“But you don’t feel that way now, do you?” he said, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
“No, I really do love you, and if you hadn’t offered to ask Todd to get this information, I never would have asked you. Not after we made love the way we did on Friday.”
“I won’t tell you that I’m not hurt, because I am, but I’m glad you were honest with me. Honesty means a lot.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you, but I wanted you to know.”
“I’ll get over it,” he said, and turned toward me.
I was glad he understood, because I didn’t want to lose him. I knew now that I needed him more than anything else in my life. I was glad that I’d finally found someone who loved me for me and someone who could accept my imperfections.
CHAPTER 23
IT WAS 6:05 on a Tuesday evening, and Lorna and I were sitting in my office taking a break after all the hours we’d put in today. She’d been working down in the training room, binding together some training manuals for a class she was teaching tomorrow, and I was still printing and comparing salary differences. I’d spent the entire day not doing much of anything else, and for the first time in my career, I didn’t feel bad about stealing company time. I’d found even more evidence than what Frank and Todd had gotten for me on Monday, and it was wearing me down emotionally. I’d gone from being disgusted to being angry to feeling sad, because I just didn’t want to believe Jim and Lyle had made the art of discrimination normal policy and procedure. I knew this sort of thing went on throughout the country all the time, because I’d read a number of magazine articles and seen programs about various class action lawsuits, but still I was amazed at what I kept discovering.
I still hadn’t informed Lorna about what I was doing, but I was hoping I’d be able to before the week ended. Now, though, we were discussing her personal dilemma—something I thanked God I wasn’t going through myself.
“So you’re sure this is what you want to do?” I asked, feeling a bit uneasy about her decision.
“An abortion is my only alternative. I can’t take care of another baby, and if I have the baby with the intention of placing it for adoption, I’ll want to keep it. So I really don’t have any other choice.”
“Then I guess that’s what you have to do.”
“You don’t agree, do you?”
“I don’t agree or disagree, because it’s not my place to judge you or any other woman.”
“What would you do if it were you?” she asked.
“I would hope that I would have the baby and keep it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to look down on you for doing just the opposite. This is your life, your body, and I’m still going to be your friend no matter what.”
“I appreciate that so much, Anise. Especially after the way I treated you last week.”
“And I keep telling you to forget that. Everyone has bad days, and every relationship has tension from time to time.”
“I feel like such a failure, and I guess my biggest worry is that the decision to end this pregnancy is going to come back to haunt me someday.”
I didn’t know what to say. Normally I would have told a person to pray for guidance when trying to deal with something like this, but I’d never heard Lorna mention God or church since I met her. I wanted to bring it up, but I didn’t want to sound preachy or like I was the perfect Christian, because I wasn’t.
“I guess you just have to go with what you think is right, and you have to listen to your heart,” I said.
“I don’t know if having an abortion is right or wrong, but I don’t see any other way around it.”
“Maybe you should think about it some more, because yesterday you were pretty sure about getting it done, but maybe there’s a reason you’re sitting here now trying to weigh things out all over again.”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
“If I were you, I’d take some more time to think about it.”
“I’m already three months, so I really need to make a decision now.”
“One more day isn’t going to hurt, so maybe you should sleep on it.”
“I guess,” she said, sighing.
“I think when it’s all said and done, you’ll do the right thing, whatever that is.”
“We’ll see. But I guess I’d better get back over to the training room and finish up these manuals. I need them first thing in the morning.”
“I thought Frank’s secretary handled that?”
“She does, but she was out sick today.”
“Oh.”
“So now I’ll be stuck here for another two hours at least.”
“I’ll be here as long, if not longer.”
“Lot of new responsibilities came with the new job, I see,” she said.
I didn’t bother telling her that I hadn’t done more than thirty minutes of actual work today.
“Yeah, actually quite a few” was as far as I went.
“Let me know when you’re ready to leave. Maybe we can walk out together.”
“That’s a good idea, and if you finish before I do, give me a quick ring and I’ll wind things up.”
“See ya in a little while,” she said, and left.
I tried to imagine what Lorna must be going through, but I couldn’t. I’d never been pregnant, and didn’t have any idea how she was feeling about all of this. So the most I could do was listen and give her as much moral support as possible. But I still wondered for the life of me whose baby she was carrying.
I searched through one of the piles on my desk for my salary history and placed it on top of Kelli’s. In my memo, I’d eventually bring up how unequal salaries were being paid to other women and minorities at the company, too, but my history versus Kelli’s would be the first item discussed. I hadn’t decided how I was going to approach my superiors, but I knew it had to be soon. My plan was to draft the memo, along with a detailed outline, finalize it, and mail copies to Jim, Lyle and Tom, the CEO. Then I would wait until I finally heard from one of them. I had a feeling, though, it wasn’t going to take more than a couple of days once they realized their plot had been cracked wide open. It would clearly be in their best interest to take care of this as soon as possible.
