by M. F. Lorson
I spotted Sydney first. She was perched on the steps of the library her hands buried deep into the pockets of her fur lined black winter coat. I was cold and I was running. She had to be freezing sitting there like that. For her sake I hoped the late curfew would come fast. I continued past the library, past Luke outside of Barrack B and was rounding the corner of the art building when I saw Wanda and Hayden. He had his arm around her and they were chatting with ease. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but by the smile on her face I knew that Hayden was working his charm. I didn’t want him to see me out running. He seemed to think I needed protection and the last thing I wanted was for him to stay out past curfew. To have my closest friend expelled would be soul crushing. Not to mention that if Hayden so much as glanced my way in front of Wanda I was pretty sure I would be getting an extra fast pass to the top of her hit list. So instead of keeping to the light like I promised, I ducked behind the art building and hurried through the pitch black parking lot. Once I passed the science building I would be in a well lit area again. I would be back there for two minutes top but if I were to scream and holler no one would hear me. Sydney was all the way across campus and I hadn’t seen Jordan at all yet. I picked up my pace. The ground was silent behind me. Relief washed over me as I caught my first glimpse of light. I ran toward it hard, intending to stop, catch my breath and then set my watch for the first real lap. Only when I reached the streetlamp I was no longer alone. Somewhere between the darkened parking lot and the lit path Jordan had fallen in line beside me. He said nothing but continued to run directly parallel to me. He was faster than me, much faster so if he was running at my pace it was intentional. Maybe I thought, if I kept moving he would cut off in another direction. But he didn’t. I made a full lap around the lit corridor and he stayed with me the entire time. When I sped up he sped up. When I slowed down he slowed down and still he said nothing. I looked to Sydney as we passed the library for the third time. She was watching us now with interest. She didn’t look as if she perceived me to be in danger but then again she hadn’t talked to me since that morning at the coffee stand. Maybe she thought I was a liar or maybe she wasn’t able to see Jordan as a threat so she ignored the conversation all together. She was either too close to Jordan or she just plain didn’t get involved with students. Either way she was a disappointment. I wanted her to be a mentor. I could handle the strong and silent type, I even preferred it, but when I came to her this morning she should have given me something to go on. She should have insisted I stay and listen to all the reasons that Jordan couldn’t have done it or at least offered to look into it for me. I was angry and scared and the combination made me run faster than I had ever run in my life. I was panting so hard I thought my lungs would explode. But it didn’t matter. Jordan didn’t even look like he was breaking a sweat. I couldn’t keep it up any longer. I had to stop. Maybe he was running beside me just for the sport of it , maybe he would run right past as if I’d never been there. The way he had last night. It was unlikely considering how long he had been shadowing me. But the maybe kept my nerves at bay. I pulled to a quick stop, pain shooting down my knee from stopping so short. I was gasping for air, bent over with my hands pressed to my knees. It was a pretty vulnerable position to be in. I knew it. He knew it but unless he was an idiot he wouldn’t try anything. Not a hundred feet from me I could see Luke leaning against the wall of barrack B. Jordan didn’t slam to a halt the way I did. Instead he steadily slowed himself passing me initially but circling back. He was standing in front of me now, waiting.
From where I was hunched I could only see him from the waist down. His hands were on his hips and I knew he was waiting for me to look up. But lord almighty I did not want to look him in the eye. I had had nearly zero interaction with him in the last month and this morning I’d gone to one of his only friends on campus and accused him of attempted assault. It was very clear to me now what a stupid decision that had been. Sydney had no reason to believe me and every reason to tell him. I probably did more damage than good. If he was Wanda’s attacker he now knew to lay low. “Kate?”
“Yes” I squeaked out, still paying unwavering attention to the sidewalk.
“Are you going to come up from that position or am I going to have to carry you down to the nurse's office?” He didn’t sound pissed off, that was a good sign. Unexpected, but good.
“Just catching my breath.” I said. It was only partially a lie. I did still feel a tiny bit like I was going to die. Trying to out run Jordan had turned out to e a hell of a lot more challenging than any speed work I would have done on my own. Running from a maybe wannabe rapist pushed me harder than I had been pushed before but if that’s what it took to gain acceptance at Huntley and Drake I would happily go home instead.
“So Kate,” He paused for emphasis “I had an interesting conversation with Sydney this afternoon.” That little balloon of hope I had that Sydney had not told him about our conversation had just been popped. “Apparently you and her had a talk of your own this morning.” The tone of his voice made me sick to my stomach. It was all I could do not to vomit all over the sidewalk directly in front of him. Seconds ago I had thought by some miracle of God that this conversation wasn’t going to end this way. Now I knew very well what was ahead of me and I was terrified.
