“He feels terrible and has been trying to make up the time.”
Bart’s expression softened. “I appreciate your loyalty to my son, but he doesn’t deserve it. He’s put you in a bad spot if you’re having to rely on Chance.”
It was irritating working with Chance, especially since he had that bum foot. “I’ll talk to Rawson about getting to work earlier.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll transfer him out to the herd and start looking over resumes. Until we hire someone, Chance can keep helping you out.”
“I’m sure I can work it out with Rawson. He’s much better than Chance, even working fewer hours. I’m sorry I let things get so behind you noticed.”
His lips twisted into a faint smile. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Liz. My son’s used you badly. He has a knack for that. He won’t use you anymore though.” He stood, bringing our meeting to a close. “If you need anything, let Abe know. We’ll work with you until we find an acceptable replacement.”
I gulped. How had everything spun out of my control? “Thank you, sir.”
As I left his office, emotions swallowed me whole. I didn’t want to lose Rawson. We worked well together. And what would happen to us if he went away? I blinked back tears, angry that I’d begun to care for him. I should’ve kept my distance like I’d planned.
Chapter 51
Bentley
Life sucked worse than a vacuum. Since Dad discovered Rawson was spending time with his loser friend and leaving Lizzie short-handed, he put him over the cattle and only gave him one hand to help him. Usually there were three. I guess Dad didn’t want Rawson having any free time to waste with Damon. My brother’s stupidity had made life difficult for everyone. Lizzie’s workload doubled since Chance with his gimp foot was as useless to her as a fork in soda. Rawson only got home every week or so to restock supplies, so I had only Addie for company.
With it being Thanksgiving, I thought things would get better. Dad had given Rawson the day off from the cattle, and I’d looked forward all week to some guy time with my brother since Lizzie had flown home for the holiday. But Rawson texted that Damon was doing bad and asked if I would cover for him until he could get home. He didn’t show until dinner was long over and the sun had set. So much for my plans for a fun-filled day.
I sank onto the couch and watched as Addie attacked him like he was the best thing since sweetened chocolate. She didn’t know better. Rawson laughed and fell to his knees when she smacked him with an empty gift wrap roll.
“Oh, no! I’m getting attacked by a Jedi knight.”
She giggled and proceeded to whack him over the head with the cardboard tube again.
“Aghh, Benny! Grab me another light saber, man. Quick.”
I ignored him and pulled out my sketchbook from under the sofa. He could get his own dang weapon.
Mom left and returned with another roll from her craft room.
“Thanks, Queen Amidala.”
Addie must have found that hilarious because she convulsed on the floor in laughter.
Rawson held the tube in both hands and made amazing light saber sounds as he mimicked Darth Maul’s moves from Phantom Menace. Not that I was paying attention. I wasn’t. My sketchbook sat open in my lap so I could draw.
I flipped back a few pages to a charcoal drawing of Addie with her tongue inside her mouth. The good old days…before the accident. As I peeked at her playing with my brother, I compared the sketch to now with her tongue hanging out like a slobbery dog.
Rawson rubbed his tube against hers. “Use the Force, Addie.”
She gave him a wide-mouthed grin and reached up to fondle his face. Our sister sucked at Jedi games.
“I feel the Force in you, young Padawan.”
“Roth-un funny!” She whacked him again.
In between laughing and ducking her hits, Rawson cried, “Join me, Addie. Together we can rule the galaxy.”
Emotions raged as I watched them goof off together. Part of me wanted to join in; the dark side felt more ticked off than ever. Why didn’t Rawson demand she hold in her tongue? Addie would do it for him. But my brother cared more for that idiot Damon than any of us. We got his leftovers.
Shoving my sketchbook and pencil under the sofa, I hobbled from the room. Mom followed me into the kitchen and made a peanut butter banana sandwich. She set that and a glass of chocolate milk in front of me. As I dug into my snack, she ran her fingers through my hair.
