“Warm enough?” Henry said, tucking my legs under a knitted afghan.
“Yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” He sat in the chair Marlene had scooted next to my bed and extended a hand toward me, but I tucked both arms under the blanket. I can’t touch you anymore.
“I’m going to go make tea. You shouldn’t stay too long, Henry, or Lucian…wel, he might worry,” Marlene said. Lucian… She moved toward the door. “Milk or sugar, Henry?”
“Yes to both. Thank you, Marlene.”
“We need to talk, Auntie,” I managed.
“I know. I know, Gemma.” She walked out, her head down.
I tried roling onto my left side, my preferred position for sleep, but immediately realized I’d be sleeping on my right for the near future. No pressure on the left side of my head. Ginormous ouch.
Instead, I fluffed a pilow and sat up a bit. I had to talk to Henry now, not tomorrow, and as Marlene had disappeared for the time being, I needed to get this out before I had to take more of the pain medication that would cripple my ability to formulate complete sentences.
“Henry, I have to tel you this,” I said. I had to blink a few times to zero in on his face, but I didn’t feel too groggy to speak.
“I was serious when I said no talking. You need rest.”
“Henry, please.”
He looked at me, then to the clock radio on the shelf over my right shoulder. “It’s late, Gemma…”
“This is wrong, Henry. Al of this…it’s wrong.” He relented. I was going to talk, no matter what. “What’s wrong?”
“You being here. This. Us. It’s wrong,” I swalowed, my mouth cottony, my tongue sticking to my dry palate. “You’re my brother.”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Oh, realy? It is what I think! My mom—a package arrived from her. I saw Marlene with it yesterday, but she didn’t give it to me. So I went looking for it. In Ted’s trailer. I picked the lock on his cabinet, and found the letters from Delia,” I said. “The letters—
they were drawings, pieces of a face. But if you stacked them up and held them to the light, it showed a whole face, al put together.” Filia est pars patris/A daughter is part of the father.
I started to cry. Henry tried to wipe a tear from my cheek, but I yanked myself away.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Gemma, please…”
“Is it true? Is Lucian my father?”
Henry nodded.
“How long have you known?”
“I’ve known for a while. Lucian told me. This is so messed up, I don’t even know how to explain it to you.”
“Why didn’t you tel me?”
“How? You never would’ve believed me!” he said, his tone defensive. “Besides, I’ve tried to give you hints, tel you what I could. If I’d told you outright, Lucian would’ve had me kiled.”
“He wouldn’t kil you. He’s your father. He loves you.” Henry looked away from me and shook his head.
“But what about everyone else? How long have they known?
He’s my father! Lucian? Oh, my God, how is that even possible?
We’re half-siblings! This is so…so gross! You took advantage of me, this whole time! You knew!”
Henry didn’t say anything, but kept his eyes downcast.
“I think we should talk about this when you’re more awake.
Things are very confusing for you right now,” he said. “Please, believe me—it’s not what you think.”
“You keep saying that, but it is what I think! If we have the same father, we’re related. I’m not too drugged to understand how that works, Henry!”
The door to my trailer opened and Marlene walked in, a tray in her hands. Ted was behind her.
“Ted, you knew! You’ve known this whole time!” I screamed at him, my voice cracking. I could feel the veins in my throat strain against the skin. “Henry is my brother, and you let…we kissed!
That’s sick! What the hel is wrong with you people?” I pushed myself up against the back wal of my bunk, wishing the wal would open up and swalow me whole. The sudden movement sent a rush of blood to my head, the surge of pain causing me to cry harder.
My upper arm was sore from the tetanus shot, and I was reminded of its tenderness when I jammed the shoulder into the fiberglass wal of my bunk.
Ted kneeled next to me, his hand resting on my blanket.
“Gemma, listen to me. I need you to look at my face so that you’l hear my words. Can you do that?”
I sniffed but agreed, my chest seized by deep gulps from crying.
“Remember I told you that I brought Henry’s mom to the US
after she learned she was pregnant.”
