by Dima Zales
“I’m just a stupid human you have to pretend to be interested in. Get out.” She puts her head down.
I wait to see if she would lift her head back up. She doesn’t. I go towards the door. I’m nearly out of the room when I turn back and speak to her from the doorway.
“You blow on your ice cream before you eat it. When you watch horror movies and the scary parts come up, you close your cat’s eyes along with yours. You have a photo album of the clothes you’d like to wear but don’t think it’s right to ask your mother for. You have a picture you took of me on your cell and don’t think I know about. You look at it the same way you look at the clothes in your album—like you have no right to ask for it.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I want you back.”
“You want to be with me?”
“Yes.”
“What about her?”
“I’m not leaving her.”
She looks confused. I come and sit beside her.
“I don’t understand,” she says.
“Emmy, I want you every day that I exist. I was tired of denying that. I saw how much it was hurting you too. But I made a promise to Ameana. My word is good. It is strong and will not be broken.”
“So, what’s the point, Marcus? What’s the point of any of this?”
“I was gonna ask you to face the world because I love you. And you love me. But how can I ask you to do that when I can’t be with you?”
She looks at me. She has no response. There was nothing she could have said that the two of us didn’t already know. I take her hands. She had started crying. I wipe her tears away with my hand.
“I heard this guy say once that he thought if he said ‘no’ to doing drugs then the fight was over. But it turns out he had to say ‘no’ each and every day. I didn’t get it until I met you. When I first fell for you, I said ‘no’ to it. Then the next day the feeling came back. Now every single day, I have to say ‘no’ to being with you.”
“I try not to think about you….”
“Thinking about you caused me to fly into a wall once.”
She laughs. Even she was surprised to hear it come out of her. She stops abruptly. I knew exactly what the problem was.
“Emmy, Sara won’t be any more gone if you laugh. It’s okay to continue living. That isn’t disrespecting the dead. They just want us to be okay and move on.”
Her eyes fill with tears.
“I didn’t help her.”
“You couldn’t. But now you get to help lots of people.”
“I can’t save the world, Marcus. I’m not strong enough.”
“The thing about saving the world is that it can be hard to care about it. You can’t save the world, you don’t know the world. So you have to focus and narrow it down to the people you do know—your mom, your uncle, your neighbors.”
I hand her a tissue and speak directly to the tiny spark of light that was now in her eyes.
“Look in their faces and understand that they will no longer exist if you don’t do this. Your mom won’t be around for her next birthday. No bowling nights. No book clubs. Nothing. You have to fight for the people that you love. You. Have. To. Fight.”
She blows her nose and throws the tissue in the trash next to her. She gets up. She doesn’t ask for my help. I know she doesn’t need it. She walks over to the mirror and studies herself, then turns to me.
“So, while you were invisible did you ever see me naked?”
I laugh.
“No comment.”
“You suck,” she says as she heads to the bathroom.
I call out to her before she leaves the room.
“Hey, I’m not telling you what I saw, but what I did see was….” I bite my lower lip. She smiles a devilishly sweet and sinful smile. I had never seen a girl pull off both sweet and sinful. That takes skill.
She laughs at the look on my face. She goes into the bathroom, and closes the door.
Through the door I hear the most beautiful sound in the world: she was singing in the shower. It’s off-key and off-tempo, but it’s the best version of “Staying Alive” I’ve ever heard.
11
We have all been summoned by Emerson. Two days have passed and she is back to her old self, for the most part. The loss of her friend did not leave her unchanged. She has an edge to her that she didn’t have before.
“I asked you all here so we could go over some things,” she says like she is addressing a board of investors. Her voice was strong and steady. Whatever it is she wanted, she was certain she would get it. Or at the very least, put up a good fight.
“First, thank you all for helping me get through Sara’s death. I know it set you guys off-track in terms of what you needed to do, and I really appreciate it.”
“No prob. We got you, baby girl,” Jay says.
“I know. But it really was hard and you guys could have like melted my brain or something to get me to talk, but you didn’t, so thank you.”
“We understand loss better than anyone, Emmy,” Reese says simply.
“And on that note, here are my conditions for helping you guys find the Triplex.”
“Conditions?” I say.
“Yeah, some things I need you guys to promise me before we can continue.”
“We?” Rio and Miku say at the same time.
“Yes. My friend was killed by a Pawn sent out by Lucy. My family stands to lose their lives and I will not allow that. So, I am going to do everything I can in order to help you guys save the world.”
“Okay, well let’s—”
She cuts me off. “First, I have three conditions.”
“What are they?” Jay says.
“One, I want to be told everything there is to know about angels and the world you guys live in. I want nothing left out. I should know everything from what kind of angels there are to what a Snap or whatever it’s called is.”
“Okay, that’s something we can do,” I say.
