Finally ready to leave for work, Carly had her hand on the handle of her car door when yet another car pulled into her drive. After Drew had left that morning, Joe had made an unexpected visit. And now it seemed that Caleb was doing the same. Glad to have a chance to catch up with her friend’s brother, she smiled and walked toward his black Range Rover as he parked and climbed out.
“Caleb, it’s good to see you. Drew mentioned you were in town, but I wasn’t sure if I’d get to see you.”
He dropped a kiss on her cheek. “It’s good to see you too, though I’m sorry to hear about what’s going on.”
She lifted her shoulder and gave him a wayward look. “One of the worst things about it is that I can’t really do anything to help, since I have to work.”
They shared a look of commiseration. If there was one thing Carly knew about Caleb, it was that he was a man of action. Being in her position, being unable to participate in everything the others were doing, would make him shrivel into nothing but a shell of himself.
“So, how are you?” he asked earnestly.
Touched by the sincerity in his voice, she paused before she answered. “I’m okay. Really, I am,” she repeated when his brows shot up. “I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of highs and lows. I can’t stop it, so all I can control is how I react to it.”
“And how are things with Drew?”
That question surprised a laugh out of her. “Are you looking out for his virtue, Caleb? Wanting to make sure my intentions are honorable?”
“It’s hard for people like us. People like him and me.”
The seriousness of his response gave her pause and she didn’t need him to elaborate any further.
“I know,” she said softly.
“He’s not going to be very good at it, at . . .” He waved his hand at her.
“A relationship?”
“Probably not at first. But you won’t meet someone more committed to trying.”
She knew that too.
“Then again, I noticed he didn’t come back to Kit’s last night, so maybe he’s better at it than I thought.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, no doubt attempting to lighten the mood after he’d made his point.
She gave him a playful shove and started back toward her car, then stopped and turned back around. “Are you going to stick around? We have another meeting at Vivi and Ian’s tonight, if you’d like to join us.”
He chuckled. “Like I told Drew, not a chance. But if you need anything, just call. Have there been any updates? What about the numbers on the earrings?”
Carly smiled and relayed what Naomi had told her about Seraphina the day before, then she told him about the subsequent decision made by Joe earlier that morning to send Marcus down to Florida with Trudy to talk to Sera’s current owners.
“That’s good news,” he said, leaning against the side of her car as they talked. “What about Repetto himself?”
She shrugged. “We don’t know much more than we did yesterday.”
“But there’s something else, isn’t there?”
Carly took a moment to answer. “Joe Franks stopped by this morning. We talked about some stuff, the past, that kind of thing. But . . .”
“But, what?”
She dipped her head. “It’s probably nothing, but it just seems like, when I hear Joe talk about Vince Repetto, I have a hard time picturing the man Joe is describing actually doing what we know he did. The financial crimes, sure, but the murders? I don’t know. Like I said, it’s probably nothing, but something just doesn’t feel right.”
“Like what? Tell me what Joe has told you.”
She glanced at Caleb and his serious expression told her he was interested, truly interested, in hearing her thoughts. She took a deep breath. “He was born in Canada,” she said, “not that that has anything to do with it, but raised mostly by his dad in Alabama. Good family and all, but Joe said he always seemed out to prove himself, and that he also had a tremendous sense of entitlement.”
“Was he capable?”
“Joe’s words were that he was smart enough to get into the academy and keep his job, but beyond that? He said Repetto always seemed more interested in projecting an image than having any substance. Big ego, tiny id.”
“And planning and executing three murders doesn’t really align with someone whose life sounds pretty superficial.”
Carly shook her head. “It doesn’t. Not to me. Especially when we keep hearing from Joe how unexpected the violence was. But what do I know? I’m hearing this all second hand, of course, from Joe.”
“Do you think Repetto had a partner?”
She zipped up her jacket, it was getting chilly standing around outside. “I asked Joe. We know he has one now, but Joe said that he didn’t think he did back then. He thought that Repetto’s ego was too big for a partner.”
