The Texas Billionaire's Baby

by Karen Rose Smith

  Gina’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “At least—” Her voice broke. “Fourteen years ago, you told me you loved me and wanted to marry me. I was foolish to walk away. I should have stayed and fought for you, and believed you would fight for me. But now I don’t think you’re willing to fight for anyone but Daniel. After we made love without protection, you withdrew.”

  “Gina—”

  “Please, let me finish. The idea of a baby with me totally rattled you. I’ve been sorting through all the reasons why. Because you don’t love me and we’re together again for old times’ sake? Because you felt sorry for me and wanted to make up for the fact you weren’t there for me? Why didn’t you come after me, Logan? I know now your dad had his stroke. But after our conversation, couldn’t you tell by my voice that something was wrong? Why didn’t you ask? Why didn’t you call again? Why didn’t you come and see me? If you had…”

  A tear rolled down her cheek and her voice caught. “If you had, maybe we could have held each other. Maybe we would have had each other. I’ve taken the blame for our breakup all these years, but I’m not sure I should have. Some of that blame was yours, too.”

  “You left,” he said almost stubbornly.

  “Yes. And I came back.”

  “So why are you flying to Houston in August?” His tone was still accusatory. He didn’t want to see what she was trying to show him. He did want all the blame to be on her.

  She sighed, a deep, sad sound. “Because I realize deep in my heart that you’re going to pull away. When we were in the car and Maggie called, I sensed you didn’t want me anywhere near you and her and Daniel. I understand that you want to cherish Amy’s memory. But if I were truly going to be part of your life, if you were really going to let me in, wouldn’t you want me there, too? And if not, if you thought Maggie might not understand, wouldn’t you explain that to me so that I didn’t feel as if you were pushing me away? You pushed me away hard, Logan. The dream of my business plan coming to fruition, and the idea of doing consultations was a way for me to pick up myself by my bootstraps, stay in Sagebrush near my family for now, and figure out what comes next. When I learned coping mechanisms, one of them was planning for every possibility. After all, loving you all those years ago brought me pain, too.”

  Looking at Gina’s beautiful face, seeing her tears run down her cheek into the black curls there, noticing the way she was holding on to the desk for support, he realized he never should have come here to have this conversation. Her office wasn’t private. He should have shown her more respect than to do this at her professional home base.

  “You’d better leave, Logan.” She swiped the tears from her cheek. “I have a session with a new client in fifteen minutes and I need to pull myself together.”

  She’d given him a lot to think about. He felt barraged by emotions and feelings and knowledge that he had somehow to shake into place, sort the good from the bad and figure out what he was left with.

  Were he and Gina finished? He just didn’t know. And because he didn’t know, he turned and left her office. After he closed the door behind him, she left the blinds shut.

  That about said it all.

  Angie gave Gina a ferocious hug the following evening. Both of them were crying. Gina had stopped by Angie’s apartment to tell her everything. She should have done it a long time ago.

  Now she leaned back to study her sister’s face. “I shouldn’t have waited this long to tell you.”

  Angie backhanded the tears running down her cheek. “I thought you blamed me for your breakup with Logan. I thought that’s why you wouldn’t talk to me for so long. I thought that’s why you didn’t come home for Christmas that year.”

  Gina felt terrible that she had let her sister down. “I had to get myself together. I couldn’t let any of you see what had happened.”

  “So you told Logan everything? How did he take it?”

  “He was wonderful. He went really slow with me. But I knew I never had anything to fear from Logan and being with him was wonderful.”

  “Then why do you look as if you haven’t slept for a while?”

  “Because he’s not ready to love again. I can’t just be friends with him. Not when I love him and Daniel so much. He doubted I’d stay in Sagebrush. He was afraid I’d leave again.”

  “Why?”

  She told Angie about the offer Silverstein had made.

  “You could be rich and famous!”

  “I don’t want to be rich and famous. I want to be successful, but I just want to love my work. And I do.”

  “And what about you and Logan?”

  “He’ll never forgive me for telling him about his father. I never should have done that. But I was so frustrated and hurt. Oh, Ange, you should have seen the hurt in his eyes. I had no right to cause him that pain.”

  “You were just defending yourself.”

  “Maybe, but at what cost?”

  “Don’t you think he deserved to know the truth?”

  Gina shook her head. “I’m not so sure.”

  “Sis, the truth doesn’t hurt us. It might make us reexamine what we think, maybe even who we are. But you can’t tuck it away and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s like this secret of yours. If we’d known, we could have supported you. We wouldn’t have thought we had done something wrong.”

  Gina felt her throat close again and she and her sister shared a heartfelt glance.

  “You are going to tell Mom and Dad now, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t want to hurt them. I know what I’ll see in Mom’s eyes—pain for me and what happened. And with Dad, I know I’ll see rage—rage that someone could hurt his little girl.”

  “You’re going to have to let them deal with it, just as I have to. In time, maybe we can all put it in the past.”

  “We will put it in the past,” Gina said with an assurance she truly felt. Telling Angie, just like telling Logan and Raina, had been freeing. Her parents were a different matter, but she was hoping they’d become even closer than they were now.