“Good. The next thing is that I want you guys to take me everywhere you go. If you guys are fighting, then I want to be right there helping. No more leaving me in English to diagram sentences while you guys fight for me and my family.”
“No,” I say flatly.
“Why not?”
“You’ll get hurt or worse.”
“You guys can protect me. I’ll be fine.”
“No.”
“Marcus, just hear her out,” Ameana says.
“There is nothing to hear out. I’m not risking her life so that she can have ringside seats to a battle.”
“When you guys have to look after me at my house, you guys are a man or two short. Think about it. If I’m with you then everyone can help. Why should any of you have to babysit me? Wouldn’t you rather I came along and hid somewhere instead of wasting precious manpower watching me at home?”
“She does have a point,” Reese says.
“No, no way. That’s not happening.”
“We could put her in a Holder so that they couldn’t get at her,” Jay suggests.
“No,” I say again.
“What’s a Holder?” she asks. Reese tells her.
“So, it could protect me when you guys are fighting. That’s perfect.”
“There are ways around a Holder. At least for Lucy there is. The answer is no,” I say once again.
“Marcus, I promise I won’t do anything stupid. I’ll just stay inside the bubble thing way off into the corner. I won’t get hurt.”
“No, and that’s final!”
She walks up to me and looks deeply into my eyes. I look into hers and see it—the sadness that had overtaken her. She could just as easily slip back into the void she had just left. A wave of dread washes over me. I realize what I have to do, and don’t like it at all. But it’s the only way to keep her from being pulled under again.
“Please, Marcus,” she begs.
A dull pain sits in my chest as I give in to what she wants.
“
Okay.”
She is so excited, she hugs me and wraps her hands tightly around me. “Thank you,” she says over my shoulder.
“What’s the third condition?” Reese asks after seeing Meana get tense as she watched us hug.
Emmy looks like she is uncertain, but she lets me go, takes a deep breath, and lets it out.
“I learned from Sara’s death that anything can happen. There are no guarantees. So, you should go after what you want.”
“Emmy, no” Rio warns her.
He is reading her wave. Whatever she is radiating is causing Rio to look both agitated and alarmed.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“I didn’t want to do this behind anyone’s back. I mean that would be worse, you know?” she pleads sincerely to the entire room.
“I want Marcus to take me on a date.”
Nobody saw it coming. Before anyone of us could react, Ameana had thrown Emmy against the wall so hard that every painting on the wall fell down. Jay was on Ameana in a flash. He holds her back. We all run to Emmy, who had slid down the wall and onto the floor. She gasps and feels the back of her head with her fingers. When she holds her hand in front of her, there is blood.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“No!” she shoots back.
“Rio?” I call.
“She’s in pain, but she’ll live.”
“Blink her to the ER. Ameana, roof. Now,” I order.
Reese Blinks her out of the room. I dash up to the roof, Ameana right behind me. I am so enraged I wanted to hit something. My jaw clenches. My fists ball up and my wings flap furiously against the night air.
“Do you have any idea what you just did?” I rage.
“She had no right to ask you that.”
“You can’t go around trying to kill humans.”
“But you can go around falling in love with them?”
“Turn around. Now.”
She looks at me coldly and turns away so the back of her head is facing me. At the base of her skull is a thumb print pattern that glowed. It is called a Deck. Once it is pressed, the angel will be stripped of their wings and powers.
Every Angel has a Deck. But each type of angel has their own rules about who could and could not press their Deck. For Guardians, only three beings can strip an angel of her powers— Omnis, the council, and the First Guardian, me.
I put my hand at the center of the Deck. The glow started to fade from it. Ameana flinched. It hurt to be void of any amount of light. She wasn’t in bad pain, but it was enough pain to make her hands shake. I held my thumb there until the light completely went out of her Deck. I look up. Her wings are gone.
I fly to hospital where Reese had Blinked Emmy. She is sitting on the bed with her eyes closed, holding an ice pack to the back of her head. The doctor had gone out to look in on another patient.
“How’s your head?”
“Fine. Your girlfriend throws like a human,” she jokes.
“She could have killed you. That wasn’t very smart.”
“I’m not really known for doing the smart thing. Why should today be any different?”
“Why did ask for me to take you out?”
“Do all angels ask questions they already know the answers to?”
“You’re making this very hard.”
“Making it hard? What, like it didn’t come that way?”
“What’s wrong with you? This is serious. I had to strip Ameana of her powers.”
“She has no more powers?”
“Not until I give them back to her.”
“Wow, I didn’t know you could do that.”
“I never thought I’d have to.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been difficult.”
“You think?” I snap.
“Hey, I didn’t tell her to hit me.”
“You asked me out in front of everyone.”
“So I should have done it in private?”
“You shouldn’t have done it at all.”
“Because you’d say no?”
“Because I’m with someone else. We had this discussion 48 hours ago, remember?”
