by Julia Sykes
“Excuse me?” I cut him off. “A mess?”
He raised one dark brow. “Yes. A mess. I had people watching you. Do you want to see the before and after photos? I have some from when you were with Joseph, and several after that. If it makes you feel better, he doesn’t usually look this shitty, either. He’s actually pretty vain, to be honest.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Joseph said, his voice all warmth and sincerity. “You’re beautiful, angel.”
“I didn’t say she wasn’t beautiful. I just said she was a mess after you left.” The words were a little defensive, but Marco didn’t sound at all contrite. If anything, he seemed annoyed with the exchange, as though it was of no consequence.
“So, before you interrupted me,” he speared me with a warning look, “I was telling you what you need to write in your emails. You need to sound genuine, so that’s why you have to write them instead of me making shit up for you. What you say is up to you, but keep it vague. Assure everyone that you’re all right.”
“And where am I supposed to say I’m going to be staying while I’m on this little sabbatical?” Some of my fire was returning now that Joseph wasn’t holding me down, and I made my question as cutting as I dared.
Marco shrugged. “I’m sure your family can afford for you to go on a spa getaway or to some fancy chalet. I honestly don’t care what you come up with. Just make it sound real.”
“You don’t know anything about my family,” I declared, my temper flaring.
“So, you’re saying they can’t afford it?”
“That’s not the point.” My dad had never denied me anything I wanted, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t worked hard to earn my place at Harvard. Not only had I excelled in academics, but I’d put in countless hours with the swim team during high school, and I’d volunteered as a tutor twice a week.
Marco made it sound as though I was some entitled snob who thought money could buy me anything.
“The point is that you convince them,” he said sternly. “Say whatever you need to say, but know that I’m going to read through them all very carefully to make sure you’re not dropping any hints about where you really are.”
“I don’t even know where I really am.” I threw up my hands, exasperated.
“You’re at my family’s estate. You don’t need to know exactly where. All you need to know is that this is where you’ll be staying indefinitely. Now, write.” He pointed at the notepad, the simple gesture sharp with authority.
“And what about tomorrow? What about next week? What do I say when they ask when I’m coming back?”
“You’ll explain that you need time to yourself. Will your parents expect to hear from you every day?”
I cut my eyes away to hide the pain he’d just uncovered, but my hesitation gave him the answer he needed.
“I’ll take that as a no,” he said, cruelly clinical about my estrangement from my family. “I’ll monitor their responses and let you know when you need to send another email.”
I lifted my chin, hurt making me defiant. “And how do you plan to access my email account?”
He fixed me with a level look. “You’re going to give me your username and password.”
I scoffed. “Not happening.” The fact that I was missing was all that gave me hope. Someone would wonder where I was soon. They’d look for me. The police would get involved. They’d find me and keep me safe from my captors and their enemies.
Marco cocked his head at me, considering. After a moment, he gave a short nod in Joseph’s direction. “You deal with her. I’m over this bratty bullshit. Let me know when it’s handled.”
I gaped at his back as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.
Deal with me? Bratty bullshit?
The man was as infuriating as he was intimidating.
I rounded on Joseph, emboldened now that Marco was gone. “How can you let him talk to me like that?” I demanded. “Hell, he’s not even doing me the courtesy of talking to me. He’s talking to you about me while I’m right freaking here. You’re just going to let him treat me this way? You’re just going to let him kidnap me and talk down to me like I’m nothing?”
Joseph’s brows drew together. “He’s not treating you like you’re nothing. That’s just how Marco is. And he only took you to keep you safe. We’ve explained this.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, how magnanimous of you. Instead of warning me and allowing me to go to the police for protection, you’ve chosen to abduct me and hold me against my will.”
“I don’t trust the police to keep you safe,” he said, suddenly fierce. “I don’t trust anyone else to keep you safe. I left you because I thought it was the only way to protect you. If I’d known you were at risk, I never would have let you leave my sight.”
I glowered at him. “Marco was right about one thing. You need to stop pretending to be noble. You’re not my white knight. You’re a criminal, Joseph. You lied to me.” The last came out on a strained whisper as my heart twisted at the words.
Shame colored his cheeks. “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you everything.”
“You didn’t tell me anything,” I accused. “Every time I asked about your family or where you were from, you’d shut me out or change the subject. I trusted you. I told you everything you ever asked about my life. But I don’t know you at all.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know. I was trying to get away from my life. That’s why I was in Cambridge. I wanted to hide out and start over. I wanted to start over with you, Ashlyn. Even though I knew I didn’t deserve that kind of second chance.”
“What did you do in your life that was so terrible?” I flung at him, even though I feared the answer.
His jaw firmed, and he cut his gaze away. “Plenty. And now I’ve ruined your life. That’s the worst crime I could ever commit. All I wanted was for you to be safe and happy.” His eyes snapped back up to mine, hard with determination. “I know I’ve made it impossible for you to be happy, but I’ll keep you safe, no matter what. Now, you’re going to write these emails and give me your login information.”