Another hour passed before I realized how strained my eyes felt. I’d been working obsessively for ten hours straight, and I knew it was time to call it a night. So I packed up every document I didn’t want to leave on my desk and lifted the phone to call Lorna’s office. It rang six times before I remembered she was working in the training room.
I slipped on the pumps I’d kicked under my desk a few hours ago, stood and walked down the hallway. The training room entrance was only a few doors down, and it sounded like Lorna was talking to someone inside. I figured it was someone else working late like we were, or one of the shop foremen who worked second shift.
As I got closer to the training room, I wondered why the door was closed. I turned the knob and opened it.
“Please don’t do this. I’m begging you, Jim,” Lorna pleaded with tears pouring down her face.
Jim had his back to me.
“What in the world are you doing?” I yelled at him.
Jim quickly turned around and, when he saw me, hurried to force himself back inside his pants.
I frowned in disbelief. “What is going on?”
“None of your fucking business. This is between Lorna and me, and I’d appreciate it if you’d get the hell out of here!” he ordered while zipping his trousers and buckling his belt.
“No. I’m not going anywhere,” I said, walking toward them. “Lorna, are you okay?”
She began crying again and didn’t respond.
“She’s fine!” Jim exclaimed. “So I suggest you go back to your office or wherever the hell you came from.”
“I’m calling the police.” I turned to walk back out of the room.
“Noooooo, Anise. Don’t! Please don’t!” Lorna screamed.
“Lorna, we have to. This
bastard was sexually assaulting you, so why do you want to let him get away with it?”
“I’m okay,” she said between breaths. “I’m okay.”
“Now are you happy?” Jim asked.
“No. I’m not,” I answered. “Lorna, what’s wrong with you? What are you so afraid of?”
“Please, Anise. Just go.”
“No. I’m not leaving until you walk out of here with me.”
“I’m fine. Really.”
“I don’t believe you’re allowing this, Lorna. I don’t believe you’re going to let this idiot walk all over you like this.”
“Look, you nosy bitch!” Jim yelled. “I’m warning you. Either you get the hell out of here and mind your own damn business, or you can start looking for somewhere else to work. You and your boyfriend Frank.”
“What?” I said, looking directly at Lorna.
“Anise, it’s really best if you go.”
They didn’t have to tell me again. I hightailed it out of there in a hurry. I walked back to my office, picked up my overstuffed briefcase and headed out of the building. I strode hastily to my car and sat inside it. I was so baffled by what I’d just witnessed. I didn’t know whether Lorna had been giving in to Jim’s advances all along, or if she’d even told me the truth about what supposedly happened when he first came to the company. What was more perplexing was that she didn’t want me calling the police. She seemed almost terrified when I suggested it.
I started the ignition, left the parking lot and drove straight to Frank’s, stopping only for red lights. I’d thought about calling Mom on the way, but didn’t want her to hear how upset I was.
I pulled into Frank’s driveway like a madwoman, turned off my SUV, locked it and walked up to his door.
He opened it barely seconds after I rang the doorbell.
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise?”
I went inside without looking at him.
He closed the door and asked, “Are you okay?”
“No. I’m not.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Let’s go in here,” he said, placing his arm around me and leading me into the family room.
We sat down on the sofa, and I breathed deeply.
“Around six or so, Lorna took a break from doing her training manuals and came into my office. We talked for a short while, and then she went back. I worked for maybe another hour, but when my eyes started feeling tired, I decided to go down to the training room to see if she was ready to leave.”
“And?”
“When I walked in, Jim was there with his pants unzipped.”
Frank’s eyes bugged in surprise.
“Yeah, you heard me right. Then he tried to force himself back inside his pants and told me to mind my own business.”
“What was Lorna doing?”
“She was crying, and I heard her begging him to stop when I first came in. But the craziest part about all of this is that she didn’t want me calling the police. When I told her I was going to, she pleaded with me not to. She kept insisting she was okay. Then that bastard Jim had the audacity to call me a bitch and you my boyfriend.”
“Why would he say something like that? He doesn’t even know about us.”
“Apparently he does,” I said.
“I don’t understand how.”
“Please tell me you haven’t told anybody about us.”
“How could you even think anything like that?”
He was irritated by my accusation, and I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t mean to suspect him, but I was so upset I didn’t know what to think or who to trust.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Maybe Lorna told him, but I can’t understand why she’d do something like that.”
“Well, you said she was pissed when she saw us together.”
“I know, but why would she tell Jim if he’s sexually harassing her the way she said he was? It just doesn’t make any sense.”
“Damn,” Frank said, leaning back on the sofa.
I could tell he was worried about his job and the fact that Jim knew about us. He’d claimed he didn’t care whether he lost his job or not, but reality was forcing a different spin on this.
