by B. L. Blair
“You knew this day was coming,” she said softly to herself. “It’s time to let go of the fantasy. You can do it.”
Anna knew the words were right but they didn’t work. She would have to work on them. If she couldn’t convince herself that it was time to let Steven go, then how on earth was she supposed to convince him?
#
The sound of the door opening and closing captured Steven’s attention. He looked up from the case he was studying to see Julie standing by the door with a worried look on her face. He laid down his pen and she took a couple of steps into the room.
“Steve,” she said in a troubled voice. “Rachel is here to see you.”
A frown crossed his face. “Rachel Lewis?” At Julie’s nod, the frown deepened. “Why?’
“I don’t know. She won’t tell me. She just said that if you have the time, she would like to speak with you.”
Steven rose from his chair and walked around to the front of his desk and sat on the edge. He looked at Julie and grinned. “Well, I have the time.”
Julie nodded and headed toward the door. “Julie” he called stopping her. He knew what a curious mind Julie had. The suspense had to be killing her. “If I can, I will tell you after she leaves.”
“I know it’s none of my business,” she said sheepishly, “but I am curious.”
She left the office and a few moments later Rachel Lewis walked in. Steven knew Rachel, had known her most of his life but she was a couple years younger than he was. She was closer to Mitch’s age. Rachel was nice enough and Steven knew she was doing a good job at the library. He had spent some time with her in the past year since her return to Holton but mainly because Julie would sometimes include her. What she could possibly need to see him about was a total mystery to Steven but he had to admit, like Julie, he was curious.
“Hi Rachel,” he said rising from the edge of the desk.
“Hi, Steve,” she said softly. “Thanks for seeing me.”
“Sure, no problem. Have a seat.” He walked back around his desk. “Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks.” She took a seat in a chair opposite his desk. Steven sat also.
“So, Rachel, what can I do for you?”
For a minute, she looked confused as if she wasn’t sure really why she was there either. She took a deep breath and then rose from the chair and walked over to the window. Steven was beginning to become alarmed. From everything he knew about Rachel, she was acting totally out of character.
“I’m not sure I should be here,” she finally said.
“Hey, Rachel, if there is something that I can help you with, please know that I will and it will go no further than this office.” Steven didn’t know what Rachel’s problem was but he thought it had to be very serious until suddenly she grinned.
“Sorry, Steve, I’m not handling this very well. Okay,” she took another deep breath. “I am here because of Anna.”
Steven sat straight up in his chair. This wasn’t what he had been expecting at all. “Anna?”
Rachel nodded. “Anna and I have become friends. I really like her and don’t want her to be hurt but something happened a few minutes ago that I think you should know about and I know she won’t tell you.”
Steven rose from the chair and walked over to Rachel. He sat on the wide windowsill and looked at her. He could see that Rachel was torn in two. She and Anna had become friends. Anna had mentioned Rachel several times and Steven knew she genuinely liked the other woman. He didn’t want Rachel to give away any confidences but if she was worried enough to come to him, then Steven wanted to know why.
“Rachel,” he said choosing his words carefully. “I’m in love with Anna and I will do everything in my power to keep her from being hurt.”
Rachel studied him a moment and made her decision. She walked back across the room and then turned back to face him. “I may be blowing this totally out of proportion but here goes. We were having lunch at Mabel’s and just as we were leaving Howard Williams and a couple of his friends walked in.”
Steven automatically stiffened. Howard Williams was not the type of man he wanted anywhere near Anna. Anywhere near any woman for that matter. He was lewd around women and more than one complaint had been filed against him. He was an alcoholic and had been in out of jail several times. Recently, they handled his wife’s divorce case. Nora Williams had come to them a terrified woman saying her husband had beaten her and she had the bruises to prove it. Andrew and Steven had gotten her to a shelter and then filed the divorce papers. They got a restraining order as well. Williams had threatened them both but nothing had ever happened and the final divorce hearing had been several weeks ago. Mrs. Williams was safe in some new town far from Holton. Steven had thought it was the last they would see of Howard Williams. He might have been wrong.
“What happened?” he asked.
“He made some derogatory remark about you dating some colored girl. I would have just blown it off but Anna seemed really shook up. She paled and started shaking. It was so…”
Steven was halfway to the door when Rachel stopped him. “Steve, where are you going?”
“To see Anna,” he said unable to hide his anger.
“No, Steve, you can’t.” He was already at the door when Rachel spoke again. “Steven, stop!”
The absolute command in her voice stopped him in his tracks. He was so surprised that he obeyed without thinking. He turned to look at this quiet, unassuming woman with new eyes.
She walked over to him and pulled him back into the room. She directed him to his chair and he sat down.
“Steve, you can’t go rushing to her aid. You need to give her space.”
“Rachel, you don’t understand. Anna heard remarks like that about her mother when she was growing up and it really bothered her. I have to talk to her.”
“Well, that explains a few things but you can’t go running over there. It would just embarrass and humiliate her.”
“What do you mean?’
