Hannah opened the sliding screen of the sunroom, walked across the patio and opened the gate that led into the pool. She brought a tray of hors d’oeuvres with her and set it on the table where Gina’s and Logan’s bottles of water sat with Daniel’s sippy cup.
“Why don’t I take this little guy inside, get him a bath and something to eat. You two can swim some more if you want. I’ll bet you didn’t get much of a chance while you were entertaining him.”
“That’s a good idea,” Logan said with a thankful smile to his housekeeper. “Do you want to do some real swimming?” he asked Gina.
Now his gaze was on her bathing suit and her legs. Glad she’d bought a new one—a blue and green flowered maillot—she stood perfectly still, accepting his male appreciation, though she felt a little unsettled by it. For years she’d gone out of her way not to be noticed. But today, she liked Logan noticing. She liked the sparkle of hunger she saw in his eyes and his interest in her that she believed was more than friendly.
“Logan to Gina,” he teased as he once might have during their summer together.
She quickly smiled. “I’m here.”
“I can tell when you’re thinking. Smoke puffs out of your ears.”
She smacked his arm with a towel.
He caught the edge of it and pulled her toward him.
By this time, Hannah had taken Daniel inside and they were alone. Their gazes held.
Gina was amazingly aware of Logan’s bare chest…the tawny hair arrowing down under the waistband of his wet swim trunks. Her heart beat even faster at the thought of being here with him.
“You look terrific in that suit. With your creamy white skin, you look like a princess who’s never seen the sun.”
“I never consider myself a princess.”
“Even I remember Cinderella’s story. She worked and slaved and then Prince Charming swept her away. The problem was you didn’t want to be swept away.”
Over the years, she’d had to learn how to express many emotions that she’d kept hidden. She’d had to learn not to take the backseat, to realize her opinion was important.
She returned, “Modern-day Prince Charmings don’t sweep women off their feet. They stand beside them and support them and whisper in their ear at night that they can do anything.”
“That’s the fairy tale now?” Logan asked with arched brows. “That’s not nearly as romantic or life-changing.”
“I’ll bet it’s more life-changing for the man than being swept off her feet ever was for a woman.”
Leaning back to study her more thoroughly, he asked, “Are we going to have an argument about this?”
“Not if you agree.”
Logan laughed out loud. He put his arm around her, towel and all, and led her to the edge of the pool.
With Logan’s arm circling her, she felt protected and not at all afraid. She thought about the security system she’d had installed in every apartment she’d lived in. She hadn’t even thought of having one installed at the Victorian.
She knew safety was an illusion. Alarms and locks and self-defense courses couldn’t always keep a woman safe. Since her experience in college, she’d been hyper-vigilant, waking up several times during the night just to make sure everything was quiet, and no one was trying to break in. Relaxation exercises helped her fall asleep, but staying asleep—
Yet here with Logan, she felt as if she could let that vigilance slip. She could relax. How crazy was that?
Because you’re still in love with him, that tiny voice in her head told her.
And all of a sudden, his arm around her changed from comforting to exciting. As she turned into his chest—
But before the thought could become action, he started down the pool steps and took her towel from around her shoulders, tossing it onto the terra-cotta pavers. The look he gave her now was long and appreciative, and she felt her cheeks getting hot.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. But you do look beautiful.”
She tried to treat his compliment lightly. Running her fingers through her damp hair, she asked, “Even all wet?”
“Especially all wet.”
Her mouth went dry and it was hard to swallow.
“Do compliments like that bother you?”
Now she said something that seemed bold to her. “Not coming from you.”
The expression in his eyes changed in the evening light and she realized those green depths were reflecting the passion in her own gaze.
How would she react if he gave in to it? Was she ready for that step? Was he?
He took her hand and drew her into the water. “Thoughts are going through your mind at the speed of light.”
“More smoke coming out of my ears?” she joked.
“No.” He reached out and brushed a finger over her forehead. “But there’s a crease here.” He touched each corner of her mouth. “And little lines here. I know those lines. They mean you’re analyzing. What are you debating so vigorously?”
The water was above their waists now, and she realized she had nothing to lose by being honest. “I’m trying to decide if you’re afraid to let an attraction between us go anywhere.”
“I don’t think afraid is the word. Besides a history, we both have baggage. I’m concerned.”
“I won’t tell you not to be concerned. But that concern won’t go away if we act like best friends rather than—”
“Rather than lovers?” he finished, looking at her with an intensity that made every nerve ending tingle. He circled her waist and brought her closer. “Does being close to me like this, without much between us, make you nervous?”
“No,” she assured him with all the certainty in her heart, believing all the tingling in her body had to do with arousal, not anxiety.
As he bent his head, she lifted her chin. His lips met hers without hesitation and she was glad of that. Her fingers went to the back of his head and she relished the feel of his hair, the crisp strands, thick and damp under her fingertips. He groaned and his tongue slid into her mouth. She was ready for the intimate play, the chase and retreat, the exploration. She welcomed it and responded to it. Her body sought Logan’s like a ship searching for its harbor. Pressed together as they were, she felt his arousal, had one flutter of panic that went up in flames as their passion turned hotter.
