“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate asked. “I didn’t mean to stick you with Brady for so long.”
“He’s fine. In fact, he’s adorable.” Mary Beth looked embarrassed by her outburst. “As for dreams, I’m living mine. It may not be quite how I’d pictured it, but I feel very lucky. And I think it’s wonderful that you’re going to be a nurse.”
“Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Kate admitted.
She, too, felt lucky, despite the loss of her husband and the challenges that lay ahead. So what if she’d struggled financially these past few years? It was worth every day of standing on her feet and every night of juggling bills when she had such a loving family.
A short while later, she strapped a freshly awakened Brady into the car. Kate’s heart felt full as she kissed the little boy’s soft cheek and felt his arms twine around her.
Like her, Tony would surely rise to the demands of single parenthood. Maybe he hadn’t quite grasped what lay ahead yet, but she intended to help him.
They’d all make it through just fine.
Chapter Three
Tony spent most of Wednesday afternoon preparing for and conducting a workshop about a topic most physicians preferred to avoid: lawsuits. Specifically, how to prevent them.
“Legal experts used to believe the best way to deal with situations where patients suffered harm was to limit or completely cut off communication with their families,” he told a dozen specialists who’d gathered in the small fourth-floor auditorium.
“Why would anyone do that?” Despite being one of the youngest members on staff, neonatologist Jared Sellers never shied away from speaking his mind. “It’s cruel.”
“The latest findings agree with you,” Tony said. “Whether or not the physician was at fault, people look for someone to blame. They’re hurt, they’re suffering and they’re angry. We now know that simply saying ‘I’m terribly sorry’ can defuse some of that anger.”
“But doesn’t that imply that we’re guilty of something?” asked a surgeon. “I can’t save every patient. It’s unrealistic for families to expect that.”
“Good point.” Tony didn’t bother to check his notes; the words simply flowed. “It’s one thing to provide medical information about what happened and express regret. It’s something else to become overly emotional and make statements such as ‘This shouldn’t have happened’ that can be used against you in court.”
“But I feel that way when I lose a baby, even if I’ve done everything I can,” Jared protested.
“It’s natural to second-guess your decisions,” Tony agreed. “But you don’t have to do that in front of the patient’s family. Let’s talk about how we can communicate honestly without incriminating ourselves.”
He continued, mixing information gleaned from a recent legal conference with observations from reading and from his own experience. Tony enjoyed this part of his job far more than paper-shuffling. He didn’t mind that he’d have to repeat the same information at future meetings, since not all staff and consulting doctors could be present at the same time.
Questions kept him longer than he’d intended. He’d had to schedule the gathering for 5:30 p.m. to accommodate the doctors, and it was a few minutes past seven by the time the group broke up.
Tony had grabbed a power bar around 4:00 p.m. That would have to hold him for now.
Childbirth classes were held—ironically, in Tony’s view—in the workout room on the ground floor. He arrived as a stocky woman with silver-touched dark hair was closing the door.
“Ah,” she said. “You must be our missing partner.”
Never mind that he’d been lecturing the doctor-gods of the hospital, he’d just been reduced to the status of lowly truant.
Scooting inside, Tony found all eyes fixed on him. He counted seven couples—well, six couples plus Kate—sitting on mats.
They had to be kidding. Hugely pregnant women on the floor? Not to mention the dads and a few female partners, all sensibly clad in sweat suits, jeans or shorts. Ruefully loosening his tie, Tony conceded that he’d forgotten Kate’s advice about wearing comfortable clothes.
Awkwardly, he folded himself onto the mat beside her. Darned if her face wasn’t bright with amusement.
“What?” he asked in a low voice.
“You made it.”
“Well, sure.”
“I like your idea of casual dress.” She indicated his dark-blue suit, pinstriped shirt and silk tie. “Do you starch and iron your pj’s, too?”
Tony smiled. “Only for pajama parties.”
