by Bianca Vix
He doesn’t see to mind staring at my breasts now. I know my bra’s visible through the pale fabric of my top. That’s why I only wear it under sweaters. Still. He shouldn’t be staring. Staring like he’s remembering the other night just as much as I am. “I’m changing into a warmer one. In my room. And you haven’t answered me. What are you doing here?”
Linc comes inside. Uninvited, of course. “Can’t use candles without matches. There aren’t any in the kitchen.” He walks past me, right up to the dresser and opens the bottom drawer. And pulls out a big box of matches, and a handful of candles.
“How did you know those were there?” I only unpacked into the top two drawers, so I never opened the other ones.
“This is usually my room, remember? They always keep this kind of stuff in here.”
He takes a step closer to me. I don’t move away. What’s he up to?
I meet his gaze and swallow against my suddenly dry throat. His expression. I’ve seen it before. It’s just like how he looked when he caught me in here before. Filled with desire.
Linc. Desire. For me? I can’t believe it. He’s barely spoken to me since Jase got here. And hardly before that, either. He doesn’t like me. I don’t like him. It can’t be.
And yet there it is. It’s unmistakable.
The moment stretches out until I have to stop it. It’s not right. I step away, grabbing for my thick, warm sweater that’s lying at the foot of the bed. Linc doesn’t say a word while I pull in on.
I’m surprised he’s still here. He’s got what he came for. But I don’t want to tell him to leave.
“Sexy.” He’s looking me over. It’s not a sexy sweater. Totally the opposite. It’s big and bulky and warm. I love it to pieces, especially up here. But sexy? No way.
And yet there’s no sarcasm in Linc’s voice. Not a trace. My breath catches. I can’t look away from him.
He closes the small gap between us. His hand goes to my arm and his fingers trail over my sweater. “Soft, too.” His voice is low. There’s something raw in it.
I don’t know what to say. It’s hypnotic, standing with him like this in the room where he stood and watched me come. The room that’s gotten darker even since he’s been here.
I don’t want to enjoy his touch. Not a bit. But I do. More than enjoy it. It’s turning me on.
His hand moves from my arm to my back. Our bodies are almost touching but not quite. We’re close enough so that I can feel the heat coming from him.
We both move at the same time, or at least I think that’s what happened. Linc’s arms are around me. Our lips are locked together and I can’t believe how good this kiss is. So good I never want it to end.
He’s holding me close to him. My breasts are up against his chest. His strong, solid chest. One of his hands goes to my hair and somehow he’s stroking it in a way that sets my entire body on fire.
I don’t know how long we’ve been kissing for. Nothing registers. Like nothing’s real. We keep going, on and on.
Until we both hear the floor creak. The moment between us shatters into a hundred tiny pieces, just like broken glass.
Without a word, Linc turns and walks out. I run my hands through my hair to straighten it. I feel like I’ve just gone for a run. Breathless. And something else.
My body’s still vibrating from that kiss.
I don’t know what that was about. Is he attracted to me?
Or worse.
Am I attracted to Linc?
What. The. Hell.
Chapter 9
Jase
Between the three of us, we’ve found a decent number of candles, a lot of matches, and a few oil lamps. There’s a good supply of oil too. Unfortunately, the firewood that Linc & I collected isn’t likely to be enough.
The sky’s black, or at least it was when I could still see it. This blizzard is whiting everything out, making it gloomy dark in here far sooner than it should be.
It’s worrying. There’s no chance we can go back out there to cut firewood now.
I tried to get through to city services until my phone died. Now I’m on Linc’s phone. It’s the only one of ours that was close to being fully charged when the power went out. But it’s impossible to get hold of a person. Recorded messages kick in at every turn. So even once the storm lets up, there’s no telling when the roads might get cleared enough for us to navigate our way out of here.
“So?” Linc asks. “What’re they doing to help us?”
“Nothing. I can’t get through to anyone. We’ll have to wait this out.”
