by Dima Zales
“I told you, I needed to see you alone.”
“Yeah, well, we’re alone, so what do you want?”
“I need to know what it is you’re not telling Miku.”
“I’ve told her everything there is to know about me.”
“No, you haven’t. There’s something that sets you apart. The council wouldn’t have entrusted you with such an important object if they didn’t think you were special.”
“I’m nobody. Okay? I wasn’t even meant to be here!” I shout at him. I am angry that he is forcing me to have to say aloud what I always feared to be truth.
“What? What do you mean by that?” he asks.
“Get out,” I say with a mix of pain and self pity.
“This could be important. What do you mean you weren’t meant to be here?” he pushes.
I close my eye and wish I had Reese’s power. I would Blink myself to the other side of the world. I told Miku that my father had died before I was born. I couldn’t tell her the truth. No one aside from Uncle Max knew about my father. I didn’t want people to look at me and only see my mother’s rape.
I feel that had I told them that I was a product of rape, they would see the crime and not the girl who resulted from it. My mother has been able to see past my conception, but she’s special. Everyone else can’t be counted on to do the same.
Marcus waits for me to open my eyes. He stands over me looking concerned. I’m sure it has to do with the Triplex, everything does. So what if I have to split my life open and lay it out on the table for strangers to view? So long as the world is saved. Is it wrong to want to keep a painful part of my life to myself? Is it wrong to be mad at the guy who’s standing between you and Atourum?
“Emerson, I need to know.”
“Just leave me alone.”
He puts my medication on the coffee table along with a glass of water and walks out. The minute he does this I want to call him back. But what would I say?
“Hey, I know you don’t know me but I’m falling for you and I want you to leave your drop dead gorgeous model slash angel girlfriend and be with me. Oh and by the way, I’m the product of the most evil and horrendous crime a man can ever commit. So… you wanna grab a bite?”
I’m in pain again. I take the pills and drink the water Marcus poured for me. But they are ineffective. I can’t fault the pills. I don’t think they’re supposed to cure this kind of pain.
3
The next few weeks don’t get any easier. They are no closer to finding Julian. They are getting nervous because none of the leads had worked out. Even Jay was a little less jubilant than he used to be. I don’t know what Marcus told the others, but for the next few days, they let me get some distance. Miku still follows me around everywhere I go, but she gives me more space. They ask about my arm daily. I tell them it was all but healed. They make me go for another checkup. They also pay for me to go to physical therapy even though the doctor said I could do it on my own at home. Aside from that, they are pretty hands-off.
That’s not what I wanted. I didn’t mean that we couldn’t be friends. I just meant that…. Okay, I’m not sure what I meant. But this isn’t good. They need me to find the map and now I’ve pushed them away. Great, first I ruin my mom’s life by being born and now I’ll have a hand in ending humanity. This day calls for ice cream. Not the low fat stuff—the real deal.
I head to the kitchen and fix myself a big bowl of chocolate chocolate chip. I pour some milk for Ms. Charlotte and head into the living room. I turn on the TV, and, believe it or not, there are some decent movies on. But I’m not interested. I can’t stop thinking about Marcus.
Not in the same gaga way I usually do. I’m thinking about what it means that he’s the First Guardian. It can’t be easy to be in charge of five angels and saving the world. Then, to top it off, the only clue he has goes and falls for him. That kind of sucks. It’s not his fault I’m head over heels. It’s not his fault I can’t think straight when he’s around. His job isn’t to protect my feelings. His job is to save the world. Why should he have to put up with me and my emotions?
Well, I’m done playing the lovesick little girl. I’m gonna go over there and figure out a way to help them. And I won’t give Ameana’s boyfriend another thought. I get my coat, kiss Ms. Charlotte and head out to the angel house. I don’t see them around outside, but I know they try to stay hidden.
I hop on the bus and head to the house. I recall the first time I had been here. I was so terrified. Now, I confidently run up the stairs and knock on the frosted glass door. No one answers. I knock again, nothing. The door is unlocked. I guess you don’t have to worry about burglars when you can kill in like six different ways without even trying. I decide to go in.
I walk up the steps where I hear a conversation taking place. I think they’re having a meeting of sorts. Everyone is seated around the table. Reese and Jay appear to have just gotten there. I guess they were on guard duty tonight.
“I’m sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to talk to you guys for second. If that’s okay.”
Everyone looks up at me. No one objects outright so I continue.
“I just came to say I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. Miku, I’ll give you as much useless information as possible. I’ll tell you everything.” Well almost.
“It’s not really your fault. We popped into your life, expecting you to tell us everything about you when we haven’t really given you any info on us,” Miku says.
“It’s what you guys need to do to find the Triplex, so it’s understandable.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean the whole thing has to be so…,” Jay answers.
“Businesslike?” I offer.
“Yeah, so we’ll make it interesting for you,” Reese says with a wicked smile.
“How so?” I question.
“We’ll trade you a question for a question.”
“Sounds good,” I say taking a seat next to Miku.
Jay jumps in like he’s been waiting forever to ask this question. “Who looks better? Me or Blinker Boy over there?”
