“You do not want to know.” His eyes traveled over my body and back again. I knew that he was undressing me in his mind. “And what I am thinking is even worse.”
“Let’s dance,” I suggested and grabbed his hand.
“Good. I will have an excuse to put my hands on you. That’s something I’ve been fighting the urge to do all night.” He agreed.
“You’re a mess,” I giggled pulling him toward the dance floor.
Dean grabbed me and pulled me close to him. Suddenly the deejay had decided to slow it down. He’d taken it way back and played “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green. I could feel his warm breath brushing against my ear as he sang the words. His voice wasn’t bad at all. When I felt his lips and tongue on my neck I almost lost control. I had to keep telling myself, ‘Don’t lose control girl’. I planned to take my time with Dean. I wouldn’t rush to give him the goods. Maybe that had been my mistake in the past. Yeah, Dean was different, and I was going to take a different approach with him.
Chapter 12
Seandra
Damnit, there Renell and Ricky were looking all happy go lucky and shit. She even had the audacity to wave at Maurice and I with a huge smile on her face. Beaming and shit like that Negro pissed out golden streams. I was tapping my feet and biting my nails because I was fuming. Don’t smile and wave at me like we weren’t just down each other’s throats. That bitch was flaunting her man in my face, like I didn’t have my own man. In my eyes she was just trying to prove me wrong about her being a lesbian. Her new love was probably just a convenient cover up.
It was exactly 8:55 and the awards ceremony was scheduled to start promptly at nine. There would be an extravagant celebration dinner afterward. I had to give it to Renell. She did look incredible. The lavender Vera Wang gown was long and had a thigh high split that revealed a shapely leg. I hated to admit that I actually envied her. She had the perfect man and she seemed so genuinely happy. Ricky was looking fine in a tan Armani suit. His dark chocolate features and broad, muscular build were even sexier than I last remembered. Damn, why was I admiring my sister’s man? I knew why. He’d probably never used a drug, or hardly even drank. I bet he was even faithful to Renell, and didn’t have a limp dick one second and a deadly weapon the next.
“What’s the matter with you?” Maurice asked with an attitude.
I rolled my eyes at him. He’d been working my nerves ever since we’d left Miami. I was getting so sick of hearing him talk. He glanced over my shoulder.
“I thought she wasn’t coming,” I said under my breath.
“Don’t let her bother you. The ceremony’s about to start and I don’t want you to be distracted when they call your man’s name,” he said just knowing that he was going to win every award he’d been nominated for.
I was still upset and it didn’t help when he squeezed my thigh affectionately. “Relax baby. You keep tapping your feet like you’re a nervous wreck.” He suddenly stood up.
“Where’re you going?” I asked.
“To the restroom. I know black people are never on time, so I am going to relieve myself before the festivities begin.”
I nodded as he proceeded to the restroom. Looking back I noticed hat Ricky was gone also. Renell looked straight ahead like she was avoiding making eye contact with me. Suddenly she looked nervous. Not making much of it I turned and faced the elaborate stage as the lights dimmed.
* * *
Renell
‘Why the hell was she looking back at me every damn second’, I thought to myself. Getting up, I scurried to the restroom. The lights had just dimmed, but I figured I’d go to the restroom before everything was under way. On my way there I heard two men talking. Their voices sounded like Ricky and Maurice. I stayed where I was so they couldn’t see me as I listened.
“Oh yeah. Now I remember you. Morehouse 1996. You crossed over as Kappa and I was one of the big brothers over that line.” Ricky laughed. “I was a senior in ’96.”
“Ok man. So, you’re dating Renell seriously now huh? Seandra and I thought you two were just…you know…business associates.” Maurice chuckled.
“Yes, we’re pretty serious. She’s a very intelligent, sexy woman. I love a strong, ambitious woman who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. She’s very special. You understand I’m sure. You’re engaged to Seandra, so I’m sure you feel the same for her.”