“I don’t really know what to say.” I said trying to keep the tremble out of my voice. I knew I was safe for the moment but what about tomorrow and the next day? What about every day after? Was I now going to be the one that needed Hayden’s escort everywhere I went? Jordan rested his hand lightly on my shoulder. I jerked backward with such force I nearly knocked myself over. Jordan took a step back himself.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you just then. I didn’t think about it, you know how you would think about it. This isn’t coming out well. What I mean is I didn’t mean to freak you out. I shouldn’t have phrased things so cryptically or ran with you like that.” He was talking fast now, obviously he was flustered but none of it was making sense to me. “I was intending to talk to you right away but I had no idea what to say so I just kept following you, which in retrospect was probably the stalkeriest thing I could have done. You’re clearly terrified of me enough as it is. I just wanted a chance to explain myself. That’s all.” There was no hint of intimidation in his voice. In fact he sounded kind, kinder than I’d ever heard him before which only confused me more. I didn’t want to be that girl who cries but I couldn’t stop myself. It was all too much. There were tears welling up behind my eyelids and I wasn’t going to fight them. I had prepared myself for a lot of things before coming here but truth was I didn’t know how to handle any of it. I was socially inept before I came, that was bad enough but now I was stuck in a place where everyone was someone your parents didn’t want you hanging out with. I didn’t know who to trust and so far every choice I had made had been bad. I had no clue who to go to when things went wrong. If I was in danger who was I supposed to go to? I assumed Sydney, but look where that got me and it wasn’t just the people stuff that wasn’t working. I was failing out. I couldn’t get the math and I was barely keeping my head above water in my other courses. I was standing there in the courtyard with a guy who may or may not have attacked a girl in this same area last night and I couldn’t stop crying over the million stupid small things long enough to deal with the huge thing in front of me.
Jordan was pacing back and forth now. His hands tucked into the pockets of his running pants. Now would be an excellent time for him to just shut up and walk away but instead he kept talking.
“I know why you’re upset and if I were you I probably would have thought the exact same thing. I’m not mad. If you were worried about that. You probably weren’t worried about that. I’m sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.” Nervous, what did he think I was going to do? I’d already reported to the highest authority I knew. It was my word against his. It wasn’t like I was going to try and tell the dean that the guy he handpicked to be a mentor was actual
ly the exact type of person this school was supposed to eliminate. “Here is what I am going to do. I’m just gonna start telling you my story and if you don’t want to hear it you can leave. If you’re afraid to turn your back on me I’ll have Luke walk you home. All you would have to do is walk over to Luke and I’d know. I won’t get any closer to you I swear to God.” I didn’t know how to respond. A part of me wanted him to have a story worth hearing. Another part of me still wanted to vomit on his shoes. I decided to hear him out. If his story wasn’t convincing I could have Luke walk me home. If it was convincing it would vindicate Jordan and also possibly restore my faith in Sydney.
“I’m listening”
“Good, great actually….where to start. First off, I don’t run every night. It’s not my thing like it is yours.” I was surprised to hear him say that anything was my thing. Aside from last night I hadn’t thought I was even on his radar. “But I am good at it and it’s my “Contribution” so I have to keep it up which is why I was running last night. I’d had a shitty day. The guys in my barracks are driving me crazy. They fight over everything and it’s not just verbal banter but actual fist to cuff sort of stuff. I got tired of babysitting so I went out to run. I was passing the art building when I heard a weird noise. Like a yelp or something, a really weird wounded animal kind of sound. I looked for the source of the noise and that’s when I saw the two of them. Wanda was on the ground, half in the bushes and half on the pavement. She had to have just gone down because she wasn’t unconscious just woozy. I saw a guy in a ski mask and I took off after him. He was faster than me which is incredible because in case you haven’t noticed I’m really…I’m really good at being fast. This guy wasn’t a nobody. He knew the campus exceptionally well because he chose to duck behind the science building. There aren’t any streetlights back there so with his all black getup he faded into the dark easily. I couldn’t see him but I could still hear him so I was following the sound of his footsteps. I chased him out of the dark and into the streetlight only when he hit the light it wasn’t him anymore, it was you.” His eyes were pleading now. His sincerity unmistakable. “You see Kate he must have hid in the dark. He could have gone into the science wing or down the alley between the buildings. I don’t know where he went but he knew you were there and he used it. I didn’t notice my mistake until you whipped around on me like that. I should have stopped and talked to you but I had too much adrenaline going. I thought maybe I missed him and he had kept going so I circled campus and eventually sent Sydney back to help Wanda. That’s my story. It’s long and it’s crazy and I understand if you don’t believe me but I swear to God Kate that’s what happened. I’m not in here for that kind of crime. I know I’m not that charming but it’s helpful to be a jerk here, to get things done. I can get a girlfriend, I don’t need to hit anybody over the head Kate.”
I knew it wasn’t terribly smart to do so, but I believed him. I’d seen him in the library and I’d seen him that first day at orientation. He was never a very verbose leader. I didn’t think he was capable of lying with that many words. He had to be telling the truth and that’s why Sydney talked to him. She wanted him to clear things up himself. Because nothing she could have said to reassure me could have possibly been as compelling as the honesty in that long winded excessively nervous explanation. She had been friends with him long enough to have known that. I was finally able to look him in the eye.
