The orgasm nearly kills me this time, stopping my heart with its intensity, choking me so I can’t breathe. And when I feel him finally come inside of me, flooding my core with his release, my mind doesn’t stand a chance. I blank out for a few moments, unable to comprehend anything beyond the grenade of pleasure that’s gone off inside of me.
When I come to, my ears are ringing, and Colin’s weight is no longer holding me down, but I can feel his hands on my hips, caressing my ass as he pulls out.
“Damn, Blue,” he says, falling onto the bed beside me.
Exactly.
I crawl forward on my knees and bound forearms just enough so when I collapse my head, it’s somewhat aligned with a pillow. My eyes fall close, and I figure Colin’s must be headed to Sleepy Town, too. But no, my arms are being lifted, the rope untwisted from around my wrists.
I almost tell him not to bother. I can barely think, much less move. There’s no doubt I’ll sleep like a corpse tonight.
But instead of that, “I love you,” comes tumbling out of my mouth as sleep drags me under. “It’s too soon, but I’m in love with you.”
“Good,” I hear Colin say somewhere in the distance. “Me, too.”
31
Colin and I aren’t much more than rutting animals for the rest of the holiday. Sleeping like big game cats, only waking up to fight, fuck, and eat. Colin takes full advantage of my submission, demanding to eat his pussy and suck on his breasts often. There are also a couple of requests for me to do things with his mouth. Requests I grant happily.
“I love the taste of my dick in your mouth,” I tell him after the second time.
He laughs. Despite the intense nature of our extremely sexual reunion, there’s a lot of that. Laughing. All the laughing almost makes me feel like we’re a normal couple in a normal relationship. Like we’re two people who not only like, but truly get each other. And that makes me happy. Happy bordering on hopeful.
“I’m going to miss you,” I confess to him late Monday night.
We’ve dragged ourselves out of bed to change the sheets and take a shower. Though I know a thing or two about changing bed sheets, this time it’s pretty difficult to get the job done. Like dragging my limbs through mud. I now think I finally truly understand the phrase “drunk in love.”
Because that’s how I feel. Giddy and loose. Mind swaying as Colin and me perform this simple domestic task together.
“We don’t have to miss each other too long this time, since I’ll be seeing you again when I come back for the CMAs,” Colin says later when we’re in his high-end shower together.
He’s got both his hands on my breasts, taking a lot more time than necessary to soap them up, with no sign that he ever plans to rinse them off. Our session before changing the sheets was supposed to be our last. We both have places to be in the morning. But my nipples are hard as rocks, and I know if he keeps massaging them like this, our shower’s going to become not so clean soon.
“Maybe,” I say out loud to Colin. “I’ve got to ask at work.”
The thought of Beau takes the edge off the fire Colin’s built up with his soap massage and clenches my insides with guilt. That situation is going to blow up on me soon. Josie and Colin are no longer in touch, and I don’t think Beau keeps up with celebrity gossip, but it’s only a matter of time before he hears about Colin and me. Starts asking questions.
“This client of yours a country music fan?” Colin asks, rolling my nipples between his soapy fingers. “I could call him. Tell him it’d be a personal favor.”
I bite back a moan, “No, he’s not…” I lie.
“Still,” Colin says. “Maybe you should let me talk to him. I’ve got a way of getting people to come around to things.”
So true, I think to myself, but just the thought of Colin talking to Beau sends a fresh wave of panic through me.
“I think I might have to give my two-week notice there soon anyway. The job’s great, but it’s not really a fit for me anymore.”
Another tug of guilt, this time at the thought of telling Beau and Josie that not only will I not be accepting their nanny job, but I’ll also be quitting my current one after everything they’ve done for me. But I just can’t see any other way out of this mess that doesn’t involve me letting somebody down big time.
Colin hands still on my breasts. “So you need some place to stay now?”
I wince. Telling him this during my last few hours in his fabulous apartment along with my announcement that I’m in love with him way too early must make me look like the clingiest psycho girlfriend ever.
“No, I’m not trying to get you to…” I break off and tell him. “Look, I’ve got money saved and my room at my grandma’s house. That’s not a problem. I was just talking. More figuring out things in my head out loud. I’m not looking to move in with you.”
Colin lifts his eyebrows. “So you’re going to fight me on this, too?”
I shake my head. “Fight you on what? I just told you—”
“That’s fine, Blue. I can play along. You’re giving your two-week notice and then you’re moving in here with me. That’s a command. Not a request.”
I blink at him, wondering if I’m hearing him right over the sound of the shower.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I’m serious,” he answers, face somber. “I like the idea of always knowing where to find you.”
I shake my head. “But it’s too soon. Way too soon.”
“You’re damn right it’s too soon. That doesn’t change anything though. I still expect you to be moved in here by the Tuesday after next.”
I keep shaking my head. “I can’t just...”
Colin’s eyes darken. “You will.”
And suddenly, play time is over. Colin’s hand moves from my breast into a possessive hold around the back of my neck.
“Now do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”
We do it the hard way, and I end up screaming my acquiescence with my breasts pushed up against the shower’s clear glass as he fucks me from behind.