“Yes…” My nose dripped. Marlene handed me a box of tissues.
“Lucian was very unhappy about that, even though the night that I found her, she had been badly beaten. He was cruel to Alicia. So, so cruel.” Ted seemed lost in his memories for a moment, unable to continue speaking until he regained his composure. The trailer was dead quiet beyond me sucking air between sobs, Marlene’s dainty sniffs, and the tick-tick-tick of the heater kicking on.
“Lucian felt…betrayed, especialy when Henry lived. Thing is, AVRA-K families who lose their books are cursed. They aren’t supposed to be able to have babies who live past their seventh day.
But Henry survived, even though Alicia’s family had lost their book.
He was the first—no other child of falen families had lived,” Ted explained. “Henry was special. Chosen…” He was talking very slowly. My vision was clouded with tears, my eyelids puffy and tender from rubbing at them.
“The fact that Henry lived has made Lucian fearful of him, for good reason. Henry is a Delacroix, an heir to their AVRA-K. When Henry lived, Lucian knew the Delacroix line would survive, even though, at the time, they didn’t yet have their book back.”
“Why didn’t Lucian kil Henry, then? If he’s had him al this time?”
“Thibeault Delacroix warned Lucian that if Henry were harmed in any way, the book would be destroyed. That would ruin everything for Lucian. He very much wants that book,” Ted said.
“But what does any of this have to do with me? I’m so confused.
Please, Uncle Ted…” I looked among their tired faces, wishing Ted would hurry up and get to the point. I was so tired. Henry tried to reach for my hand, but I recoiled from him.
“Lucian knew that Henry would become the Delacroix heir, and a powerful one at that. So Lucian decided he needed one, as wel.
That’s when he found your mom.”
“But Delia? Why Delia?”
“Because he knew it would hurt me. Delia was practicaly my—
our—daughter-in-law,” he glanced at Marlene. My mom was supposed to have married their son. “Lucian was very angry at me for my involvement with Alicia. So he wooed Delia, and left her.
But he toyed with her long after his physical presence had ended.” I thought of my mother’s letter…he only found me, and created you, to settle his own vendetta…
“Gems, when you were born, we knew you were special, and we did everything we could to protect you. You and Henry, you represent the same thing. Things didn’t quite work out the way Lucian wanted, especialy now that you and Henry have become so close. He brought us—the circus—to Eaglefern so he could have you close. He knew that Henry would leave eventualy, go to France to be with the Delacroixs, so he hoped that you, Gemma, would be the heir he’d train to help him. He’d hoped that you and Henry would hate each other, once you realized what was at stake.”
“Ted, I don’t even understand what Lucian being my father—
and Henry’s father—has to do with any of this. The book, heirs, or whatever you’re talking about.” The back of my throat ached from trying to hold back more tears. “Henry is my brother. And you lied to me about it. You let me fal in love with someone I couldn’t have.”
“Gemma, honey…,” Marlene said.
Ted cleared h
is throat and straightened his shoulders, as if preparing himself for the next bomb he was about the lob out of his mouth. “Lucian came to America when Henry was ten days old. He kiled Alicia and took Henry as a show of revenge. I hurt him. I had an affair with Alicia, during those months when we were traveling, performing across Europe, when I was his student and he was my mentor. He was cruel to Alicia. She looked to me for protection.” The look on Marlene’s face could only be described as pure anguish. And yet she stood, listening to her husband openly discuss his betrayal of her nineteen years prior. She must’ve known. She must’ve dealt with it in her own way. But the sadness in her eyes said it al. It stil hurt like hel.
“But that wasn’t al. I had his precious book,” Ted said. “In exchange, Lucian took something precious that belonged to me.” Henry reached across the bed and placed a tender hand above the bend in my elbow. In that split second after hearing Ted’s words and feeling Henry’s warmth rush through me, the clouds parted. A moment of clarity. I had an affair with Alicia…
“Gemma,” Ted looked at my face, straight on, expressionless,
“Henry is not your brother because he is not Lucian’s son. He’s mine.”