Logan’s hands caressed her back, slid to her backside, and then gently urged her to wrap her legs around him. When she did, he pushed against her at just the right spot. He kept up the rocking motion until she exploded in his arms. Their lips clung together and the sounds in her throat told Logan of her pleasure. He held her even tighter.
When her body stopped trembling, she whispered into his neck, “Why did you do that? Why did you stop before—”
“I wanted to give you a gift. I wanted to give you pleasure that had no price tag, no reason to be other than to make you feel good.”
She leaned back so she could gaze into his eyes. “What about you?”
“This wasn’t about me, Gina. It was about us finding a new direction, searching through the rubble of years ago to find something good.”
“Do you think we found it?”
He shook his head and she saw the doubts in his eyes when he said, “I’m not sure. I have to ask you something.”
“What?”
She ran through at least ten questions before he asked, “Are you going to stay in Sagebrush?”
That wasn’t one she expected. When she didn’t answer right away, he let her legs slip down and took a step back from her. “The fact that you can’t give me an unqualified ‘yes’ means you might leave again. You’ve been hopping around from one place to the next, moving every three or four years. Why?”
She’d faced that question herself before she’d returned to her hometown. “Because I didn’t feel safe…because I didn’t feel settled. Because I wasn’t exactly sure what I should be doing to feel…fulfilled.”
“You wer
e always searching for something better.” The fact that she’d wanted “better” didn’t sound like a compliment.
“Even all those years ago, I was searching for where I belonged. I was hoping when I came home to Sagebrush, I’d feel at home. But life isn’t that simple.”
“So you’re going to move again?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He sighed and ran his hand over his jaw. “Gina, let’s just say we decided to become involved again. I’m an adult. I know fate strikes blows. I know irreconcilable differences happen and relationships break apart. But Daniel is just a little boy who knows he likes you. He’s attaching to you. I don’t want him to get hurt. If you decide someplace else will make you more fulfilled…where will that leave him?”
How could she tell him this was all about the two of them and what they worked at and built together? That was what would keep her in Sagebrush. That was what would make the difference. But Logan wasn’t ready to commit to anything. She knew he wasn’t just using Daniel as an excuse. His adorable little boy was part of this equation, too. Yet Gina wondered—
She put her thought into words. “Do you want an excuse to hold back…not to try this at all?”
“I don’t know,” he responded hoarsely. “Maybe I am looking for a reason not to get in too deep. Do you blame me?”
No, she couldn’t blame him because she had left once before. They should have had this conversation before she’d felt the wonder of intimacy with him again.
He must have seen the regret on her face because he said, “I was going to ask you to help me put Daniel to bed tonight. But maybe it’s better if you don’t.”
“Maybe it’s better if I don’t,” she agreed, heading for the steps and her towel and a life in Sagebrush that possibly didn’t include Logan.
Chapter Ten
Gina’s heart went out to Lily two weeks later as they sat in the living room of the Victorian. “I’m surprised you came over tonight.”
Lily was obviously attempting to keep her spirits up, though it seemed to be tough. “Troy’s deployment ceremony is Tuesday. He’ll be gone for training, and then he’ll be in Afghanistan for a year.” She sighed. “I can’t think about it. I’m simply going to concentrate on this weekend.”
Thunder grumbled outside as a storm moved across Sagebrush. Gina and her friends were waiting until it passed to enjoy their movie night.
In response to Gina’s original comment, Lily said, “He had some furniture he wanted to finish in his workshop tonight. But I think he needed a few hours for himself.”
Gina knew Troy was a general contractor and did woodworking as a hobby. The couple had only been married a year and were still settling into married life.
Raina moved from the easy chair to join Lily and Gina on the sofa. “I have a feeling you’re going to be celebrating the Fourth of July weekend with fireworks of your own,” she teased Lily.
Lily blushed and was about to retort when the phone rang. Raina plucked it up from the side table. “It could be my mother—her regular Saturday night check-in.”
Lily remarked wistfully, “It must be nice to have family.”
Lily had no family except for Troy. Gina felt compelled to say, “You can call me or Raina whenever you need somebody to talk to.”
Raina handed the phone to Gina, her brows drawing together. “It’s Hannah Mahoney.”
Gina’s panic button screamed a warning as she took the phone and put it to her ear. “Hannah?”
“Gina, I know this is Fourth of July weekend and you’re probably busy, but Logan’s away and Daniel’s scared of the thunder. He’s calling your name.”
“He’s saying my name?” He’d started saying “Gee, gee, gee, gee” whenever she was around.
“It seems like it to me. He misses his dad. He’s calling for him, too.”
“Logan’s away?”
“Since Thursday night. He’s in Seattle on business, but that’s hard to explain to a fifteen-month-old. It’s even harder to explain why he hasn’t seen you for two weeks.”
It sounded as if Hannah wanted an explanation, too. “Daniel is doing well on his own now. Dr. Rossi can give him regular assessments and can also recommend a parent group to Logan if he feels like attending.”
“Uh-oh. You two had a fight.”
