by Karen Baney
“Auntie Marcy!” The little girl cried out in excitement.
Niki stiffened, smile slipping from her lips as she dropped her arms to her side. Auntie?
“About our last call,” Kyle started, blocking her view of the child with his body. A pained expression replaced his former dashing grin. “I don’t know exactly when we lost the connection, so I’m not sure how much you heard.”
He reached for her hands as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “Then again, I wasn’t sure if you might have hung up on me.”
“I wouldn’t do that.” The words came out flatly, almost unconvincingly.
“So, did you catch any of what I said about Alana?” he asked, searching her eyes for something. Niki looked away, shaking her head.
The little girl squealed, “Daddy!”
Then she ran towards Kyle, dark brown curls bobbing with each step. Niki’s stomach hit the floor in perfect synchronization with Kyle’s bended knee.
“Hey, baby girl,” he greeted the little girl wrapping her in a big hug.
The girl giggled as Kyle rocked her back and forth in an animated fashion. As he stood, the girl’s bright blue eyes looked up, meeting Niki’s—eyes identical to Kyle’s.
Niki felt the blood rush from her face. Though she heard every word spoken, everything sounded muffled by the pounding of her heart. Was this his secret?
Surely the question had been written across her face as she looked to him for answers. Swallowing hard, she waited.
“Niki, I would like you to meet Alana, my daughter.”
Air rushed from her lungs in a nervous laugh. Some secret. He has a daughter. She tried to gather her wits but failed. Her voice came out stiff and unwelcoming when she spoke. “Nice to meet you, Alana.”
“You didn’t tell her!” Marcy was at Niki’s side wagging a finger in Kyle’s face.
“I tried.”
“Tried? You’re an idiot, Kyle,” Marcy said, anger shading her tone. “You don’t just try. You make sure you do.”
A feminine sounding throat clearing drew the foursome’s attention toward the slender dark haired beauty now standing behind Alana. She rested a gentle hand on Alana’s shoulder.
“Niki,” Kyle said, “This is Kelly, Alana’s mother.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Kelly said extending her hand towards Niki. “Kyle has told us so much about you.”
Niki snorted, unable to maintain complete control.
Funny. He completely forgot to mention he slept with you. Oh, and that a child came from your night of passion!
Swallowing down her anger, she shook Kelly’s hand and managed something polite before running out the door for some fresh air.
Kyle had a daughter with a stunning woman who could practically be a model. Neither of which he’d ever mentioned.
Did he still have feelings for this woman? And when had he managed to tell Kelly “all about” Niki? If he really claimed to love her, why hadn’t he told her this before? Why was she finding out at Marcy’s rehearsal?
She sank down on the concrete sidewalk, resting her head on her propped up knees. Stunned. Blindsided. Disappointed. Afraid.
If you love someone, you don’t keep secrets! She wanted to scream. She wanted to run, flee, and never come back. But, she couldn’t. In a few minutes, she would paste a smile on her face and fulfill her duties as maid of honor for her best friend, no matter how stupid her best friend’s brother was.
A body sat down next to her and placed an arm around her shoulders. The scent of Kyle’s cologne provided the only confirmation she needed before she lifted her head and launched into him.
“Really, Kyle? Just when exactly did you think it might be important to tell your girlfriend that you had a kid? Like maybe when you gave me the third degree about how many kids I want? ‘Gee, Niki, I think it’s great that you want twelve, but just got to let you know, it’ll really be a baker’s dozen, cause I’ve already got one?’”
She could see he was trying not to smile at her quip. She scooted away from his arm.
“Look, I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. And I will tell you the whole story. Just not now.”
“Do you still love her?”
“Who?”
“Kelly?”
He shook his head. “It was never like that. You’ve got nothing to worry about. My heart is yours and yours alone.”
She was mad. Mad. Mad. Mad. How dare he come in here after months away, drop a bomb on her like this and then expect to smooth everything over with sentimental sweet talk.
