he continues his assault. My hips move against him.

  “I’m so fucking hard for you. Do you want to feel me?” He breathes his hot breath against me.

  Dots blur my vision and I know I’m close. So damn close.

  “I want you to come on my cock, baby.”

  “Yes,” I rush out, desperate to find my release. Pulling on my hips he lowers his zipper, his erection springing free. Lining himself up at my entrance, I wrap my legs around him tightly, digging my heels into the flesh of his ass.

  In one swift movement, he pushes himself inside of me and I press against him, wanting and needing to feel him deep. The most beautiful smile appears on his handsome face as he leans over me, kissing me softly on the forehead.

  Another shudder wracks through me.

  He pushes deeper.

  I let out another gasp.

  The pressure builds and I dig my nails into the skin of his abdomen.

  This feels so damn good.

  “Look at me,” he demands. “I want to see your face when you come.”

  Bringing my head upright, I open my eyes to find him staring at me. Every thrust feels deeper, a little harder than before. My sex tightens around his cock and I can feel the ridges of his cock inside me.

  I cry out, hugging myself around him. Nate grins widely before dropping his head until
our mouths meet again. I taste myself on his lips as he kisses me as deeply as he’s fucking me. The movements of his tongue against mine matching his thrusts.

  Rough.

  Deep.

  Delicious.

  With every thrust, Nate rubs against my clit. I grow closer and closer to my much-needed orgasm.

  His touch is all I need to feel.

  This man is all I need.

  White spots form in my eyes as I’m being pushed further to the edge. My sex clenches so tightly around his cock as I shatter into a million pieces around him.

  Thrusting a few more times, I feel Nate swell inside of me, finding his own release.

  “Fuck,” he growls. Collapsing on the ground beside me, I can’t help but giggle, pushing down my skirt and pulling on my panties. He straightens his jeans before pulling me into him.

  “Can’t believe we just did that.” I continue to giggle, resting my head against his chest. His heart thuds against the side of my face and I love knowing that it’s for me that his heart pounds.

  Somehow, this feels like the start of forever. We had faced the devil himself and come out on the other side.

  “You know,” I say in an upbeat tone, pushing myself up until I’m leaning over him. “We made it, Nate. You and I fought to be here, together. I knew the first time you ever kissed me that you would be my forever. Not someone I could or would ever forget. And the fight for you has been tough. When you didn’t want me, I felt like my world was falling apart…”

  “I was stupid. I thought pushing you away would keep you safe. Safe from that man.”

  “I get it, really, I do. But what I’m trying to say is that against all odds and despite all of the pain we have endured, our love overcame it all.”

  “You’re amazing, you know that, right.” Reaching up, he pushes a few strands of hair that have fallen forward onto my face. “I can’t promise you that things will be easy, but I can promise that no matter what, I’ll be the one by your fucking side. It’s just us, baby. That’s all that matters to me.”

  The daylight starts to fade as we sit eating the food Nate has prepared, talking about everything and nothing. Nate seems lighter, like he’s carrying less weight, almost carefree. The moody biker was showing me a different side to him, a side I enjoyed. He’s warm, witty, and sweet when he’s this way.

  “Do you think we will ever get married?”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now!” His laughter rumbles and echoes in the wide-open space. “You’re fucking mine, Tara Mellano, and I can’t wait to tell the world.”

  Heat reaches my cheeks and I suddenly feel embarrassed, yet ecstatic about his answer.

  His hand in mine, I drop each of my fingers between his, interlinking each one. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Jeffries.” As soon as the word leaves my mouth, a lump forms in my throat. His name on my lips feels like acid. The small bubble of happiness feels like it’s burst.

  “It’s just a name, baby.” He squeezes my hand, dipping his head to meet my eye.

  I shake my head, clearing the thoughts of Jeffries from my mind. “I’m sorry. It’s just your dad. That was his name. And of course, I knew it was your name. But to me, you’re beautiful. You’re my Nate. The name Jeffries just holds so many bad feelings for me.”

  “I keep telling you, we’re going to erase those fucking awful memories. It’s time that name held a meaning that can make you smile. Don’t let him in your head. You do, and he’s won.”

  “I know you’re right.” But the truth is, I can’t help but feel this way. With a shiver, I lean into him. The cooler night air whips around me and I suddenly feel cold.

  Reaching for my other hand, he gently pulls, lifting me from the ground. “Let’s go inside,” he suggests with a smile.

  Nodding, I wrap my arms around him as we make our way inside the cabin.

  Inside, the cabin has real rustic charm. “Wow, a real log fire. That’s amazing.” I drop my hands making my way over to it, placing my palms toward the fire. Nate grabs the cushions from the couch, placing them on the floor.

  “Let’s lie here. Just us in front of the fire.”

  Stretching out my stiff body, I blink rapidly, the flickering of the fire catches my attention. Shit, we had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the fire.