“Wait it out? Even once this blizzard’s blown over, we’ll be buried under snow for who knows how long.”
“I know.” Mykayla comes back into the living room and I stop talking. She doesn’t need to worry anymore than she already is.
“We’ll be okay.” I try to inject some enthusiasm into my voice. “We’ve got food and water. We can conserve the firewood as much as we can. Especially by not letting the fire burn through the night. And Sam’s going to get the word out to someone who can rescue us. It’s not like we’re lost outside in the woods.”
I’m trying to minimize the situation for Mykayla’s sake. She’s too upset as it is, and that’s not good for her. Linc’s eyebrow lifts. He knows what’s up, he was out there with me and neither one of us has forgotten just how much of a struggle it was out there just to get back here. And that was hours ago. The storm’s only gotten worse, with no signs of letting up. If I thought we had a chance out there, I’d have suggested we walk out on our own. But there’s no way that can happen now. No chance at all of that working out with any kind of a good end.
At least Linc doesn’t call me out on it. Maybe he gets why. Whatever the reason, I’m glad for it. I’ll talk to Mykayla once we’re alone.
“Since there’s nothing else we can do, I’m going to go take a nap.” Linc leaves, and I sit down with Mykayla. Earlier on, Linc and I pushed the sofa closer to the fire. The heat’s welcome now. This big place makes it hard to keep warm when we have to be careful with how much wood we burn. For the first time, I’m not liking the extremely high ceilings.
I circle my arms around Mykayla. “You don’t need to worry. We won’t be stuck here forever. We’ll be fine until we can get out.”
She leans against me. “I know.”
“So what’s bothering you?”
“It’s not that. Well, it is some. I don’t like being trapped anywhere. But there’s something else.”
“So, what then?”
Mykayla pauses for so long, I’m not sure she heard me. She turns her head to face me, and she looks really upset.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” She takes a deep breath. “Linc and I kissed.”
I run my hand through her hair. “And?”
“And what? That’s it. But that’s bad enough. It’s not like I planned it. It just happened. I know that’s a really weak thing to say. But that’s how it was. And I’m sorry.”
“Is that all? Because that’s nothing to worry about.”
“Really?” Her expression turns to one of disbelief. “You don’t care? Why not? I thought you wanted to go out with me. And you and I slept together. I’ve never done anything like that before. Kissed a guy when I’m seeing another one. It’s not how I am.”
“It’s fine, Mykayla. Really. It’s just a kiss and it’s not a big deal. And it’s not like you and I have even gone out yet. Not like we’re exclusive. Linc’s a good-looking guy. I’d kiss him myself if I had a chance to.”
Her eyes widen. “You think so? You would?”
I laugh. “Sure. You should have seen him out there cutting firewood with me. He’s a sexy guy. I’m only surprised that you kissed him. I thought you didn’t like him. At all.”
“I thought so too. I mean, I didn’t. But it was kind of in the heat of the moment, or something. I can’t really explain it. I don’t get it myself.”
I pull her even closer to me. “So do you see Linc differe
ntly now?”
“I don’t know what to think about him now. Not anymore. It’s not like he’s shown any sign of warming up to me. But I don’t get that hostile vibe from him anymore either.”
She rests her head back against my chest just like she did the other night. I like it when she does that. “I want to be with you, Jase. And I’d like to think there’s a chance that after awhile, we’d be exclusive. Just seeing each other and no-one else.”
I tilt her head so I can give her a kiss on the cheek. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is. But what do you want? Would you ever want to stop seeing men?”
“It’s not about women or men for me. More about finding the right person to be with. Female or male.”
“That makes sense, I guess.”
“I’m glad you can see it. It’s how I’ve always felt. Of course, there’s always the best of both worlds.”
She shifts around. “What do you mean?”
“Both at the same time.”
“You’ve done that?”
“No. Not really. But I’ve wanted to.”
