“She’s quieter, more introspective, even around all of you. She sort of sits back and watches, rather than entering the fray. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I do. She changed after her first year of college, but we all just thought—”
“What did you think?”
“We thought it was because she really missed you.”
Had the decision to leave him been much more difficult than he’d imagined? She’d never looked back. She’d been too busy to take his call when he tried to reach her at school. In fact, he could remember the conversation even today. Three months into his father’s rehabilitation, he’d been worn-out and overwhelmed. Gina had been the one person who could understand that. He’d thought—hoped—that she might have changed her mind…that they could work out some way to stay connected…to eventually be together.
“Logan, I can’t talk right now,” she told him. “I have a class and a test.”
“Can we talk later? Just because you’re in Connecticut doesn’t mean we can’t keep in touch.”
She paused for a long few moments. “You and I both know a long-distance relationship won’t work. And, Logan, I can’t see me ever coming back to Sagebrush. Not for more than a visit. So I don’t think there’s any point…to talking.”
Had her voice caught? Did she wish she hadn’t chosen the path she was on?
It had taken him three months to set aside his anger and his pride and call her. But during that painful conversation, his pride had reared its head again. Her life had been going on, his would, too. Next semester if his dad continued to make progress in his recovery, he’d be working on his MBA. There had been more than one woman who’d shown an interest in him. Gina had chosen her path and her rejection had only made him more sure of his.
Or so he’d thought—
“You could become friends again,” Angie said, intervening in the past, as if she was hopeful about the future.
The sensation of Gina’s body on top of his, his fingertips on her skin, the fresh scent of her hair, taunted him. “We could. But I don’t know if we will,” he commented and slipped Daniel back into his stroller.
After a nod to Angie, he pushed his little boy over to the bench where he would wait until his turn at bat.
Chapter Six
“So tell me, Logan,” Gina’s mother said. “What does it feel like to be CEO of your father’s company?”
Gina looked at her parents, who were sitting next to each other across the picnic table from her. Daniel was happily kicking his legs in a high chair at the end of the table. He grinned at them as he poked little round cereal Os into his mouth.
Gina wished she felt like grinning. What was her mother up to?
Suddenly conscious of Logan beside her, his elbow lodged next to hers now and then, she wasn’t sure inviting him here today had been a good idea. He and Daniel seemed to be having fun but her stomach was tied up in knots and she wasn’t even sure why.
Logan didn’t seem to be bothered by her mother’s question. “It’s an honor to run an enterprise he built from scratch.”
“I heard you’re running it better than he ever did,” Angie said, looking Logan in the eye.
Logan just shrugged. “New styles for denim as well as advancing technologies have made it easier for me to expand markets. I see change as opportunity.”
“That’s a good way to look at it,” Gina’s mother decided. “I hope Gina sees her return to Sagebrush as a new opportunity. I don’t want to believe she did it just for us.”
Feeling Logan’s gaze on her, Gina shrugged. “Everyone’s life needs a change at some point. Now seemed to be a good time.” She stood and picked up the empty dessert plates. They’d all eaten every bit of her mother’s homemade pies.
At the next table, her brother, John, called, “Hey, Gina. If you want to clean up our table, too, I’ll leave you a tip.”
She wrinkled her nose at her brother. “Be careful. The next time you want me to babysit, I might not wash off their sticky fingers before they point to their favorite characters on your new fifty-two-inch TV.”
Everyone laughed, but Gina still felt the heat of Logan’s gaze. That made her excited and nervous all at the same time. She dumped the plates into the trash can and heard her mother say, “Gina waited tables when she was in college for extra money. I think she was even a short-order cook at one point, weren’t you, honey?”
“I was,” she answered, turning from the trash can with a bright smile. “Eggs overeasy, burgers medium well. They were my specialty.”
“She suddenly decided she didn’t like waitressing, that she’d rather be back in the kitchen. I didn’t get that because as a cook, she didn’t get tips,” her brother explained.
“I worked more hours that way because nobody else wanted to do the short order.”
Logan suddenly stood and climbed out from the picnic bench. Approaching his son, he unfastened the tray from his high chair.
Angie asked, “You’re not leaving, are you?”
Gina wondered what that was all about. She told her sister, “Daniel has a regular routine at bedtime. Logan probably doesn’t want to disrupt that.”
Logan’s eyes settled on her once more and she felt hot from head to toe, even though the day had simply been pleasantly warm.
“Gina’s right. In a little while, he’ll be good and cranky. I find I can get him to sleep easier if I do it on his timetable.”
“The world revolves around our children,” Gina’s mom said, nodding. “Most men don’t get that.”
“I had to get it,” Logan said seriously.
Gina’s mother stood now, too, and went to Logan and Daniel. “I just want to tell you how glad we are you could come today.”
“Yes, we are,” Angie said quickly. “You’ll have to come to one of our family dinners. Mom makes the best ravioli.”
