by Amy M. Reade
It was obvious that he wasn’t going to let this go until he had a straight answer, so I just blurted it out. “Brenda was high. I didn’t want her mum to see her like that so I sent her to my room to sleep it off.”
“High on what?”
“Cocaine, I think.”
“Where’d she get it?”
“I don’t know. I tried to get her to tell me, but she wouldn’t.”
“Where do you think she got it?”
“If I knew, I’d be the first one to tell you. But I have no idea.”
“All right. Tell me what you think happened in your room.”
“I have no idea. I heard a scream, but I couldn’t go looking for the source of it right away because I was taking care of Sian’s baby. I was upstairs.”
“When did you come down?”
“I finally knocked on Sian’s door and gave the baby to her so I could come down and help. That’s when I went into my room and saw Brenda on the floor.”
“Who might have held a grudge against Brenda?”
“I can’t think of anyone. She kept to herself. She’s a good housekeeper, but she didn’t get involved in household matters.”
“So you don’t know who slashed her neck?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“We’ve been called to this house quite a few times recently. Why do you suppose that’s happening?”
The obvious answer was that people kept getting hurt, or worse, but I didn’t think that was the answer he was looking for. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Why are you still around? It’s my understanding that Annabel’s sons and daughter-in-law own the property now. Do you work for them?”
“In a way. They’ve asked me to do certain things, like pay the bills and do the filing, but I’m not employed by them in the same capacity I was for Annabel. And incidentally, it’s not Sian who owns a third of the property. It’s her infant, André, but since he’s a newborn she will make decisions on his behalf until he gets older.”
The officer seemed to think this interesting.
“You haven’t answered my question, though. Why are you still around?”
“I’ve sent out my CV to some places looking for an estate manager, but I haven’t heard anything yet. At least here I’m still earning a paycheck. I can’t just stop working until the right job comes along.” I was annoyed that he had asked the question, as if blaming me somehow for not finding another job yet.
“Don’t go too far. We may need to talk to you again.”
I left the room to find that the other officer asking questions had taken Rhisiart into the dining room. Sian was next, and the officer who had spoken to me called her.
I went straight to the coach house, where I busied myself cleaning and straightening up. Maisie called once to let me know Brenda was in surgery, but had no other information for me. She hadn’t been told of Brenda’s prognosis.
“Do you want me to come and wait with you?” I asked my friend.
“No, you stay there to see what you can learn,” Maisie answered. “My sister is here with me.” I was relieved to know that Maisie wasn’t alone waiting for Brenda to come out of surgery. Maisie had probably forgotten that I was staying in the coach house because of the danger of staying in the castle, but I didn’t remind her. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t trying to get to the bottom of Brenda’s attack.
After I’d finished talking to Maisie I was obsessively cleaning the coach house when Sylvie called. Before I could stop myself I blurted out what had happened.
“Do you want me to come back?” she asked, her voice filled with worry.
“No, you stay there. I’ll be fine. I just wanted to talk.”
“I never should have come back to Cauld Loch,” she fretted. “Maybe Seamus should stay with you. He’s more protection than I would ever be.”
“No, really. It’s fine. I’m staying in the coach house and I’m perfectly safe over here.”
“All right, if you’re sure…”
I promised to keep her updated and rang off. I had cheese and crackers for dinner that night and went to bed early. It had been an extremely long day.
I was almost asleep when a horrifying thought occurred to me. I didn’t know why I hadn’t realized it sooner.
The person who attacked Brenda probably expected me to be in the bedroom. That attack had been meant for me.
In an instant I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I turned on the light next to the bed and despite that, the edges of my vision started to turn black. I reached for my phone and dialed Sylvie. She answered on the first ring, sounding like she was wide awake.
“That attack was meant for me. I’m sure of it.”
Her voice told me she had expected this. “We didn’t want to say anything. That was the first thing I thought of when I heard the news about Brenda and the first thing Seamus said when I told him. I’m sorry. Maybe we should have said something so we could talk about it rather than having you figure it out for yourself alone and in the dark.”
“That’s all right,” I said miserably. “Poor Brenda. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never forgive myself.”
“You couldn’t have known what would happen,” Sylvie pointed out. “Remember the time back in Edinburgh when I was beaten so badly? That guy thought he was attacking Greer because we look so much alike. But I never once blamed her for it. She couldn’t have known what would happen.” Sylvie referred to an incident back before she and Seamus were married. The two sisters shared a flat in Edinburgh and during the awful time when Greer’s daughter was missing, a man had broken into the flat hoping to scare Greer and attacked Sylvie instead. And though it was a comfort to have Sylvie’s side of the story, I still didn’t know how I would face Brenda or Maisie after this.
