“Riley—”
“Shh.” He put his finger on her lips. Before she could protest, he replaced his finger with his mouth.
The kiss was uncompromising in its desperation, but she couldn’t tell if that desperation came from her, or from Riley. He didn’t reach for her, touching only her mouth. As much as she wanted to grab him and pull him close, she didn’t. Instead, her fingers curled into fists at her side.
His phone chimed, forcing him to break away. He took it out of his pocket and stared at the screen. When he looked at her again, his expression was blank. Without saying a word, he turned away, climbed into his car, and followed the last of the DEA vehicles from the scene.
****
At her Washington, D.C. post, Chip was completing her reserve duty that had been postponed for the Northstar assignment. Instead of field trials with the rest of her unit, she was assigned to office detail. Light duty, they said. This stuff was harder than her last fitness exam. The monotonous work kept her hands busy, but nothing stopped her mind from wandering. And it had been wandering to Riley all too frequently. He hadn’t called or tried to see her. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Her original duty should have lasted two weeks. Per the agreement with Colonel Jackson, the assignment in New Mexico counted as her first week. She had spent her second week mending from her injuries and had to take vacation time from her civilian job to fulfill her military obligation. The last few days had been devoted to the decision she needed to make regarding her military career. She was at a crossroad and couldn’t put off the decision any longer.
During her recuperation, she’d learned more about the case. If the UAS program had failed, it would have left gaping holes in the border patrol’s ability to track drug shipments due to budget cutbacks. Strictly speaking, it wasn’t a direct threat to national security, but it was a strong enough case for the suspects involved to spend a long time in a federal prison. Those entrusted with safeguarding the nation’s secrets must remain faithful to that trust. Dean Weston and Lorraine Voras had broken that trust.
Chip couldn’t understand how Weston and Lorraine justified destroying lives for their own selfish needs. Looking back on her own life, it had been filled with sacrifices. When her father’s duty assignment called him away, her mother never protested.
As a teenager, Chip learned of an unspoken agreement between her parents. On her mother’s part—a quiet prayer for providence and safety, without tears or recrimination. On the part of her father—a promise to return from every mission unharmed. Although neither parent was superstitious, their ritual worked. After every mission, her father came home, and her mother, with grace and courage, allowed him to take the next assignment without feeling guilty.
With her mother’s example of strength deeply instilled in her, Chip learned to face any hardships. But it was her father’s footsteps she’d always followed. Until now.
The general interrupted her thoughts as he entered the administrative office where she was filing papers.
As the first to see the senior officer, Chip called to the room of clerks. “Attention.”
The other three personnel in the room, all enlisted, snapped to attention along with Chip.
“As you were.” The general removed his cover and waved a hand at the group.
Everyone returned to various tasks with a few curious glances as General Anderson walked over to his daughter.
“Lieutenant. A word with you in private, please.”
“Yes, Sir.” Chip slid the filing into the metal basket sitting on the corner of a desk and then followed the general through the doorway outside.
The air was still warm in the early autumn afternoon. The sun was low on the horizon, forcing Chip to shield her eyes against its glare. She joined the general on a bench under a lone tree in the yard. Various personnel went about their business, moving from building to building, fulfilling their duties until five o’clock, the typical dismissal hour once the colors were retired.
“Have you come to a decision?” The general got straight to the heart of his visit.
Chip was sure he knew her answer. She’d told Colonel Jackson this morning.
Her New Mexico adventure had left her feeling restless. There was more to life, and she wanted the freedom to explore it. Even without the uniform, she would always feel duty bound to her country, but outside the uniform, she could do more without the constraints of military duties.
“I’m sure Colonel Jackson informed you of my resignation.” She’d expected the words to sting a little, but instead there was a sense of peace with her decision.
“I talked with him, yes. But you didn’t tell him what you were going to do after you leave the service.” Her father hesitated. “Will you tell me?”
Her decision to accept the honorable discharge for her service was prompted by a strong desire to expand her work at the Youth Corrections. Maybe even spend her off hours at Runaway Home—helping young people gain a better foothold—offering a better alternative for the Julias of the world. Chip would always regret she’d never been able to save her friend, but she could make a difference now.
Byron O’Neal had also offered her a full-time position on Northstar’s team. The invitation was tempting. They did good work at the firm. But she knew she’d never be able to separate her feelings for Riley from the job. She’d turned down Byron’s offer, knowing in her heart she had a more important calling.
“Serving my country has been the right thing to do, but I’m just riding along here, Dad. I can do so much to help kids who have lost their way if I devote more time to them. Help them find a stable influence in their lives, even for a few hours a day. I believe I can help them from falling under the influences of scum like Weston. I need to do this.”
She stared across the parking lot where a MP patrol drove slowly, inspecting each vehicle. There was so much security everywhere. It was the price of freedom. She would teach the youth of this city not to take that freedom for granted.
Chip looked at the general, hoping he would understand. “I have to be where I can do the greater good. I have the opportunity to touch these young lives and make a difference.”