“Yeah, sure man. Let me get into the restroom before I go on myself,” Maurice stated impatiently.
“Oh yeah. Sorry man. I caught you on your way in. I will talk to you later Maurice ”
“Alright Ricky,” he said and walked into the restroom.
I walked around the corner like I hadn’t been eavesdropping. “Sweety, I had to go. I will meet you at our table.” I winked at him and walked by.
“Okay baby,” he nodded.” He turned the corner and made his way back to his seat.
As I walked by the men’s restroom Maurice suddenly stepped out. “Nell,” he said grabbing my arm.
“What Maurice?” I asked pulling my arm away in annoyance.
“I thought I heard your voice.”
“I didn’t think you remembered my voice,” I said sarcastically.
“So you’re with Ricky for real?” He asked.
“Look, the ceremony is about to start. Excuse me.”
“I didn’t think you would ever move on,” he said reeking of hard liquor.
I rolled my eyes at him. “I hate you.”
“You haven’t always hated me Renell,” he grinned slyly.
I pushed him aside and made my way into the restroom in haste. Suddenly I felt light headed so I splashed cold water on my face. It was a long time ago. Way before Seandra even knew Maurice. I’d met him first about four years ago. I was networking and trying to get my business started. One of my fellow graduate students told me all about the YBE. You didn’t have to have an established business to join. All you needed was a graduate degree in Business and at least a 3.0 GPA. That year the YBE held a huge meeting in Atlanta and it was the perfect opportunity to fish for potential clients.
Later on that night at a party I met Maurice. I hadn’t been in any kind of relationship since Nathan and Maurice was like a breath of fresh air. To make a long story short Maurice swept me off my feet like one of those Harlequin romances. I thought our relationship was serious and against my better judgment had fallen in love. He’d told me that he was in love with me as well and I believed him. I needed to believe him. He was a good man, or so he seemed to be.
He’d managed to keep his drug use under control when we were together. I actually didn’t know he used drugs until a short time before our relationship ended. For almost a year he wined, dined and romanced me from the island of Costa Rica to Paris. I never introduced him to my family because I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. After I found his coke stash everything unraveled. The women started calling all times of night and in less than a year Seandra showed up with her new man. I was shocked as hell to see my sister standing there holding hands with Maurice. It had only been a month since the last time we’d had sex and they were claiming to have been dating for three months.
I tried to clear my mind as I left the bathroom to make my way back to my seat. The MC’s voice let us know that for once black people were actually starting on time. I was disgusted with my past with Maurice. He’d pretended to have no intentions of hurting me. After the shock of my life he explained that Seandra could never know about us.
“It just happened,” he said. We’d met the next day at a low key location where there would be no paparazzi lurking around.
“How could you do this to me?” I asked in tears. “We grew up in the spotlight. You had to know she was my sister. Even if you’d never seen the two of us together the last name Beauvois is not that damn common.”
“Think about it Nell. You hate the spotlight and you never introduced me to your family. Shit, you never even mentioned your sisters. Remember. You brok
e it off with me.” He said it as if he had no regard for my feelings.
“You sorry asshole! I though you loved me and you’ve been fucking my sister all this time!”
“I didn’t know,” he said sticking to his story.
“You knew the last time you had sex with me.” I felt wounded as I stood there drowning in my tears.
“Nell, I do love you, but Seandra can never know about us.”
“Why not? She is my sister. She needs to know that you’re a cold hearted snake in the grass! We come from a very high profile family. You had to know. How could you?” I walked away from him that night with a heavy heart that was full of pain. Despite the fact that he was openly in a relationship with my sister, I continued to have sex with him. I don’t know how we kept our sneaking around under the radar, but we did. When I realized that the love I felt for Maurice would never be reciprocated I decided to cut him off completely. I couldn’t take all of the lies and empty promises to leave Seandra for me. That was over two years ago. He’d hurt me and I was devastated by the heartbreak. Ricky had come along and healed my wounds. As if on cue, he reached over and held my hand. The MC was telling a joke and everybody was laughing except me as a tear slid down my cheek.