She grinned back at him. What a delight. If Esther had been sitting here ballooned out and forced to wait alone in a roomful of couples, he’d have been lucky to escape with superficial lacerations.
A voice from the front called them to attention. “Hi, I’m Tina Torres,” announced the stocky woman. “I’m a certified childbirth instructor and I have three children of my own, so I understand what you’re going through. Tonight, we’re going to talk about a range of issues from pain to exercise to nutrition.”
Guiltily, Tony remembered the power bar. But she didn’t mean nutrition for the dads.
He peered at Kate to see how she was reacting to all this, and caught the sparkle of a tear on her cheek. Perhaps she was remembering her previous classes with her husband.
Since other partners had slid an arm around the women they were with to offer support, he did the same. When Kate shot him a startled glance, he nearly withdrew, but then she leaned a little closer. He enjoyed the light pressure on his shoulder, and the sense that he was offering her protection.
The instructor was discussing pain, he discovered when he tuned back in. Tony had expected her to soft-pedal the subject with words such as discomfort and pressure. Not Ms. Torres.
“Lots of things cause pain during labor. For instance, that’s an awfully big baby to come out through an awfully small place.” She pointed to a diagram on the wall.
Tony didn’t like associating that clinical illustration with the soft woman at his side, because thinking about the challenge she faced brought home the fact that he’d put her in this condition. Of her own free will, but nevertheless, men were supposed to take care of women, not subject them to physical near impossibilities.
“Another cause of pain is repeated muscle contractions. Partners, I want you to try something. Those of you who’ve already given birth can skip this part,” Tina added. “Now, make a fist.”
Tony complied. Easy enough.
“Open and close it. Keep doing that. I’ll tell you when to stop.” The instructor regarded her watch.
After a few seconds, he noticed a tight feeling in his hand. Then the muscle started to burn. Since he had a good golf grip, Tony considered his hands fairly strong, but it wasn’t long before pain snaked up his arm.
“Stop,” Tina said. Tony shook out his hand. “That was sixty seconds. Imagine doing that for hours with your whole abdomen.”
He’d rather not.
“Moms, if you’re tense or frightened, it will increase your pain. In these classes, we’re going to work on ways to break the cycle of fear and pain…”
His cell phone rang, echoing in Tony’s ears like a fire alarm. Embarrassed, he flipped it open.
Esther.
“I’ll just be a minute,” he murmured to Kate. She gave a hesitant nod, and Tony hurried from the room.
He supposed he should ignore the call, but given Esther’s work as a prosecutor, he’d always worried about her. Over the years, she’d racked up quite a few hardened criminals as enemies, and long hours meant that she often walked out to her car alone at night.
It was after 10:00 p.m. in D.C. Although she hadn’t had time to score any enemies there, surely she wouldn’t call unless it was urgent.
“Hey,” he answered. “What’s up?”
“I’ve been thinking.” Her calm tone of voice dispelled any concerns. “I want this whole divorce business over as fast as possible, s
o you should put the house on the market. Price it right and we might get a quick sale.”
He couldn’t believe her nerve. “Sell our house? I love that place.”
“Well, it’s half mine, and I want my money.”
Yes, she was entitled to half. But not instantly. “Before or after the Christmas wedding reception you promised to host for your best friend?” Tony retorted sarcastically. “Oh, wait. You already bailed out on her. Matron of honor, weren’t you?”
He hadn’t meant to speak so loudly, or with such sarcasm. Tony surveyed the area to see if anyone had overheard. Nobody lingered in the hallway, but he did catch tantalizing scents from the nearby cafeteria, a reminder of his missed meal.
“There’s no reason to get nasty,” Esther snapped.
He refused to abandon the home where he wanted their daughter to grow up. “I’ll have the house appraised and get a loan to buy out your half. That’s standard in a divorce.”
“Well, do it fast. I need a down payment for a condo of my own,” she whined. “I hate rentals.”