The bomb detonated. My ears filed with the hiss of flaming shrapnel as it whizzed past my head and impacted the earth around me. The faces of the people I loved most, the faces of the people entrusted with my wel-being, were twisted in torment, brows wrinkled, noses red and raw. What a horrible burden to have carried al these secrets; what a trial to have manufactured so many layers to conceal the truth.
Suddenly, Delia was there. In the trailer with us, her ghostly outline by the door to the bathroom. She was shaking, visibly distraught, her eyes sunken and scared. I thought things were supposed to have been better for her in the afterlife. This didn’t look like much of an improvement.
“Delia?”
Henry touched my hand. I heard Alicia’s voice. It’s okay, Gemma…it’s okay…
Ted stood and backed against the wal, wiping his face on a red kerchief, trying to folow the path of my gaze. “Mar…?” he said.
She put her finger to her lips to quiet him.
I pushed Henry’s hand away from me and broke the connection with Alicia’s voice playing into my head. I scooted to the edge of the bed. “Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you here? What’s happening?”
“My Gemma-Juliet,” she said. I hadn’t been caled that in a long time. Not since the letter. Not since before last Christmas Eve.
“Gemmy, write this down. Write this down so they can al see,” she said.
“Paper! I need some paper!” I shouted, frantic she would disappear. Marlene ruffled through a drawer and handed me a notepad and pencil. I didn’t dare look away from Delia. She began to speak, her voice agitated; I transcribed her words, my hand moving across the pad, my eyes glued to the sobbing ghost of my mother.
You gave the AVRA-K away,
But return it you shall to my hands one day.
For if you don’t, the boy will die,
Before his twentieth July.
If you resist or foil my rule,
Next to go is the precious jewel.
Delia shimmered. “Mom, wait! Please! Don’t go!” She was gone.
I remembered crying so hard, I thought my eyebals would launch out of my head.
I remembered the wet faces of the people around me, Ted and Marlene enveloped in their own cataclysmic reminder of their failures as parents and protectors.
I remembered taking the pain pil that Marlene pushed into my hand after Delia vanished.
I remembered Henry’s hand stroking my hair as I whimpered myself to sleep.
But what I couldn’t remember was how to forgive al the adults in my life who had so thoroughly screwed everything up, who’d lied to me to protect me when now, there was little any of them could do to make anything even remotely close to okay ever again, little any of them could do that would guarantee my survival.
Next to go is the precious jewel.
That was me.
Gemma. A precious jewel.
My father, with whom I should’ve been sharing a joyous reunion, was instead sharpening his scythe.
My father…my executioner.
:22:
I exist. I am alive. I am strong. I have awaked in peace…
— Chapter 154, Egyptian Book of the Dead, The Book of Going Forth By Day
“Morning,” I said. I puled the curtain back from my bunk.
Marlene and Irwin were seated at the table playing a lively round of “Go Fish” with a deck of Irwin’s Braile cards. The trailer was warm, almost too warm, and smeled of fresh coffee and some sort of baked heaven. The sun, bright through the trailer windows, had chased away the usual drizzle.
“Ah, she lives to see another day,” Irwin said, shifting on the bench to turn in my direction. Marlene put her cards face down and hopped up from the table.
“How’re you feeling, Gems?” She touched my forehead to check for signs of fever.
“Al right, I guess. My head hurts.”
“Rightfuly so,” Irwin said. “You gave us quite the scare last night, girlie.”
“Wel, you know, I figured there wasn’t enough going on around here already. Might as wel add some fresh drama to shake things up a bit.”
Marlene checked the bandage around my head. She reached for the prescription bottle and squinted at the label, her hand feeling around her chest for her reading glasses.
“What time is it?” I was afraid to sit upright yet to check the clock. Sudden change in blood pressure would mean more pounding in my head.
“It’s after 11,” Marlene said.
“You know, most kids don’t bash their heads open to get out of school. I used to hold the thermometer over a match.”
“And, tel me, Uncle Irwin, how did that work out for you?”
