“Fuck, I messed up.”
I should have been there to help her through this. To protect her. The sadness in her eyes shouldn’t be there.
Those two nights we spent together had made me feel more alive than I had in a long time. If only my head had been on a little straighter, things would have turned out better. I was certain of it.
After Kevin’s death, I’d been a mess.
We’d been out in the field for eight fucking days. The zone had been hot with hostiles and our pickup had been missed. Because of that, we’d had to hoof it fifteen klicks to a new pickup. What a fucking nightmare. We’d been positioned in a bush, scouting the area before we proceeded. We’d still had twelve hours to make the pickup. Plenty of time.
A few feet away, Kevin had crouched beside a rock. We’d been dressed in full gear, and unless someone knew we were there, they’d never have seen us. I’d continued to scout the area, trying to determine if we could keep moving.
“Man, I can’t wait to get back.”
I raised my eyebrows at him to remind him to be quiet. His head wasn’t in the game, and it was pissing me the hell off. Letting out a louder-than-acceptable exhale, he shifted his focus back to watching.
Since we’d been in the field, I sensed something was bothering Kevin. His game was off. The night before, he’d made a tactical error on his calculation of the wind.
When we first arrived, I’d overheard a video chat. He and his girlfriend, Angie, had been arguing. I’d plugged in my headphones and tried to drown it out. None of my business. They’d been together since high school, and he planned to marry her at some point.
But all the drama was part of the problem. It was important to leave all the personal shit behind. It could mean your life.
“Psst . . . you ready for the next leg?” Kevin asked.
There was something off about this place. Nothing moved. It was too still—as if the animals had known something dangerous lurked out there and they’d taken off. “No. A little longer.”
Kevin was antsy for some reason. And antsy always led to trouble in this job. “It’s clear.”
I hated to pull rank, but it wasn’t a good idea. And we were making too much noise. “We wait.”
About ten more minutes passed. Impatient energy radiated off Kevin in waves. It gave me a headache. This was life or death. And personally, I wanted to live. Whatever had shifted his focus, it wasn’t a good thing. He was my spotter. When I had a mark, it required my complete concentration. I might have to talk to Skip about getting someone new. A bad spotter could get me killed.
I kept still, watching.
“Fuck this.”
Without warning, Kevin rolled out from the bush.
“That was a direct command. Stop,” I hissed.
He kept moving and stood.
The only response was the unmistakable whiz of a sniper’s bullet before it hit Kevin in the head. He slumped over dead.
Fuck.
I blinked several times, pulling myself out of that memory. I’d barely escaped with my own life when hellfire had rained down on me after Kevin had been hit. I shouldn’t have let him go out on that mission. His head hadn’t been in the right place. Part of me felt guilty . . . like I’d played a part in his death.
And then, at the worst possible time, I’d met Scarlette. If I had met her after I’d gotten out of the service, I would have never walked away. Things would have been different. And I wouldn’t have to fix what I’d broken. Time had not been on our side.
This time, I would make sure it was.
Chapter Five
Scarlette
I AWOKE AND SLOWLY STRETCHED. It had been a while since I’d slept that soundly. In the apartment with Momma, I’d had a mattress on the floor. I’d sold my bedroom furniture to help pay the rent. I knew Momma had felt guilty, but I’d always reassured her I was fine.
The worst part was that she died in the squalor we’d lived in. Losing everything had been hard. I touched the picture of my parents on my nightstand. We’d been a happy family. And I had known the love of two parents.
Throughout the night, I’d dreamt of Todd—I mean Austin. It seemed like he wanted to make things right between us. But my head warred with my heart. I’d often wondered what it would be like if I ever saw him again.
I quickly made the bed before changing into shorts and T-shirt. For so long, I’d had to hurry in the morning to check on Momma. A sense of sadness washed over me when it hit me again—just like it had during the previous three weeks . . . she was gone. I sat on the edge of the bed, at a loss.
What will I do to fill my days?
Coffee first. Then I could contemplate my days. I had two manuscripts to finish. As it was, I was two weeks ahead of schedule. After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I took it onto the back porch to look at my pretty plant while I caffeinated up.
The sight on my porch stopped me. Potted plants and flowers filled the space. It was like something I’d imagined out of a movie. I touched one of the leaves as I set my cup down. The smell was magnificent.
“I hope you like them.”
I screamed, jumped, and nearly fell. Austin reached out to grab me. “Steady there.”
The warmth from his arm radiated through me as he held me while looking into my eyes. It was the same feeling I’d had at the bar and while he’d held me in that hotel room a year ago. Those same eyes I’d dreamt about so many times.
“Did you do this?”
He held onto to me and took a step to bring our bodies closer. “I remembered you said you wanted a patio filled with flowers.”
“You did?” It was hard to believe he remembered something so trivial. I didn’t remember saying it.
“I remember every second of our time together. While we were eating room service, you mentioned you wanted a patio full of flowers someday.”