“Ain’t my problem.”
“Elegantly phrased, counselor,” she sniped.
“Bite me. How do you like that phrasing?” About to turn off the phone, he realized he hadn’t broken today’s news. “By the way, we’re having a girl. Not a boy.”
“A girl?”
“Does that make a difference?” He didn’t see why it would, and, frankly, wasn’t sure he wanted it to. Yet despite his anger at his wife’s behavior, Tony conceded that he’d be willing to try again. He and Esther had made commitments to each other and to this child. That mattered more than his hurt feelings, and it ought to matter more than her ambitions.
“Not really,” she said. “I’ll be flying out soon to file divorce papers. Get moving on that loan.”
“Anything for my wife.” Immediately regretting his angry retort, he turned off the phone. While Tony was determined not to become a boor, Esther could try the patience of a saint. The smell of hamburgers grilling and the answering growl of his stomach did nothing to soften his temper, either.
In this mood, he didn’t see how he could go back into class. But he had to get a grip, for Kate’s sake and his daughter’s.
KATE’S CHEEKS burned with embarrassment. Despite the closed door, surely everyone in the room could hear snatches of the one-sided conversation in the hall, a continuing undercurrent to Tina’s teaching. She doubted anyone missed the fact that Tony was arguing with his wife. They probably assumed she and her pregnancy had broken up a marriage.
She was so upset, she missed most of Tina’s advice. By the time silence finally fell in the hall, the class was on hands and knees in the middle of an exercise called pelvic tilts. Luckily, Kate vaguely recalled how to do them from the last time around.
“Kind of reminds me of how I got pregnant in the first place, but that was more fun,” one lady said, to a chorus of laughter.
I didn’t even get the fun part. Kate blushed harder. Thank goodness she hadn’t spoken aloud.
She wished Tony would hurry. In all fairness, though, Quinn had missed one of their classes to go on a motorcycle trip with buddies.
“On your feet, folks. This next exercise is best done with a partner.” As Tina’s voice rang out, Tony reentered.
He nodded apologetically to the instructor and approached Kate with a sheepish expression that soothed her annoyance. When he held out his hands, she took them gladly and followed the instructions to hold on to her partner and sink into a squat with her heels flat on the floor.
“Practice this every day for several minutes,” the teacher said as Kate lurched to an upright position. “You can use a chair if your partner isn’t around.”
“Glad to know I can be replaced so easily,” Tony murmured close to her ear, the rumble of his voice sending a tickle through her.
Kate wished she weren’t so keenly aware of the strength of his hands in hers as she repeated the squat. And darned if this exercise didn’t give her an awfully personal look at the length of him, all the way down past his appealingly skewed tie and etched leather belt to…never mind.
As she rose with considerable assistance, she registered his wonderful end-of-day scent, masculinity triumphing over the civilizing effect of morning showers and aftershave lotions. She missed being around a man when his natural scent broke through that veneer.
“How’re you doing?” Tony held on to her even after she reached an upright position. “Me? Fine.”
Everyone else was settling onto the mats again, which left her and Tony standing there like a pair of starstruck lovers, holding hands in plain view. “We really have to stop meeting this way,” he said, and received a smattering of applause as they sat down like the others.
Kate was grateful to see a fire extinguisher on the wall. If her cheeks grew any hotter, she might need it.
AFTER A DISCUSSION of proper diet and vitamins, the class ended with a few breathing exercises. Tony might have found them calming if the in-and-out movement of Kate’s chest hadn’t kept drawing his gaze. For heaven’s sake, he was too mature and too sophisticated to stare at a pair of breasts, however beautifully formed.
Breathe in from the abdomen. Breathe out from the abdomen. Don’t think about…
“We could hear you, you know,” she muttered.
“What?” Around them, Tony realized, the class was breaking up. On their mat, Kate sat tugging at the V-neck of her short-sleeved jersey top. He hoped that didn’t mean she’d noticed him staring.
