by R. A. Smyth
“They want me to go to the compound and start assessing them face to face,” I say bleakly, noticing how Hadley tenses beside me. “I have to go. They’ll hurt West if I don’t.”
I spare her a quick glance, and she nods her head sharply, understanding why I have to go, but I don’t miss her tight expression as I return my gaze to the dark road in front of us. In fairness, we don’t know for sure that they would hurt West. Maybe it’s all a bluff, and they wouldn’t really hurt one of their own kids. But is it a risk worth taking, testing them to see what they do? Hell no.
Driving onto the campus, I park my car in the staff parking lot and walk Hadley to her dorm. Very few people are around. Most of them are probably at that pointless party still, and anyone left on campus has better things to do than lurking around outside the dorms on a Saturday night.
“Lock your door when you get in.”
She gives me a placating smile that’s full of attitude. Yeah, yeah, I know she can take care of herself. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry, though. Rolling my eyes, I push gently on her shoulder, nudging her toward the building.
“Get in there, you pest.”
She chuckles, waving at me over her shoulder before disappearing behind the door.
When she’s out of sight, I take off toward the guys' dorms, climb the stairs to the fourth floor, and knock on the door.
With a perpetual scowl gracing his face, Hawk answers. “You should have told one of us you were leaving,” he snarks before I’ve even made it inside their apartment. Seriously, what is so permanently lodged up his ass that he can’t even give me a fucking hello before ripping into me?
“It wasn’t exactly planned,” I drawl dismissively as I walk past him into their open plan living and kitchen area and spot the other three musketeers sprawled out across the sofas.
“What happened?” Hawk demands, gaining the attention of the others as their eyes pin me in place.
“Nothing. Our father was killing her with boredom,” I respond calmly, looking at West. His features tighten, but I ignore him, turning back to glare at Hawk. “What the hell were your parents thinking, throwing her into that party tonight?
“I think the better question is what are you doing for our parents?” West snaps from behind me, making me spin to face him.
“What are you talking about?”
“We had a meeting with our parents today, and they so kindly informed us that you were already working for them. So what the hell have you been doing that you didn’t think to tell us about?”
I grit my teeth. “I can’t tell you.”
West scoffs. “Of course not. That’s not suspicious as fuck. How do we even know you’re on our side? You could be a mole, reporting back everything we say and do.”
“Seriously?” After all the shit I’ve had to do the last few months—shit that has slowly eaten away at my soul—all in order to keep his ungrateful ass alive, and he accuses me of this?
Before I know it, I’ve closed the distance between us. Wrapping my hand around the front of his shirt, he glowers back defiantly as I hiss at him, “Everything I’ve done has been to protect you. You have no fucking idea what I’ve had to do to keep you safe. To keep you alive.”
Hesitation and confusion flicker across his face, but they're gone in an instant.
“I never asked you to do that,” he bites back, infuriating me further.
“Why would you do that?” Mason asks, interrupting the stare-off between my brother and I.
“Because where I come from, family means something.” I take a step back from West, but keep my gaze on his. “You can be pissed at me all you want, but we are family, and that means something to me.
“What do you even know about family?” West sneers, but there’s a curious lilt to his voice, which is the only reason I don’t fucking punch him.
“I lost the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister, and not long after, my brothers. I’ve been mourning their loss every day for years, so don’t tell me I don’t know anything about family.” The words are nothing more than a furious snarl, and I’m practically shouting by the time I’m done.
It shouldn’t be this fucking difficult. After feeling alone for so long, I just wanted the opportunity to get to know West, to maybe find somewhere I belong. Since we have the same blood running through our veins, I wondered if he felt as lost and confused in this world as I do, but it’s obvious he doesn’t. Unlike me, he’s managed to hold on to the family he built around him, and he’s made it painfully clear he’s not looking to add to it—not in the form of a brother anyway.
Yet, the thought to cut and run, and leave him to stew in this fucked up shit, never once cross my mind. Maybe it’s because I know I’d be leaving Hadley too, or maybe it’s the urge to protect West, no matter how big of an asshole he might be to me. He might not want me as a brother, but in my heart, he’s always been mine, so regardless of whether or not he wants me here, I’m fucking staying.
The sound of the front door banging open has all of us turning to face the intruder, everyone on alert and ready to jump into action.
My eyes widen as I take in all nearly six feet of Hadley standing in the doorway, glowering at Hawk and the guys. She’s changed out of her dress, into a pair of short shorts and a loose t-shirt. Her hair is piled up on top of her head, with loose strands already falling out of it. She shouldn’t look intimidating, but with the dark look on her face and the glint in her eye that is intended to deter anyone who so much as thinks of crossing her, she’s pretty fucking scary looking. Why do I find that such a fucking turn on?
Her abrupt and unexpected appearance breaks the tension in the air and thankfully stops any of these dickheads from asking me any more personal questions.