“You’ve got to get that memo sent to him and those other two SOBs he works for tomorrow.”
“But I don’t have it ready yet.”
“Then you’re going to have to work on it all day tomorrow. Because the longer you wait, the more time they’ll have to build some illegitimate case against you and me for something we didn’t do. I heard they framed someone else a few years ago when they wanted to get rid of them.”
I wondered why he hadn’t told me about that before. “Who was it?”
“Some innocent Hispanic guy in accounting whom they didn’t want there.”
“What kind of company do we work for, Frank? It’s almost like we’re twirling through the twilight zone.”
“Believe it or not, they’ve done worse. Jim and Lyle are ruthless, and they learned everything they know from Tom. And when the CEO is dirty, conniving ways are bound to trickle down to other employees.”
“Well, if you think about it, the only way discrimination can truly work is when you have a group of people who feel the same way about it. There’s no way one or two people could get away with doing something so systematic by themselves.”
“Exactly,” he said.
“I’m so tired of all of this.”
“I know, but you’ve got to hang in there until you grab them by the balls and make them pay for what they’ve done to you.”
I closed my eyes and laid my head against Frank’s chest. I felt so out of sorts, and I wanted this whole fiasco to be over with. I wanted to get what Reed Meyers owed me and resign from the company effective immediately.
Frank and I held each other until my nerves finally settled. I really didn’t want to leave, but decided it was best since I didn’t have a change of clothing for work.
I drove in a daze, trying to figure out what could possibly happen next. At home, I didn’t even bother taking a shower but pulled on a nightshirt instead. When I removed the pillows on the bed and pulled back the comforter, I noticed the Caller ID light blinking. I pressed the appropriate button to see who had called and saw Lorna’s number displayed seven consecutive times. She’d called every ten to fifteen minutes, but her last attempt was over thirty minutes ago.
My first thought was to ignore her, but I truly wanted to know what was going on between her and Jim. I knew I was going to be livid if she confessed that she was the one who’d disclosed my relationship with Frank, but I needed some sort of explanation. Anything would do at this point.
I reached for the phone, but before I could pick it up, it rang. Lorna’s name and number displayed on the screen again.
“Hello?”
“Anise, please don’t hang up.”
“Why would I hang up? Because you told Jim about Frank and me?”
“I didn’t. I mean, I knew that he knew about you guys, but I wasn’t the one who told him.”
“Then who did, Lorna?”
“I don’t know. All he said was that someone saw you leaving Frank’s house on Friday.”
“Wait a minute. I’m confused. He told you that, and you didn’t let me know about it?”
“I wanted to, but he threatened me.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that he was still harassing you? What about that?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know that a few months ago, I’d started having an affair with Jim, until I found out about him sleeping with Kelli.”
“But I thought you said you didn’t know if they were messing around or not?”
“I know, and I’m sorry for lying to you.”
“How could you sleep with someone like Jim, Lorna?”
“Because he promised me that he’d get me promoted and get me more money if I did. But then he didn’t.”
“Well, if you’ve been sleeping with him, then why were you begging him to stop what he was doing when I walked in? And why were you crying?”
“Because I didn’t want him forcing his dick down my throat. He was angry because I told him I was never sleeping with him again, and he tried to make me give him oral sex right there in the training room. But I swear, Anise, I didn’t even know he was still in the building.”
“I don’t understand. Because if you didn’t want him doing that to you, why didn’t you want me to call the police?”
“Because I knew I would lose my job, and because he knows that I’m pregnant by him.”
“My God, Lorna. How many lies have you told me?”
“A lot. But you have to understand why I did it,” she said.
“No, I don’t understand anything. I befriended you as soon as I started working at Reed Meyers. Something I rarely do with anyone so quickly. And you’ve done nothing except lie and betray me. First you lied about Kelli and Jim not having an affair, and then you claimed you didn’t know who you were pregnant by. And I can’t believe you knew Jim had someone following us and you didn’t bother telling me about it?”
“I know, Anise, and I’m so, so sorry. I swear I am.”
“So who saw me at Frank’s?”
“I don’t know. I swear to you Jim didn’t tell me. I swear on my daughter’s life.”
“You are such a liar. And you had the nerve to be angry because I didn’t confide in you about my relationship with Frank?”
“I was wrong, and I know it. And I’m so sorry, Anise. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I don’t want to hear it. All I want is for you to stay the hell away from me and to never dial this phone number again.”
“But, Anise, I—” she said, but I slammed the phone down.
I was so enraged. This betrayal was like a bad habit, and I’d had enough. I needed my mother so badly, but I hated calling to disturb her so late. She worried about me all the time, and I didn’t want to upset her when she had to be at work in the morning. I needed someone to talk to, but at the same time I wanted to be alone.
A Taste of Reality Page 24