Sylvie talked with me until she thought I would be able to fall asleep. Once she rang off, though, I got up and sat in front of the smoldering fire for a short while, thinking about everything that had happened. I had planned to continue working at the castle until I found another job, but was that wise? I had some money saved. Perhaps it was time to leave the castle for good, dip into that fund, and use the money to find a flat and buy necessities while I looked for another job. But that wasn’t the only reason I was staying: I wanted to be there as long as Maisie and Brenda stayed, since I was the only friendly face they saw in the castle. But that would likely change, since Maisie probably wouldn’t want to work in the castle after this experience and Brenda would likely never want to set foot in the castle again.
I would have to talk to Maisie about it before packing up my things and leaving the castle, but I had a feeling that she would be ready to leave. And if that attack had been directed at me, then she would want me to leave, too.
I could hear my mobile phone ringing in my room.
“Hullo?”
There was a muffled sound on the other end and I couldn’t make out a voice. “Who is this?”
A snorting sound, then a deep breath. “It’s Maisie. Brenda just passed,” Maisie said in a choked voice.
I hung up the phone and let out a howl that echoed through the coach house. I was shaking, screaming, weeping into my hands. I heaved choking sobs as I rocked back and forth on the sofa. I couldn’t open my eyes. I wanted to die. I called Sylvie again.
“She’s dead!” I cried when Sylvie answered. “It should have been me,” I moaned over and over. “It’s all my fault she’s dead!”
Sylvie said something, but I couldn’t hear her. I was alone, afraid, and unspeakably grief-stricken. Then everything went black around me and the voice of my cousin faded into a soft nothingness. The last thing I heard was Sylvie saying, almost in slow motion, “Stay with me, Eilidh. Seamus and I are on our way.”
I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but I was still crying when I came
to. I couldn’t stay in the coach house. Its walls were pressing in on me. I needed to get out, to go somewhere, to do something. I didn’t know what I had to do or where I had to go, but I had to get out.
Still in my pyjamas, I grabbed my coat from where it hung on a rack inside the front door and thrust my arms into it.
I wrenched the door open and stepped outside into the whipping wind and the sleet falling from the inky black sky. Slamming the door behind me, I stalked away.
My feet took me to the English garden where Annabel had so loved to go. There were stone benches scattered around, and I sat on the one farthest from the garden gate, not really feeling but somehow aware of the biting cold of the stone. I buried my head in my hands, wishing tears would flow, but they wouldn’t. I had cried them all out back at the coach house.
I sat on the bench for quite a long time, then got up and wandered along the gravel paths that led from one vignette of plantings to another. I knew right where the wolfsbane was, but I didn’t go near it. I had planned on having the wolfsbane cut out of the garden completely after Annabel’s death, but I hadn’t made the arrangements yet. I wondered if I would ever do it or if I would just pack up and leave the castle when morning came. Shivering, I finally made my way to the garden entrance. I was beyond tired and could only think of going to sleep to escape everything. I walked slowly toward the coach house feeling numb and empty. As I approached, though, I heard a noise and in an instant all my senses were on alert.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“It’s Griff,” came the unmistakable voice.
He’s the last person I want to see right now, I thought with a groan.
“Sylvie called me,” he said. “She told me about Brenda. I thought you could use some company.” I walked slowly toward him, not sure whether I really wanted this, but I stood to face him. He stared at me for several moments.
“It’s all my fault,” I said. “She’s dead because of me.”
“Come on, let’s go inside,” Griff said. He followed me into the coach house and we sat down opposite each other by the fireplace. “Why do you think it’s your fault?”
“I told her to lie down in my room because she was high and I didn’t want her mother or anyone else to see her like that. So she did. And now she’s dead. I’m sure that the person who killed her thought it was me in that bed.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’m pretty sure. What are you doing here with me, anyway? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.” In my frame of mind I didn’t feel like being gentle or diplomatic.
“When Sylvie called tonight to tell me about Brenda, she also told me about Rhisiart. She said you went to the pub with him that night because you wanted Maisie and Brenda to be able to go to Annabel’s funeral. Is that true?”
I nodded mutely. Leave it to Sylvie to try to patch things up between Griff and me. I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or furious.
“Why didn’t you just come out and tell me that?”
“I tried, but you weren’t interested in hearing it.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I was jealous and angry.”
“It doesn’t matter now, anyway. I’m done at the castle. I’m leaving, so you and I won’t be seeing each other anymore.”
“I don’t blame you for leaving. You stayed longer than I would have if I had to be stuck inside the castle with that family. Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. Wherever I can find a job.”
“There must be places around here that are hiring.”
“I’ve sent out my CV to several places, but I haven’t heard anything yet.”
“Don’t leave just yet. I mean, I think leaving the castle is a good idea and you should have done it before now, but don’t leave the area. A job is bound to open up for you.”
“I don’t know about that, Griff. I’ll have to give it some thought. I have to go where the jobs are.”
“Just don’t make any rash decisions.”
“I won’t.” Suddenly I was bone-weary. It became too much work to continue talking and all I wanted was to crawl into bed, perhaps with the aid of a sedative so I could stay asleep. “I’m exhausted.”
He didn’t move and I went to my room. I turned around to look at him before I closed my bedroom door behind me. “I’m staying to make sure you’re all right,” he said. “Turn off your phone and sleep well. I’ll text Maisie and tell her to get in touch with me if she needs anything.”