“How can something like that be ‘not really’? Isn’t it yes or no?”
I rub her back. “You’d think. But there was one time that three of us were going to try it. Me, a friend of mine, and his girlfriend. We got started and he freaked the fuck out. I mean, right out. So it didn’t happen. It’s always something I’ve wanted to try out. But the chance never came up again. Finding a willing guy isn’t so easy.”
“Wow. A threesome.” Mykayla leans her head back against me so I can’t see her face anymore. “I’ve never thought of something like that before.”
“So what do you think? Is that something you’d be willing to try?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“You and me and another guy?”
At least she doesn’t sound repulsed by the idea. “That’s what I’m talking about. Only if you really want to, though. No pressure at all.”
Truth be told, I can’t even believe I’m having this conversation. Least of all with Mykayla. I used to bring this kind of thing up with the men and women I dated in the past. It never went well. So much so that I stopped trying. I don’t know why I’m talking about this with Mykayla. I don’t want to do anything to scare her off.
But then again, she might as well get to know me now. And somehow, it’s easy to talk to her about this kind of stuff. Even when we haven’t even gone out yet, haven’t spent any time together outside of the office until now. It’s like I’ve known her for a long time already. Like I already trust her.
She turns in my arms to face me full on. “And would this other guy be Linc?”
I shrug. “Could be.”
“Oh, come on. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Now I’m the one caught off guard. “What are you talking about?”
“Jase. Seriously. You check him out every chance you get.”
I blink. “I guess.” Sometimes I catch myself doing that here, sure. I never thought Mykayla would have noticed.
And if she has, then has he?
Probably not. He wouldn’t have been as relaxed as he was going out for firewood with me if he had. Yeah. No way. I can’t imagine a guy like him would be okay with another man checking him out.
“He’s not bad looking.” Mykayla’s cautious. Is she trying to be careful with herself, or me?
“Linc’s pretty hot.”
“So, you’d sleep with him. And me too?”
I give her a hug and trace my fingertips down her arm. “Yes. So the question is, would you?”
Chapter 10
Mykayla
Did Jase just ask me if I’d have sex with both himself and Linc?
Yes. He did.
And he’s waiting for my answer.
He’s serious.
Without thinking, I jump up and out of his arms. “Do you want some coffee? Or wine? Anything? Because I need something to drink.”
“Wine sounds nice.” He makes a move to get up and come with me but I stand in front of him.
“No, stay here. I’ll get it.”
I go off before he can protest. I don’t want him to follow me into the kitchen. I need a moment alone.
Or a few.
It’s colder out in the kitchen than I thought it would be. Makes sense, since Jase built a way smaller fire than he’s been doing since before the blizzard locked us all in here. But it’s more than that. I’m cold without his body against mine. Without his arms wrapped around me. Even my big sweater’s not doing it for me now.
I find a bottle of white wine. We’re low on wine, too. A lot of the food and drinks were supposed to be brought up today. We’re going to have to conserve everything.
But not wine. At least, not now. I need something to calm me down. A drink to settle the crazy storm of emotions that Jase’s question stirred up in me. I’m almost as jittery as I was right after Linc and I kissed. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ve gone from maybe starting to date a guy sometime to thinking about having a threesome with him and another man.
So. Not. Me.
And not just any other man. A guy I don’t like, at that. Or do I? My feelings for Linc were pretty clear cut. Until now. I wouldn’t have kissed him if I truly didn’t like him. No way.
I start to fill two wine glasses, filling both of them more than I should. That’s okay. If Jase doesn’t want all of his, I’ll drink it. I need that touch of reality. Having a glass or two of wine is what I’d be doing on a normal Saturday night if I was back in the city.
This is far from a normal Saturday night.
I’m pouring as slowly as I can. I’m not ready to answer Jase’s question yet. I know what I want to tell him. But I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to risk what could be a good thing with him. But I can’t hide who I am. What I want, or what I don’t want matters. Just as much as what he does too.