  “So what are you going to do about Logan?”

  “There’s nothing I can do.” As she said the words her heart felt broken.

  “Maybe when you go to Houston you should think seriously about expanding Baby Grows.”

  “That seems to be the logical thing to do—to throw myself into a new project and let that change my life. But I think I just need to be me for a while. I have plenty of clients, plenty of work to do here. Logan and I certainly don’t run in the same circles. With a little luck I won’t see him for a very long time.”

  Just saying the words practically stopped her heart. When she thought about him…when she thought about Daniel…

  She rose from the sofa in Angie’s living room and nodded toward the kitchen. “Let’s get a glass of iced tea. Now I want to know everything about your life. I want us to really be sisters again.”

  Angie rose, too, and gave Gina another hug. “Afterward, do you want me to go with you to Mom and Dad’s?”

  Gina shook her head. “No. I have to do that alone.”

  She was used to being alone, but at least now she had her family and Raina and Lily. She’d face each new sunrise and create a life for herself. Without Logan.

  Logan pulled up to the gas pump at a station on the outskirts of Sagebrush Friday night, intending to fill the tank quickly before he headed home. Daniel would be waiting for him.

  Gina wouldn’t be, though.

  With a frustrated sigh Logan took off his Stetson, ran his hand through his hair, then plopped his hat back on his head. The empty feeling in his heart, in his chest, in his stomach hadn’t left, not for an instant over the past two days. He wasn’t sleeping, he was eating only when he had to, and he was rowing or riding when he wasn’t working or playing with Daniel. Being with Daniel was almost painful when he called, “Gee, gee,” and Logan’s conflicted emotions about Gina seemed more confused than ever.

  He filled his gas tank, then went inside
the small convenience store to pay. He spotted Raina Gibson right away. Back when he was a teenager and had come home from boarding school in the summers, he’d often admired Raina’s beauty as she waitressed at the Yellow Rose. But he’d never tried to date her. Her older brother, Ryder—now a cop on the Lubbock police force—had been more than a little protective. Logan had respected him for it.

  Knowing Raina might rebuff him now because of her friendship with Gina, he approached her anyway. After she paid her bill, he tapped her shoulder. When she turned and saw him, she froze.

  “I have to pay for my gas,” he said. “But I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes after I do. Would that be all right?”

  She looked torn between loyalty and—maybe—curiosity. Tucking her wallet into her purse, she nodded to the back of the store near the cold-beverage cases. “I’ll wait for you there.”

  As soon as he paid, he joined her. “How is Gina?”

  Raina met his gaze squarely. “Why?”

  “Because I care about her. Because—”

  Raina didn’t make him finish. She tucked her purse under her arm. “She’s doing about as well as you from the looks of it. She’s not sleeping. She doesn’t have an appetite. She works late. Does that about sum up your life, too?”

  “I shouldn’t have stopped you,” he muttered. “There’s no point.” He turned to go.

  But Raina called his name. “Logan.”

  He paused and turned to face her. This friend of Gina’s, who probably knew the whole story, would be one hundred percent on her friend’s side.

  So she surprised him when she said, “I know where you are, Logan. I lost my husband. Going on and fighting for a new life is like climbing Everest without the proper tools, without preparations for the blizzard you know you’re going to run into. The difference between you and me is that I didn’t have a child to remind me even more deeply every day of what I’d lost.”

  She really did seem to understand, and, more important, she didn’t seem to be judging him. “I believe I am ready to move on. I think Amy would want me to. But Gina and I—For years I believed one thing. I thought she’d betrayed me. I had doubts. But then Wednesday she dropped a bombshell about my father and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

  “Gina told you the truth.”

  He nodded. “We always think we want to know the truth, but then when we hear it, we change our minds.”

  Raina didn’t disagree. “Your father attempted to interfere with your relationship with Gina all those years ago. Are you going to let him do it again now?”

  That was a punch Logan hadn’t been expecting. “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

  “Not usually. And I won’t lie to Gina about running into you today. But I probably won’t say anything unless she asks, either.”

  When Raina didn’t move away, he realized she wanted to tell him something else but didn’t know if she should.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Putting the past behind is never easy. Gina has struggled with that, too. But maybe you should know…She told her family everything, too. It was time.”

  “No more secrets. Nothing else kept in the dark.”

  “Exactly,” Raina agreed.

  Logan saw a wisdom in Raina’s dark eyes that he wished he possessed himself at this moment. “Thanks,” he said, meaning it.

  “No thanks necessary,” she said with a shake of her head, her long black hair falling over her shoulder. “I just wish you and Gina could get on the same page before it’s too late.”

  The words too late echoed in his mind as he drove home. The sound of their hum was somewhat muted as he had supper with Daniel, played with him and then put him to bed.

  In his crib Daniel’s expression when he looked up at Logan and asked, “Gee, gee? Gee, gee?” made Logan’s heart feel like a lead weight. The words too late reverberated like a clanging bell as he settled in his office.

  Raina’s words became louder than the bell. Your father tried to interfere in your relationship with Gina all those years ago. Are you going to let him do it again?