“What the—” Cam murmurs, looking at her with hearts in his eyes. Pathetic sap. I give him a week before he realizes he can never just be friends with her and makes his move.
“What are you doing here?” Hawk barks.
“I saw Beck coming this way, and I know what you four idiots are like, always sticking together and ganging up on everyone. I figured if you were at least going to give him a hard time for not telling you we left, the least I could do is be here so he has someone on his side.”
“We weren’t—” Mason begins, earning a raised eyebrow from Hadley.
“How did you even get in here?” Hawk demands, ignoring her little speech. I have to say though, it feels kinda good that she came to back me up. Not that I give a shit what these assholes have to say, but still, it’s been a long time since I had anyone in my corner.
She shrugs, giving him a quizzical look. “Who doesn’t know how to pick a lock these days?”
Hawk grumbles under his breath, something about normal people not knowing how to do half the shit she can, but he’s got no idea just how far from normal Hadley really is. She’s exceptional.
Rolling her eyes, she slams the door shut behind her, stalking across the space toward us with all the attitude in the world.
“Well, I guess since we’re all here, we, uh, have some news,” Hawk declares, looking reluctant to broach whatever he needs to discuss as he moves the conversation on to a new topic—thank fuck. He’s rubbing the back of his neck and looking anywhere but at Hadley, his behavior making me nervous. What the fuck could he have to tell us?
Glancing at the other three, they look equally uncomfortable.
I feel Hadley’s arm lightly brush against mine in a silent act of reassurance, likely having also picked up on the sudden tension in the room.
“Our parents want us to continue with the girl of the month tradition,” Hawk blurts out quickly, similar to ripping off a Band-aid.
Hadley opens her mouth to protest, but Hawk speaks again before she can say anything.
“And they’ve insisted you take part as well.”
Eh, what now? There’s no way Hadley’s about to publicly date some rich pompous fucker with a permanent hard-on. Hell no. Based on the various lo
oks of disgust and anger on the other guys' faces, they agree.
There’s a moment of silence while everyone waits with bated breaths—like the silence before the storm. You know shit’s about to hit the fan, but you can’t do anything but wait for it to come.
“What?” The word is a sharp snap, but her voice sounds a tad higher than normal. “You’ll have to repeat that. I’m certain I heard you wrong, ‘cause there is no fucking way I’m going to stand up and pick one of those sorry sacks of shit to ‘fake date.’”
She looks completely revolted by the idea as she uses her fingers to make air quotes.
“We don’t like the idea either,” Mason assuages, “but they’ve already threatened West’s life if we don’t do as they say.”
“Yeah, but that’s for the business, right?” Hadley’s eyes jump between the four of them. “They wouldn’t kill him just because you refuse to date some girl at school.”
The guys all look at one another, a silent communication occurring between them that neither I nor Hadley are privy to.
“Honestly, we don’t know.” Hawk sighs, running his hand through his short blond hair in irritation, mussing it up.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” West musses, his brows furrowed in thought. “And I don’t think they would. I’m their only bargaining chip. If they offed me, there wouldn’t be anyone else to threaten all of you with.”
“Maybe so, but that sounds like too big a risk to take.” As much as I don’t want Hadley having to act like a piece of arm candy to some rich prick, or see her upset at having to watch the guys do the same, I equally don’t want West to end up hurt or dead just because they decide to push the boundaries of what they can and cannot get away with.
“It’s your decision, man,” Mason says to West. “It’s your life that’s at stake. We’ll all do whatever you want.”
Hawk and Hadley both nod their heads in agreement, the movement strangely synced and oddly similar in a freaky twin moment.
West’s gaze focuses on Hadley, the two of them sharing some sort of moment before he reaches his hand out for her to take. Slipping her hand into his, he tugs her toward him so she’s standing right in front of him.
“Fuck them,” he states confidently, his eyes never leaving Hadley’s face. “Let’s run the school our way.”
It takes a second, her eyes jumping back and forth between his, as though she’s checking if he’s sure about his decision, but she must see the resolve in his eyes as a bright grin splits her face. His decision to go against our parents worries me. I have no idea what they might do in retaliation, but I can understand that none of them feel able to continue doing our parents’ bidding with this whole stupid tradition. Especially if Hadley is now going to be involved.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gives him a quick kiss before he spins her around in his arms, her back flush to his chest, his hands resting possessively on her hip and abdomen.
“Alright then,” Hawk agrees. “Fuck them.”
Chapter 6
“No.” I shake my head, adamant I’m not letting Hawk browbeat me into doing what he wants. “I am not sitting at your table.”
Hawk glowers at me, like I’m deliberately being difficult. “You have to.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” I bite back.
“We have to present a united front. If everyone sees that we have accepted you into the fold, they will treat you with the same fear and respect they treat us.”
“I don’t care what any of those rich assholes have to say about me.”