Caleb wagged his head. “Egos are a funny thing, in my experience. We all have them and we all need them. And while they can be a major source of strength, they can also be a major source of weakness.”
She had never thought of egos that way—she usually thought of the impact a person’s ego had on others, not on the person with the ego.
Caleb straightened away from the car. “You’re getting cold. Why don’t you head into work.” Then, with a teasing smile, he added, “I’ll keep Drew on task.”
She widened her eyes in mock surprise. “Does that mean you’re going to join our team of capable crime solvers?”
He laughed and opened her car door for her. “Not a chance.”
• • •
Carly pulled her car up at Vivi and Ian’s just as dusk began to take hold. Unable to help with the investigation, she had spent most of the day walking Josie through the Windsor police systems, catching up on paperwork, and figuring out who could fill in for Marcus.
With the exception of the call from Marcus and the few updates from Drew, it had been one of the most painfully quiet days of her recent life.
Marcus’s call. Carly’s mind recalled it as she turned off her car’s engine. She thought he’d been calling to check in before leaving for the airport. Instead, he’d unloaded what he’d been trying to tell her for the past few days—that several years ago he’d had the opportunity to take over the family businesses and he hadn’t done so. Because of her.
He had told her that he hadn’t wanted to risk her life by going back to his. She knew he’d told her the truth, that he hadn’t wanted to risk losing her, but to her it felt like just one more thing for her to feel guilty about. Logically, she knew she shouldn’t feel guilty—she would have made the same decision in his shoes—but still . . .
Exhaling a deep breath, she forced her mind back to what she’d learned from Drew’s updates throughout the day. The ballistics reports and files had arrived from LA and Washington and he’d spent a chunk of his time reviewing those. He’d also told her that Naomi and Brian were working on gathering additional information on Moran. She expected to hear updates from everyone else once she went inside.
A little smile played on her lips when she emerged from her car and caught the scent of the grill coming from the back of the house. She paused and inhaled deeply as she took in the scene. She recognized Drew’s car, but there were several others there as well. Good, she hoped she was the last one to arrive so she wouldn’t have to wait for dinner or the updates.
“Carly,” Vivi called from the front porch as Rooster came darting out to greet their visitor. “Come in,” she added, waving her over.
“It’s getting cold out there,” Vivi said as she ushered her inside. Rooster squirmed in delight at all the people in his house, nudging the latest arrival’s hand for a good rub.
“The price we pay for having such a beautiful fall,” Carly responded, removing her coat and hanging it on a hook by the door before complying with Rooster’s demand.
“The men are all out by the grill, but come into the kitchen and join the rest of us for a glass of wine,” Vivi directed. “I�
�m throwing the salad together.”
Rooster got one last pet from her then she followed Vivi to the kitchen where Mikaela and Naomi, who was making faces at Jeffery, were lingering.
“How are you?” Mikaela asked as soon as she entered the kitchen.
“Frustrated, oddly exhausted, and wanting this all to be over,” she replied.
“I don’t blame you, for any of that,” Naomi said, crossing her eyes and sticking her tongue out at the baby, which caused him to laugh.
Carly smiled.
“You may not be out running a physical marathon right now, but it’s certainly a mental one, not to mention emotional,” Vivi said. “Which could explain why you’re tired. And, by the way, I was very sorry to hear about Mary and Bill Hanson,” she added, giving Carly’s arm a squeeze with one hand as she poured a glass of red wine with the other.
The crimson liquid swirled in the glass when Vivi handed it to her. “Thank you,” she said. “Their daughter, Emily, is with social services now, and Mary’s sister has come to town. Both families want custody of the little girl, but if the paperwork checks out with Mary’s sister, I’m hoping she gets it. I don’t think it would be good for Emily to be anywhere near Bill’s family. They’re still blaming Mary, saying if it weren’t for her, Bill wouldn’t have done it.”