But he’s making a mistake.
I tell him that after we climb into bed together.
“I know you mean well, but there are things—things you still don’t know about me. Things I should tell you about.”
“Like your scar,” he asks, reaching up in that tender way of his to stroke it with his thumb.
I manage not to flinch this time, but only barely. Then I say, “It’s why I don’t sing in front of people anymore.”
I can tell he’s surprised I said even that much. He goes still, like someone afraid to spook animal.
And I go on, tell him near the whole story, almost relieved there is a secret I can tell him that won’t break us up.
When I’m done, he pulls me in all the way, wrapping me in his arms. Giving me the hug I’ve been needing to go along with that story.
“Fucking asshole. Wish like hell there was something I could do to take away that pain for you, Blue.”
“And the scar, too.”
I feel Colin grinning against the top of my head. “Nah, I like the scar. Makes you look bad-ass. Like somebody who needs taming.”
Having had exactly zero guys say they liked my scar before, I’m too busy feeling weirdly complimented to be outraged about the taming part.
I don’t just love Colin. I like him a whole lot. And because I like him so much, I wish I could figure out a way to tell him everything I’m keeping from him. About the job I’m doing for Josie. About my complicated situation with Beau…
Now that’s a story I never tell. Not even to Bernice. But if I want this thing—this crazy, crazy thing I have with Colin to work. Then, I know I’m going to have to. He needs to know what he’s really getting into before we go any further with this relationship.
“Colin?” I say, hoping I’m not about to ruin the best thing I ever had, because I truly love only two men in this world—and they totally hate each other. “There�
��s some other stuff… some stuff that involves Beau Prescott.”
I wait for him to say, “Other stuff? Like what?”
But all I get is the sound of his steady breathing.
He’s fallen asleep with me wrapped up tight in his arms.
Tomorrow, I promise myself as I do the same. I’ll tell him tomorrow before I get on the road.
WHEN I WAKE UP, the sun is shining, which is not right because it was dark the last time we fell asleep, and whenever I stay overnight at my grandma’s, it’s always dark when I get back on the road to head to Alabama.
I curse, hopping out of bed, only to stop when my entire body protests. Everything aches, from the top of my neck, to the bottom of my feet, and especially between my legs.
I mince out of bed, hoping the soreness will wear off before I get back to Beau and Josie’s.
“Where are you going?” Colin asks, rolling over in bed.
He didn’t put any hair product in last night, and now his blond hair is all over his head, looking like a cat went through it.
“I’m late for work,” I tell him. “I needed to get out of here…” I look at the bedside clock and cringe. “Like two hours ago.”
That’s when Colin looks at the clock and curses, too.
“I’m late, too. Better call Ginny to see if she can move my appointment with the buyers back an hour.”
Thank heavens Colin rinsed me off like a dirty pet last night after our unscheduled shower sex. At least I don’t have to worry about smelling like a brothel when I roll into Beau and Josie’s house several hours late. I drag my overnight bag out of the closet and hastily throw on a wrinkled blouse and jeans.
I see Colin in my periphery, doing the same thing near his shiny dresser drawer, while talking on the phone with Ginny. Switching the phone back and forth, he throws on a pair of jeans rubs a stick of deodorant under his arms, hits himself with a spray of cologne, and then puts his long-sleeved Johnny Cash t-shirt on over it all. He even manages to get his mother’s cross back around his neck, using only one hand. One hair-tie to bind his golden hair at the back of his head later, and he looks all set to go in comparison to my barely presentable self.
I wave good-bye to him, seriously wondering why a guy like him sees anything in a girl like me. Or at least I try to wave good-bye.
When he sees I’m leaving, he comes over from the dresser and catches me, wrapping one long arm around my waist and pulling me to him. “Hey Ginny, let me put you on hold for a few seconds. Kyra’s leaving...”
He holds the phone away as he presses a bunch of kisses into my lips. “See you in a couple of weeks at the CMAs, Blue.”
It’s a statement, not a question.
“I’ll try,” I answer, though I’m really not seeing a world where I give my two-week notice and then ask for the last Thursday before I’m due to quit off.
Colin kisses me again. This time so deep, it feels like a promise.
“I’ll call you later after I’m done with this house business. And you call Ginny the next time you have a minute to figure out the movers and what not.”
The movers. I cringe, thinking about the two very big elephants I still haven’t told him about.
“About that…”
“Git, Blue,” he says, like I’m trying his patience. “I’ve got to get this house business sorted out with Ginny now, so we’re going to have to save arguing about you moving in when I’m back in town with more rope.”
He gets back on the phone with Ginny before I can answer.
“Yeah, Ginny. See if the buyers can move it back an hour. If not, I can still make it, but I had a friend I wanted to pay a visit to before I went over there…”
32
I go back and forth with myself the entire three hours it takes to get home. On the one hand, I’m liking this not-a-secret-girlfriend feeling. On the other, I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to forgive myself for not only deceiving Beau and Josie, but also letting them down with my resignation.
