Chapter Fifteen
The worst day in the Bradfords’ life was coming to an end, as Raul returned to his home. Childhood memories with his little brother were beginning to flood his mind, testing the limits of his spirit. Raul might have been strong, but, deep down; he knew that the loss of his beloved Ray would break him. It had already started to do so. The image of his brother, lying dead in Julia’s arms, would never leave him. It would haunt him for the rest of his days, casting its shadow over every happy moment that would follow from now on.
The Alpha readied himself for the longest, as well as the hardest, night of his life. In a strange twist however, he discovered that he would not go through this alone. Other than Monica, young Helena, Dean, Melissa and their mates, the entire pack and dozens of Paxton civilians had gathered in his front yard. A bitter smile spread across his face, as he laid his eyes on the small crowd. Just when he believed that things could not get any stranger, Martin stepped in front of everybody. A cool breeze blew through his brown, curly hair, as their gazes met. The experienced scout squeezed a tear out of his eye, as he shambled towards his Alpha. Raul bit his lower lip, watching, as Martin quickly closed the distance between them. Before he knew it, his scout threw his arms around him, and held him close. Exhaling hard, he put his own arms around Martin’s shoulders, as he struggled to fight back the tears.
“We’re all sorry for what happened to Ray, boss,” the scout spoke in a trembling voice, as he pushed him back. “We loved the kid. I promise you, we won’t rest until we find the son of a bitch who did this to him. And when we do…”
“I know,” Raul gave a soft nod. “Thank you; your being here means a lot to me.”
“We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Martin heaved a long, heavy sigh. “You turned this pack into a family, boss. We wouldn’t turn our back on the best Alpha we’ve ever had.”
At that, a loud, heartbreaking cry forced Raul’s gaze away from Martin. The familiar, female voice belonged to none other than Julia. She was standing outside Ray’s cabin, sobbing in Melissa’s arms. The Alpha didn’t have time to thank his scout again for his kind words. Pushing him aside, he exploded towards his sister and her friend, as every bystander turned to face them. Feeling the need to soothe his brother’s significant other, he ran as fast as he could. Melissa curled her index finger towards him, laying a tender kiss on the redhead’s forehead.
“Julia…” Raul gasped, stopping right behind her. Even so, she did not move a muscle. So, he reached towards her, and spun her around. Unfortunately for him though, he quickly came to regret his decision. Ray’s mate, his “mess” as he used to call her, was an emotional wreck. A few of her gorgeous curls were flowing down her face. Her eyes remained locked on the ground, as her body trembled violently. Sob after painful sob were leaving her lips, as Raul leaned over her.
“Where is Ray?” She asked, her voice a choked, pain-ridden whisper. “Where is my light?”
“Ray…” Raul croaked, lifting his hand up to his face to rub his cheek. “Ray is in our hearts and minds, Julia. He’ll always be here. He’ll never leave us.”
“What did they do to you, my Ray…?” Julia wondered, tilting her head back, her eyes shut, as the tear that rolled down her face moistened a thin strand of her hair. Letting out a huff of sorrow, Raul took a short step towards her, and then threw his arms around her. Only then did he realize just how much she was shaking. The Alpha even tightened his hold, as if he believed that, by doing so, he could get her to calm down. But, it was hopeless. Resting her head on his chest, Julia burst into loud, wailing sobs, as Raul raised his hand up to the back of her head. He caressed her long curls, at the same time realizing that he would never be the same again. A part of him had died with Ray that very day: a part that contained thousands of precious moments with his youngest brother; a few arguments, but mainly, the massive struggle to raise him, and Melissa, ever since their parents departed this world. Raul was more than a brother to them. He’d had to be their mother and father.
“Alright, get in my cabin everybody,” Dean urged, pushing his way through the crowd, as he strode towards them.
“I got this,” Melissa silently mouthed to Raul, snaking her arms around Julia’s neck from behind. The Alpha loosened his grip around her, trying hard to control his breath, as he unfurled his own arms. Slowly, he turned around, in the hope that the view of Lockhart forest would bring some peace to his battered heart. Gazing out at the towering trees, he recalled Ray’s words on the night he had confessed his interest in Monica to him and Dean. Raul had pointed out that, should he get involved with a human like her, there would be war between him and the pack.