“Obviously, this is a sore spot for Anna. She probably doesn’t want you to know. I am willing to bet she doesn’t tell you herself.”
Steven agreed with Rachel. He knew Anna wouldn’t tell him. He sighed, not knowing what to do.
“So, what should I do?” he asked.
“Wait. Wait and see what she does.” Rachel advised. “I’m glad I told you now. I wasn’t sure I should interfere. I know Anna won’t be happy if she finds out we have been talking about her.”
“Don’t worry, Rachel. I won’t tell her.” Steven was grateful for Rachel’s help and didn’t want to jeopardize her friendship with Anna.
Rachel gave him a quick smile and walked to the door. “I know you won’t but be careful, Steve, Anna is very vulnerable.”
“Rachel,” Steven stopped her from opening the door. “Just one question. I won’t tell Anna and I won’t reveal everything but may I tell Julie why you were here? She is dying of curiosity.”
Rachel threw her head back and laughed. For a moment, Steven got a glimpse of the pretty woman under the plain exterior. Rachel grinned at him. She knew Julie almost as well as he did. “Sure, Steve, but you might want to make her work for it. I’m sure you can get a home cooked meal out it if you try hard enough.”
Steven laughed with her and then grew serious. He walked over to the door and opened it. Softly he said, “Thank you, Rachel.”
“You’re welcome,” she said before walking out. Steven saw Julie’s curious face right before he closed the door and wondered if Rachel would even make it back to the library before Julie wormed the story out of her.
Now what was he going to do about Anna? He walked back to his desk and picked up the phone. Dialing her office, Steven hoped his worries were unfounded. She answered on the third ring and there was a trace of tears in her voice. For a moment, Steven had an incredible urge to hit something, preferably Howard Williams’ face.
“Hi, honey,” he said softly careful to keep the anger out of
his voice. “How is your day going?’
“Fine.”
“I’d like to see you. How about dinner at the King’s Court?”
There was a pause and Steven sent Rachel a silent thank you. With clarity of vision, Steven knew Anna was going to try to end their relationship. If Rachel hadn’t spoken to him, he would have been totally unprepared and would not have known how to handle it.
“I don’t think so, Steve,” she said after a minute. “I’m really tired. I think I will just have an early night.”
“Okay, that sounds good. I have to work a little late tonight so when I finish, I will go pick us up some burgers and then you can have an early night. See you about six or six-thirty.” Steven quickly hung up the phone before she could answer and told Julie to hold all his calls. He even turned off his cell phone. If Anna wanted to cancel, she would have to come to him.
He worked steadily all afternoon and finished just before six. He picked up the food and headed to Anna’s. When he arrived, she greeted him with a tight smile. Steven could see the sadness in her eyes and it tugged at his heart. There was a bleakness about her. She was dressed causally in jeans and an over-sized sweatshirt. She looked small and scared and he wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her forever.
They talked of general things while they ate and then Steven sent Anna into the living room while he fixed them some coffee.
“Steven,” Anna said after he handed her a cup and sat down. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“Why?” Steven asked calmly.
She threw him a startled look and then swallowed quickly. He waited for her answer wondering if she would tell him the truth.
“I just don’t want to see you anymore. We don’t belong together.”
Even though he knew why she was saying it, the words still angered him. He rose from the couch and paced, trying to decide what to do. Stopping, he turned to her and raised his hands in surrender.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” she said. Steven could hear the surprise in her voice.
“Sure,” he replied. “If you don’t want to see me, I certainly can’t make you.”
He could see the conflict on her face and she rose from the couch also. “Well, okay…then we won’t see each other anymore.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“If you are not willing to acknowledge that we have something special and fight for it for all you’re worth, then I don’t know what else to say to you.”
The dullness left her eyes and Steven silently rejoiced at the spark of anger he saw there. Anna stomped over to the door. “I think you better leave.”
Steven walked slowly toward her. When he was at her side, he stopped. She reached for the doorknob but he grabbed her hand. Her beautiful brown eyes rose to his face and he leaned forward to kiss her lips. For a moment, they both stood perfectly still then the dam broke and Steven gathered her into his arms. He nibbled at her lips and began to outline her jaw with little biting kisses. She moaned and leaned into him turning her head to allow him assess to her neck.
Heart pounding, Steven bent down and picked her up before carrying her to the couch. He sat down in one fluid movement pulling her closer. His lips returned to hers and Anna’s response grew stronger. Steven turned so that he could lie on the couch and pulled Anna down on top of him. His hands slipped under her shirt and when he discovered that she wasn’t wearing a bra, desire surged through him. Anna began sprinkling kisses across his face. He captured her lips with his as his hands reached up to cup her breasts. He felt her gasp against his mouth and he drank in the sound. Turning to his side so that Anna now lay half under him, Steven deepened the kiss. Her hands tugged at his shirt and the fire spread.
He was about to go up in flames so he tried to slow his racing heart and control his surging body before it was too late to stop. He gently pulled his hands from under her top and brought them up to frame her face. He drew back and then kissed her lightly before resting his forehead on hers. Taking several deep breaths, he willed his body to cool down and then looked at her.