I watched as his eyes searched mine. He obviously remembered our time together, the things we talked about. Which only confused me more. I took a step out of his hold. “Then why wait so long to reach out to me? Why after all this time? Would you even have tried to find me if not for the bar in Fredericksburg? The only reason we’re talking is because of some fluke accident.”
“Yes, I would have found you. You didn’t need to carry my baggage. And I needed to get my shit straight. For me. For you. For us.”
That weekend, I’d sensed something troubling underneath the surface. But I figured we’d have time to work through it. “And is your shit straight now?”
“Yes. Well, mostly.”
We continued to stare at each other. Out of nervousness, I looked at the table, where he’d set out bagels with cream cheese. It was what I’d ordered from room service that weekend. He remembered. “What time did you get up?”
“Early. I was hoping we could have breakfast together. Talk about what happened. I could give you the answers you deserve.”
I nodded, and we sat next to each other, taking our time. I liked that he didn’t push me into conversation as I organized my thoughts.
To start, I asked, “What brought you here? Or is this where you’ve always lived?”
He took a drink before saying, “No, I came here with Lark. Lark Williams. He was the guy with me at the bar. We served together. He has a friend here, Scott Reynolds, he wanted to visit. But I decided to stay here for a bit. Garrett and Emma offered me this place. I’ve been doing repairs on it for them.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Three weeks. I’m not enlisted any longer.”
I bit my lip thinking which set of questions I wanted to proceed with. “What did you do?”
“I was a sniper in the Special Forces division in the Marines.”
A chill swept over me. A sniper. He’d killed people. It took me a second to compose my thoughts, and I realized he was watching me to see my reaction. “For how long?”
“Four years.”
Four years. Wow. That had to wear on a person. “Does it bother y
ou for me to ask these questions?”
“No, ask away. Does it bother you that I was a sniper?”
I played with a piece of my bagel. “No, I don’t think so. It just surprised me. Why did you leave that morning without a note or anything?”
Austin scrubbed a hand down his face. “My spotter died on our previous mission. I had three days to get my head straight before I was shipped out for another mission. I blamed myself for his death and left. What could I possibly bring you but heartache?”
The normal brightness in his eyes dimmed. My heart ached for his loss; I knew what it felt like to be completely helpless when you lost someone. Something in me shifted, and I reached out my hand. “I actually get what you’re saying.”
“I was going to start looking for you. But I needed to be free of the Marines and deal with what happened with Kevin.”
“Your spotter?”
“Yes. A sniper got him as we were trying to get out of a situation.”
Another shiver ran through me, but this time it was one of worry. Austin had put his life in danger on a regular basis. “And you’re out now? Completely?”
“Yes. I’m not sure what my next move is, but it won’t be military. Maybe some sort of security business. I’m not sure.” Austin squeezed my hand. “I am sorry for what happened. I’ve thought about you every day since then.” He paused and took a nervous breath. “What would you say to a date this evening?”
“I would say . . . what time should I be ready?”
That sweet smile I loved spread across his face. “How does seven sound?”
“Like a date.”
Chapter Six
Scarlette
I PACED MY BEDROOM, STOPPING to look in the mirror for the hundredth time. In five minutes, Austin would be at my door. Hopefully, I looked okay. I’d decided on jeans and a flowing blue top. My hair fell around my shoulders in curls.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I froze—it was time. This was an official first date. It had been so long since I’d had one I could barely contain myself. I nearly dashed to the door, but I caught myself and slowed down, taking a deep breath before opening it so I wouldn’t appear out of breath.
Austin held a bouquet of wild flowers.
He didn’t say a word; he only stared. Should I say something? After a few seconds, he shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re standing here in front of me. You look stunning.”
Heat spread across my face. “Thank you.”
“Oh, these are for you.”
Austin had been tongue-tied because of me. I wanted to giggle like a little girl, but I simply grinned. I brought the flowers to my nose and smelled them. There was nothing quite like the smell of fresh flowers. “Let me put these in water and grab my purse.”
As fast as lightning, I found a vase and grabbed my purse. Austin waited patiently at the front door with his hands in his pockets. With keys in hand, I met him at the door. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I loved surprises.
The huge monster truck dominated the driveway. Like a gentleman, he opened the door. I giggled. “Umm . . . I don’t think I can jump that high.”
He laughed. “I’ll get a stepladder installed. I mentioned that to Mom today when I was telling her about my plans tonight. Hold on. I’ll give you a lift.”
With ease, he lifted me into the seat. The truck still had that new-car leather smell to it. The engine roared to life, and we made idle chitchat while Austin drove. It was just like I remembered. Two perfectly suited puzzle pieces.
Then I remembered he’d said he talked to his mom about me.
“So, your mom knows about me?” I asked. We hadn’t talked much about our families. Well, I had no one left I knew. But we hadn’t talked specifics about his.
Austin gave me a wink. “She does. I stayed with them the first week I was back. She knew I had something on my mind. That woman has a nose of a bloodhound. I told her. She cussed me out for doing what I did.”
I laughed again, feeling lighter. “She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She is. She runs a nonprofit organization for single mothers plus helps my father run his construction company.”
