by Leah Holt
His words turned my insides, unfurling any doubt that clouded my mind. Kash wasn't just a man, he was the man.
The man that heated my bones, the man that made me question myself, the man who fused the flame in my eyes. He was air, ground, liquid; everything I needed to live.
Painting had been my outlet, my voice. But I was missing the most important part... Someone to share that with. Someone to guide me, to support me, to show me that life doesn't end on a canvas...
It begins.
Running my fingers through his hair, I dragged my nails over the back of his neck, clawing into his back. “You can have that, you can have me. I've been here waiting, not knowing what I was waiting for. When all along it was for you.” Gripping his collar, I tore his shirt over his head.
His rippled muscles were breathing in a ravenous pulse, eagerly holding back and striking out at me all at once. The bulge in his jeans shot out forcefully, slamming into my waist.
I couldn't tear my eyes from his. They were green, gold, silver, washing away any and all fears. He looked into me, not just at my body, not just at the pieces he wanted to tease with his tongue.
He looked into my mind, into my heart, into my soul. Erasing all my resistance, coveting my future and holding it in his hands. He had claimed me on day one, and right in that moment he had shed the label and showed me he was mine.
His arms swept around my back, wrapping me tightly. His biceps curled possessively, forearms tugging me in with primal desire. A low, deep grunt escaped his throat as he lifted me up off the floor, carrying me to my bed.
I had surrendered to him, to myself, to every feeling flowing through my body. His lips placed zealous kisses and delicate bites across my neck. Goosebumps broke across my skin, my thighs clinching to keep him close.
Yes, I'm yours. I've been yours.
You've held every piece of me, and I never want you to let go.
Don't let me go.
The mattress squeaked in place of my voice, the air between us growing hot and thick. Sweat had started to form across his muscles, the small droplets riding the stone mountains down to the small strip of hair escaping his belt line.
I couldn't stop myself, I had to taste him. He looked delicious, edible, taunting my tongue.
In one swift motion, I ran my lips over his stomach, tongue licking his heated core. He was salty, sweet, and I wanted more. Biting his ribs, he drove his hand into my hair, coiling the long strands around his fist.
Giving my hair a quick tug, he smiled as I gasped. “I've wanted to do that for so long.”
The twinge of pain was euphoric, my entire body shivering in pleasure. Kash was on his knees, my legs wrapped securely around his waist. Entangled in my hair, I couldn't lay back, and I didn't want to; I wanted him to pull it again.
“Do that again.” I whispered, my fingers skimmed his ribs, head arching to look up.
“You don't have to tell me twice.” Gripping tighter, he pulled again. This time with a little more force.
On reflex, my neck snapped back, mouth opening to release a long moan. That was the first time anyone had ever gotten a little rough with me.
And I liked it.
Prickles and tingles hit my skin, my lungs struggling to pull in air. A feeling swept my body that I had never experienced.
I didn't grow up in a damn bubble, I'd heard of rough foreplay.
But to have it done to me, to feel the snip of pain and have it shock my lungs and heat my pussy, was amazing. I was dripping, slick and wet, ready for more.
I wasn't sure what I could handle, or if I even wanted him to get more intense with it. But in that moment, I was ready to experiment. Just a little.
Maybe he could spank me, pinch me...
Show me what I'd been missing out on.
His cock was engorged, the thick outline of his crown was clearly visible under his jeans. “Is it crazy that I liked that?”
“Not at all, Princess.” His hand wrapped my hair in another spin, fingertips scraping my roots. “I'll do anything for you. All you have to do is ask.” His teeth came down hard on my collarbone, biting the tender flesh.
A second wave of tingles coated my body, drenching my insides in hot temptation. Dropping my head back, he gripped the dip in my spine, holding me in place. My voice was replaced with a purring moan, ripples hitting every nerve.
“I found your switch.” He chuckled, lowering my trembling body.
“You found something.” The words were barely built, moving off my tongue on pure need. “I'm so wet already.”
Gripping his hidden length, Kash popped the button free. “So you're ready for me, is that what you're saying?” The metal teeth pinged in my ears, turning me rigid.
Biting my lip, I nodded as my knees pressed together, thighs sliding over each other. “Yes, I need you.”
Teasing the trim of his pants, his hips gyrated as he pulled the fabric down. “That's what I've been waiting to hear you say.” Kicking his legs free, he knelt over me in rich blue boxer briefs.
My eyes drifted to the erection standing tall, bouncing beneath the thin material. Every muscle on his body was defined, bright images were etched across his chest, covering his arms, and down his sides.
He was a human painting, full of pictures. Each one detailed and outlined in full color, a mural for my eyes. “You have so much more ink than I thought.”
“I'm about to give you so much more than before. Last time it was out of lust and demand, this time...” His hands reached under my shirt, clenching the hem. “This time it runs deeper.” Peeling my shirt over my head, he tossed it to the floor.
An animalistic moan fell from his lips, eyes flashing and hardening with emotion. His face held firm, head tilting as he pulled my hand to his cock. “This is yours, Willow.” Lifting my hand, he pressed my palm against his skin, raising it to his chest. “And so is this, this is yours.” His lips laid delicate kisses over my fingers.