I take my time going back out to the living room. I don’t know what I’m going to say to him. But it’s Jase. I don’t know why, but somehow I feel like I can be open with him. When I think about it, we really don’t know each other all that well. Even though we’ve known each other for a long time. Still I feel like I can say anything to him.
“Hey.” His face lights up with a big smile when he sees me. Now that’s one way to warm me up. “I thought I was going to have to send a search and rescue party after you.”
“It’d be nice to have one of those, wouldn’t it.” I slide back down onto the sofa beside him, handing him a glass. “Get us out of this pile of snow we’re under.”
“I don’t know. I’m not minding being here now. Not like this, here with you.” His eyes glitter in the fire light. My heart jumps in my chest.
I can’t wait to sleep with Jase again. Up until now, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex with a man. I’m eager to make up for lost time. And to my total shock, my body’s been pulsing from the moment Jase brought up the idea of a threesome. The idea alone is so exciting, I can’t believe I’ve never thought about it before.
And the idea of a third being Linc. That’s something else. Part of me doesn’t know how to feel about that. Most of me does. He’s hot. And since that kiss, I’ve been more than curious about him. My irritation with him is fighting with a strangely growing desire. And curiosity. It’s always been in me to try new things, ever since I was a child. It’s how I live. But this feels big. And like something there’s no going back from. Something’s holding me back. I don’t know what. It’s just sex. Something to try and if I’m not into it, then I don’t have to do it again. And yet somehow I’m as terrified as I am turned on.
I can’t believe I’ve gone from no guy, to the possibility of two. Finally my curiosity wins out. Why turn that down? Since when have I ever given in to fear? Especially when I don’t even know what it is that I’m afraid of.
Of course if it doesn’t work out, then being stuck here with Linc is going to suck.
Hard. Maybe I shouldn’t do it. It’s been awkward enough already. And it’s not looking like we’re getting out any time soon.
That worry I have in the back of my mind comes forward. I don’t like being trapped. It’s taking everything I have in me not to focus on the fact that we’re stuck here. I don’t want to panic. I especially don’t want Jase to see me panic. I get the feeling he likes a strong, confident woman. And usually that’s what I am. As long as I’m not thinking about the mountains of snow growing steadily up around us. Or the chance that we’ll run out of firewood. Or food. Or–
No. Stop it. Don’t go there.
Focus. Okay. If nothing else, sex will keep my mind off those things. Not that I’d just have sex for that reason alone. I want Jase. And I hate to admit it, but I’m wanting Linc too.
I take a deep breath. Jase’s waiting for my answer. I know that as much as he wants this, he wouldn’t pressure me. I trust him.
And what really pushes me over the edge into making my decision as I gaze into the bright flames dancing in front of me is not only the memory of Linc’s kiss. It’s the chance to do it again. With Jase right there too. Both of them. Two men. Double the hands on me. Twice the mouths.
I can’t pretend it’s not true.
I want both of these hot men.
“Do you really think Linc would go for something like that?”
Jase’s eyes glitter. “You know, with most other guys I’d say no, probably not. But him. He’s been checking me out when he thinks I don’t notice. He’s interested. But whether he’ll go for it or not, that’s a whole other story. He might be too afraid of what it would mean. Who knows. But if both you and I are into it, then we can go from there. See what happens. Either way, with Linc or not, I want you, Mykayla.”
Nothing wrong with that. How does Jase always know the perfect thing to say to put me at ease? The more I get to know about him, the more I’m falling for him. He feels safe to me. I’ve already had more open conversations with him in the last couple days than I had with my ex over our entire relationship.
This is what I want. To be with a man who knows what he wants, and isn’t afraid to express it. And go for it, no matter what. Jase’s so laid back, but at the same time he’s got an incredible strength about him. He’d fight for me. Defend me against anything and anyone bad. He’s like no man I’ve ever known before.