* * *
Seantay
“I had a really good time with Dean last night…but…”
“But what?” Reba asked impatiently. We were chilling at her condo having a little girl talk.
“It’s just not there,” I whined in frustration. I wanted to want Dean way more than I wanted him.
“That’s because you have unfinished business with Raheem. Whether you know it or not, I know you. You really want to be with Raheem. You probably love him, but you will not admit that shit.” She grabbed a handful of microwave popcorn and stuffed it in her mouth.
“If that’s what you think,” I said rolling my eyes as I retrieved a bag of purple haze and a blunt from my Gucci bag. I had joint papers, but I wanted to smoke a blunt. “You know how to roll a blunt?”
Laughing Reba looked at me like I was crazy. “What the fuck? What the hell your Newmexis living ass know about blunts?”
I flipped her the bird. “I may be from Newmexis, but I know what the hell a blunt is.”
“What kind of blunt did you get?” She asked taking it from me. “A white owl?”
“I just asked for a blunt.”
“I can roll it, but next time ask for a Swisher. Who put you on to smoking blunts anyway?” She asked. “Does Dean smoke weed?”
“No, he doesn’t smoke and Reco was the first one to turn me on to smoking blunts. I smoke joints at home because blunts are too strong. You already know I be on that loud. I don’t have time for that dirty midget,” I said sounding like Raheem. Damn, I missed him.
“You are too hood to be worth half a billion dollars chica.” Reba laughed at my street lingo as she broke the weed up. I watched her roll the blunt like a pro. “I never thought you’d smoke a blunt. That’s why I never tried to smoke one with you.”
Frowning up my face at my best friend I said, “I don’t see why you think I’m some uptight rich girl. My own best friend should know better.”
“C’mon Tay. You know I don’t feel that way about you.” She lit the blunt. “Mmm, this shit tastes good.”
“I got it from Matthew. He doesn’t live too far from me. You would not believe how many rich motherfuckers sell drugs. You can get whatever you want right there in Newmexis. Who says you have to go to the hood to get high?”
Reba passed me the blunt. “What time is it?” She asked.
“A little after nine. Why? You have a hot date tonight?”
“Nosey heifer. I just asked. I don’t have a date. Well, no one has called to ask me out, unfortunately.”
“Why don’t you call one of your friends and tell him to bring a friend over,” I suggested. I was determined to get Raheem out of my system somehow.
“I never thought I’d say this to you, but you need to slow your roll. You already have enough stallions in the stable. Reco, Raheem, Dean, Zeek, Nafis…”
“Stop right there. Excuse me, but scratch Zeek, Reco and Nafis from the list. Oh, and I know you are not talking.”
“I’m just saying though Tay. Fucking somebody else is not going to erase how you feel about Raheem. Been there done that and it does not work. We both know that.”
She was right. “You make me sick Reba. You don’t even practice what you preach.”
Reba just shook her head at me. “You need a drink. You’re way too sensitive right now.” She got up and went into the kitchen. About ten minutes later she returned with two glasses full of Grey Goose and cranberry juice. She gave me one of the glasses and I took it graciously.
“Raheem is kind of getting to me Reb. I never thought I’d ever feel this way.”
“Call him,” she said like it was so simple.
“No,” I said taking a gulp of my drink. It was cold and felt good going down my throat. The blunt was kind of strong and made my throat feel scratchy. I also had a bad case of cotton mouth.
“You’re so selfish. I wasn’t going to say anything at first. I wanted to just stay out of your mess with Raheem.”
I sat up anxious to hear what she was going to say. I could tell by the look in her eyes that it was major. “What girl?” I asked sucking on a piece of ice.
“Raheem called me last night. Don’t you dare say a word until I am finished.”
I closed my mouth and nodded for her to continue.