  Lifting Nate’s heavy arm, I slowly step up from the floor, making my way over to the bathroom. I quickly pee then step out toward the counter, looking at myself in the reflection. Lifting the gauze from my neck, I look at the cuts. They appear to be healing well, but only time will tell. There’s a chance that I’ll be permanently scarred. My head constantly swings between being grateful that I’m alive, to feeling consumed by hate and upset at the person he made me become.

  Not only have I been physically changed, but mentally too. The carefree, tough-as-nails girl is something of the past. I feel weak, scared, and bitter about what I’ve been through. Dropping my gaze, I no longer want to look at the mess I’ve become. Slowly making my way out of the bathroom, I grab my purse and pull out my cell phone. Looking through the ton of notifications, I see calls and texts from Mom. I glance back over to Nate who is still sleeping before slipping out of the cabin. I hit the call button and listen to the dial tone. My stomach rolls and I feel the pulse in my neck pound as my nerves run ragged. I stroll across to the lake, sitting down on the edge while I wait for her to answer.

  “Tara, oh my God, are you okay?”

  “Hey, Mom.”

  “Don’t you ‘hey, Mom’ me, young lady. I’ve been out of my mind with worry. What the hell is going on with you?”

  “I’m sorry.” I drop my head, clutching my eyes shut.

  “Sorry?” she yells, letting me know just how pissed she is at me. “The last time I saw you, the unthinkable had happened. I spoke to you a few times after that, then nothing. I’ve called and called and for all I knew you could’ve been dead!”

  “Mom, I’m not dead.”

  “But something has happened, right?”

  “I’m going to tell you everything, but you have to promise to stay calm and hear me out.”

  “I’m calm,” she replies in a raised voice. She is anything but calm.

  “I’ve been caught in the middle of some real shit, Mom. The man… the man that raped me was Jeffries. Nate’s father.”

  “Jesus Christ…”

  “He had made threats against me. He was the one Carter made the deal with.”

  “Oh, baby girl,” she cries out.

  “Don’t, Mom. I don’t need your pity, I just need you to listen to me.”

  I hear her sniffling but she doesn’t say another word.

  “After what happened with Jeffries, Nate vowed to avenge his father. But he went on the run, No one knew where he was. The club searched for him, but never came up with any serious leads. But it wasn’t long, Mom. He sent someone for me and I was kidnapped. Thrown into the trunk and delivered straight to Jeffries. He was hiding out at one of the Deathseekers’ old warehouses.”

  “Did he hurt you, are you okay?” I hear the pain in her voice.

  “I’m alive,” I reply vaguely.

  “Clearly, but did he hurt you?”

  “Cuts and bruises but nothing that won’t heal. Nate found me, got me out of there just in time.”

  “Fuck, Tara. What the hell have you gotten yourself into?”

  Sighing, I know I have to now tell her about the baby.

  “Mom, I’m pregnant.”

  The line goes silent.

  “Mom?”

  “I’m here,” she mumbles.

  “I’m scared it’s not going to be Nate’s. I’m terrified that the baby I’m carrying is going to be Jeffries’ and that I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life. But I can’t get an abortion. I just can’t. If there’s a chance it’s Nate’s, I can’t do it.”

  “You’ll love the baby no matter what, Tara.”

  “But this lifestyle. The constant danger. It’s not safe for a baby.
I know Nate is working at taking the club in a new direction, but I’m not stupid. I know what risk comes with being an old lady.”

  “You know I hate the MC, Tara. Not just the Savages.”

  “Nate is a good guy, Mom.”

  “Nothing good ever comes from the club.”

  “Mom…”

  “I want to see you. I need to see you, Tara.” Shit. She sounds angry. Weirdly, I thought she’d taken the news well, but maybe she’s saving the ass-kicking until she sees me in person.

  “Well, I’m just at the cabin with Nate. We should be back later today. Maybe we could meet for coffee tomorrow? I’ll call you in the morning to arrange a time.”

  “I’d like that. You won’t forget?”

  “Of course not,” I say feeling really bad that I’d neglected to keep her updated.

  “I mean it, Tara. It’s important. I have things to tell you, things that you need to know.”

  “Like what?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.” Her voice is sad and my mind races at a million miles an hour wondering what she has to tell me.

  “Tomorrow then. Bye, Mom.”

  Ending the call, I get up, turning and heading back toward the cabin. My head is down, focused on my phone as I quickly respond to the twenty or so messages from Izzy asking me how our night away has been.

  It’s been amazing. The cabin and lake are stunning.

  Finally looking up from my phone I see Nate leaning against the frame of the door. My body becomes rigid and I’m pretty sure my heart stops beating. Even after just a few hours of sleep on the floor, this guy looks effortlessly gorgeous.

  “Who was that?”

  Holding up the phone I say, “Just my mom. She called like a million times.”

  “How did that go?” he asks with a scowl.

  “Better than expected. But still a hard conversation to have, considering she hates all things MC.”

  Stopping right in front of him, I place the palm of my hand against his bare chest, looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

  “I wonder why?”

  I smirk. “I can’t think why.”

  “No, seriously. When I came to see you at your mom’s, she made it clear that she has a deep hatred for bikers.”