She stared back at him confused but grateful. No matter what the physical cost to him now, he knew he had made the right decision. Anna wasn’t ready for a physical relationship no matter how badly they wanted each other. He took another deep breath and then sat up pulling her with him. They sat there silently for several minutes. Finally, Steven rose from the couch and took the chair opposite her.
“Anna,” he said, “do you really not want to see me anymore?”
Her face flushed a dusty rose and she laughed a little self-consciously. “I suppose if I said yes you wouldn’t believe me.”
Steven laughed, glad to see her spirit had returned. “Well, after what just happened between us, I would find it hard to believe. Do you want to tell me what is going on?”
She studied at him a moment but didn’t say anything at first. He could tell she was fighting an internal war with herself. She shook her head before saying, “Sorry, Steve. I guess I was just running a little scared. Things have been moving pretty quickly with us. I am still adjusting. I met your mother today and got a text from your sister. It just seemed like suddenly our relationship was far more serious than I am ready for.”
Steven thought about what she said and what she didn’t. He decided that his mother and sister were probably contributing factors. Rachel had been right. He wasn’t going to mention Howard Williams unless Anna did. He would let her tell him when she was ready.
“I understand. Just next time something happens, let’s talk about it. Okay?” He walked to the door.
“Okay,” she said following him.
He gave her one quick kiss. “I’ll see you at the party. Do you want me to pick you up?”
“No,” she replied shaking her head. “Julie is going to come by on her way back from the airport with Victoria.”
“Alright,” he reached out to caress her cheek. “Try to get some rest. I’ll see you soon.”
Steven drove home thinking that gone better then he had hoped. Anna was still a little cautious but they had weathered that storm.
Chapter 8
Two days later, Anna found herself sitting on the floor in Steven's living room cutting festive hearts out of red construction paper. She already knew the hearts wouldn't be used but it gave her something to do while she watched Steven argue with his sister.
Anna wasn't sure what she had expected Steven's sister to be like but Victoria Carson wasn't it. It was easy to tell they were related. Put them side-by-side and everyone would say they were brother and sister. They had the same light blond hair, the same sky blue eyes, and same fair complexion just like their mother. Although only of average height, Victoria had Steven's long legs and thin build but that is where the similarities ended. Where Steven's smile was slow and gentle, Victoria's smile dazzled. Where Steven's eyes were calm and serious, Victoria's eyes danced with life and humor. Steven was the one you turned to in a crisis. Victoria was the life of the party.
When Julie had arrived to pick up Anna, Victoria had already been in the car. A quick introduction and an exchange of polite conversation had not prepared Anna for the real Victoria. Once inside Steven's house her natural exuberance emerged. Nick had already arrived with the children and they greet Victoria with enthusiasm and joy. Nick had given her a huge bear hug and lifted her off the ground. Victoria had returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. Anna remembered what Julie had said about Nick's opinion of Victoria and she had to agree Nick treated her differently, with a respect that Steven lacked.
She was dressed in flamboyant colors, a bold red and orange that should not have matched but somehow looked great on her. She quickly organized everyone, passing out jobs and recruiting volunteers. She moved with an amazing speed and never seemed to stop talking. In a matter of minutes, everyone had something to do and was enjoying it. Victoria was still the center of attention and yet made Anna feel like
she was part of the group. Victoria was everything Anna was not and had no desire to be but to Anna she was simply a delight.
"Why not?" Steven demanded. He did tend to treat Victoria as a child in some ways. He questioned every decision she made and tried to change most of them. If Anna hadn't known how very much Steven loved his sister, she might have found his attitude a little odd but she understood. It was the only way Steven knew how to deal with her which was a shame because Anna believed they could have a wonderful relationship if Steven ever realized that his sister was an adult. The oddest part was that Victoria never said a word. To Anna, that seemed out of character. Victoria did not appear to be the type of person to avoid conflict.
"I don't understand why the paper hearts won't work," Steven was saying. "They are pretty and easy."
Anna hid a smile as she listened to Steven. They had been arguing on and off for about an hour. Actually, Steven had been arguing. Victoria simply did what she wanted and ignored him. Steven had protested the bold red tablecloth, saying it was too bright for the other decorations. His sister had put the cloth on the table anyway. He had objected to the writing on the cake. Steven wanted a simple `Happy Anniversary'. Victoria had decorated it with `35 years and going strong'. Now Steven wanted to know why Victoria wouldn't use the paper hearts.
"Because my hearts are more romantic," Victoria stated in a soothing voice. It was her voice that had surprised Anna most of all. The tones were deep and rich and her speech, slow and easy. It was in total contrast to her appearance and personality.
"Romantic?" Steven asked.
"Yes," Victoria replied patiently. "The real thing is always more romantic."
"Maybe so, but Tori, where are we going to get hearts made out of dried rose petals?"
"In Dallas. I ordered them. Phyllis is bringing them."
Anna chuckled at the look on Steven's face and waited for his reaction. He just shook his head before saying, "Okay, sis, what's next?"