Vivi made a sympathetic sound, just before Jeffery let out a howling laugh—startling both women. Carly watched Vivi’s eyes travel to her son, who was playfully pushing on Naomi’s puffed out cheeks and causing her to make raspberry noises. All four women watched Jeffery’s antics for a few minutes, then Carly turned back to Vivi.
“Can I help with anything? Please?” she asked.
Vivi smiled, understanding her need to do something, even something mundane, and handed her a sweet onion. “Here, you can sit down there and chop this,” she said with a gesture to the kitchen bar. Carly took the onion, the cutting board, and a knife, then took a seat on a stool and began slicing.
The men came marching in a few minutes later, making Carly smile. Men often made fun of women for going to the bathroom together, but she was pretty sure it didn’t take Ian, Lucas, Joe, Sam, Brian, Wyatt, Daniel, and Drew to put a few steaks on the grill.
“I’ll need to flip them in about five minutes,” Ian said to Vivi after he’d greeted Carly. “Should I get out the plates and stuff?”
Vivi murmured a response but Carly’s eyes and attention were focused on Drew. She watched his expression shift and some of the tension leave his body when his gaze met hers. He didn’t come over to kiss her hello or make any overt gestures, but she could see the intent in his eyes.
Never in her life had she had a night like what she and Drew had gone through the night before. In her anger and frustration and her feelings of impotence and helplessness, she’d pushed him. She’d pushed them both beyond their breaking points. And in those dark hours, he had shown her what she’d always known: that he had his own demons, his own questions, his own doubts. It wasn’t easy for either of them, at this stage in their lives. But despite the explosive, and sometimes aggressive, night they’d spent together, for the first time in a long time, she felt like she wasn’t alone, struggling to stay afloat in a stormy sea. How, or even if, they would emerge from the tempest remained to be seen.
“You okay?” he asked, his fingers brushing her lower back as she set the salad on the table a few minutes later.
“It’s been a long day, but yeah, I’m better—certainly better than I was last night. I didn’t know Lucas was back.” She began stacking napkins near the silverware Ian had brought out. They were setting everything up buffet style on the kitchen bar.
“Apparently, he came up late last night,” he replied as he separated the forks from the steak knives. “Said something about planning another birthday party for Jeffery.”
Carly glanced at the Boston detective and wondered why he felt the need to come all the way to Windsor to plan something that could have been decided over the phone. Then again, Vivi and Ian’s home was about as welcoming as a home could be; there had been plenty of times she’d wanted to curl up on their sofa and stay for a spell.
Turning her attention to the living room, she was about to suggest that they claim two seats together on the couch when she heard the back door open, heralding Ian’s return with the steaks, while, at the same time, a knock sounded on the front door. From her spot beside Drew, she watched Vivi scan the room, maybe looking to see if they were missing anyone, before moving toward the front door. Ian came in through the kitchen and set the platter of steaks down as Vic stepped through the open front door.
For a moment, everyone froze. Perhaps in surprise at seeing him at all, but more likely in shock at seeing him in such a state. His eyes were red, slightly swollen, and bloodshot. His hair stuck out at odd angles, like he’d been running his fingers through it and tugging it into spikes. And under his open jacket, his shirt was only half tucked in.
“I’m so sorry,” Vic said, his voice breaking as his eyes traveled around the room wildly.
“Vic?” Vivi said as Ian came to stand beside her.
Vic’s eyes bounced around the room and, briefly, Carly wondered if he was on something. But then his gaze landed on Ian and a look of sadness washed over his expression that was so primal, she felt her own heart stutter.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, holding Ian’s gaze.
“For what, exactly?” Ian asked, his voice hesitant.
“I hated you. I . . .” He paused, cleared his throat and ran a palm over one of his eyes before looking back up. “I might still hate you, I don’t know.”
“Vic? Are you okay?” Vivi asked. She made to step forward, but Ian held her back.
“And you,” Vic said, swinging his attention to Carly.
She felt Drew’s presence at her back.
