“Wrong movie, Rick. Bambi lived in that film as far as I recall.”
Rick glanced over at Jed, shoved his chair back and stood up before making his way to where he had left his bag in the hallway. Jed was perceptive and took it as his cue that Rick was leaving. Rick raised his large hand and inclined his head toward Dita, winked then gave us his trademark contemptuous smirk as he cast his eyes around the table. He addressed Dita again.
“Careful, sweetheart, they may look harmless. Don’t let any of these innocent looking folks fool you. Around this table are some of the most brutal people of their generation. You want some sanity? I’m in the next cabin to your left as you leave.”
I laughed at Rick hitting on the housemaid because she was the only unattached female besides Emma. Even in the middle of nowhere Rick was trying to make his move to get laid. Turning on his heel, I watched him make his way to the front door of the cabin again. Jed pulled open the heavy wooden door, and a cold blast of air crept up the hallway. I saw Rick’s shoulders hunch up tightly as he faced the elements again and listened when we heard him complaining to Jed.
“Fuck. I’m going to freeze my balls off or starve in this fucking wilderness. I have no idea why I agreed to this. Was I drunk? Remind me never to let Mya talk me into this kinda shit again.”
The door slammed shut and, as if we had all been holding our breath until he left, we all burst out laughing at our friend and wayward rock star’s reaction to snow.
Once we had settled, I looked around the table at our closest friends. I was glad I’d made the decision to do something for Lily and felt I’d fulfilled my part in getting everyone here. It was up to them to contribute and make it a memorable holiday for her and the rest of us.
“Right everyone. Out. I want some down time with my lady if you don’t mind. It’s been a long day.”
I’m sure I sounded harsh, considering I was the one that invited them all to share our time, but no one argued. They were all tired from the trip and the cold. When they all filed out, and I heard the door close behind them, I felt relieved.
Jack seemed momentarily awkward that it was just the four of us and gave me a tight smile like he was lost for words. A moment later he wandered across to the fridge. When he opened the door, he began chuckling.
“Hmm. Did you make a special request for this, Alfie?” Jack was holding a can of whipped cream in his left hand and had an inquiring expression on his face.
Shaking my head in disbelief I wondered why everyone seemed to think that stuff was a necessity. Every fridge I’d ever opened on tour seemed to have a can. Jack continued to try to rile me.
“No? Well, in that case, Mr. Black, would you like some whipped cream with that ‘down time with your lady’?” Making air quotes with his fingers, Jack chuckled, and I shook my head because the guy never seemed to lack a reason to get me wound up.
Mya huffed loudly, pretending to be annoyed with Jack and stood up shaking her head. Smiling seductively, she sashayed toward him releasing a soft giggle from her throat. Sliding the can slowly from Jack’s hand she began to shake it like she was jacking him off. His gaze dropped to the motion her hand was making, and he was suddenly completely focused on the can. Jack was silent, mesmerized by her suggestive gesture. After a few moments she took the lid off, aimed it at Jack’s face and sprayed it on one side.
Jack blinked then stood motionless. He appeared to be holding his breath.
Closing the space between them, Mya leaned forward. She licked from his chin to his ear, and Jack groaned as she murmured in a husky voice.
“Jack, I see you found your early Christmas present from me. You sure you want to give that away and spoil the surprise I had in store for you?”
Jack’s eyes darted over to me then he studied her face in a silent plea before they drooped to half-mast as his lusty thoughts about whipped cream and Mya took hold of him. I felt like a voyeur, and I’d probably have enjoyed the scene even more if I weren’t so tired. My dick twitched at how appealing she looked because my little head and my big head had a temporary blip. Mya wasn’t Lily, and it was more the provocative scene she was acting out then anything to do with the girl.
Turning my head to look at Lily, I saw her watching me, and her eyes locked on mine. I knew immediately she felt the same. What Mya did turned her on as well. I scraped back the small wooden chair I was sitting in and stood up then wandered over and placed my hand on the back of her chair. Without another word, I swept my hand down to the seat and under it. Lifting it with her in place, I carried her in the direction of somewhere quiet and private.
“Remember, Lily, any erotic noises I hear coming from that bedroom will be reported to your mum when we get back. She still thinks you’re a virgin,” Jack called out.
Chapter 8 Wholeness
Carrying Lily through the heavy pine door of the first bedroom, I found a huge wooden king-sized bed. I figured Jack could be as quick witted as he liked as long as it wasn’t for the rest of the day. Although I knew that would be too much to ask. It was only seven in the evening, and we had all night ahead of us.
Lily crawled up on the big, deep mattress on the bed and flopped down on her side sighing contentedly. I sat on the bed beside her, took my wristwatch off and placed it on the bedside table. Taking my cell out of my back pocket, I placed it next to my watch, and lay down beside her. Turning in towards her I molded my front into the curve of her back. I tugged her closer to me until there was barely any air between us.
I reached down to tug the heavy comforter that was folded at the foot of the bed and hauled it up and over us. Once we were snuggled underneath, I snaked my left arm around her front placing my hand flat against her tiny belly tucking her even tighter. She fitted the curl of my long frame wrapped around her perfectly. I stopped to inhale her sweet feminine scent. I had come to know that part of her so well, and sighed with contentment for the millionth time since I met Lily.