“In the hall. Arguing.”
What had he said, anyway? “Esther ordered me to hold a fire sale on our house. I guess my response wasn’t very gentlemanly.” When Kate stirred, he rose and once again assisted her to her feet.
Nearby, two women shouldering oversize purses peered at him and exchanged knowing glances.
“They probably think I broke up your marriage,” Kate said.
“What?”
“You were obviously squabbling with your estranged wife.” She brushed a speck of lint from her maternity top. “I wish you’d turned off your phone before class started.”
So did he, under the circumstances. Still, you never knew when an urgent call might come through. “I have to be available to the hospital 24/7.”
She clasped her hands. “Have you considered how you’re going to manage being a single parent? You can’t raise a child only when you have nothing better to do. You have to be present for her.”
He was in no mood for a scolding. “I plan to hire a full-time housekeeper as well as a nanny. There’s also a child care center here at the hospital. My daughter will be well cared for.”
“You mean she’ll eat three meals a day and she won’t fall in the swimming pool?” Kate shot back. “That isn’t a family, that’s a well-run orphanage. But then, abandoning one’s baby, physically or emotionally, seems to be a popular pastime in Safe Harbor these days.”
No sooner were the words out than she clapped a hand over her mouth. Stunned by her own outburst, evidently.
Tony felt stunned, too. His sweet little surrogate had a temper.
No matter what she believed, the fact was, he wanted his daughter fiercely. Raising her would be the most important thing he ever did in his life, even if he still couldn’t imagine exactly what being a father entailed.
“We need to talk,” he said.
“I… Tony, I’m sorry.” Her hand rested lightly on his arm.
“I’m not angry,” he clarified, touched by the alarm in her eyes. “What I am is hungry. Starving, which makes me cranky as a bear. Nevertheless, it’s time we discussed our daughter’s future and how I’m going to manage this alone. Care to join me for a bite?”
She withdrew her hand. “I have to pick up Brady at my sister’s. I’ve taken far too much advantage of her already.”
“This probably isn’t a conversation we should have in the hospital cafeteria, anyway,” Tony conceded. “Why don’t we meet at your place later? I can h
elp you put Brady to bed, if that’s all right. I’ve never tucked a kid in. Guess I’d better start learning how.”
She seemed to struggle for words. “I’ve never… Nobody’s ever… I mean, that was his father’s job.”
“I’ve overstepped.”
“Not exactly.”
The room had emptied. Tony noticed Ms. Torres hovering by the light switch. “I’ll get it,” he called. “I’m the hospital’s staff attorney. I’ll take responsibility.” With a nod, she departed. “Actually, it is a good idea for us to talk.” Kate lifted her chin. Since she was six or seven inches shorter than him, the gesture merely emphasized how cute and determined she was.
Determined. Understandable, since this was not only his baby but also hers for the next couple of months, Tony reflected. And for all his education, she was the one who possessed a vast knowledge of parenting.
Still, he hoped she wouldn’t try to go back on their surrogacy agreement. Much as he appreciated her situation, he couldn’t allow that.
“I’ll try not to intrude on your privacy,” he said. “But with the change in my circumstances, there are a few things we need to square away.”
That came out sterner than he’d intended, and she jerked back. “All right.”
“If you’d prefer to wait until another time…”
She shook her head. “Tonight will be fine. Give me an hour, okay?”
“Sure.” He knew her address, since he and Esther had visited the cozy home a few miles inland when they first contracted with Kate. It had seemed a wise precaution to make sure their surrogate lived under healthy circumstances.
He’d liked the cheerful interior and the smell of baking. She’d offered brownies, which he’d gladly accepted and Esther had declined. His soon-to-be ex survived mostly on salads and diet drinks.
Following Kate out of the room, Tony switched off the lights. “Let me walk you to your car.”
His Hired Baby Page 3