“Yeah, I think it went something like ‘Hey, I love you. Now get away from me, I’m with Xena, Warrior Angel.’”
“Meana is a good angel.”
“I can tell. There were three or so nails in the wall and she didn’t impale me on any of them. She’s a gem.”
“This is very hard for her.”
“How is it for you?”
I sigh, rub my neck roughly, and look down at the floor.
“I see,” she says.
“You can’t do that again. Ever.”
“Piss off Ameana or ask you out?”
“Both.”
“Don’t I get a chance to convince you to choose me?”
“You couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because nothing you could say could get me to love you more than I already do.”
“If you want me that bad why don’t you fight to have me?” she shouts.
I don’t answer. Angrily, she shakes her head.
“You said that I should fight for people I love. Well, I’m fighting for you,” she roars.
“I can’t be with you.”
“Because of Ameana?”
“Because you will be the end of me.”
“What?” she says, taken aback.
“The Sage is our guide. He has lived on Earth for thousands of years. He says that you will in some way destroy me and make me betray my team.”
“I don’t understand. Why would he say that? You would never betray anyone.”
“I tried to bring that to his attention, but you’ll find he’s a little sure of himself. It can happen when you have never been wrong.”
“Never?”
“Not once.”
“He is this time. You wouldn’t betray anyone, ever.”
“How can you know that?”
“How can you not? You have issues, but none of them is lack of loyalty.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“So, being with me will lead to the end of you?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
“Tell me.”
“I. Don’t. Know.”
“You shouldn’t be around me.”
“Where did you want me to take you had we gone out? I’m guessing Spain, Paris or Florence maybe?”
“To the Park.”
“That’s it? The Park? Nothing more?
“I’d be with you. What more could there be?”
“It’s late. I should take you home.”
“Reese will take me.” I was going to argue but she looks at me and I understand then that she is giving me what I asked for: Ameana. She wasn’t going to fight for me anymore.
“I’ll go get Reese.” I open the door and as I head out.
“Goodnight, Emerson.”
“Goodnight, Marcus.”
I decided to walk home because I didn’t feel like an angel. And I didn’t feel pure or close to Omnis.
When I get home, I find Ameana standing out front. She was wearing a long trendy black jacket and scarf. I walk right past her and up the stairs. Once in the house, I walk past her room and go right to mine. I shut the door.
From the window I can see her standing out front. She turns around and sees me. We stare at each other silently. A few hours ago we leaped across oceans. Now, only a few yards apart, the distance seems too great to cross.
The house was quiet in the morning. Reese and Jay weren’t having their usual banter. Miku and Rio weren’t fighting to ride shotgun in the car. Ameana hadn’t said a word to anyone. I left the house before them. I wasn’t going to give them a chance to ask a bunch of questions. Although I honestly don’t think they would have asked questions. Everyone pretty much let things be.
When I got to school I remembered that this weekend was Triweekend. Triweekend is a three-day celebration comm
emorating the birth of the council. It is the only holiday we have. Both sides are forbidden to attack each other for the next three days. It is supposed to be a time to reflect on the balance of good and evil. It is a time when we should be thanking Omnis for making up the council. Instead, we make it a party weekend. All weekend.
I see Jay and Reese in the hallway and call out to them.
“Hey, what you doing Triweekend?” I ask.
“Me and Reese are trying to figure out a good hiding spot for when Ameana finally loses it and somehow blows us all up,” Jay says.
“Yeah, I’m thinking it might be best to stay out of the house completely until the end of World War III,” Reese adds.
“Forget about that for now. I was thinking we’d play some Runner Ball,” I say.
“Hell yeah! When?” Jay asks.
“Let’s blow off the rest of the day.”
“Emmy has class. We can’t let her grades drop because of us,” Reese says sensibly.
“Alright, as soon as class is over, we’ll go look for a game,” I say.
“I heard the Paras are coming down here this weekend,” Jay says.
“No, way. They’d never come in a six-six-six year,” I say.
“I broke a Splash and they said it might be happening.”
“Since when did you start breaking Splashes?”
“You kidding? Some of the stuff they got in there is hilarious, man,” Jay replies.
“Did you read the one about the angel with the edible wings? That was crazy!” Reese adds.
“None of that stuff is true. You guys know that.”
“Yeah, that’s why it’s fun. You can’t take that stuff seriously. Except for the one article that called me sexy, that’s real talk.”
“Whatever,” Reese says, rolling his eyes.
“Look, we on for after school, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, are the girls coming?” Jay asks.
“Anybody who wants to can come,” I say.
“When are you gonna fix things?” Reese asks.
“Look, man, I did everything I could. I told Emmy I was with Mimi and that I wasn’t going to be with her. What else am I supposed to do? Ameana had no right to do what she did. I had to take her wings away.”
“When are you gonna give them back to her?” Jay wonders.