I pursed my lips. “You’re starting to sound like Marco.”
“Marco is being hard on you because he wants to keep you safe, too. We just want to protect you.”
“He doesn’t even know me. Why would he care about me at all?”
His pale eyes glittered, and I became mesmerized by their crystalline shine. “He cares about you because I care about you.”
My heart ached. Were the words as heavy with meaning as I imagined?
I love you. The unspoken sentiment was still locked in my chest. Did he feel the same way?
Even after everything I’d learned about him in the last hour, I still felt that soul-deep pull toward him.
“I know you can’t forgive me, but at least let me keep you safe. Write the messages. Marco will make sure they get to the right people. It’ll buy us time to figure out what to do next.”
“I…” I swallowed back my refusal. His earnest expression tugged at my heartstrings. He really did want to protect me, like he’d done from the very beginning. Marco had made it clear that he wasn’t going to let me go. If I didn’t really have the option to go to the police for protection, then I had to rely on Joseph.
Marco’s description of what their enemies would do to me had shaken me to my core.
“Hey,” Joseph said gently, calling my attention away from the horrific images that were filling my mind.
His hand covered mine, his thumb stroking my fingers. His sincere aqua gaze pierced my soul. “I’d die before I’d let anyone hurt you,” he swore.
I found myself nodding. He spoke the absolute truth, and I couldn’t hate him when he made such a stark declaration.
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll write the emails.”
He lifted my hand to his lips and brushed a kiss over my knuckles. “Thank you.”
His touch was electric, and even the chaste gesture ma
de my body light up with awareness. Our eyes caught, and he didn’t let go of my hand. He kept his gentle grip on me as he leaned in, closing the distance I’d put between us. My pulse ticked up, and my lips tingled in anticipation of his fierce kiss. Just like it had always been with him, I was completely in his thrall. He didn’t have to pin me down to keep me under his power. I was helpless to fight this irresistible connection between us.
He was close enough that his warm breath teased over my lips. They parted, ready for his tongue to sweep into my mouth, claiming me with deep, domineering strokes. His eyes roved over my face, studying me as though he was trying to memorize my every feature. His obsession was intoxicating, his reverence enthralling.
“Ashlyn.” He almost groaned my name, his husky tone heavy with longing and a hint of wonder. “I thought I’d never see you again,” he murmured.
He reached up and traced the line of my lower lip with his thumb, the touch feather-light and worshipful.
I love you. I bit the words back just before they could roll off my tongue. As much as I ached for his kiss, a new darkness tainted our connection.
Joseph had deceived me. I couldn’t trust him.
I remembered how he’d pinned me down and kissed the tears on my cheeks. Barely any time had passed since then, and the memory of his arousal at my subjugation was still clear in my mind.
Just as he leaned in to capture my lips, I managed to turn my face away.
“Don’t,” I begged softly. I couldn’t bear it if he kissed me. My heart was already in pieces, and I couldn’t take any more. The man I loved had ripped my life away from me. He’d put me in danger, and he’d taken away my choices. I’d been convinced that he was good, but now, I didn’t know him at all.
I heard him take a shuddering breath. He didn’t withdraw immediately. I wondered if he was struggling to hold back the darker part of himself that wanted to hold me down and devour me, to draw out my lust for him until I forgot why I should push him away.
A twisted part of me longed for him to do it, because that would absolve me of any foolishness for falling back into his arms.
Resolutely, I kept my gaze averted from his, denying our connection. Denying him.
A low sound of displeasure left his chest, but he finally moved away. I allowed myself to breathe again, willing my racing pulse to slow to a normal rhythm.
He didn’t say anything to me, but I could feel his eyes on me. I didn’t look at him. Instead, I picked up the notepad and pen and began writing with shaky hands. I made my excuses to my professors first, then Jayme, my best friend and roommate. She was fully aware of how heartbroken I’d been since Joseph left, so I knew she wouldn’t doubt my supposed decision to take time off from school.
I wrote to my father last. There was no point sending an email to my mother. The most I ever got from her were text messages a few times a year, usually filled with falsely cheery emojis. She liked to pretend we had a gal-pal friendship, but that was only to make her feel better. It only left me feeling empty.
Tears began to blur my vision as I made my excuses to my father. All I’d ever wanted was for him to be proud of me, to prove I was worthy of attention and affection. This email would destroy all my hard work. He’d never understand or forgive a rash decision to take time off from college because of heartache over a guy. I could easily imagine the look of disappointment on his face, his bushy gray mustache turning down in a sad frown. It was the same look he’d given me every time I’d failed to be anything less than perfect in my life. I’d told myself he was just pushing me to make me a high achiever, but that didn’t take the hurt away.
By the time I’d scrawled “Love, Ashlyn,” my tears dripped down my face and splattered on the ruled notebook paper. The black ink smudged where they fell, but the message was still legible.
Joseph tugged the notepad out of my hands before I could completely ruin the words I’d written.