“Don’t worry, Mommy loves both of her boys equally,” I say, knowing full well they’re just teasing me.
“Okay, my turn. Why did you guys wait until mid January? Why not come as soon as midnight hit on New Years Day?”
Reese responds, “We had to check out some other information before we began the search.”
“Information about what, and from whom?” I ask.
“It doesn’t really concern you. We came to get you as soon as we could,” Marcus says bitterly.
“I thought we were going to be open and honest with each other. C’mon, you guys are supposed to answer my questions,” I say looking around the room.
“You asked a question and we answered it. Our turn,” Marcus says with the usual tone of finality.
“Fine, what do you want to know?”
“Why are you alone?” Marcus asks.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t go to parties. You don’t date. You don’t even go to movies with friends. Why is that?” he digs.
His eyes are fixed on me. He’s challenging me. Is he still mad that I kicked him out of my apartment? I thought angels are supposed to be forgiving. I refuse to blink or look away. I stay focused on him. The others become silent spectators.
“I’m not alone. I have my mom,” I say with righteous indignation.
“Yes, and your cat.”
“Ms. Charlotte, yes. It’s just us three and we’re fine with that.”
“Really?” he asks dubiously.
“My turn. Why did you ask me that?”
“I’m just asking to get to know you. Isn’t that the game?” he lies.
“What’s your problem?” I say unable to hold back.
“You mean besides the little girl in my living room who’s wasting my time, time that we don’t have to spare?”
“I am doing the best I can to—”
“To what? Lie
to us?” Marcus accuses.
“I’m not lying,” I say trying to control my temper.
“You’re keeping something from us.”
“I’m not keeping anything from you,” I bark at him.
He turns to Rio. “What is the color wave of a person who is lying or withholding the truth?”
“Gold” Rio says.
“And what color is Emerson?” he asks.
Rio hates being put on the spot. “She’s reds and browns.”
“Angry and frustrated, I picked up on that. What’s the other color?” he asks. Rio looks at me. He’s sorry for whatever he is about to say.
“Rio, what’s the other color?” Marcus is no longer asking. He’s giving him an order, never once taking his eyes off me.
“Gold,” Rio says reluctantly.
“You will stop wasting my time,” Marcus orders me.
“I don’t owe you anything. You are in charge of them, not me. I will not be bossed around. I’m not your dog. And if you ever speak to me like that again, I won’t help. See how far you get without your only clue.”
His stare is dead cold and unwavering, as is mine. It seems that for the time being, we are at an impasse.
What did I ever see in him? Why was I willing to fall for a guy I didn’t know? Angel or no angel, he’s rude and bossy. How dare he try and tell me what to do. Just because he has wings doesn’t make him Omnis.
Anyway, my father has nothing to do with this whole thing. The clue is about my life. My father has never been a part of my life.
I am on the sofa not paying any attention to Cary Grant or his love interest. I just keep thinking about Marcus and how much I hate him. I mean it.
How does he know I don’t go out? He’s too busy looking for maps and having private talks with Ameana to know what I’ve been up to.
Anyway, I do so go out. I went out just the other day to get a DVD cleaner to clean my DVD player with. What does that say about me? It says that I am a good DVD owner. I take care of my DVD player, and I don’t mistreat it.
I don’t ask it inappropriate questions and then get mad when it won’t answer me. I don’t embarrass my DVD player in front of other DVD players. No, I am good to it, and it is good to me.
Okay, maybe going to buy a DVD cleaner isn’t the height of exciting. But it’s rude and hurtful of him to call me out like that. I went over there to apologize and that’s what I get. Guys. Wings or no wings, they all suck.
I promised myself I would not sit here and sulk. My mom is working another late shift so it’s just me in the house. I don’t know why she’s picking up all these extra shifts. I hope it has nothing to do with my birthday coming up. I don’t want anything fancy. She knows I’m happy with a $20 gift card to Barnes & Noble.
I get on the phone and call Sara. We’ve both been too busy to hang out. I could use a non-angel friend. The phone rings five times and goes to voice mail. I leave a brief message about us maybe going bowling, and ask her to call me back.
I take a quick shower and find something to wear. I’m going out. I don’t care where. I’ll show Mr. ‘Why Are You Alone.’ I’ll hang out and have a great time.
I put on the radio as I do my hair. They’re playing oldies but goodies. I blast it and dance all around the apartment. Then my favorite Bee Gees song, “Staying Alive,” comes on. I shake, rattle and perform with my hair brush mic. My imaginary audience of fifteen thousand is loving it. They shout my name and keep asking me for more. And, well, who am I to say no?
By the time I am done with my hair, I’ve played an imaginary sold-out tour all around the world. Ms. Charlotte has been my opening act. I hold her up and try to get her to take a bow. “C’mon, thank all our fans from all around the world,” I say, as I, too, bow gracefully for the “crowd.”
Someone starts clapping for me, for real. Startled, I turn around quickly. It’s Mr. Dictator himself, Marcus. “Didn’t Omnis teach you to knock? What are you doing here?”