“You look so much like your father.” Her eyes glistened, but thankfully she didn’t cry. “You’re amazing, son. I wouldn’t change anything about you.” She gave me a smile and left.
What the heck? It was almost as if she’d read my ugly thoughts and had known I needed a pick-me-up. Her words did comfort me. I thought when she got all teary she might be remembering the good old days before I got bent and wishing I was whole again. But she’d sounded sincere when she said she wouldn’t change anything about me.
Rawson peeked into the kitchen. “You up for Empire Strikes Back, kid?”
Mom’s kindness had lifted my spirit. Maybe I could forgive my brother for being a dummy with his friend. It wasn’t like holding a grudge had given me any satisfaction. I followed him down to the basement.
As he put in the DVD and set up the stereo, I pondered Mom’s mini-intervention. She had a gift for knowing when I needed her, but also knowing better than to smother me. She understood Rawson too; he never flustered her. Dad should take lessons. And with Addie, she was a saint, giving my sister endless devotion when I would’ve been tempted to swat her backside.
Tears filled my eyes as I thought of Detrick. He’d suffered from middle-child syndrome, being overshadowed by Rawson’s greatness and my baby cuteness. That made him cling to her like a Momma’s boy. But she’d loved him with all she possessed. Not many people could say they’d been on the receiving end of that kind of love. In that way, Detrick had more than most people who lived a lifetime, because Mom gave him, and kept giving us all, the best gift she had—herself.
“Hey,” Rawson nudged me. “You’re in a galaxy far, far away.”
I blinked. “I was just thinking of Mom. She’s pretty awesome.”
“She’s the best.”
We didn’t talk anymore, but walls dropped between us. At one point, his hand came down on my leg and squeezed.
“I need a favor, kid.”
“Name it.”
“I want to do something special for Liz for Christmas—to show her how I feel.”
“How’s that?”
“Like she’s my whole world.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I’ve never felt this way before, so I’m not quite sure what to do. Any ideas?”
I pursed my lips. “What about the twelve days of Christmas? You could give your true love something different each day.”
“You’re brilliant, bro.” He tousled my hair, laughing when I slapped at his hand.
We put our heads together and came up with several ideas to get started before he stood and stretched.
“That’s a good start. I better hit the sack”
“You can’t leave in the middle of the best movie ever created.”
“I have to head back to the cattle.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me his credit card. “Keep this. I’ll need your help purchasing items so they get here in time. I don’t have internet at the cattle house.”
After he left, I figured I should go to bed too. Watching movies alone was as fun as picking a sunburn.
Chapter 52
Rawson
None of the passengers filing through the double doors from whatever flight had just landed were Lizzie. Leaning back, I stared at the bronze flying geese hanging from the wood ceiling. Maybe she’d be in the next group of arrivals. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine her reaction when she saw me instead of Abe. When I discovered that she’d asked the foreman to pick her up, I offered to get her, as well as the load of straw Abe needed if he’d cover for me with the cattle. He was hesitant, bu
t I’d busted my hide over the last month and he knew it.
So we switched…and now my heart beat so fast I half-wondered if I was having a heart attack. I’d liked girls before; shoot, I couldn’t count the number I’d been gaga for at one time or another. Yet I’d never felt vulnerable like this. The month Liz and I had been apart had been pure misery. I missed her, but even more, I needed her. Me, the guy who’d always taken pride in my independence was now the neediest man on earth.
I straightened in my seat as the sound of rushing passengers filled the terminal. As I scanned the crowds, her tinkling giggle alerted me to her presence before I saw her. Standing, I adjusted my Stetson as she walked through the double doors beside a tall, lanky cowboy who appeared to be paying too much attention to her.
“That would be great,” she said to him.
I scowled as he mashed up against her. “Let me get your number, darlin’.”
“Lizzie!” I swiftly approached.
Her expression as she glanced up and saw me was encouraging. Her face lit up like Addie’s whenever I brought her jelly bellies. “Rawson!”