“War between us and the pack,” Ray had corrected him, proving to him his will to give his life for his brother’s happiness.
“My brave boy…” The Alpha thought to himself, dropping his head in his hands. “Always disregarding danger, always brave, always strong. Balls of steel, and a heart of gold, Ray; that’s who you were, kid. That’s who you will always be.”
“Kate called Helena this morning, right after we found Ray,” Dean informed his brother, snapping him out of his thoughts. “She caught the next flight out to New York. Her plane landed at JFK three hours ago. I’m guessing she won’t be too much longer.”
“Thanks, Dean,” Raul sighed, wiping the tears off of his face. “I haven’t seen Kate much. How’s she holding up?”
“She’s still in shock,” Dean replied, nodding at the same time, as he tore his gaze away from him; “as am I.”
“I feel for Julia,” Raul confessed with a soft whisper, his voice softening, as he folded his arms across his chest. “Poor girl loved him a lot. She’s devastated.”
“I keep thinking about how Kate will take it, when she loses her as well.” Dean’s painful reminder sent Raul’s heart spiraling out of control. Helena had put the wolf in Julia, in order to save her life. She had the same, weak heart as them, now. It was only a matter of time before that heart betrayed her. Monica and Kate would lose their dear friend, and additionally, his daughter would lose her godmother before she even had a chance to get to know her. February 25th would not be just remembered as the day of their brother’s death. In essence, it would be the date that their family was effectively destroyed. Even though he could always find a new godmother for his child, Ray would not be returning to the world of the living and Julia could not escape her fate. His brother was gone, and his mate would soon follow him.
“What did we do, Dean?” Raul inquired, his voice choked and devastated with despair, as he pursed his lips.
“Nothing they didn’t choose,” Dean retorted, gazing deeper into his brother’s eyes. It was then that the Alpha discovered just how much their loss had affected his flesh and blood. Red flames were leaping in the whites of Dean’s eyes. Their blue color had been consumed by the fire raging within him. The tears on their edges were not going to put it out. On the contrary, they acted more like gasoline: adding to its ferocity; eating away at his soul. Raul snorted a sob, unable to stand this anymore than he already had. He threw his arms around his brother’s back, and pulled him close in a tight embrace, as Dean let out a long, agonizing sigh.
“I can’t…” Dean sniffled, as a tear toppled over the edge of his eye. “I can’t believe our Ray is gone. He still had so much to do.”
“He’ll always be here.” Raul whispered, as Dean wrapped his arms around his older brother’s shoulders. “He’ll always be amongst us.”
“I, uh…” Dean faltered, as he leaned back. “I’ve got to get inside. I need to handle the arrangements.”
“Go ahead,” Raul encouraged with a nod. “I want to be alone for a moment. I’ll be joining you guys later.”
The wind whistled through the trees, as his brother left his sight. Under any other circumstances, the Alpha would seek the warmth of his cabin. This time, however, he could not even twitch. Instead, Raul’s feet remained bolted to the ground. He welcomed the cold wind gusts on his skin, a
s if he hoped they would somehow rescue him from his gut-wrenching pain.
“How do you come back from something like this?”
Maybe it was too soon for him to pose this question to himself. Perhaps he had to wait a few days. Still, Raul couldn’t help the question from forming in his mind. It came naturally from the situation. He didn’t try to create the query; somehow it grew organically from his hurting heart and grieving soul. Its answer, however, remained an entirely different matter because he didn’t have a clue as to “if” or “when” he would get over this devastation. How does someone keep going, keep living, knowing they will never see their brother again? How could that someone go to work in the morning, when their own flesh and blood will never cross the threshold of their workshop again? Their workshop – the Bradford’s personal playground, the place where they would spend hours every day: sweating; bleeding; cursing at any setbacks; handling weird customers; but also, the space where their bond was forged. It was molded by the adversities they faced together every day. It was that bond – that connection – that held them together when Marianne McIntyre burnt their shop to the ground.