“I believe you. And I’m sorry I didn’t just ask you about it in the first place.” The relief on his face was instant.
“If I were you I wouldn’t have approached me either. I would have avoided me at all cost.”
“I tried”
“Then why did you come out here to run? You knew that I would be on duty.” It was a valid question and maybe if I told him about my plan for the judges he would offer to help.
“I’m going to run for the judges. I haven’t got anything else to show them. I needed the practice. As much practice as I can get.” He thought about this for a moment.
“Have you ever run for a team before? Like the track team at your school?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean I can’t do that here.” I was annoyed. So what if I had never run for a team before? Running as a part of a team didn’t make you faster. I wasn’t intending to do relays.
“I’m not asking to be a jackass Kate. I’m asking because they are going to ask you. They will want to know how your running is a “contribution”. You have to be prepared to answer.”
“What did you say when they asked you?”
“You can’t say what I said, it didn’t work. “ Now I was curious.
“What did you say!”
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll help you prepare for the judges and if you make it I’ll tell you what incredibly stupid thing I said.” I was intrigued. Besides before I found out about Wanda, Jordan training me was exactly what I had wanted.
“It’s a deal. But what do you get out of it?”Jordan laughed, “I know it’s hard to believe here. But not everybody wants something from you. I want to help you. That's all. Besides it's good practice for me too. You never know, some hotshot freshman could knock me off the track team if I’m not careful.”
Chapter 9
It was time to take things up a notch in essentially any and every way possible. With Jordan’s help I was gonna get to the next level running wise but academically I was in serious need of reform. Math wasn’t gonna happen. I knew that. I’d keep meeting with Hayden and I’d try and pay more attention but the most I could hope to achieve in that class was a C. I needed to zone in on my other classes. If I could nail them math wasn’t gonna sink me. The key was focus. I’d been distracted for the last two days but that was behind me now. Wanda’s attacker was still out there but now that everyone knew that he wasn’t likely to pull anything anytime soon. I wasn’t going to challenge him either. No more running down dark corridors for me. If I saw Wanda and Hayden getting mushy on the way back from art I would just have to suck it up and deal with it. Besides, considering Hayden and Jordan’s not so intimate relationship odds are we wouldn’t be taking that route anyway.
From now on I was taking up residency in the library. First on my agenda was that damn sociology project. I had done literally nothing since drawing my term out of the bucket. Time was running out. I had three weeks to write my paper and come up with a mind blowing speech. Since I was about as good at research as I was the quadratic equation I didn’t waste any time slogging through the internet on my own. I went straight to the reference desk. The librarian was a man in his early thirties. He wasn’t wearing glasses or a cardigan which unnerved me. Weren’t librarians supposed to be painfully serious people?
“I need help finding some info for an assignment.” The man looked up from his computer screen. He was playing one of those massive multiplayer online games where there is always a loaded weapon in the forefront. Doubt was creeping in.
“Who’s your teacher and what period do you have them?” This didn’t seem particularly relevant but I answered anyway.
“I have Mrs. Wright for fifth period.” The librarian, Bill according to his name tag moved his finger down a list of names and numbers taped to the side of his desk.
“So it’s for Soc 1 then?” I nodded yes. “Do you have your assignment sheet with you?” I cringed.
“Yeah, I uh didn’t realize I would need it. It’s a pretty simple assignment.” Bill rolled his eyes.
“I can look it up for you.”
“If it’s too much trouble it’s not really necessary….” Bill cut me off mid-sentence.
“Oh trust me, it’s necessary if you want an A. Mrs.Wright is incredibly specific. I should know I took her class fifteen years ago. Not much has changed.” The way he said it implied that he had earned a less than stellar grade himself.
“If you think it will help” I said.
“It will. You’re doing the speech, on a random sociology term assignment right?”
“Y
ep” I wondered if Mrs. Wright had really been giving the same assignment for fifteen years.
“What’s your term?” I pulled the tiny scrap a paper from my back pocket. “Deviance” Bill smiled, pausing from his search for the assignment sheet.
“You struck gold on that one.”
“How so?” I hadn’t exactly given it a great deal of thought yet.
“Consider where you are. Deviance won’t exactly be difficult for your peers to relate to.” He had a point. “I can’t find an extra copy of that assignment sheet. I’ll have to print out a new one but for now I am going to get you started by pointing out a few good resources.” With that he showed me how to use my student ID card to log on to some databases. I’d never heard of a database before but the way he explained it, it was basically a search engine that dealt only with the subject you were looking for. So in my case I searched through a database made specifically for sociology students and professionals. He also showed me an encyclopedia of sociology that I could use as a reference. According to Bill, Mrs Wright always required one book source, which I could see for myself if I looked closer at the assignment sheet. With the encyclopedia I had the book source covered. All I had to do was copy the definition of deviance from the book and work it into my speech somewhere. Bill turned out to be my hero of the day. “I’d like to help you more” he said “But I’ve got a raid in twenty minutes.”