“You’ve got one thing right,” Niki said, standing. “This discussion is far from over. And far from fixed.” She stormed back inside, fully aware that they needed to get on with the rehearsal.
Taking a deep breath, Niki pasted a fake, lifeless smile on her face.
Marcy saw through it. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m fine. Peachy even. Sorry for the delay.”
Marcy’s concern didn’t fade immediately, but as the pastor began explaining how the big day would unfold, her face glowed. The pastor had the men stand at the front stage and instructed the women to go to the back, so they could practice the entrance.
Niki was the first to enter. She kept her eyes straight ahead. At least she tried to. Then they drifted to Kyle. He smiled at her, almost as if she were walking down the aisle for him. She forced her eyes back to the pastor.
“You should try not to smile so much,” Joe teased as she passed the front pew.
Tori followed next.
Then Alana came down the aisle, holding her mother’s hand. Kelly’s soft voice echoed in the empty space as she explained to Alana that she’d have to do this on her own tomorrow. “Just remember, sweetie, walk towards Daddy until you get to the front row. Then go stand by Miss Tori. That’s right.”
Once Alana was in place, Marcy’s dad led her to the front. Niki’s smile turned genuine at the sight of her friend in cutoff jean shorts and fitted pink t-shirt walking down the aisle. Tissues. She had to find a discrete way to hide some tissues tomorrow.
The pastor explained what he would say and when Rick was supposed to step back. Then he walked Marcy and Chad through the highlights of their vows and the exchanging of their rings. When he told them this was where he would announce them to their guests, Chad grinned.
“Is this where I get to kiss her?”
Marcy playfully swatted at him.
“What? I want some practice.” And practice he did. He pulled Marcy to him and gave her a very chaste kiss on the lips.
“Mommy!” Alana shouted. “That man just kissed Auntie Marcy like Derrick kisses you. Does that mean he loves her?”
Niki glanced over at Kelly, whose face turned bright red as everyone else chuckled.
“Yes, sweetie. Chad loves your Auntie very much. That’s why he’s marrying her.”
“Oh. Is Derrick going to marry you?” Alana’s wide eyes and innocent expression endeared her to Niki.
“We’ll talk about that later. Now listen to what the pastor tells you to do.”
Marcy and Chad walked down the aisle together. Then Alana followed, grasping her mother’s hand once she reached the second row. Niki’s smile faded as she stepped toward Kyle, putting her arm in his. Too bad he had to be the best man. She refused to look at him.
As soon as they were at the end of the aisle, she removed her hand from his arm. She moved next to Marcy, trying to find a place to stand that would leave no room for Kyle. As Tori and Matt joined them in the lobby, the pastor asked if they had any questions. Since no one did, Marcy reminded them to all be there at one thirty tomorrow, then made sure they had directions to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner.
Niki grabbed her things and rushed to her car. As she reached for the door handle, Kyle’s hand covered hers. She squealed in shock.
“Please, Niki, can we talk for a few minutes?”
“What is there to talk about? You like to keep secrets. You kept
me in the dark, but you obviously told Kelly all about me. Is that how it works? If so, I’m done.”
She yanked on the handle, trying to open the door. His weight against the door kept it shut tight.
“Please be fair.”
“Fair! I suppose you think what you did was fair?”
He grabbed her forearms. “Let me explain.”
“Let me go,” she said through clenched teeth. “I have a dinner to go to.”
As he dropped his hands to his side, his voice softened to a whisper. “I love you, Niki. I’m sorry I hurt you by not telling you sooner. I know I really messed up.”
She was still angry. No matter how much of her heart she gave to him, she was hurt and humiliated.
“I need to go.”
Kyle backed up from her car. As she slid behind the wheel, he walked towards his motorcycle.
Niki drove to the restaurant in silence, trying to figure out how to hold it together for the next twenty four hours. This dinner was going to be tough. Walking down the aisle on Kyle’s arm would be tough. The reception would be tough.