I nudged Mr. Give Me Your Number out of the way and picked her up and swung her around. It was only one revolution on the airport walkway, yet it was enough time to savor the smell of her shampoo and the way her breath tickled my neck. My body instantly relaxed and felt whole. This was what I’d been craving.
When I should have released her, I held on a second longer and said loud enough for Mr. Open Mouth Cowboy to hear, “I missed you, sweetheart.”
That got the message across. He tipped his hat. “Nice talking with you, Liz. You have my number.”
She tried to wave, but I’d pinioned her arms, and no way would I allow her to give him more than a kick in the backside goodbye.
“He gave you his number?” I raised a brow. “What kind of Neanderthal is he?”
She turned all rosy under my gaze.
“Blushing becomes you…and you’re welcome by the way for getting rid of that loser.”
“He wasn’t a loser.”
I took her hand and tugged her toward the luggage carousel. “I beg to differ. He lost you, didn’t he?”
She half-heartedly punched my arm. “He wasn’t trying to win me. We just sat together on the flight here. He’s from Florida.”
Spotting her southern seat-mate scoping her out by the luggage carousel, I steered her to the opposite side. The girl was blind. As we waited for luggage to arrive, she turned to me.
“I’m glad you picked me up, Stash. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. Texts only go so far.” I wrapped my arms around her. “It’s nice to hold the real deal in my arms.”
When I didn’t let go, she mumbled into my shirt. “You can let go now.”
“I don’t think so.”
Luggage piled down the chute. Liz pushed away to point out her suitcase.
“I never pictured you for a pink suitcase kind of gal,” I said as I grabbed her bedazzled baggage and led her out to my truck.
“I’m not. That’s courtesy of my mother.”
Snow fell on the drive home, making me have to focus on driving until we pulled off on the ranch exit. As I steered down the snowy ruts, Liz started questioning me.
“How do you like working with the cows?”
I sighed. “Cattle, Lizzie. Cows are—”
“I know. They’ve had babies.”
“It’s been hell.” When she narrowed her eyes, I said, “I’m not cussing. That’s the truth. Dad’s determined to kill me. He purposely left me underhanded so I don’t have a second to even breathe or take a leak.”
She scrunched her nose. “Gross. I hoped you at least changed before you came and got me.”
Caught off guard by her remark, I started laughing so hard I had to pull over on the unplowed road. Unlatching my seatbelt, I scooted over and threw my arm over her shoulders. “Man alive, I’ve missed you. I don’t think I’ve laughed once since Dad banished me to the herd.”
Her eyes oozed compassion. “Is it really so bad?”
“Worse.” I tilted my head to take advantage of her luscious neck and began to nibble.
Lizzie surprised me by reaching up to run her fingers through my hair. She’d never done something so normal before, and it fired me up faster than an incinerator. Clutching her tighter, I began sucking her neck like it held the only sustenance to keep me alive…and in a way, it did. Even without touching her lips, I experienced one of the most sensual moments of my life as I made her sigh, moan, and shudder with pleasure.
But when my hand slipped under her shirt, Lizzie gasped and applied the brakes full force. Ecstasy came to a crashing halt as she practically shoved me into the dashboard.
I gulped as she straightened her shirt and pulled her jacket around her like a protective shield. “We shouldn’t have done that.”
“What? I didn’t kiss you…although I should. We’ve been going out since the end of September.”
“You can’t count this month. This is the first I’ve seen you since you were assigned to the cattle.”
“All the more reason to make up for lost time.”
She folded her arms. “This is why I didn’t want to go out with you.”
I counted to ten. The girl pushed me to the edge of crazy. “Don’t you dare pull back and friend-zone me. Just tell me what you want.”
As she faced me, I wanted to kiss the furrow from her brow. “Maybe we should take a break from each other.”
I scowled. “We just did that. It’s been almost four weeks, Lizzie. I have only until I get you back home before I have to get back to the herd. I moved hell and high water to get Abe to cover for me so I could pick you up today.”
Her stern expression softened. “That’s sweet.”
