‘You mean where we would hardly have been able to hear one another?’
‘What I have to say … people around would have made it easier.’
Luiz was getting a nasty, unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach. She had turned him down once. It was something he hadn’t forgotten. This sounded very much like a second let-down and he wasn’t about to let that happen. Pride slammed into him with the force of a sledgehammer.
‘I’m getting the message that this talk of yours has to do with us?’
Aggie nodded miserably. This talk was something she had rehearsed in her head for the past four hours and yet she was no closer to knowing where she would begin.
‘What’s there to talk about?’ Luiz drawled grimly. ‘We’ve already covered this subject. I’m not looking for commitment. Nor, you told me, were you. We understand one another. We’re on the same page.’
‘Sometimes things change.’
‘Are you telling me that you’re no longer satisfied with what we’ve got? That after a handful of weeks you’re looking for something more?’ Luiz refused to contemplate having his wings clipped. He especially didn’t care for the thought of having anyone try to clip them on his behalf. Was she about to issue him with some kind of ultimatum? Promise more if he wanted to carry on seeing her, sleeping with her? Just thinking about it outraged him. Other women might have dropped hints—grown misty-eyed in front of jewellers, introduced him to friends with babies—but none of them had ever actually given him a stark choice and he was getting the feeling that that was precisely what Aggie was thinking of doing.
Aggie clenched her fists on her lap. The tone of his voice was like a slap in the face. Did he really think that she had been stupid enough to misunderstand his very clear ground rules?
‘What if I were?’ she asked, curious to see where this conversation would take them, already predicting its final, painful destination and willing it masochistically on herself.
‘Then I’d question whether you weren’t wondering if being married to a rich man might be more financially lucrative than dating him!’
Every muscle in Aggie’s body tensed and she looked at him astounded, hurt and horrified.
‘How could you say that?’
Luiz scowled and looked away. He fully deserved that reprimand. He could scarcely credit that he had actually accused her of having a financial agenda. She had proved to be one of the least materialistic women he had ever met. But, hell, the thought of her walking out on him had sparked something in him he could barely understand.
‘I apologise,’ he said roughly. ‘That was below the belt.’
‘But do you honestly believe it?’ Aggie was driven to know whether this man she loved so much could think so little of her that he actually thought she might try and con him into commitment.
‘No. I don’t.’
She breathed a sigh of relief because she would never have been able to live with that.
‘Then why did you say it?’
‘Look, I don’t know what this is about, but I’m not interested in playing games. And I won’t have my hand forced. Not by you. Not by anybody.’
‘Because you don’t need anyone? The great Luiz Montes doesn’t need anything or anyone!’
‘And tell me, what’s wrong with that?’ He was baffled by her. Why the hell was she spoiling for a fight? And why had she suddenly decided that she wanted more than what they had? Things had been pretty damn good between them. Better than good. He fought down the temptation to explode.
‘I don’t want to have this argument with you,’ Aggie said, glancing towards the taxi driver who was maintaining a discreet disinterest. He probably heard this kind of thing all the time.
‘And I don’t want to argue with you,’ Luiz confirmed smoothly. ‘So why don’t we pretend none of it happened?’ There was one way of stalling any further confrontation. He pulled her towards him and curled his hands into her soft hair.
Aggie’s protesting hands against his chest curved into an aching caress. As his tongue delved to explore her mouth, she felt her body come alive. Her nipples tightened in the lace bra, pushing forward in a painful need to be suckled and touched. Her skin burned and the wetness between her legs was an agonising reminder of how this man could get to her. No matter that there was talking to be done. No matter that making love was not what she wanted to do.
‘Now, isn’t that better?’ he murmured with satisfaction. ‘I’d carry on, my darling, but I wouldn’t want to shock our cab driver.’
As if to undermine that statement, he curved his hand over one full breast and slowly massaged it until she had to stop herself from crying out.
Ever since they had begun seeing one another, her wardrobe had undergone a subtle transformation. The uninspiring clothes she had worn had been replaced by a selection of brighter, more figure-hugging outfits.
‘You’re wearing a bra,’ he chided softly into her ear. ‘You know I hate that.’
‘You can’t always get what you want, Luiz.’
‘But it’s what we both want, isn’t it? I get to touch you without the boring business of having to get rid of a bra and you get to be touched without the boring business of having to get rid of a bra. It’s a win-win situation. Still, I guess sometimes it adds a little spice to the mix if I have to work my way through layers of clothes …’
‘Stop it, Luiz!’
‘Tell me you don’t like what I’m doing.’ He had shimmied his hand underneath the tight, striped jumper and had pulled down her bra to free one plump mound.
This was the way to stifle an argument, he thought. Maybe he had misread the whole thing. Maybe she hadn’t been upping the ante. Maybe what she wanted to talk about had been altogether more prosaic. Luiz didn’t know and he had no intention of revisiting the topic.