“What’s your username?” he prompted gently.
“Abmeyers. My first initials and last name.”
“What’s your middle name?”
He’d never asked me before. There was so much we’d never learned about one another, but he was far more of a mystery than I was.
“Bailey,” I said dully. I felt hollowed-out, exhausted.
“That’s a beautiful name.”
I nodded at the familiar compliment, not really listening. Mentally, I was checking out. Everything that had happened since I’d woken up to find Joseph and Marco looming over me was too much for me to fully process. And the knowledge that my father was going to be disappointed in me rested heavy on my heart.
“And your password?”
“1997unicorn.”
He paused, but I barely noticed. “Thank you.”
I nodded again in rote acknowledgment. My whole situation was becoming surreal, and I sank into the sense of detachment from my emotions. It was so much easier than facing the pain of Joseph’s betrayal.
He reached out to brush the wetness from my cheeks, but I flinched away. I laid down and rolled onto my side, drawing my knees up to my chest in a protective gesture. I didn’t want to look at him. I couldn’t bear to fall into his gorgeous eyes and fall prey to his allure again. My heart couldn’t take it.
He retrieved a blanket from the foot of the bed and tucked it around me.
I closed my eyes, trying to shut him out. “Leave me alone,” I mumbled into the mattress.
He said nothing for a long moment, but I could feel him considering me. Finally, I heard his heavy boots stomping across the room, and the door thumped closed behind him.
I heaved in a breath, and a sob ripped from my chest when I exhaled. I pulled the blanket over my head and cried myself to sleep.
Chapter Five
Joseph
I stormed down the hall, searching for Marco. Since Ashlyn was stashed in his bedroom, I assumed he’d be in his other favorite room in the house: the kitchen.
Her muffled sobs followed me as I raced down the stairs, taking them two at a time in my haste to escape the sound of her pain. I couldn’t do anything to make it go away. She’d made it clear that my presence only made it worse for her.
Impotent fury pounded through my veins, and I knew there was one thing I could channel it into: beating the shit out of Marco. He was the one who’d kidnapped her. He was the one who’d frightened her.
Ashlyn was gentle, fragile. She needed to be handled with care, shielded and protected. And he’d been just as brutally blunt with her as he was with everyone else.
When I raged into the kitchen, Marco turned away from the sandwich he’d been making. He didn’t appear remotely surprised when I swung at him, and he didn’t flinch away. My fist connected squarely with his jaw. Familiar pain cut into my knuckles, but it was nothing. I was used to it.
What I wasn’t used to was punching my best friend. We’d fought in the past—like brothers do—but I’d never felt this burning anger toward him before.
I pulled my next punch, but my other hand fisted in his shirt. I yanked him toward me so I could snarl in his face.
His black eyes stared at me, implacable as ever.
“Do you feel better now?” he asked coolly, not making a move to retaliate or defend himself. “Does punching me make you feel like the good guy here?”
“Fuck you,” I growled. I wasn’t used to cussing at him, either. Not in anger.
He shrugged. “I’ll give you one more shot, if it’ll help you calm down and be reasonable. You’re acting like a pissy teenager. I need you to snap out of that shit and face this like a man.”
I dropped my fist and released him, shoving him away with another curse. It didn’t feel right to hit him, especially not when he wasn’t fighting back.
“You scared her,” I said, my voice still rough with residual anger. “You made her cry.”
“She needed to know the reality of the situation. Would you prefer she hate you for kidnapping her? She has to understand the danger sh
e faces if she’s not with us.”
“I’m not the one who kidnapped her,” I flung back. “You made that decision on your own.”
His dark brows rose to his close-cropped black hair. “And if I’d told you that your father’s enemies were watching her? What would you have done?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I would have gone back to her,” I hedged, unwilling to admit that I would have done anything to keep her safe, including taking her away from Harvard.
Marco crossed his arms over his chest. “You would have done the same thing I did. I made the choice so you didn’t have to. Now, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. She’ll come around and forgive you. I’m the bad guy here, remember?” His lips twisted slightly on the last part, but the expression was gone so quickly, I might have imagined it.
I finally shook my head, my rage draining out of me. “You did what you had to do. You did what I would have done. I didn’t know you had people watching her. If you hadn’t done that… If you hadn’t known and gotten to her in time…” I couldn’t bring myself to vocalize the horrors she might have endured. Because of me.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I never should have touched her. I should have stayed away.”
“Yes, you probably should have. But you shouldn’t have run away from New York in the first place. That was a shitty thing to do, Joseph.”
“I know.” I was surprised he hadn’t punched me for that transgression. I’d left without a word and covered my tracks. I could have been dead, for all Marco knew. I’d left my closest friend in the world hanging on to hope that I’d somehow survived the war brewing within our family. When all along, I’d been playing the part of humble bartender while I pretended Ashlyn’s safe, simple life could be mine, too.
I’d been a complete fucking idiot, deluding myself into thinking that was a remote possibility. I’d never be free from my violent world.