He smiled at the passion in her voice. “You sound like your mother. She has her causes, too. What about Northstar? Are you going back if they call?”
“No!” Okay, that came out more forcefully than she intended.
Her father raised an eyebrow. “Is it young O’Neal?”
Chip averted her head so her father couldn’t read her eyes. She didn’t want him to see the pain she felt. Since the assignment ended, Riley had never once tried to contact her. It hurt more than she wanted to admit that he didn’t appear to care. If she spoke, she would betray her feelings. If she didn’t answer, her father would draw his own conclusions.
What happened next surprised her even more. Her father reached over and took the pins from her hair, letting the braid fall down her back. He slid his fingers over the strands as they folded into one another.
Chip raised her gaze to look at her father.
His eyes glistened as they’d done in the hospital. He cleared his throat. “I know how Riley feels.”
“What do you mean?”
He separated a strand of hair and smoothed it tenderly between his fingers. “Neither of us protected you.”
Chip’s eyes widened. Could that be why Riley hadn’t tried to see her? Did he feel responsible for her abduction?
Her last relationship had failed because the guy couldn’t handle her martial arts abilities, so she naturally thought Riley hadn’t contacted her because she’d made him look weak. She was positive he was embarrassed by the way she’d jumped in to save his life.
Did he believe he’d failed her? If what her father said was true, then Riley must believe he was protecting her by staying away. She recalled that conversation they’d had at the resort. He preferred to carry out his assignments by staying uninvolved and detached. Was that why he’d walked a
way from her after they’d caught Weston?
Silently slipping into the night wasn’t going to work this time. She wasn’t letting him off so easily. He would have to tell her to her face that he didn’t want her in his life.
She snapped out of her reverie. “Sir, permission to be dismissed?”
“Permission granted.” The general smiled, his gaze approving. “Go easy on him, my dear.”
Chip laid a kiss on her father’s cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”
Chapter Nineteen
Riley O’Neal tossed down his pen from the doodle on the notepad, stunned that he’d spelled out CHIP O’NEAL in block letters.
“Hello? Riley? Are you still there?” Through the phone, Sean Malone’s question brought Riley back to his immediate task.
“Sorry, Sean. Got lost in thought for a moment.” He returned his attention to the conversation instead of a certain pair of gray eyes. “I’ll make sure Allison has all the details for the new office and, when you’re ready, we’ll set it up.” He relaxed a little, knowing he’d kept a promise to his father without sacrificing what he loved most—fieldwork. “I don’t know how to thank you for helping us out like this. Welcome back to the Northstar family.”
Sean Malone, a former CIA agent and partner of Byron’s, had agreed to come out of retirement and manage the new satellite location. Eight months ago, the firm’s plan to set up an operation in the western region of the United States had been postponed. Byron had chosen to wait on the expansion, until now. Riley tore off the page with the doodle and scribbled notes on a new page to give to Allison for review. “When can you be in town to go over the contracts?”
“Sometime next week,” Sean said. “I have a doctor’s appointment to clear me for travel at the end of this week. After that, I’ll book my flight.”
Riley nodded. “Great. We’ll finalize things then. Bring Caitlin with you. It’ll be good to see her again. I’m glad she’s agreed to come on board, too.”
“She’s thrilled to work for Northstar once more, and I’m glad her assignments will be closer to home,” Sean replied.
Riley ended the call and leaned back in his chair with a measure of satisfaction at completing the transaction with Sean. Northstar was expanding. The firm would have the ability to serve those in need, regardless of their location, and do it quickly.
Now he could concentrate on the next project.
Except he couldn’t concentrate. His thoughts kept returning to the last assignment. He still felt as though he’d betrayed Chip after he’d promised to come back and see her in the hospital. He’d intended to keep that promise until his father sent him off to finish the job. Then instead of being happy to see her when she’d shown up at the bust in New Mexico, he’d let his anger—and something a little more unsettling—get in the way, and walked away from her. True, he’d had other duties to attend to, but he could’ve made time to seek her out…if he could trust these strange feelings.
His preoccupation with Chip was keeping him from moving forward. He recognized this obsession was much like the one he’d gone through when searching for the runaway Mary last year. Only this time it was more than an obsession.
Getting involved with Chip after the assignment began was one thing, but not doing thorough background checks on all the parties before taking off to New Mexico was inexcusable. Riley was appalled when they’d discovered Lorraine Voras had been involved in the kidnapping. If he’d allowed Chip to pressure Lorraine as she’d wanted to after that rescue, they’d have known the woman’s story was suspect.
After wrapping up Dean Weston’s interrogation in New Mexico, he’d returned to Washington and presented the evidence to the FBI. He was there when they formally charged Lorraine for accessory to kidnapping Fiona Burnsworth and blackmailing the senator.
Riley had also been the one to break the news to Senator Pomeroy of his aide’s misuse of public office. It was unfortunate timing for Pomeroy. But with the sale of the UAS program to Mexico, and the scandal breaking out in the legitimate news agencies, Pomeroy decided to announce an early retirement and resign.