Once inside the restaurant, she found the table. It was hard to miss the large crowd. Two seats next to each other were the only seats remaining. Niki took the one next to Marcy, leaving the one next to Alana for Kyle.
“We saved you two seats,” Brenda pointed out the obvious. “I figured you and Kyle would want to catch up a bit, with him having been gone so long.”
Had she missed the entire scene with Alana and Kelly?
Niki smiled wanly. “Thanks.”
Kyle entered and took the empty seat next to her. He leaned over, speaking softly in her ear, “Can I have just five minutes, please. Let’s not leave things like this.”
She looked over at Marcy who nodded. “Order me something, Marcy. I’ll be back in a minute.”
He followed her outside. She leaned up against the wall, folding her arms across her chest. When Kyle reached for her, she cut him off with her words.
“You’ve got five minutes. Say your piece.”
Kyle frowned dropping his hands to his side. “Kelly and I were friends in college. Nothing more. Neither of us had any intention of starting a romance, much less… It was our senior year, just after first term finals. We were partying things up pretty good with a bunch of friends. Everyone was pairing off and we found ourselves the odd people out.”
Niki didn’t move. She wasn’t sure she really wanted to hear this.
“We both had a lot to drink. I made the first move and I convinced her to let me come to her dorm room.”
Niki tapped her foot.
“The point is… That night, we let things go way too far. The result was an uncomfortable discussion a few weeks later and Alana nine months later.
“I told Kelly if she wanted to keep the baby, I would do the honorable thing and pay child support, but I had no place for a kid in my life. I was pretty harsh. But, I didn’t know what to do. I was off to flight training before Alana was even born.
“And, for the first four years of her life, Alana never met me. After some convincing from Mom and Marcy, I made contact with Kelly. I told her that my family wanted to get to know Alana. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or not. It didn’t matter because I got shipped off to Iraq before ever meeting her.
“Then, after the accident, I knew that I needed to step up and be a father to my daughter. I needed to do the right thing. So, as soon as I was well enough, I went to visit Alana. And she captured my heart.
“Kelly and I made a terrible mistake. But, Alana is so precious. It makes it hard to reconcile anything in my mind. We should have been more responsible. But we weren’t and Alana shouldn’t have to pay for it.
“So, Niki, that’s it. The truth. I was a jerk to my own daughter. I was selfish. And I missed out.”
Niki didn’t move.
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you all this sooner.”
“And you never once thought to marry Kelly?”
“Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right. Kelly and I are friends. She’s my daughter’s mother. Nothing more.”
“That’s pretty cold.”
“What do you want me to say? Would you feel better if I pined after her all these years? Or that we had married then divorced? None of which is true. What do you want, Niki?”
She wanted him to hurt. It was petty, maybe even childish. She wasn’t upset that he had a daughter. Only that he kept it a secret.
“How many other secrets do you have? Am I going to find out three months from now that you have son, too? A string of lovers strewn across the country? What?”
“Really? You want to go there right now? Do you want the number of women I’ve been with? Would that make you feel better?”
Kyle stood in front of her, staring her down.
“Can’t you see that none of that matters? I love you, Niki. With all of my heart. The past is just that—the past. I can’t change any of it. Neither can you. These last months apart from you have been torture. Please don’t shut me out because I made a mistake.”
She dropped her arms to her side then started to move towards the door.
“Niki,” Kyle grabbed her arm, “please—”
“Time’s up,” she said shaking her arm free. “Tonight and tomorrow are about Marcy. Don’t mess that up, too.”
She turned and headed back into the restaurant, leaving him at the door. A little prick of guilt invaded her conscience. Perhaps she was being unfair.
She pushed the thought aside quickly, focusing instead on getting through the next day.