He’s trying to hide his amusement but he’s not doing a very good job.
“I knocked but you were too busy thanking Detroit to hear me.”
I go over to the radio and turn it off. I’m embarrassed but I don’t care all that much. It’s my apartment. Who told him to come anyway?
“What do you want?” I ask.
“Can we sit for a sec?”
“No. I’m on my way out.”
“Where to?” he inquires.
“A place called ‘none of your business’ and then I’ll stop at the ‘stay out of my life’ shop and get you a T-shirt.”
“Clever.”
“What do you want?”
“Miku sent me to ask if you wanted to come to dinner.”
“Do you guys even need to eat?”
“Yes and no. Yes, we eat. And no, we don’t have to.”
“So, why do you?”
“Food is a collector.”
“Should I know what that is?”
“A collector is something that stores detailed memory. It includes sights and sounds as well as smells of our old lives back on earth.”
“So when you eat, you remember the things that happen to you before you died?”
“It’s more than that. Jay’s mom used to make chocolate cake all the time. So now when he eats a piece of chocolate cake, he remembers the time and day he had eaten that same food. In other words, that particular food holds a particular memory.”
“How long do the effects of the collector last? Will Jay spend the whole day recalling the last time he was with his mom eating cake?”
“No, collectors are ephemeral. They do not last. The average time is about three minutes. It’s usually not a good idea to have too many collectors in one day. It screws you up and makes you wish for things you can’t possibly have again.”
“Like what?”
“Family. Every time Jay has a collector, he ends up being really down because he misses being with his family.”
“Why can’t he just go see them?”
“If we were allowed to do that, we would never complete our mission. We’d always be trying to get back to our old lives. So the further away we are from our families, the stronger the memories are. But if Jay were to try and track down his mom, by the time he would’ve gotten close her, he would forget who she is. That’s so that we stay focused on bigger matters.”
“Bigger matters than your family?”
“Yes.”
“Like what?”
“A billion other families.”
“Oh.”
“So, will you be coming to dinner?”
“This invitation isn’t coming from you, it’s from Miku, right?”
“Why?”
“Because, if you asked me, I wouldn’t come.”
“Well, it’s from her. So, you coming?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
He leads the way and I follow him to the house.
When we get there, Miku greets us and takes us to the kitchen. Jay and Rio have laid out an amazing banquet of food. There’s a roast turkey, honey ham, and roast beef. All the dishes are placed on exquisite china. There’s mixed green salad, glazed baby carrots and three kinds of potatoes, in addition to bowls of fruit and various cheeses.
I point to the dishes on the table that are unfamiliar. “What’s that?” I say to no one in particular. Rio answers, “It’s Jay’s show. I’m just here to help set up.”
Jay gladly picks up his cue and starts naming off the dishes that I didn’t recognize. He is bursting with pride as he announces each of them.
“Okay, here we have green apple and celery salad with walnut vinaigrette.”
He walks down to another dish. “This is lemon-roasted green beans with Marcona almonds.”
He gets to the last dish and pauses for dramatic effect. “And the pièce de résistance: corn bread casserole with butternut squash.”
“Jay, everything looks so good. You did all this?”
He speaks but never takes his focus
off of whatever is in the oven. “Baby girl, I got skills you don’t even know about.”
“But whose gonna eat all this?” I ask.
“It’s not all for us,” Miku says. “We hardly eat. Rio and I can’t have collectors, Reese only likes liquid ones, Ameana hates them, and Marcus refuses to even try one.”
“So, that means it’s just you and me,” Jay says, taking a chocolate cake out of the oven.
“You’re gonna eat all this? That’s a lot of memories, Jay. Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I ask, concerned.
“I’ll only try the bread and maybe some cake. I can handle that.”
“I’m not gonna be able to eat all this,” I warn him.
“It’s cool; most of this is going to the shelter down on West Fourth. Every week we make a big meal and help them feed the homeless.”
“You are so sweet,” I say.
“Yeah, you Earth girls like, huh?” he says.
Just then Reese Blinks in and Ameana comes out of her room.
“Okay, everyone take a seat and don’t dirty the table cloth. It’s new and I’m not doing another wash,” Miku says with the authority of a First Guardian.
This is going to be interesting. I put a few things on my plate and watch to see what the others will do. Jay places a piece of warm bread on his plate. He puts it in his mouth and then he disappears. I turn to Marcus, stunned. I didn’t know that having a collector made them literally disappear into their memories.
Marcus, reading my face says, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back.”
I turn my attention to the center of the table where Reese is pouring himself a glass of foggy brownish water.
“Reese, what is that?”
“River water. Jay always gets me some when he’s in the area.”
“And you like it?”
“No, it’s river water. But the memory it collects is a favorite one of mine with me and my sisters. It’s the day our dad took us fishing. I try not to have collectors, but when I do, this is my favorite.” He drank the whole thing down. When the last drop was finished he, like Jay, was gone.
Miku plays with her napkin while Rio watches her. He then takes a piece of fruit from the table and asks her a very odd question.