My heart stopped. It froze, unable to keep beating. Because love needed to be grounded, love needed substance. And we didn't have any of that.
But Kash was so sure of what he felt, he didn't doubt himself. Not like I did. I doubted the love I was able to feel, I doubted what I would be able to let into my heart.
Each stroke of his hand, each word that left his lips; it beat in my ears, it careened into my brain and stayed there. It took place in my thoughts, melting into my veins, charging my muscles.
“I want to give you mine, but I need time.” My hand crept to his face, gently stroking his cheek. “I can promise you I'll give you a chance, if you can promise to give me time.”
“Time is all I have.” Kash leaned in, his lips taking charge of my face. He kissed me with feeling, he kissed me like I was the love he had lost.
He kissed me with lip, with tongue, with body. His fingers tore my shorts off, eyes drifting to the image he cemented on my body. A single finger danced over the picture, followed by his lips.
Kash kissed me all over, every crease, every dip and curve. His hands stretched around my chest, pinching my nipples and rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. They shot out, hardened with readiness to be bit, licked, sucked.
As if he could read my mind, his mouth found my breast, sucking hard, flicking the tip of his tongue over my hardened bead. My back arched off the bed, hips grinding up to rub his cock against my hot center.
If I wasn't ready before, I would have been right then. My panties were drenched, every piece of my body was tender and sensitive to his touch. He needed to be in me, I needed to feel him in my core, feel his hard cock deep inside my pussy.
Grabbing the edge of his briefs, I slid them over his legs. His cock snapped free, thick and ready. The large veins pulsed under his skin, his tip was red and swollen, glistening with pre-cum.
“Please don't make me wait me anymore, I need you now.” Curling my fingers around his shaft, I glided my hand from the head down to his fury base.
Kash moaned a deep,
throaty growl. Throwing his head back, his chest puffed out. “All you'll ever have to do is ask, I'll give you the world.” In one quick snap, he tore my thin thong in half. Dropping the shredded material to the floor, his eyes stayed static on my body.
I couldn't keep still, my muscles rolled, hips lifting up.
Guiding his cock over my pussy, the crown smoothly glided over my wet heat, eagerly pressing forward to my entrance.
Teasing him, I slipped him up and down the center, hitting my sensitive button. Kash let out a ravenous growl, head tipping back. My body was on fire, I felt like even the slightest move could send me over the edge.
Touching the opening, he didn't wait for me to push him in. Kash took control, forcing himself in with one deep thrust. A loud moan hit my lips, eyes rolling into the back of my head.
Dropping his head to my shoulder, he hovered above me on his elbows. Our bodies rocked and swayed, thrust to thrust, chest to chest.
Our breathing had synced up, each inhale and exhale fell in unison, as if our bodies had become one. Sweat dripped over my breasts, riding my curves to the mattress. Kash was breathing heavily, as my pussy eagerly sheathed his cock.
“Mm, Kash, harder, fuck me harder.” I was a live wire, waiting to be set free, waiting to be ignited.
His pace quickened, pump after pump, he thrashed inside me. His balls slapped against my ass as he lifted my hips with his hands. His grunts grew stronger, his body harder. With every thrust, his cock thickened as my walls milked the firm muscle.
I lost myself in that moment, lost myself in him. The world around me faded, hazy and blurry, nothing in that moment mattered except for us.
We became the air we breathed, we were the blood that flowed in our veins, we were meant to find each other.
My thighs began to tremble, lungs straining, nerves firing off bright, light-filled explosions. Fireworks lit behind my lids as I flew over the edge, pleasure took hold, and I shivered from my belly to my toes.
The orgasm came, jolting my nerves, and heating my body in one glorious explosion. And I came, repeatedly my pussy pulsed around his cock. With one final thrust, Kash's body went limp, his cock pulsing deep inside me.
Jerking his hips, he threw his body back. His throbbing cock emerged, glistening in my juice, as he held it firmly around the base. His hands wildly wrapped around my knee, pressing my thighs together.
A deep guttural moan lifted off his lips, cock spurting his milky cream all over my thigh, painting his mark on my flesh.
My hand flew to Kash's head, fingers dragging through his hair as the orgasm settled into pleasure overload. Laying under him, his head nuzzled into my neck, our chests still lifting in repeated breaths.
“Wow, Willow.” His words drifted over my ear, riding my brain.
“Oh my God, Kash. That was incredible.” My eyes flickered behind closed lids, tongue licking my lips to dampen the dried skin.
His body fell to the side, arm snuggling me into his chest. “You felt that, I know that time it didn't go unnoticed.”
“Felt what?” Giggling, I looked up at him under hooded lids. His eyes narrowed playfully, mouth pulling in tight. “Alright, I felt it that time. You got me, I can't ignore it now.” Slipping a single finger over his chest, I traced the thick lines. “Do these mean anything?” I asked.
“My tattoos...” Pausing, he lifted an arm and twisted it in the low light of my apartment. “Yeah, they all do. But my sleeves mean the most to me. It hides who I almost became.”
“What do you mean?”