She took her seat next to Marcy and listened to the conversation around her. Kyle returned and took the seat beside her, giving Alana all of his attention. She couldn’t help but overhear bits and pieces of their conversation. Kyle asked her what the kids at school thought about her cast. Then he asked if she was happy to have it off. Alana babbled happily, obviously starving for attention from her dad.
When Alana stopped talking, Niki glanced over and saw her curled up in Kyle’s lap, her head resting against his chest. Her eyes were closed in sleep.
“I better get her back to the hotel,” Kelly said softly, reaching for Alana.
“I’ll carry her,” he said, standing slowly. “See you tomorrow, sis, Niki.” She watched as he followed Kelly to the front.
Niki’s awkwardness vanished with his retreating form. Sad emptiness replaced it.
Others around the table said their farewells. Niki left Marcy with Chad, knowing she would see her at home in a few minutes. Once at her car, she drove home.
As she pulled into the garage and turned off her car, the image of Kyle with Alana in his arms played over in her mind. Him, Kelly, Alana. On the surface, they looked like a happy family—one that belonged together.
She swallowed back her tears as she flipped on the hallway light. She dropped her purse on the counter before retrieving the box of scrapbooks from her room. Tonight was her last night with her roommate and friend. Eight years they’d roomed together. Eight years of memories.
Just as she set the box on the coffee table, she heard the garage door open, then close. Marcy bounded in, bright smile on her face.
“I can hardly wait for tomorrow,” Marcy said.
I can. She dreaded the day she would lose her friend. Okay, she wasn’t really dreading that. More like facing Kyle again.
Marcy plopped down on the couch beside Niki. “Before we walk down memory lane, I need to know something.”
“What?”
“How long are you going to make Kyle suffer for not telling you about Alana? I know it was a shock, but the way you two were acting at dinner, I got the feeling you’re considering breaking up with him.”
Leave it to her best friend to see the situation clearly.
“Marcy—”
“Listen. I’ve known you a long time. I’ve seen you date a few guys and I’ve seen you isolate yourself. You’re different with Kyle. You light up. You’re happy. You missed h
im while he was gone. When you first saw him at the church tonight, you were ecstatic.
“Don’t get me wrong. What he did was stupid. He should have told you sooner—and definitely before tonight. I think if he had, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. So, what do you say? Are you going to forgive him and give him a second chance?”
Niki avoided looking at Marcy. “I don’t know.”
Neither spoke for a few minutes. She was pretty sure Marcy was waiting for her to say something more. She had nothing else to say about Kyle right now. She would see how tomorrow went.
Picking up her scrapbook from their college days, she flipped it open. Laughing she said, “Look at you! Pigtails? What was that about?”
With that introduction, the two best friends reminisced well into the night about their days together. They laughed at the funny pictures. They tried to remember names of old boyfriends, wondering why they kept those pictures anyway. They teased each other about silly secrets they shared. Then they hugged good night, satisfied with the end of this chapter of their friendship, looking forward to the next chapter.
Chapter 39
The next morning dawned. Even though she slept in a little this morning, Niki dragged her feet to the kitchen. Staying up until one sounded like a good idea last night. Starting a pot of coffee, she stood there and waited, unwilling to move until it brewed enough for her to steal a cup. The aroma brought a bleary eyed Marcy to the kitchen.
Marcy stretched as she yawned. “I can’t believe we stayed up so late.”
Niki glanced at the microwave clock. “We need to get going.” She poured each of them a mug of the rejuvenating liquid.
Twenty minutes later, the two friends loaded Marcy’s wedding dress, Niki’s gown, and a small suitcase of Marcy’s things into Niki’s car. Tori waited eagerly for them at the entrance to the salon. Tori went first, her shoulder length hair a bit easier to deal with than Niki’s almost waist length hair.
When Niki’s turn came to sit in the chair, she let her mind wander as the stylist dried and curled and pinned and sprayed her hair. Maybe she was being too hard on Kyle. She really should forgive him. Why was she so hesitant to do so?