Raul’s mind was drifting further and further, traveling back in time, when a particular scent filled his nostrils. It had been almost six months since he had smelled it outside his home: Cedar tree. Helena… In his sorrow, he had failed to see or hear her cab approaching. She was setting her suitcases down on the ground, as he whipped his head to the right. Speechless, the witch exhaled long and hard, as their gazes met across his yard. But, Helena didn’t need to speak. Raul could easily see the black circles underneath her puffy eyes, as well as the trails of her tears down her cheeks. A single glance told him much more than words could say. Her thin lips began to quiver, as she bent her knees. Maintaining eye contact with him, she fell to the ground, her sob audible over the noise in Dean’s cabin. The Alpha had a good feeling about how this was going to play out. He knew Helena like the back of his hand. By then, she had to be consumed with guilt. He turned to her, and started off towards her, as she lifted her hands up to her face. Her body began to rock, as she burst into tears, forcing him to quicken his strides.
“My poor boy…” she sobbed, as yet another gust of wind tossed her long hair about. “I failed you.”
“No, no, no…” he whispered, dropping to his knees before her. “Don’t. Please, don’t,” he begged, reaching forward to cup her face. Helena spoke no more. She leaned in, as if she had no more strength left in her muscles. Raul pulled her towards him first, before his hands crept around her head. To his relief, she allowed the physical comfort. No more words of guilt left her mouth. At the same time, though, the tears that were leaving her eyes shattered his heart even further. He focused on Helena’s gentle lament for his brother. Raul stayed deaf to everything else, including pack members’ condolences coming from Dean’s cabin. Her display of emotion meant much more to him. She was no fellow wolf. She was family.
Chapter Sixteen
Raul had every reason to believe that Helena’s emotional outburst had been more important than whatever was happening in his brother’s home. She had been like a mother to them. Still, when the two of them entered Dean’s cabin, he realized how wrong he had been. One by one, his fellow shifters embraced him, as well as Helena. The tears in their eyes were undeniable evidence that they were not doing this out of obligation. They wanted to be there. They meant to stand by him and his family in this dark hour. And, incredibly enough, none of them would leave. Soon, they started sharing stories about Ray, some of them all the way back from his childhood. In a matter of minutes, Dean’s cabin was filled with roaring laughter. Raul’s initially reacted with anger to this behavior. He had lost his brother. However, his anger evaporated in the blink of an eye. The stories he was listening to, made him feel Ray’s presence. If anything, they supported one of his most fundamental beliefs: a loved one cannot die as long as you keep his spirit alive. Someone close to you will never leave this world, if you keep remembering them. The pack was doing precisely what he held as a touchstone. How could he even consider complaining to them?
When the last one of his fellow shifters finally left, the exhausted Alpha went back to his cabin. Sadly though, even at 4am, finding peace seemed more like a Herculean feat. Raul could not rest body or mind. Memory upon memory he had with Ray kept his eyes wide open, intensifying his sense of loss, turning his pain into pure torment. Staring up at the ceiling, he recalled the day when they lost their father. He was barely twenty-four; yet, the death of their last remaining parent meant that he had to provide for his siblings. Raul had to mature much more quickly than most people his age. His family’s survival depended on it.
“You and Melissa looked so scared back then, kid,” he thought to himself. “You thought I wasn’t going to be able to carry that weight. But, it all changed, when I promised you that I would be there for you. I’ll never forget that moment, Jr. Up until that point, we were just related by blood. That day, we became family, in every sense of the word.”
As the darkness of the night faded, it occurred to Raul that the worst was not over yet. Shifters’ tradition dictated that the bodies of the dead be cremated. As much as such a sight would devastate him, he had to endure every painful second of it. This was the way of his ancestors. The son of the mountain was not going to be the one to change it. More than that, no priest would perform the ceremony. Just as was the case in mating ceremonies, one of their loved ones was burdened with undertaking the lead of the death ceremony. His siblings had chosen him. Lastly, the deceased was cremated in his or her favorite outdoor place. Ray and Julia’s was Acheron River, as the two of them had quite a few fond memories there.