“Don’t call me sweet.”
She laughed, and I hoped we could throw all the awkward out the window. I tried to throw my arm around her again, but she shook her head and lifted it like it was chemical waste.
“No more. You’re acting like we’re together.”
I raised my brow. “Right now, we are together…in my truck…alone.”
She swallowed. “We’re not together. I can date other guys.”
“Like who? Chance? You already made your feelings clear about him. Or maybe you want to make eyes at that idiot who sat by you on the plane today…the one who thinks just wearing a Stetson makes him a cowboy.”
“Hush,” she scolded. “He was nice. Besides, you better get over your jealousy because he’s looking for a job, and I told him I’d put in a good word for him with your dad. I need someone more experienced than Chance, and Garret’s worked with horses for years. He could be the man for the job.”
“I’m the man for the job!” I pounded the steering wheel. I couldn’t believe she was still talking about going out with other guys.
Her lips formed an adorable pout. “You were the man for the job until you messed up and got stuck with the cattle.”
“I forbid you from putting in a good word for that jerk.”
“You forbid me?”
“Yes. Just put up with Chance until Dad switches me back to work with you. You’ve lasted this month. What can a little longer hurt? Besides, Dad won’t hire anyone during the winter.”
“Is that so? Then why has he been having me look over resumes?”
I threw my head against the seat and growled. What was my old man thinking? He knew I wanted to train the new blood. Taking a deep breath, I worked to contain my emotions. I couldn’t change Dad’s decision, but I could regain control of this conversation and steer Liz to a compromise.
I waved my hand. “Forget Florida guy. Back to us. I won’t try to kiss you, but I think it’s time we became a couple. Exclusive. I’ve never felt this way about any other girl. I want to be serious.”
She gaped at me.
It felt as if I’d laid my heart open on an operating table for her to fix. When she didn’t respond, it was as i
f Dr. Lizzie callously left my bleeding, pumping organ behind to go eat lunch with friends. Each painful beat required superhuman effort as I struggled to maintain a relaxed expression and not beg her to agree.
“No,” she finally whispered. “That wouldn’t make sense right now. I’d be putting myself on a shelf. Maybe when you’re back and I see you occasionally, we’ll discuss it.”
Clenching my jaw, I scooted to my side and pulled back onto the road. The girl seriously knew how to push my buttons.
When I pulled up to the house to drop her off, I took her hand. I couldn’t leave on a bad note.
“I don’t know when I can get away again, but will you hang out with me when I do? Maybe we could watch a movie with Benny.” I knew she wouldn’t turn me down if I used my brother.
She smiled, lifting a weight from my chest. “Sure. Text me when you’re on your way and I’ll whip up some snacks…maybe even cinnamon rolls.”
I moaned and brought her hand to my lips. “You are most definitely the perfect girl for me. I’m glad you’re back, Tutti. Life has been all lima beans without you.”
Her eyes crinkled. “See you, Stash. Don’t freeze out with the cattle.”
“I won’t,” I called as she hopped out her door. “Thinking of you will keep me mighty toasty.”
Chapter 53
Liz
Gale-force winds whipped snow across the icy pasture, building ten foot snowdrifts where the rail-post fence meandered across the land. I pulled my scarf over my mouth and plowed into the elements. Nights like this made me wish for a better coat. The threadbare one I wore layered over several sweatshirts had seen better days.
Squinting into the swirling whiteness, I grabbed for the rope Abe had secured from the indoor arena to the house. When he first hammered and worked on the line, I’d scoffed, thinking I could easily find my way home in the dark or snow without help. But I’d never experienced weather like this. My eyelashes froze and my nose stung. Visibility consisted of blowing snow, which confused my internal compass. The rope had become my salvation.
Gritting my teeth, I used my gloved hands to feel my way along the bristly twine. When my boot hit something solid, I reached out and felt the door into the mudroom. Breathing a sigh of relief, I entered and shut the door quickly. Still, a pile of snow blew in with me.
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