“I’ve let you down, too. I’ve fucked up my job and left you to clean everything up.”
“Vic? What’s going on?” Lucas asked. On the other side of the room, he’d barely moved from his location but he had stepped into Vic’s line of sight. Vic stared at Lucas, but Carly couldn’t tell if her chief actually saw him or not. Then his lips trembled and he looked away, back toward Ian.
“You were everything I was supposed to be and I hated you for it,” he said.
She saw a look of confusion come across Ian’s face. Vivi reached over and took her husband’s hand.
“I hated you because you were always so sure, so confident about every damned thing. About your place in the world, with your military service, your job, your family, your wife. You were what I was supposed to be and, most of all, I hated you because,” he stopped and rubbed both of his eyes as he gathered himself together. “Most of all, I hated you because I hated myself.”
No one said a word while Vic struggled with what he wanted to say next. Only Lucas, shoving his hands into his pockets, moved.
After a long moment, Vic cleared his throat again and looked up. “I’m gay,” he said, keeping his eyes on Lucas but speaking to the room. “I’ve known since I was a kid and I’ve hated myself ever since. I grew up in a family that wouldn’t, that won’t, accept it. It’s a sin, it’s an abomination against god, it’s unnatural,” he said, no doubt mimicking what he’d heard growing up.
“I grew up hiding who I was so I could stay a part of a family who wouldn’t want me otherwise. The older I got, the more cowardly and spiteful I became.” He cast a glance at Ian. “I couldn’t stand up to my family. I couldn’t tell them about that part of who I am, and I hated myself. I hated that I had to choose between my family and myself, and I let that anger and frustration turn me into a man I liked even less.” His voice cracked as he spoke. “And I took it out on you,” he said, meeting Ian’s eye. “And because I couldn’t deal with myself, I didn’t want to deal with anything, so I left too much to you.” He swung his eyes back to Carly. “I’m so sorry, to both of you.”
Tears gathered in his eyes and he looked down, blinking
them away.
“Vic?” Lucas said.
Vic looked up. Even as his lips trembled, he opened his mouth to speak. “I told my family today. They, uh,” he paused and turned his eyes toward the front porch. “They reacted like I knew they would. I’m not welcome in my parents’ home anymore, or those of my brothers. I shouldn’t care. I’m a grown man, I shouldn’t care what they think . . .”
His voice trailed off as his gaze dropped to the floor by his feet and Carly’s heart broke for the chief. He had left her with more work than he should have and he had been a colossal ass to Ian, but no one should be forced to make the choices he’d made and no one should lose a family because of whom he loved. As if sensing her sorrow for her boss, Drew brushed his fingers over her arm then reached down and intertwined them with hers.
“I’m a wreck, Lucas. You know I love you, but I’m a wreck. I have no family, I’ve fucked up my job, and while I have a home, I’m not sure I want it anymore, because, well . . .” Because it would be too hard to live in the same area as the family who’d kicked him out was left unsaid.
“I don’t know who I am or who I can be once I, well, once I sort all this out,” Vic’s voice shook with emotion and his eyes pleaded for some kind of acceptance. “I’m not much, Lucas, but if you want me, I’m still yours.”
Carly glanced at Vivi. Finding out that Lucas, her deceased brother’s partner, had found someone new and moved on wasn’t something someone should learn in public. Lucas also turned his gaze to Vivi, and in that look Carly saw his regret, his pain at having hurt her. Vivi stared woodenly back at him, but beside her Ian gave a little nod. Lucas hadn’t been looking for permission to go to the man he so obviously cared for, but he did seem to want their blessing. Another look of remorse flashed in his eyes when Vivi didn’t respond. But he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Vic.
Without another word, Lucas led Vic out of the house. A few moments later, the glare of headlights flashed through the living room and the sound of Vic’s car faded away as the two men departed. There was no doubt that they had a lot to discuss.
“Vivienne?” Ian said softly to his wife after several moments of silence had passed, everyone waiting for her to give them some direction.
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