“He told me that he wants to see you so that he can explain everything to you. Seantay the man is lost without you. He said that he loves you. No, he’s in love with you. You need to hear him out Tay. I told him that I didn’t want to be caught in the middle and that he had to talk to you himself. Now I see that you’re a mess just like him. You need to just go ahead and talk to the man.”
Rolling my eyes defiantly I said, “I don’t need to do anything.”
“Get over yourself Seantay Beauvois. All of the money in your father’s Swiss bank account can’t change the fact that you’ve fallen in love. You can hide behind the designer clothes and expensive shoes for everyone else, but not for me. You try so hard to not fall in love and now you’re knee deep in that shit. You can’t control it. You love Raheem and you always have. Just admit it.”
“I can’t tell him that,” I said forgetting all about the blunt that had gone out in the ashtray.
“You two are tripping. If you don’t tell him how you feel I will. Raheem’s crazy about you Tay. He couldn’t fake that shit if he wanted to.”
“Did you forget about his drama Reb, because I haven’t. I don’t have time for that shit.”
“Forget her girl. She’s just after… I’ll just let Raheem tell you. It’s not my place. Just give him a call, please.”
“Why the fuck is this so important to you?” I asked.
“Because I have never seen you like this over anybody,” she laughed. “I don’t need the grief from you letting your soul mate slip away.”
I smiled. “The grief? How many times have I nursed your broken hearts?”
Reba agreed. “True.”
My smile faded. “If only it was so easy. I could never take Raheem home to meet my parents. I could hardly have you as a best friend in peace.”
“Amen to that. Your dad’s cool, but your mom’s a real bitch.” We shared a laugh.
“At least give him a chance to talk Tay.”
She sounded sincere in her concern. I trusted my best friend. “Okay. I will call him.”
Chapter 13
Seantay
Against my will I called Raheem and told him to meet me at the Front Page Café. As I sipped on an iced mocha I saw him. Part of me was anxious to hear what he had to say. I placed my drink on the table and looked up as he approached the table. He looked like he was tired, but he was still sexy in a pair of dark blue jeans, and a gray and navy blue tee.
“How are you baby?”He asked and
sat down.
“I’m good and you?” I asked like I could care less. The truth was my heart was about to explode out of my chest.
Making eye contact with me was easy for him at the moment, but not for me. He held my gaze. “I’ve been missing you.” He licked his lips and I had to look away.
“I’m not hungry, so I just ordered something to drink. Do you want me to call the waitress over?” I asked.
“No. I just want to talk to you. That’s all. I’m just glad you agreed to meet me.”
“Thanks to Reba,” I reminded him.
He looked hurt, but quickly recovered. “I know that you don’t want to deal with my shit Seantay, but you could at least hear me out. If I had known shawty was pregnant I would’ve told you from the jump. It wouldn’t have been a surprise. I really don’t think the baby is mine to be honest. Like I said before the broad fucked my boy. I didn’t fuck with her without a condom, and that’s my good word. She’s after my inheritance. That’s what I need to talk to you about,” he explained in a whisper.
I was confused. I’d always known for Raheem to be a hustler. He didn’t flaunt it in my face, but I knew it. “Your inheritance? What are you talking about Rah?”
The waitress walked over. “Would you like to order sir?”
“Just bring me a glass of water.”
“Will that be all?” She asked.
“Yes, thanks,” he dismissed her impatiently. “Have you ever heard of Brandon Maddock Jr.?”
“Yeah, he was a Chemistry Professor at the University of Miami. Didn’t he pass away about a year ago?”
“Yeah, he did a lot of work on developing new treatments for sickle cell anemia. He was very brilliant,” Raheem said with an intense interest.
I wasn’t following him, so I asked, “What does he have to do with anything?
“My mother worked in his office. She was his mistress. I’m his only son. He has a younger daughter named Kimberly. I could never tell anyone about my dad, until now. He wrote me into his will a few years before he died. I believe Darrick told Jamia this information. She wants money. I know it.” He balled up his fists and his jaw twitched with anger.
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