We’d had a long tour, and the first couple of days after were always the time when my energy levels went to zero. The one thing I hated about being in a band was constantly being surrounded by people when I wanted some peace and quiet.
Lily and I were exhausted. Lying alone with her in that warm dark room was everything. It gave me the feeling of wholeness, satisfaction and pleasure I’d never known possible before I knew her. The woman I was holding was the only person I was simply compelled to touch. Looking at her had never been enough; being near her didn’t comfort me either. No matter where we were or who we were with, if Lily was with me, I had to be touching her. I needed her, to make me feel complete.
Tenderly, I gathered her long, soft, dark hair to one side with my fingertips and I placed my lips gently against the heat of her silky skin at the nape of her neck.
“Are you comfortable, honey?”
“Mmm…I love when you do that. It makes me feel sexy.”
“That’s because you are sexy, honey. My mouth does that involuntarily. You smell and taste so fucking good.”
“God, Alfie, I love you so much.”
“I love you too. Always, baby.”
I squeezed her affectionately and released my grip slightly. I didn’t want to wear us out with another round of sex because we still had to entertain again later. So, I suggested a nap as I knew everyone else would be back or would want to go out exploring. I wanted every second of our time together to be fun.
Lily giggled and partially wrapped her small hand around the hardness of my bicep. She gave it a little squeeze.
“Did you ever think we’d see the day when we would both climb into bed and just hug like this, Alfie?”
“Call it me being thoughtful and allowing you to gather your strength for later. I’m expecting to call in Jack’s suggestion.”
Lily froze for a second then sighed heavily. “I have a confession to make, Alfie. I wasn’t listening to him. What did I agree to?”
“You agreed to anal sex with me later.”
Lily’s bod
y instantly stiffened. A pregnant pause developed between us, and I’m sure she stopped breathing when she realized my clarification.
“I did? Seriously?” The pitch of her voice bordered on hysteria.
“Indeed.”
“Oh,” Lily responded weakly, then took a long shaky breath but said nothing else.
I could imagine how her mind was hatching a plan to backtrack on what she thought she’d agreed to. Lily had never wanted to explore the possibility of anal sex, but knowing I’d had groupies in the past that I’d had anal play with freaked her out. When she let silence fall between us, I felt bad about teasing her like that.
I couldn’t keep the ruse going because I started snickering, and Lily struggled out of my hold rolling over to face me.
“Are you having me on, Alfie?”
“If you prefer to be on top, but I hear on your side is probably best for the first few times.” I laughed, and Lily swatted me hard on my chest then sat up resting back on her knees in the bed.
“Stop it, Alfie. I hate you. Tell me what I agreed to. I know that would have registered with me if it had been something like that.”
“No, you don’t, Lily. You just told me you loved me a minute ago.” When I tried to challenge her, a small chuckle broke through my speech, so I had to come clean.
“Alright maybe it wasn’t the mechanics were wrong, but you did agree to give me a blow job.” In the darkened room, I could still make out the shadows of her covering her face with her hands.
“How the hell do I face them again after that?”
“I hate to say this, Lily, but I’m a musician who was used to playing at a different bar every night at one point. I had a lot of sex before I met you and long ago before I was famous. Jack knows the rock star lifestyle; he’s interviewed enough of us to know how freaky life on the road gets for single guys. Some married as well, but never for me, Lily. You know that,” I added quickly.
Lily bristled, and I instantly regretted what I had said.
“Look, I’m sorry this is coming out all wrong, but what I’m saying is, they know I’m not going to commit myself to someone who isn’t a match in the bedroom am I? They have to know you rock my world or they’d think I’m a limp dick or settling.”
“I don’t know, Alfie. I’m a rock star too, and I never cared about what anyone would think of your performance in bed with me when I met you.”
“When you met me neither of us were rock stars. Listen, Lily what do you think when you look at me?”
“I think you are the man I love…and I love you so much?”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Alright, I’m telling you. What do you think when you see me?”
“That’s easy. I think, fuck, Alfie Black, how did you score so lucky with this beautiful, sweet, sassy girl? Then I think I won’t be satisfied until I’m inside you because I crave that closeness with you. That’s what I think.”
Lily sat silently in the dark, and I could hear her steady breathing as she considered my words. Eventually, I heard her swallow and she drew another breath before speaking.
“Well, that’s kind of where I am with you as well. Me feeling lucky I mean, and especially the part where I want you inside me,” she hurriedly added.
Reaching up I planted my large hand behind her slender neck and tugged Lily down and into my side hugging her. Then I turned her back onto her side in the original position she was in before we started our conversation. Tugging her closer, I snuggled up to her once again and kissed the top of her head. Tracing a line from her shoulder to the shell of her ear with my tongue, the familiar warm smell of her rose-scented shampoo filled my senses.
“Then there’s your answer, Lily. They’ll know I’m with you because you are the best I’ve ever had.” I thought she would have known that. Her level of self-doubt astounded me.
Lily stiffened again, “I am?”
Her surprise stung a little because she was the woman I gave my heart to and it bugged me that she found that hard to believe.