A frosty breeze tossed a few snowflakes about, as pack members and Paxton residents arrived at the site. Standing just a few feet behind his brother’s coffin, Raul kept his gaze locked on the frozen river to his left. Despite fate’s cruel blow to his family, he had to maintain his cool. Of course, nobody was going to tell him off for collapsing at his brother’s funeral, but the Alpha wished to remain dignified. Should he allow emotion to take control, he doubted whether he could finish the service or not. Two female voices drew his attention, as his siblings gathered around the coffin. Kate and Julia were on the bank across from them, close to Kate’s piano, in the middle of a discussion. Unwilling to eavesdrop on them, Raul brought his gaze up ahead, at the hundreds of people before him.
“My fellow kind, I’d like to thank you all for being here today,” he began, sweeping the area, as he crossed his hands over his stomach. “Normally, I’d start by saying ‘good morning.’ But, there’s nothing good about this morning, or this day, for that matter. No day can be good, when…” he paused, and took a deep, cleansing breath, “…when you have to relinquish the last remnant of your own brother. You all knew Ray. He was one of our town’s favorite sons. Throughout the years, I caught myself envying him more times than I could count. He was a free spirit. He liked to have a good time. Still, he had many qualities that ran deeper than his ‘party animal’ image. Ray was a fighter; a bold fighter who laughed in the face of death. Even as a kid, when I tried to scare him with a story about ghosts, he laughed at me. He knew no fear. Which makes…” he faltered, squeezing his eyes shut, as he struggled to fight back the tears, “…parting with him even harder. I’m going to borrow your favorite quote, little brother.” His baritone turned into a soft, pain-ridden whisper, as his siblings and Julia approached him. “It’s never ‘goodbye,’” Raul uttered, extending both arms to place them around Dean and Melissa’s shoulders. “We will see each other again.”
As he finished speaking, he nodded to Martin. His scout struck a match, and tossed it into the pyre, upon which the coffin laid, as the Alpha surrendered himself to his agonizing pain. Two tears streamed down his face, as the fire encircled his brother’s coffin. Just then, a sweet, yet sad, piano introduction ripped through the air. Raul stole a glance down at Kate, feeling chills rippling across his skin,
as her delicate fingers danced on the keys. The melodious lyrics that came out of her mouth sounded very familiar indeed. She was playing Ray’s favorite song, Wiz Khalifa’s “See you again.”
“It’s been a long day
Without you my friend
And I’ll tell you all about it
When I see you again
We’ve come a long way
From where we began
Oh, I’ll tell you all about it
When I see you again”
Julia put her head on Melissa’s shoulder, her face contorting into an expression of sorrow and disbelief, as Kate’s passionate voice resounded through the wilderness. A slow, hesitant applause joined the music, causing Raul’s lips to burst into a bitter smile. It was if his kind was acknowledging that his brother had given the performance of a lifetime, and they were trying to show their appreciation by escorting him to the afterlife with a warm, round of applause.
“Fly my angel…” Julia whispered, as a tear reached the seam of her lips. “Fly away from here.”
Taking a few glances around him, Raul chose to keep his mouth shut. Fellow pack members and Paxton civilians were hugging one another. Perhaps Ray was meant to leave this world, so that such boundaries could be overcome. There was no animosity between them, but there was no love lost, either. Maybe this scene of camaraderie was his legacy. Maybe he had to die, so that they could all unite against the threats that were yet to come.
Chapter Seventeen
That same night, Raul had a sense of déjà vu. Once more, hundreds of people swarmed into the Bradford property to support him and his family. As much as he appreciated their attitude however, the Alpha sought solitude. He needed some time alone with his thoughts, and, more importantly, he was in need of some personal space. He wouldn’t ask anybody to leave. Instead, Raul grabbed the keys to the workshop from the kitchen, and then slipped through the crowd.
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