“Wow. Hopefully one day I’ll get to meet her.”
“Oh, you will for sure.”
The conviction in his voice brought me up short, and I tried to process it. He seemed dedicated to this. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I remained silent. We approached a gate, which opened for us, and then climbed a hill. Where in the world are we headed?
The truck stopped, and Austin said, “Hang on, I’ll come help you down.”
Austin jogged in front of the truck and opened the door. In the process of helping me, I slid down his body. “On the other hand, maybe I won’t install that stepladder.”
Our mouths were a breath apart. I licked my suddenly dry lips. I noticed his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.
“I remember what you taste like.”
“You do?”
His nose brushed against mine. “Yes, I do. The memory of us got me through some really tough times.”
Austin’s hands flexed on my hips, bringing me closer as he took control of our kiss. His tongue swept against my lips, and I opened to him. One of his hands moved to my neck, where he held me. With just his mouth, he was able to dominate my entire body. I felt dizzy by the time the kiss eased.
“I swore I wouldn’t kiss you tonight.”
“Oops.” I laughed. “You didn’t make it long.”
“No, I didn’t.”
Austin grabbed my hand and led me up the short distance to the top of the hill. Little lanterns hung from a tree I hadn’t noticed until now. Being near Austin consumed me. I put my hand to my mouth. “Oh my.”
He pressed a button on a remote and his truck played a slow song. The sounds of George Strait’s “Carried Away” filled the air. He asked, “May I have this dance?”
“You may.”
Bringing me into his arms, I savored the moment. His scent was intoxicating. “I meant it when I said there hasn’t been anyone since you, Scarlette.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else, either.”
He held me tighter. “Thank fuck. I knew I’d have no right to be jealous, but it makes me see red thinking of anyone else touching you.”
His possessive tone sent pleasure rippling through me. The music morphed into another song. I asked, “How’d you find this place?”
“Garrett told me this was the place your dad brought your mom to dance under the stars.”
My steps faltered, and I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He’d cared enough to bring me to a special place. Took the time. A tear slid down my cheek. No one had ever been this kind to me before. That was the moment I realized Austin was worth the risk.
“Oh, shit. No, don’t cry. Scarlette, did I fuck up?”
“No, this is perfect. Completely perfect. Thank you.”
No doubt, I was falling for this man.
Chapter Seven
Austin
IT HAD BEEN A WEEK since I took Scarlette dancing under the stars. Best fucking night of my life. She’d given me a second chance—given us an actual chance—to see if we’d work. Since then, we’d spent our days together until it was time for bed.
Going back to my place alone at night was becoming nearly impossible. And I think she felt the same way, too. Each night, we spent damn near thirty minutes kissing before I went to my side. But I wanted to make this special for her, take care of her. I hated what she’d endured.
Each day, I had a different date planned.
Yesterday, while I was working with the horses at Scott’s, Gunner, Garrett’s grandson, stopped by. He was a man who knew how to plan romantic shit, apparently. When I asked Scott for suggestions of places to take Scarlette, Gunner suggested we stop by Halcyon to make s’mores and go canoeing at Zilker Park in Austin. Gunner said he took his wife there. Hopefully things wo
rked out as well for me as they did for him and Ellie.
Scarlette had loved it today. It hadn’t been my brightest moment to add a hike while we were there, though; it wore her out.
I got back in the truck with food from Hula Hut to find her fast asleep in the passenger seat. Yeah, I was definitely a dumbfuck for wearing her out on the Barton Creek Trail. For a second, I stared at her. She was really here . . . in my life.
My phone vibrated. It was Angie, Kevin’s fiancée.
Angie: I have some stuff of Kevin’s to send you. Can I have your address?
Letting out a breath, I texted her my address and put my phone away. I’d deal with that later. The anniversary of his death was approaching, and Angie had been calling and texting me more frequently over the past three days. I needed to tell Scarlette about her. Tomorrow, I would make sure she knew. Part of me felt obligated to help Angie, but I wouldn’t jeopardize my relationship with Scarlette if Angie came close to crossing the friend line.
Does that make me a bastard? I hope not.
Scarlette let out a contented sigh. Fuck me, the sight of her bare legs in short shorts made me hard. Time to get home so I could spend time with my trusty hand. I’d become well acquainted with him over the last week.
In the week we’d been together, Scarlette had changed. She gained a little bit of weight, and just looked healthier. I’d found out she’d been living on only three protein bars a day. It made me mad as hell knowing what she’d been through and that I could have helped. Hell, I had more money than I knew what to do with; the Special Forces paid well, and I’d been wise with my investments. If I’d been her boyfriend, I would have known how bad things had gotten. I would have made sure Scarlette and her mother were comfortable, safe.
And I was falling for her. Hell, I’d fallen a year ago. I hoped she asked me to stay with her tonight. To hold Scarlette all night and know she was safe—I needed that. If it led to sex, fuck yeah I’d be for that. But I wasn’t going to rush her.
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