“Of course you are. You’re the best because I never cared or loved any of the others. Only you. Lily, our connection, the chemistry between us and the power of our shared love for each other, it’s palpable, honey.”
“So, I’m not really the best, just the one that you loved back?” Lily tested as she struggled to trust my true feelings. It made me frustrated that she just didn’t seem to get how deep my feelings ran for her.
“Jesus, Lily, you’re overthinking this. I’m with you because I can’t imagine ever being with someone else now that I’ve had you.”
“Even if I don’t do anal? God, Alfie, do you think everyone thinks I do anal?”
I lay shaking my head in the dark at how fixated she’d become with that. Her concern about what other people thought pissed me off as well. I became angry with myself. I was an idiot for starting that conversation in the first place.
“How do you know they don’t do anal, Lily? I mean women or men don’t suddenly grow a horn because a dick has been up their ass. And before you ask, I’ll clear that up as well. There has never been a dick up my ass.”
Lily lay quietly contemplating what I’d said, then she seemed to settle down and we fell into a silence. I lay listening to her steady breathing, and the mattress was so comfortable I felt like I was sinking into it. I had begun to drift into a light sleep when Lily spoke again.
“What if I never do it, Alfie? What if you get bored with me? What if I feel that to keep you I’d have— ”
“Lily! For fuck’s sake stop it. I’m not going to force your ass to have sex with my dick, alright? I’m not going to leave you because I might want to have anal sex, and I’m not going to be less content because you don’t want to. It’s a hard limit for you. I respect that; just like water sports is a hard limit for me. You piss on me, and you’re out on the street, do you understand me?”
Lily began giggling, and I knew she was remembering us watching porn one night, and there was a couple performing. The woman kept squirting when she came, and the guy was getting off on it. It’s something I found gross, as did Lily, and we were talking for hours about how perverse some people seemed to stretch their sexual boundaries after we’d seen it.
My joke had backfired badly, and I felt terrible that Lily felt pressured by my past into thinking I’d be less into her if she didn’t experiment that way. I knew it was difficult for her to know that I’d been there in the past. I had known it was something she worried about, but she had insisted on us being honest with each other, so when she asked me whether or not I’d had anal before I’d told her the truth. From that point on, she had difficulty accepting it wasn’t something I needed to do again.
When we were getting to know each other, Lily asked me questions about my sex life that had me cringing before I’d answered. But I always answered. Lily was relatively inexperienced when I’d first met her, hence her insecurity about being enough for me.
“Lily, a man can spend a lifetime inside thousands of different women. There may even be a few he connects with for longer. And don’t forget all the dynamic hurdles in those numbers. It may be that the connection is one-sided on his part as well. Each may satisfy the other temporarily through one thing they find in common. However, it’s the connection that runs so deep it seeps into your soul that binds two people for infinity, and that creates the magic. I believe we’re limited by our own insecure thoughts when we love someone with our whole hearts. If I could take my heart and lay it on the table, you’d see the truth that’s in there. Every chamber, artery and vein is filled with my love for you. You don’t even have to look for my soul because you stole that the first time I kissed you.”
Lily took my hand and laid a soft kiss in the center of my palm, then held it next to her heart.
“You’re my world, Alfie. I can’t help feeling how I sometimes do, but thank you for reminding me why I love you.”
Eventually calm returned between us. I could feel
her slow even breaths. Her chest expanded and released with her settled mind. It became a soft, steady rhythm, and I knew she had dozed off. I lay awake because the thought of losing Lily scared me to death. Hell, I’d go as far as to say I’d even thought that if someone had to die I’d hoped it was me because I already knew I couldn’t live without her. Thinking about it used the last of my energy, and I don’t remember falling asleep.
Chapter 9 Drinking Games
I woke to the sound of Rick’s voice in the hallway and a small warm spot in the bed where Lily had obviously only recently left. I slung my legs over the edge and forced myself to get up in the waiting darkness. Taking a few seconds to come to my senses, I finally shuffled into the connected bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Feeling more alert, I headed for the sitting room.
Wandering down the hall to the sound of voices coming from the sitting room made me happy. However, what I saw when I got there ripped that mood right out of me. Jack was sitting in a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt, and it was obvious that he and Mya had made the most of their quiet time as well. His neck was marked, and there were fresh nail marks at the side of his thigh.
Mya was still asleep, and Lily was close to Jack on the sofa, but they weren’t actively touching each other. More like completely relaxed in each other’s company and Lily hadn’t seemed fazed by the fact that Jack was half undressed.
Lily glanced up at me when I entered the room. An affectionate smile instantaneously spread across her face when her eyes met mine.
“Hello, honey, did you have a good nap?”
I nodded and looked over at Rick, who was sitting with his leg crossed with his ankle resting on his other knee. His arm reached along the back of the sectional sofa where he was sitting, opposite of where Lily and Jack were sitting. Rick glanced up at me with a raised eyebrow indicating he expected me to make an issue out of the cozy scene between Lily and Jack. Or he may have been wondering himself what the deal was because Jack was married to his niece.
Everything Is Yours (An Everything Novella) Page 6