And let me tell you, I don’t feel any better when Josie comes running out of the house and throws her arms around me like a long lost child.
“Where have you been?” she demands before I can so much as say hi. “Where have you been?”
“We were worried about you,” Beau says dryly, coming up to stand behind her.
“I’m sorry,” I say, hugging Josie back, though without near as much ferocity. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I should’ve texted. But I got a late start coming back from Tennessee and I was more worried about getting here.”
I expect a “that’s okay,” but Josie pulls back from me, her eyes full of tears. “You’ve never been late before! Never! You should have called us. Let us know you were okay!”
“I’m so sorry,” I say again, feeling really bad now. “Josie, believe me, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“You didn’t worry me,” she practically shouts. “You scared me!”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” I say, shaking my head.
“You scared me shitless!!”
This makes Beau’s head swivel from me to Josie’s direction. She rarely curses, and even if he can’t see the tears in her eyes or the way she’s clutching at my arms, like a worried mother reunited with her lost child, her cussing is enough to tell him something isn’t right.
“Josie,” he says. “She apologized. Why are you still so upset?”
Josie swipes at her tears. “You don’t understand. Anything could have happened to her.”
But maybe Beau does understand, because his forehead furrows. “Anything could’ve happened to her like what?”
Josie doesn’t answer.
And Beau says, “Josie, tell me what’s going on.”
Josie looks at me, and though I’m nobody to be advising anybody else on telling the truth, I say to her, “I think you better tell him. Or else you’re going to scare him like I scared you.”
Josie shakes her head. “Beau, it’s nothing. It’s just we’ve been having some problems with Mike Lancer.”
Beau tilts his head to the side. “Mike Lancer? Mike Lancer who used to play high school football with me? That Mike Lancer?”
“Yeah, your old best friend,” Josie mumbles.
Beau flinches like she’s just accused him of kicking a puppy. “When I was young and dumb maybe, but I haven’t talked to that guy in years.”
Josie makes a real deep study of the ground as she says, “Well, I have. Kind of… his wife came to the shelter. And we helped her. And now he’s mad… and he’s been doing some pretty awful things—nothing we can prove, but—”
“Did he threaten you?” Beau’s gone completely still, and though his voice is calm, I can see he’s barely keeping it together.
“No, he’s never come after me directly,” Josie answers quickly, her voice as reassuring as can be. “It’s more like sending city inspectors over and trying to mess with our license. Real pesky stuff like that.”
But Beau’s not buying her lightweight explanation of what’s been going on with Mike for a second. “If it’s so ‘pesky,’ why didn’t you tell me about any of it, like you did Kyra?”
“Well, I kind of had to tell Kyra…” Josie says, looking away from him. “She had a run-in with Mike at the grocery store, and he threatened her...”
“He’s threatening our help!?” Beau thunders.
Being called the help while I’m standing right there, and by Beau of all people, makes me wince. Though he’s right. That’s what I am to him. All I’ll ever be to him.
“You should have told me!” he says to Josie.
“Beau…” Josie starts, and she’s rubbing her temple above her glasses like the world’s biggest headache just came over her.
“Why didn’t you let me protect you?” he asks her.
“It’s not about protecting me, Beau!” Josie answers, her voice shrill with barely contained emotion.
Her answer goes off like a bomb between them. And for a few moments, all I can hear
are lawn mowers in the distance and the birds in the trees.
Then Beau says, “Oh, I get it. It’s about protecting me. You were trying to protect your poor, blind fiancé.”
“No, it wasn’t like that,” Josie insists.
Over the next fifteen minutes, I come to plainly understand why Josie was so reluctant to tell Beau about the Mike Lancer situation. He does not take any of it well, and the more Josie tries to explain, the more pissed off he gets.
I watch them argue, telling myself to stay out of it. But I can’t help myself. I jump in, even though this whole matter ranks pretty damn high on the list of things that ain’t my business.
I put my hands on both of Beau’s thick arms, taking his attention away from laying into Josie.
“Listen, Beau, I’m not saying Josie was right about keeping this from you. But the fact is whatever she did, she did because she loves you. She loves you so much. So much…”
My heart aches with the unspoken part of the rest of that statement. And so do I. But instead, I press on. “That’s all that matters. The love. The rest of it is bad, yeah, but we can figure it out. Let’s just go into the house—”
Beau surprises the hell out of me when he actually leans in, sniffing the air around me.
“What are you doing?” I ask, trying to step away.
But he catches me by both arms and sniffs some more, before lifting both his eyebrows. “Something you want to tell us, Kyra, about why you’re late?”
“I told you I got a late start.”
“Did you get a late start because somebody kept you up late? Somebody with real good taste in cologne?”
I freeze.
And Beau smirks. “Josie, I think Kyra’s gone and gotten herself a boyfriend.”
“Colin Fairgood,” I hear Josie say behind me.
And my heart catches. How did she know?
I whip around to ask her, only to find she isn’t talking about me, but to me. A familiar black vintage truck is coming down the circular driveway, one I immediately recognize even before it comes to a stop right behind my car.
His For Keeps: (50 Loving States, Tennessee) Page 22