“It didn’t. But I busted enough thermometers over the years that I probably have mercury poisoning,” he laughed.
“Is it okay if I give your hair a little tidy? There’s dried blood in it and you can’t shower just yet,” Marlene said, pointing at the bandage.
“Just be gentle,” I said. Marlene retrieved a towel, a cup of hot water, and a comb from the bathroom. She started with the ends, dunking the comb into the water to wet the individual strands of hair. After just a few passes, the water in the cup took on a pinkish hue, flakes of dried blood clinging to the sides of the plastic cup.
“Where’s Henry?” The flowers he’d brought Wednesday were arranged on the shelf at the foot of my bed, their fragrance wafting through the room. Of course, I’d thought of him upon waking, but I’d also thought of a ton of other things. New things that had changed my future with alarming speed.
“He sat with you until you finaly drifted off. You were talking quite a bit in your sleep, so he was very concerned. He wanted to stay al night just to watch you breathe, but once we were sure you’d just had your fil and were out, I shooed him home. I’d say it had to have been close to 3,” Marlene said.
“It’s not safe for him there. He can’t go back to Lucian.” I sat up straighter. Delia’s poem warned that the boy—Henry—would die before his twentieth July. That was this year.
“He can’t stay here, though. Not yet. Lucian wil come looking for him.”
“So, more pretend? We just play along, even though everything is unraveling around us?”
Marlene’s cheeks sagged. For the first time, I noticed she was getting jowls. She looked exhausted, fragmented.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Her words faltered at the end.
“Why didn’t anyone tel me? Why was this al such a big secret?
I mean, first the thing with Lucian and…Delia…but Ted is Henry’s dad? Didn’t you guys think this was pertinent information that I needed to have?” I was angry, but drained of the energy to get too worked up.
“Because. Lucian is very powerful. He knows that you are his daughter but legaly, he has to have a DNA te
st to prove it. We have never granted him that, to protect you and your mom. It just didn’t seem right,” she said. “And he’s had Henry. He knows what he’s after, and it isn’t candidacy as Father of the Year. Henry has been nothing more than ransom, for nineteen years,” she said.
“There’s nothing we’ve been able to do. Not without the book.”
“At least I now know why he really doesn’t want Henry and I seeing each other.”
Marlene nodded. She looked sad, sadder than I’d seen her since my mom’s funeral.
“How…? When did Lucian meet Delia?”
“She went to Europe. After Jonah died, she did some time in a hospital, and when she got out, she left. Went off the radar. She’d said something about being caled to him, that she had to find this mystery man in Europe. At the time, we didn’t know it was Lucian, but she began to plan for the trip when she was released from the hospital. She wrote me letters about this man she had to go find, that he was coming to her in her dreams.”
“She was having visions of him?” I said.
“She caled him her destiny, said that her voices were teling her she had to find him, that everything would be okay if she did. We didn’t understand. We thought it was her ilness caling the shots.” Marlene pressed the water from the lengths of my hair with the hand towel. “Gemma, I know I have a lot to apologize for. There is so much we’ve probably done wrong, with al of this, but you have to know that we made choices based on our desperation to keep you safe. And I know you have a lot of questions, but right now, you need to rest.”
“How’s Ted? Is he okay?”
“He’s managing. He’s working through it by running the crew’s tails off. You know Uncle Ted. Mr. Stoic. He’l talk when he’s ready, I’m sure.”
“That’s so weird…Ted is Henry’s father. And they both have known this for a long time?”
“We’ve al known. Since Ted brought Alicia to America, pregnant with Henry,” Marlene said. “But what could I do? I couldn’t lose Teddy again.”
“So you forgave him…”
She nodded, her face distant and melancholic.
“I loved him. I stil do.” Marlene had carried so much for so long. And to live knowing that her husband had fathered a child with another woman? It spoke volumes about Marlene’s character. I wondered if part of her was relieved that the secrets were finaly coming out of the shadows.
Sleight: Book One of the AVRA-K Page 17