Hawk throws his hands up in exasperation. “You have no idea what it’s going to be like. You’re basically living every girl's fantasy right now, and the guys are going to be all over you, hoping you might be their meal ticket.”
I scrunch my nose up, but Hawk’s words don’t scare me.
“I can handle myself. I did kill a mercenary after all,” I snark with a devilish grin, making him roll his eyes.
“Yeah, by accident.”
The smirk drops off my face, quickly replaced with a lethal glower as my hands clench into fists and I hold back the urge to show him exactly what I’m capable of. It was no fucking accident—just like the other mercenary I killed.
“Have you forgotten I beat your ass without much effort.” My voice is sickly sweet and I top it off with a deadly grin, making him scowl, not liking the reminder. Well, tough shit. It’s something I’ll happily hold over his head and taunt him with when he’s being an asshole, which is pretty much all the time.
“It’s the Princes’ table,” I argue. “Meaning it’s only for boys. Obviously, no previous daughters of the founding families have been forced to sit there.”
“That’s because no daughters have ever come to Pac,” he retorts.
“What?” I gape, surprised. “Why? Where do they go?”
“Some finishing school for girls.” He shrugs. “Mason could tell you. His sister is at one.”
“His what?” My head is spinning with all this new information. “Mason has a sister?”
“Yeah. She’s a couple of years younger than us. I haven’t seen her since we were kids. I’m pretty sure Mason’s only seen her a handful of times.”
“Doesn’t she come home for the holidays?”
“Maybe for a bit over the summer.”
What the hell? I have so many questions, but it’s clear from Hawk’s vague responses that he’s not going to be able to give me any actual answers.
“Are you going to be picking a girl this month?” I ask, moving on to a different topic. I know we discussed this last night, but there’s really no reason for him—or Cam technically, but my stomach churns violently when I think about that—to not pick someone, and at least keep their parents happy. However, if he thinks I’m about to sit at that table and watch him make out with some tramp while I try to eat my breakfast, he’s got another thing coming. It was nauseating enough having to witness it from across the hall.
“What do you mean?”
“I know Mason and West agreed to not pick girls any more, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pick someone.”
“None of us will be picking girls.” He must see the look of surprise on my face as he explains, “We stand together. If one of us decides something, we all go along with it.”
“I thought that just applied to bullying,” I snide.
Yeah, I’m still a little pissy over that.
I don’t understand that level of loyalty; of just blindly following someone else's orders because you have such a tight bond with them. It makes no sense to me. I think it’s beyond stupid how easily the others fell in line with Hawk just because he didn’t like me. What the fuck was all of that about anyway?
He rolls his eyes. “It applies to everything. That’s what loyalty is.”
“Loyalty is all of you being total dicks because you decided for no reason you didn’t like me?”
I can feel my blood heating at the reminders of what assholes they all were—Hawk refusing to give me a bottle of water, the others not standing up to him or telling him what an asshat he was being, the stupid fucking video he and Cam emailed to everyone, the grapefruit.
“It’s having one another’s backs,” he retorts. “It’s understanding that, no matter what, someone is always going to be on your side—even if you’re wrong. It’s knowing that you’re not alone. When you grow up not being able to trust anyone, knowing you have three people who will support you in anything you decide…it makes life bearable.”
A heavy silence falls between us, threaded with tension, but underneath it, there’s a slither of similarity. We both grew up not being able to trust the people around us. Not knowing who we could rely on and who would only use us for their own gain. The difference is, Hawk never had to survive any of it on his own.
“I wouldn’t know.” There’s a heaviness in my voice as I wonder how different things might have been. “I didn’t have anyone I could trust.”
The anger b
leeds out of his face, the tight lines smoothing until he’s looking at me softly. What looks like regret flashes across his eyes, but it disappears so quickly I’m left wondering if I imagined it. It’s most likely I only saw what I wanted to see.
He sighs as he steps toward me, closing the distance between us. “I know I was an ass to you.” Understatement of the year. “But things are different now.”
“Because I’m your sister,” I say, spelling it out. The thing is, I don’t want things to be different just because I’m related to him. Maybe it’s stupid, but I want him to actually like me. To want to be friends with me. I don’t want him to just put up with me because we share the same DNA, and the guys have forced him into it.
“I guess you’re kinda growing on me,” he grumbles with a small, barely there smile lifting one side of his lips. “Like unwanted mold.”
I snort, breaking the tension between the two of us, before his expression sobers once again.
“I’m serious though. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through life alone, but that’s not the case anymore. Whatever happens between you and the guys, I’ll still be here for you.”
Well, fuck me, this grumpy brother of mine might just have a heart after all.
***
“So,” I begin hesitantly, gnawing on my bottom lip. It’s early evening and I’m curled up on Emilia’s bed with her. She’s been nagging at me all day to catch her up on the events at the party last night. Having just spilled all the very unexciting details, I’m now trying to broach the subject of me sitting at the Princes’ table.