“Thanks. See you later.”
I had almost shut the door when he spoke again. “Wait. Just tell me—am I forgiven for being such a clod about you and Rhisiart?”
I smiled wearily. “Yes. You’re forgiven. But next time make sure you listen if I’m trying to explain something to you.”
“I will, promise.” He smiled.
In addition to being so tired, I was cold and sore. I found a bottle of nighttime pain reliever and took two, hoping I would be able to have a long sleep.
Chapter 19
And it was, indeed, late in the morning when I woke up to the smell of bacon and toast. My first thought was one of despair, but I forced myself out of bed. As much as I didn’t want to get up and face the day, I knew staying in bed to think would drive me mad. I wandered out of my room, rubbing my eyes. Griff was in the living room, drinking a cup of coffee in front of the fireplace.
“How are you doing?” he asked, fixing me with a look of concern.
“I feel better now that I’ve slept, but that doesn’t change what happened last night. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”
“Someday it won’t be as painful as it is now,” he said, standing up and following me into the kitchen. “You can’t go back to the castle, Eilidh. It’s dangerous for you there.”
“I won’t go there except to pack up all my things,” I said. I helped myself to bacon and toast with jam while the water boiled for tea. There was a knock at the door as I was pouring the tea. Griff went to answer it and a moment later Sylvie and Seamus came bundling into the kitchen, each of them carrying a rucksack. I was astonished. I had completely forgotten Sylvie saying she and Seamus were coming.
“You really came?”
“We drove all night to be here with you,” Sylvie said, reaching out to wrap me in a big hug. I had held everything together until she did that, but once my face was buried in her shoulder, I became unglued, crying as though my heart was broken.
Seamus and Griff stood there awkwardly until I disengaged myself from Sylvie’s grasp, then I poured tea for the newcomers and we all stood in the kitchen talking.
“Have you talked to Maisie today?” Sylvie asked.
“No. Griff was going to text her last night to tell her to get in touch with him if she needed anything. And thanks for smoothing things out between us, Sylvie.” I gave her an embarrassed smile, glancing at Griff.
“Yes, thanks for that,” Griff added.
“I was getting right sick of waiting for you to do something about it, and he’s clearly too stubborn to do anything,” she said, smiling at both of us. “Now what’s the plan for today?”
“I have to go see Maisie, then I think I’m going to start packing my things to move out of the castle.”
Seamus offered to drive me over to Maisie’s house, but I wanted to go by myself. I had only been to her house a couple times, but I knew I could remember the way. When I pulled into her drive, I was relieved to see it full of cars. I had been so afraid Maisie would be alone. Working in the castle, it was hard to remember sometimes that she had friends and a life in the village, too.
I knocked on the door and a woman let me in. “How’s Maisie?” I asked. The woman wiped her nose with a handkerchief and pointed toward the back of the house.
“She’s back there. She’s holding up, but this has been a horrible blow to her.”
I made my way through clusters of mourners to the kitchen, where Maisie was at the sink, rinsing a plate.
“Maisie?” I asked tentatively.
She turned around slowly, then her face crumpled when she saw me. She came over to where I was standing and we held each other in a long embrace. The other people in the kitchen seemed to fade away and it felt as if the only two people in the room were Maisie and me.
She sat down at the table and held my hands. I cried like a child; I told her how sorry I was, how I knew the whole thing was my fault, and how much I would miss Brenda. She assured me through her tears that Brenda’s death wasn’t my fault—that the blame lay solely on the person who had committed this violent and horrible act.
She introduced me to the other people in the kitchen, mostly women. They were members of her church, she said. They were all very kind, and they murmured sympathetically when Maisie told everyone that I was the one who had been with Brenda when the paramedics arrived.
Maisie squeezed my hand as other people made their way into the kitchen to pay their respects. It seemed Maisie and Brenda had a lot of friends in the village and I was thankful to count myself in that group. I felt better after talking to Maisie and when I left about an hour later, my foremost thought was thankfulness for Maisie’s friends and family whose presence would be so essential to her in the coming weeks and months.
As my thoughts turned to the things I needed to do once I returned to the coach house, I couldn’t escape the jittery feeling that enveloped me. I knew I needed to go over to the castle to retrieve all my belongings, but I was anxious about going into my room. Would I even be allowed to go in? Would I have to talk to any of the family members? I drove up to the castle and wasn’t surprised to see police cars parked out front. I pulled my car into the parking enclosure. As long as there were police inside, there was no reason for me to be afraid to go into the castle. I could ask about getting my things and maybe one of the officers could wait while I packed everything in suitcases.
But as soon as I set foot in the front hall, I was accosted by noisy confusion. There were at least ten or twelve police officers heading in different directions. Sian was standing in the hallway holding André, who was screaming. Rhisiart and Hugh were arguing with one of the officers about access to the sitting room—Rhisiart and Hugh wanted to go in; the police wanted to keep them out.