Lastly, Northstar had received word through back channels that one of the more prominent cartels was unhappy about El Rey del Sur’s direct assault against a U.S. Senator. A hit was put out on the head of the upstart cartel for poking the global powerhouse. Since no one knew who the leader was, the authorities couldn’t be sure the gruesome photograph of a headless body sent to Burnsworth’s e-mail was the leader of the cartel, but no one was placing any bets against it, either.
Even though the case was ultimately a success, Riley couldn’t forgive his oversight. He shouldn’t have permitted the feisty lieutenant to distract him. His lapse in judgment resulted in the trap he and Chip stumbled into. A trap that almost cost Chip her life.
He’d vowed he’d never let anything hurt her again. If that meant staying away from her for the rest of his life—that’s what he’d do. Not seeing her again was painful, but not as painful as realizing his mistake could have killed her.
He reached up and loosened his tie. As he did, his fingers brushed against a chain around his neck. For one moment, he indulged himself and pulled on the chain until it came free. A small gold ring dangled next to his larger one. He’d retrieved Chip’s ring from one of the prisoners after their arrests. As he fingered the smooth metal, he recalled the flutter of her hand when he’d slid the band over her finger. He hadn’t realized it then, but in that moment, she’d changed his life.
No, that wasn’t quite true. The girl he had known as Mary triggered a change long before they met again in the conference room. Her spitfire courage showed him that sacrifices were made all the time. His profession wasn’t a game of playing James Bond, like in the movies, but was real involvement, with real people—a chance to touch lives and make things better.
It had taken almost losing her for Riley to see that reality. He hoped someday she would forgive him for putting her life in danger. He hoped she could forgive him for following the orders of his assignment and walking away from her. As an army officer, she understood duty. Maybe better than he did. Surely, she would understand his choices.
He slid the rings and chain back under his collar. Those memories were best tucked away. The director was waiting to review the final case report. Maybe once the paperwork was filed, Riley could put everything about this assignment behind him and move on.
He nodded briefly to Allison as he passed her on his way to his father’s office. She smiled and pushed the black horn-rimmed glasses up on her nose. Riley wouldn’t have found Chip in time if it hadn’t been for Allison’s quick responses. He had already asked Byron to give the lab tech a bonus for her work on this assignment.
The walk to the director’s office was over before he was ready. Riley hesitated before knocking on the closed door. It wasn’t often his father’s office door was closed. Perhaps he didn’t wish to be disturbed. No, his father had asked to see the report and Riley was delaying the inevitable. He was the one who wasn’t ready to let go of the assignment.
He took a deep breath and tapped lightly on the door. Hearing the muffled “come in”, he turned the handle and opened the door. Riley stopped short of entering the room when he saw Chip sitting in his father’s office.
She wore her Class A uniform, but her cap was gone and her braid hung over her shoulder in disarray. His mouth went dry. He wasn’t prepared to face her. He didn’t think he’d ever be prepared to face her.
She looked at him with expectant eyes as he stood in the doorway.
She was so exquisite in her own way. His chest hurt at the sight of her. He wanted to rush to her and kiss her soft mouth, drink from her lips until he was numb with intoxication.
“Come in, son.” Byron gestured with his hand. “You’re gawking.”
Chip smiled at Byron’s comment, but her gaze never left Riley’s face.
His legs grew stiff and it took an effort to walk into the room. From the corner of his eye, he saw his father
stand and walk toward him. Somewhere through the fog filling his brain, he felt a pat on his back and heard the office door close behind him.
Seeing Chip was sheer torture and it took a moment to find his voice. “Why are you here?”
“Because you wouldn’t come to me.”
Riley stepped closer, her eyes drawing him into their depths. “I had no reason to. The case is finished.”
“You left without any explanation. After all we’ve been through together.”
His head jerked, her words like a slap. “I left to complete the reports for the assignment.”
“Looks like they’re finished.” She nodded at the folder in his hand. “What about now?”
The assignment was over. She’d filed her report with the firm a week ago. Riley had spent hours poring over her description of the kidnapping and what those cartel goons had done to her and Fiona. With each turn of the page, he had become more enraged at what she had gone through. He was furious, with the suspects and their actions, and with himself. His neglect had almost killed Chip and Fiona. Most of all he was angry because of his failure to protect her.
“I made too many mistakes on this assignment,” he said harshly. “You and Fiona could have died. There is no excuse for that.”
****
Chip cringed at the self-recrimination in his voice. She carried some of the responsibility, too, and balked at the thought of Riley taking the blame for everything that went wrong. If she had been honest with him from the very beginning last year—revealed her true identity—then maybe things would have been less strained between them from the start of the mission.
She stepped forward and looked him squarely in the eyes. “Perhaps if I ask for your forgiveness?”
His eyebrows rose. “For what?”
“I should have told you who I was when we met at the gang house.”
His shoulders stiffened. “How would that have made any difference in this assignment?”
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