Gina remained silent. Sometimes she felt as if Hannah was trying in subtle ways to play matchmaker. She could hear Hannah sigh as Daniel’s crying rose in volume. His nanny must have taken the phone over to his crib.
“Well?” Hannah asked when she came back on. “Are you going to come over here and give me a hand? I don’t want him to make himself sick.”
Gina didn’t want that, either. “All right. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She settled the phone back on its console and found Raina and Lily watching her expectantly.
“Daniel’s crying. Hannah said he’s calling for me. Logan’s away and she thinks I can help.”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” Lily said with a shrug. “Kids want what they want when they want it. Maybe all you have to do is hold him for a little while and he’ll fall asleep.”
Raina’s response was a little more tempered. “Daniel will have to get used to not seeing you if you’re stopping his sessions.”
“I know, but—”
She didn’t have to say more because Raina finished for her. “But you’ve grown attached to him. So go save the day.”
Lily assured her, “I’ll leave the DVD and you can watch it tomorrow if you’d like.”
“I might be back before you’re gone.”
Shaking her head, Raina said, “I wouldn’t count on it. With kids, the unexpected always happens.”
Knowing that was true, Gina grabbed a light jacket from the living-room closet to wear over her navy shorts and navy-and-white striped knit top in case she got caught in the rain. After she waved to her friends, she grabbed her purse from the foyer table. “See you later.”
“Later,” Raina and Lily called in unison.
Gina liked the fact that she had friends who cared about where she was going, where she’d be and when she’d return. She hadn’t let anyone get as close as Raina and Lily in many years. Maybe one day soon, she’d confide in Lily the way she’d confided in Raina.
The windshield wipers struggled to keep up with the sudden downpour. Thunder rolled ominously in the distance. She wasn’t surprised that it had spooked Daniel. Most kids were afraid of loud bangs, especially at night. She wondered how many business trips Logan took in a year. Maybe as Daniel grew older, he’d take more. Yet Logan was the type of parent who’d want to stay close to his son. A child needed a committed parent, even when they were older. And even then, with a parent’s guidance, a son or daughter could make the wrong decisions.
Like your wrong decision? her conscience asked her.
Precisely like that, Gina thought. A teenager might not yet be able to sort out what would make her happy, to sort out her inner voice from all of the voices outside of herself. But Gina wasn’t that teenager anymore. She knew what her heart needed.
At the estate, Gina parked at the top of the circle near the front walk. She was going to get wet. She dashed up the stairs to the house and didn’t even have to ring the bell. Hannah was there waiting to let her in, holding Daniel, who was red-faced and still crying.
She shook her head as Gina stepped over the threshold. “I know he’s heard thunder before, but it never affected him like this.”
“Has Logan ever been gone during a storm?”
“That’s a good question. This is his first trip in a while, so I suppose not.”
Daniel was already leaning over Hannah’s arm toward Gina, reaching for her.
“See, I told you he wants you.”
As if on cue, Daniel said, “Gee…gee, gee, gee.”
Smiling, feeling her heart warm, Gina held the baby close, running her hand over his sweat-dampened hair. His little body was hot from all the pent-up emotion, all the words he co
uldn’t yet say, all the feelings he tried to express with tears and gurgles and the kick of his legs.
She rocked him back and forth and murmured, “You’re fine, big boy, just fine. You’re safe here and no one’s going to hurt you.” His tears slowed as he cuddled close to her and expressed a baby sigh of ease.
“Well, look at that,” Hannah said, hands on hips. “You’d think I hadn’t been taking care of him since before he was born.”
“You know it’s not you, don’t you? He just needed something different tonight, I guess.”
“He missed you, and no matter what Logan says, I know it’s so.”
No matter what Logan says. Apparently they’d discussed it. “Do you think it would be all right if I take him to his room, change him into another set of pj’s and wash him up a little?”
“I think you could do anything you want with him,” Hannah joked. “While you’re doing that, I’ll fetch him some milk, then maybe you can rock him to sleep. I’m sorry I called you out like this, but he was just so unhappy.”
“This reaction of his worries me, although I imagine if Logan were here this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Maybe,” Hannah said, not sounding sure about that at all. “Pretty soon he’ll be able to get your whole name out and Logan will see for sure he wants you.”
A half hour later, Gina had washed and freshly dressed Daniel for bed. She was sitting in the rocker in his room, holding him and his bottle. He’d fallen asleep while drinking and she couldn’t bear to put him down in his crib.
“What are you doing here?”
Gina jumped, startled when she heard Logan’s voice. The reflexive action wakened Daniel and he started to cry. She cooed to him, and when he looked into her eyes, his tears stopped. He reached for her, winding his little arms around her neck. She wasn’t going to pull away from him because Logan was watching. She was going to give this baby the comfort he needed.
Patting his back, she murmured, “It’s okay. There’s no more thunder.”
Logan crossed to her and crouched down, eager to take his son from her arms. He’d left his tie somewhere and the top buttons of his shirt were open. It was wrinkled and he looked tired…even more tired when Daniel turned away from him, holding on more tightly to Gina.
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