Gina didn’t understand what her sister was doing. Why was she pushing Logan’s continued connection to her family? Gina had to have a talk with her and soon. There were times when Gina had wanted to start a serious conversation with her sister, but Angie always found an excuse not to. They were both busy women. Angie didn’t always work the same shift. She was also signed up for the hospital’s disaster relief team and flew out unexpectedly when they were needed. Besides Angie’s commitments, Gina often stayed late at Baby Grows. That didn’t make getting together easy.
“Maybe sometime,” Logan answered diplomatically, already gathering Daniel from his chair.
“Would you like me to take him while you pack up?” Gina asked.
Already leaning toward her, Daniel wanted her to hold him. But she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.
“That would be a help,” Logan said. “Before I round up his diaper bag, toys, food and chair, not to mention his stroller, he could be asleep.”
Gina laughed.
Suddenly Logan leaned close to her and murmured near her ear, “If you want to stay with your family, I’m sure one of them will take you home. You don’t have to leave now.”
Logan had insisted on picking her up this afternoon and she didn’t know now if he was offering simply because he thought she might want to stay, or because he didn’t want to be in close quarters with her again. He hadn’t indicated at all how he felt about being around her.
What about that kiss?
That kiss had been on her mind way too much. But she couldn’t help wondering if Logan thought about it, too.
“I’m ready if you are. I have an early appointment in the morning,” she assured him.
Her mother heard that. “Do you? I was hoping you’d come back to the house for a while.”
“Not tonight, Mom. I promise, I’ll come visit soon.”
While Logan loaded up his vehicle, she and Daniel made the rounds of her family, giving hugs and saying goodbye. Angie, her sister-in-law, Kristi, and her older sister, Josie, were standing together so she really couldn’t ask her younger sister why she’d almost invited Logan to dinner. But sh
e’d find out. After she gave Angie a squeeze, her sister hugged her back.
Angie readjusted one of the shoulder straps on Daniel’s overalls. “You are one of the cutest little boys I’ve ever seen.”
Daniel laid his head on Gina’s shoulder, cuddling in close to her neck.
“He’s getting attached to you,” Angie said.
“No, he’s just a friendly little guy. He’d cuddle with anyone like this.”
Angie adamantly shook her head. “I doubt that. You know—” she lowered her voice “—he could probably use a mom.”
Gina didn’t have a chance to respond as Logan returned from his trek to the Range Rover and held out his hands to his son. Daniel didn’t fuss but went to his dad, poking his thumb into his mouth, closing his eyes as he laid his head on his dad’s shoulder.
“Aha,” Logan said. “I thought so. Fresh air and sun will do it every time.”
After a final round of goodbyes, he and Gina started down the path to the parking lot.
Gina was still thinking about Angie’s last remark, and what might have caused her to voice it.
“Are you tired?” Logan asked her.
“Not really.” Then she added, “It was fun just to be outside and get some real exercise.”
“As opposed to…”
“As opposed to the treadmill Francesca left behind. I’m beginning to hate that thing, even though it’s great to have when I’m up too early to walk outside or I return home late at night. I thought about joining that new gym in town, but I don’t know when I’d find time to go.”
They walked in silence in the growing dusk until they reached the Range Rover. Gina helped buckle in Daniel and took her place in the passenger seat.
After Logan climbed inside, he started the ignition. “Your family made me feel welcome today. I wasn’t exactly sure what would happen.”
“My mother wouldn’t have invited you if she didn’t want you there. I think today was meant to make up in part for their attitude toward you.”
“I suppose.”
Logan put his hand on the gearshift and Gina thought they’d back out of the parking place and be on their way. But he didn’t put the vehicle into Reverse; rather he glanced to the backseat and saw that Daniel’s eyes were closed already.
He shifted as well as he could with his seat belt on and faced her. “You’re different than you were when you were eighteen.”
“Aren’t we all?” she joked, hoping to deflect his perceptive observation.
“Something’s different, Gina, that I can’t put my finger on. I knew you well, very well. You were irrepressible, joy-filled, ready for any new adventure. Now—”
“Now I’m mature, and I like my world a little more organized.”
He shook his head. “No. The old Gina comes out with kids. You played tag, you told jokes, you even swung Daniel on the swing like that girl of eighteen. But the rest of the time, you’re quieter, more…withdrawn. So I guess I’m asking, what had the greatest impact on who you are today?”
“It must have been that short-order cooking,” she teased.
“Gina.”
The gentle expression in his voice was hard to miss. But did she really want to tell him what had happened, here with his son sleeping in the backseat? She really believed what she’d told him early on when working with Daniel—children were little sponges, no matter what the age. She didn’t want to go into something as serious as date rape with Daniel around.
She took a deep breath. “When I was in college, something happened to change the way I looked at the world.”
“Something, or someone?”
“A mixture of the two, but I don’t talk about it. There’s no point. I’m sure there are things that happened that gave you your view of life today. You said you see change as opportunity. Your father didn’t. I remember how he fought against bringing in the newest types of machinery. He liked the old ways of doing things.”
“I swore I’d never be like him.”
“I’m sure his stroke and passing affected you.”