What does he need to hide about who he is?
Monster... No, there's no way.
And even if he was, he's not now.
That's something I definitely feel.
“Nothing, let's leave that for another day, right now I want to bask in how great I feel.” Rolling to his side, Kash circled a finger over my tummy. “Willow?” He asked, eyes filled with worry.
“Yeah?”
“I have one more thing to ask you.”
What more could there be?
He had just asked for my heart, what else could he want?
“Okay, what's that?” My fingers ran over his forearm, following the strong muscle.
“I don't want you to walk past that old shop anymore.”
“What? Why not?” I asked, arching a brow.
His hand slipped under my neck, turning my face to his. “You need to move forward. If you go by there, then you'll just be living in the past, living in what you could have had. I don't want you to do that anymore. Tonight was all about the future, so don't put yourself through that. You're better than that place, you're amazing.”
I wasn't sure what to say. To hear the words that I was amazing, to hear the truth in his voice that he believed what he was saying... My stomach buckled, folding into itself.
For the first time in my life, I felt the words that someone had said. They didn't come out as just letters, they floated out on a cloud of sincerity.
I knew Kash was right.
The more time I spent thinking about what I lost, the harder it would be for me to keep going.
Tonight wasn't just a new beginning for me.
It was a new beginning for the world ahead, a new beginning for us.
One that I wanted filled with paintings.
One that I wanted complete with Kash.
He asked me to give him a chance to make me fall in love with him. What he didn't know was that he had already done that.
He won my heart the second he touched my skin.
I just needed more time before I could say it out loud.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Willow
The sun beat down across my cheek, bringing life to my sleeping body. Rubbing my eyes, it took me a second to realize who I should find resting next me.
Kash.
Oh crap. That happened, he spent the night.
It wasn't a dream... Was it?
My eyes shot open, blinking rapidly to force my head to clear.
It wasn't a dream. And now he's going to see me with smeared makeup and crusty lips.
Shuttering at the thought, I drove my fingers to my eyes, trying desperately to clean any leftover debris from under my lids. The last thing I wanted was to roll over and let him see the untamed mask of sleep against my face.
I can't scare him away yet.
Black streaks colored the top of my knuckles, small bits of glitter twinkled in my mascara's grave. Lifting my hand carefully and quietly to my hair, I attempted to smooth the craziness of my morning curls.
It didn't matter how I slept; or if I straightened, hair sprayed, and glued the shit down; the curls had a mind of their own during the night. And with the added effect of Kash fisting the roots wildly, I was sure I looked like the bride of Frankenstein.
Feeling semi confident I had done my best to conceal the morning mess, I took in a small excited breath. This was the first time anyone had slept in my bed.
My bed, he had stayed and let me fall asleep in his arms.
Who knew he could be so sweet.
Letting my hand fall behind my back, I swept my fingers over where he should have been. Only I felt nothing but cool sheet and crumpled blanket.
Wait...
Twisting and rolling to my back, I stared at the empty spot beside me. He was gone. But left in his wake was a single rose from the bouquet he brought, and a small note on the pillow.
A delicate smile spread across my face, cheeks flushing with escaped butterflies from my gut, flapping their wings against my skin. Lifting the note, I opened the single fold.
'Willow,
I have a meeting early this morning and you looked too beautiful to wake.
Meet me for lunch, 12:30, at Wilson park.
—Kash'
I felt, for lack of a better word, giddy. My lips danced into a happy, full smile, eyes squeezing shut with excited bliss. For the first time ever, my entire world felt like it had direction, like I finally saw the ligh
t at the end of the tunnel.
The past wasn't my future. And I wasn't going to let my mind try and tunnel back to it, that part of my life was over. A new piece of my future had finally lit up in fresh sun beams, glowing and shining around the man who had changed me.
I felt... Accepted, complimented, full, loved.
I felt loved.
Was this what he meant that night?
Was this what the tattoo was supposed to give me?
But, I was by no means ready to say I loved him in actual air-filled words. There was so much of our lives we still needed to share.
There were questions driving like a freight train over my brain. Where did he grow up? When did he realize art and tattoos were his calling?
Does he have any siblings?
Parents?
What are his tattoos hiding?
Why did he call himself a monster?
So many questions needed answers. You can't fall in love with someone without knowing a little of their history...
Right?
Because no matter how much I kept repeating that over and over in my head, my heart was screaming that none of it was important.
My heart was in charge, it had turned off my brain and decided to take the lead. And I was going to let it.
Why?
Because it felt right.
Right like plants needed the sun, and fish needed water; right like air was needed to survive, and love needed a heart to fuel it.
And Kash was holding mine, clutching it so I wouldn't blow away.
It was nine in the morning, and I had a few hours till our lunch date.
What the hell am I going to do till then?
Scrunching my lips, I stared at the ceiling. There was one thing I needed to do, one last thing I thought would help to close off the past.
Hopping up out of bed, I slipped a pair of runners shorts on, and snagged a rose from the bouquet.
I knew I had told Kash I wouldn't go back to the burned shop. But I wanted one last look, one last chance to say farewell to the dream I almost had.