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Was. Until now. She must have made some sound, because his eyes changed. She whispered, Then why are you asking me to stay? You don't have to. Every word hurt as it passed her throat.
She saw his fingers curl in on themselves. He said harshly, When that anchor was coming at me, I knew it was the end. A man doesn't lose in a battle with seven tons of steel and survive it. I jumped for the crash rail, trying to get behind it, and I knew I wasn't fast enough. And the only thing I could think of was you.
She said, I love you, but the words would not come out.
I wanted to hold you in my arms, to go to sleep feeling you warm against me. I wanted to see you when I woke up in the morning. His eyes closed and his voice deepened. I wanted to see our child, to hold it, to watch you holding the baby we made.
She moved then and her hand found his chest. She could feel his heart hammering against her palm. He said, When we made love, I thought you were too dangerous, that I couldn't afford to feel what I was feeling for you, but I couldn't seem to keep away from you. I had to phone you from the rig, and when you didn't answer-
I love you. It was only a whisper, but this time she managed to get the words out although he did not seem to hear.
His chest was hard, the muscles rigid under her hand. When you came here, the first time, I was just beginning to admit to myself that I needed more than one night with you. I wanted you closer, sharing ... the whole idea terrified me, but I couldn't seem to push you away in my mind. Upstairs, that morning, when I asked you to stay for a holiday-I was really starting to ask you to move in, to live with me, but I got scared. I'd never had a relationship that mattered this much, not with any woman, wasn't sure I could do it, not with the load of hang-ups I'd carried out of my childhood.
She told him, I wanted to say yes. For a holiday, or forever; but I had to tell you about the baby first. She felt the shudder go through his chest. Scott, I wasn't trying to trap you. I-we can take time. We can-
His hands possessed her arms, his fingers digging in. I know I was terrible ... brutal to you when you told me you were pregnant, I ... I don't know if-can you understand, Melody? I just couldn't cope with it. You were putting all these images in my mind, loving and families and babies, and they were the kinds of dreams I just couldn't believe in, I'd never-I wanted ... wanted it all so much it terrified me, so much that I-
She slid her arms up, around his neck. He was so tight, so tense. She wanted to tell him that it was all right, but did not know how to reassure him.
His hands moved to her back, bringing her close against him. There's never been anybody that mattered in my life who didn't disappear on me-either by dying or by kicking me out.
So you had to push me away? In a crazy way, she understood.
He nodded, staring down at her bleakly. When you told me-at first I couldn't believe it. I hadn't even considered it might happen. You ... and a child ... and love. All in my reach. It would have been heaven, except I knew I was afraid to try. Afraid I'd blow it, I guess. He shook his head, admitted, I'm scared witless, even now. I want you. I want our baby. But I don't know if I can love either of you, or both of you, the way you deserve. I'm not sure I know how.
I love you. He heard her this time. Her voice was strong and her arms were tight around his neck.
I need you loving me. He groaned, Melody, without you at my side, my world is all black and white. There's no color.
He was still frowning and she covered his lips with hers. If I can't love you, I'll never be able to write another song, another poem.
Oh, God! He shuddered, then his lips possessed hers, hard, and his arms held her close and tenderly. I dreamed of you loving me. What did I do to deserve you?
He had loved her. She did not say the words because he was not ready, but she knew that words were unnecessary. His arms were holding her, his eyes loving her. She shivered and felt his body respond, and knew that she was home.
She whispered, All my life, I wanted a home that was really mine. Moving around all the time, and the crazy scene that was the music world. I tried to pretend I was at home when I went to Queen Charlotte, but- She swallowed and said raggedly, When you came to my door, that was the first time I believed there was something more to loving than the fantasies I spun in my music room.
His hands slid under the loose cotton of her blouse, fingers shaping the satiny flesh underneath. She was losing the slender curves that he had once made love to, but his touch was trembling and his voice intense as he murmured, I want to pick you up and carry you into my bedroom.
He felt her body's response to his suggestion and laughed huskily. She warned, You'd better not. The doctor would have my head. His lips possessed hers and she managed only to gasp, What about lunch.
Loving first, he growled, and something seemed to catch in his throat.
She pressed her lips against his throat and said softly, You don't need to say it.
He silenced her with a kiss.
She had thought her body would be awkward, but his touch was magic and when she trembled, she could see his eyes flash in response. Then he took her hand, and they were in his room, moving to the big bed. He lay down with her, touched her, and it was more than it had been before, deeper and more shattering, filled with a long tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.
Don't cry, he said, holding her, slowly exploring her lovely softness with his fingertips. Please don't cry.
She moved closer, into his arms, her flesh merging with his, telling him without words that the tears were for feeling, for fullness. For love, not sadness.
I love you, he said, and the world went still.
Was it hard to say?
I've loved you for so long. He bent over her. The words have been inside, trying to get out.
I've watched you with Robbie, she whispered. You're going to make a wonderful father.
If you're there to help me. You will be, won't you? You're going to marry me? She saw his face go harsh and cold, but she understood now that it was only a mask.
Yes. She returned his kiss, giving herself up to her lover. I love you ... I've always loved you. Forever. She would tell him so, often, make sure he did not ever forget.
Then he touched her intimately and she gasped and moved closer, returning his caress. He groaned and moved over her and there were no more barriers. They were together, beyond walls or restraints, pleasuring each other almost beyond bearing. She held him close when she felt the powerful build-up to his release, felt the answering pressure inside herself, heard her voice making formless sounds of needing and loving.
He groaned her name, and his love, as he took them both beyond the stars. Then he held her in his arms, closely against his heart, and when their pulses quieted, they slept. Together.
Outside, on the water, the loon bobbed up from the glassy bay, craned his long neck and looked towards the silent house. Overhead, an eagle swooped down from a cloudless sky. In the kitchen, the can opener lay open on the floor, forgotten.
Biography
VANESSA GRANT is the author of 30 romantic women’s fiction novels, and the critically acclaimed how-to book, Writing Romance. Her books have been translated into 15 languages and she has over 10 million books in print. Her West Coast North American settings are popular with readers worldwide. Vanessa lives in Canada with her husband and divides her time between writing and teaching.
Books by Vanessa Grant
Pacific Disturbance
Storm
Shadows
The Chauvinist
Jenny’s Turn
Stray Lady
Stranded Heart
Takeover Man
Awakening Dreams
Wild Passage
Taking Chances
One Secret Too Many
So Much for Dreams
The Touch of Love
Angela’s Affair
With Strings Attached
When Love Returns
Hidden Memories
Nothing Less Tha
n Love
After All This Time
Catalina’s Lover
Dance of Seduction
Strangers by Day
Yesterday’s Vows
The Moon Lady’s Lover
If You Loved Me
The Colors of Love
Seeing Stars
Think About Love
Wind Shift
Visit www.musecreations.com for eBooks by Vanessa Grant
eBook Info
Identifier:0-9684958-3-4
Title:The Touch of Love
Creator:Vanessa Grant
Date:12/27/2002
Copyrights:Copyright 1990, Vanessa Grant. Copyright 1999, Muse Creations Inc. Original hardcover edition published in 1990 by Mills Boon Limited
Publisher:MobiPocket.com
Subject:Romance
Language:en
Keyword:romance; sailing; Canada; Port Townsend
Price:4.99
Currency:USD