“They did. I was pressed into responsibility in a way I’d never experienced after his stroke. We became closer than I ever thought we could. But we weren’t talking about me, and I’m not so self-absorbed that I didn’t notice you changed the subject.”
“You have to get home and put Daniel to bed.”
He looked frustrated but then gave her a wry smile. “You know how to escape a sticky conversation.”
“I do my best.”
He put his hand on the gearshift again and shifted into Reverse. “We’ll have to finish this soon.”
He wasn’t going to let it drop, and she supposed she didn’t want him to. The time would be right soon.
And then what?
That was the problem. The traumatic event in her life had nothing to do with them and with what Logan felt about her. She had to regain his trust if she wanted even friendship between them. But even then, could she tell him about the threat his father had made? How could she ruin Logan’s image of his dad? Somehow she had to rebuild her relationship with Logan without hurting him. But she knew regaining trust would be as difficult as rewriting history.
Gina’s emotions had held a tug-of-war with her logic since the picnic. Maybe she should have told Logan about the rape. On the other hand, was he ready to hear? After she told him, she couldn’t take it back. After she told him, he’d look at her differently.
On Monday evening Gina decided to tell Logan the truth—about everything. She had an excuse for stopping by. She’d brought lists of requirements for staff for the day-care center and catalogs for furnishings. But as she pulled into the circular driveway in front of the house, she noticed the black stretch limousine.
Logan had company…apparently important company. She pulled up behind the limo, thought about her timing then switched on the ignition again ready to pull away.
However, before she could, Logan came to the door. Seeing her, he beckoned her inside.
She would simply hand him the information. The rest would have to wait.
Parking quickly, she ran up the walk and handed him the manila envelope. “Just some catalogs with things I thought you might need for the day-care center. You’ll have an idea of cost estimates when you go through them. Staffing requirements, too.”
Logan was dressed in a Western-cut suit, white shirt and bolo tie and looked as if he’d stepped out of the pages of Country Gentlemen magazine. In her jeans and sandals she felt as she had fourteen years ago on the evening his father had told her he would never let his son marry a nobody.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your evening. I wasn’t thinking. I should have called.”
He took the envelope from her. “You’re not interrupting, believe me. I’m just having dinner with an oil man and his wife who are interested in donating to the foundation.”
“Foundation?”
“After Amy died, I set up a foundation for donations to help with research for women who are pregnant and have cancer. That seemed to be one of the most positive things I could do to try to get over feeling powerless.”
Logan admitting to that feeling surprised her. Maybe she really didn’t know him. Maybe she hadn’t known him all those years ago, but had just been caught up in romantic dreams, without the maturity to realize what was real and what wasn’t.
“That’s a wonderful cause. I wish you luck tonight. What will it take for your guests to write a huge check?”
“Lots of conversation, martinis and a look at my horses. Chad’s thinking about purchasing a couple of new ones and would like some tips.”
“You should do okay then.”
After a long moment, when they couldn’t seem to look away from each other, Logan broke into a smile. “Why don’t you stay and have dinner with us? I’m sure Chad’s wife would like to talk about something other than baseball scores and the price of crude.”
But Gina was already shaking her head. She knew where she belonged and w
here she didn’t, and if she wanted to help Logan make an impression, she certainly couldn’t do it dressed like this. “I think I’ll pass, but thank you for asking.”
“You didn’t even give it a minute of thought.” He sounded more puzzled than annoyed and she saw now that he had meant that invitation seriously.
“I didn’t have to, Logan. I might have professional credentials, but I’m not prepared for an evening of suits, upswept hair and jewels.”
His mouth turned down in a frown and now he did look annoyed. “So you’re a reverse snob?”
The word snob made her stumble for an answer. She wasn’t one and never would be. But maybe she needed to give Logan some understanding of why she’d left. To heal past hurts they needed honesty between them. “Your father hired me to work in the barn. Whenever I enter this estate in any capacity, I think of myself as a hired hand. Your dad never thought I was good enough for you and he told me so. So no, Logan, but on a night like this, dressed as I am, I wouldn’t feel comfortable joining you. Think about it—how would you feel coming to one of my department meetings?”
“My father told you you weren’t good enough for me?” He’d heard what she’d said and understood what it had meant.
Should she say more? They couldn’t get beyond the past if she didn’t, could they? “You and I were…becoming more involved. Your dad came home early from a trip and found us together in a chaise by the pool. When you went inside the pool house to change, he told me I shouldn’t even consider a relationship with you because I was a nobody, and he had plans for you to marry someone in your same social stratum.”
“Gina! Why didn’t you ever tell me?” His voice showed his shock and he looked troubled.
“At the time, I thought it was best not to, and then…it didn’t matter.” She heard laughter float from an interior room. “I shouldn’t have told you now. I just wanted you to understand why I didn’t feel comfortable staying tonight. But I do appreciate the invitation.”
When she turned to leave, he caught her arm. “You can’t just go like this.”
“Yes, I can. Have a good night, Logan. I’ll see you Wednesday for Daniel’s session.”
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