  Why hadn’t he gone after Gina after she’d left? Sure, his father’s stroke was the easy answer. But there was another answer, deeper and more unsettling. His pride had been hurt. Oh, he’d known it all these years, but he just hadn’t admitted it. Until Gina, he could have had any woman he wanted. After all, his father was wealthy and Logan knew he could attract pretty women. But when he’d met Gina, she honestly hadn’t seemed to care about his money. All she’d wanted to do was take care of the horses. They’d been a priority for him, too, and the two of them had bonded over the birth of a foal. They’d looked into each other’s eyes and known…they were soul mates.

  They’d talked for hours on end before they’d gotten physical. And once that had happened, every moment with Gina had been one to be cherished and savored. When he’d asked her to marry him, he hadn’t expected her to hesitate. Not for an instant. But she’d not only hesitated, she’d said no. She’d left him. He’d been dumped. That feeling had been new and raw and tearing. So when he’d finally called her and she’d rebuffed him, he’d decided he didn’t need that humiliation. He was Logan Barnes. He could find another woman easily.

  But he hadn’t. Not until Amy. Because Gina had never left his mind and he’d compared every woman he’d met to her.

  Now she’d turned his world upside down again. The father he’d thought had loved him had been as cold as everyone had said he was. He had no doubt that Elliot Barnes would have disinherited him if Logan had insisted on marrying Gina. Why hadn’t he seen his father’s hand in everything back then? How could he have believed that the love that he and Gina shared hadn’t really been there but had been a figment of his imagination?

  And now? Oh, yeah, he still had his pride. Small comfort that was. Maybe he’d have to learn how to toss it away.

  No—there was no maybe about it. If he wanted Gina back—and he now knew down to the soles of his boots that he did—he’d have to trade pride for happiness.

  If it wasn’t too late.

  Chapter Thirteen

  On Saturday evening, Gina didn’t know what to make of Raina. Or Lily, who had arrived at the house with several containers of Chinese food, as if she and Raina had planned it.

  Raina forked lo mein onto a dish. “We thought you’d enjoy something different for a change.”

  Lily waved at the tallest container. “The lemon chicken’s wonderful. You’ve really got to try it.”

  Neither of them said anything about her lack of appetite but she knew this dinner was all about that.

  “Rice, too,” Raina prompted. Then she added, “Lily’s going to teach us how to crochet. That way you’ll have something to concentrate on instead of staring into space.”

  “Do you really think I need something else to concentrate on? I picked up three new clients this past week.”

  “Just think, you can get an early start on Christmas,” Lily advised her. “You can make a sweater for everybody in your family. They’ll love it.”

  Gina supposed that was true, but she didn’t see crocheting as a real outlet or hobby. She’d still be able to think while she was doing it.

  “There’s another reason for me to crochet.” Lily’s cheeks took on more color.

  Gina studied her and began to smile—a genuine smile she felt straight from her heart. “Are you—?”

  “Pregnant!” The word erupted from Lily in a burst of joy. “Can you believe it? I e-mailed Troy yesterday. He’s through-the-roof happy. I can’t wait until—”

  The doorbell rang.

  “Are you two expecting someone?” Gina asked.

  A knowing smile crossed Raina’s lips. “No, but you are. Why don’t you go answer it?”

  What had they done? Sent her balloons and a singing clown to cheer her up?

  “If this is something that’s going to embarrass me,” she called over her shoulder as she hurried to the door, “I’ll make sure th
at on your birthdays—”

  She never finished the sentence because as she entered the foyer she saw a shadow through the side glass. A tall, very broad-shouldered shadow.

  She felt like running back to the kitchen, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Not and face life as she should. So she opened the door. Although she’d suspected who that shadow belonged to, she was still shocked to see Logan there.

  “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” His voice was deep and husky and she wondered if she saw a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.

  “I never expected to see you at this door again.”

  “Would you come with me?”

  She took a step back. “Where?”

  Lily and Raina had appeared now. Raina had brought Gina’s purse. Lily was carrying the light shawl Gina used for cooler nights. “What’s this?” she asked them.

  “We think you should go.”

  Gina felt a little angry now. “So you know what’s going on? Would you please tell me?”

  “Logan will tell you if you give him a chance,” Raina advised her.

  If she’d give him a chance. A chance to do what?

  “Go with the flow,” Lily whispered in her ear in a fairy-godmother type of way.

  Just why was she hesitating? What did she have to lose?

  More pieces of her heart. She remembered what Logan had said. How could I ever trust you’d stay?

  “Don’t think, Gina, please.” He stretched out his hand for hers. “Just come with me.”

  She looked down at the sundress she’d put on, simply because it was light and cool. “I’m not dressed for—”

  “You’re dressed just right.” He was still holding out his hand and she was truly afraid to think about what this could mean.

  Raina gave her a little nudge and Gina took Logan’s hand.

  He smiled at the two women behind her. “Thanks. I owe you.”

  “Count on it,” Lily said with a smile.

  Then he was leading Gina out the door to his Range Rover. When he helped her inside, she was aware of his face close to hers. But then he stepped away and shut her door.