With a rueful sigh, he released her as the taxi slowed, moving into the crescent. He neatly pulled down the jumper, straightening it. ‘Perhaps just as well that we’re here,’ he confessed with a wicked glint in his dark eyes. ‘Going all the way in the back seat of a black cab would really be taking things a step too far. I think when we get round to public performing we’ll have to think carefully where to begin …’
Aggie had had no intention of performing with him on any level, never mind in public. She shifted in the seat. When she should have been as cool as she could, she was hot and flustered and having to push thoughts of him taking her in his hallway out of her head.
The house which had once filled her with awe she now appreciated in a distinctly less gob-smacked way. She still loved the beautiful objets d’art, but there were few personal touches which made her think that money could buy some things, but not others. It could buy beauty but not necessarily atmosphere. In fact, going out with Luiz had made her distinctly less cowed at the impressive things money could buy and a lot less daunted by the people who possessed it.
‘So.’ Luiz discarded his coat and jacket as soon as they were through the door. ‘Shall we finish what we started? No need to go upstairs. If you go right into the kitchen and sit on one of the stools, I’ll demonstrate how handy I can be with food. I guarantee I’ll be a damn sight more imaginative with ingredients than that restaurant tonight was.’
‘Luiz.’ She was shaking as she placed her hand firmly on his chest. No giving in this time.
‘Good God, woman! Tell me you don’t want to start talking again.’ He pushed his hands under her coat to cup her rounded buttocks, pulling her against him so that she could feel his arousal pushing through his trousers, as hard as a rod of iron. ‘And, if you want to talk, then let’s talk in bed.’
‘Bed’s not a good idea,’ Aggie said shakily.
‘Who says I want good ideas?’
‘I’d like a cup of coffee.’
Luiz gave in with a groan of pure frustration. He banged his fist on the wall, shielded his head in the crook of his arm and then glanced at her with rueful resignation.
‘Okay. You win. But take it from me
, talking is never a very good idea.’
How true, Aggie thought. From his point of view, it would certainly not herald anything he wanted to hear.
She marvelled that in a few hours life could change so dramatically.
She had been poring over the school calendar and working out what lessons she should think about setting when something in her head had suddenly clicked.
She had seen the calendar and the concept of dates had begun to flicker. Dates of when she had last seen her period. She had never paid a great deal of attention to her menstrual cycle. It happened roughly on time. What more was there to say about it?
Her hands had been shaking when, a little over an hour later, she had taken that home-pregnancy test. She had already thought of a thousand reasons why she was silly to be concerned. For a start, Luiz was obsessive about contraception. Aside from that one little slip-up, he had been scrupulous.
Within minutes she had discovered how one little slip-up could change the course of someone’s life.
She was pregnant by a man who didn’t love her, had warned her off involvement and had certainly never expressed any desire to have children. In the face of all those stark realities, she had briefly contemplated not telling him. Just breaking off the relationship; disappearing. Disappearing, she had reasoned for a few wild, disoriented moments, would not be difficult to do. She hated the house and her brother was soon to leave London to embark upon the next exciting phase of his life. She could ditch everything and return up north, find something there. Luiz would not pursue her and he would never know that he had fathered a child.
The thought didn’t last long. He would find out; of course he would. Maria would tell him. And, aside from that, how could she deprive a man of his own child? Even a child he hadn’t wanted?
‘What I’m going to say will shock you,’ Aggie told him as soon as they were sitting down in his living room, with a respectable distance between them.
Luiz, for the first time in his life, was prey to fear. It ripped through him, strangling his vocal chords, making him break out in a fine film of perspiration.
‘You’re not … ill, are you?’
Aggie looked at him with surprise. ‘No. I’m not,’ she asserted firmly. He had visibly blanched and she knew why. Of course, he would be remembering his own father’s illness, which he had spoken to her about in more depth over the time they had been together.
‘Then what is it?’
‘There’s no easy way to tell you so I’m going to come right out and say it. I’m pregnant.’
Luiz froze. For a few seconds, he wondered whether he had heard correctly but he was not a man given to flights of imagination and the expression on her face was sufficient to tell him that she wasn’t joking.
‘You can’t be,’ he said eventually.
Aggie’s eyes slid away from his. Whenever she had thought of being pregnant, it had been within a rosy scenario involving a man she loved who loved her back. Never had she envisaged breaking the news to a man who looked as though she had detonated a bomb in his front room.
‘I’m afraid I can be, and I am.’
‘I was careful!’
‘There was that one time.’ Against her better judgement—for she had hardly expected her news to be met with whoops of joy—she could feel a slow anger begin to burn inside her.
‘You told me that there was no risk.’
‘I’m sorry. I made a mistake.’
Luiz didn’t say anything. He stood up and walked restively towards the floor-to-ceiling window to stare outside. The possibility of fatherhood was not one that had ever occurred to him. It was something that lay in the future. Way down the line. Possibly never. But she was carrying his baby inside her.
Aggie miserably looked at him, turned away from her and staring out of the window. Doubtless he was thinking about his life which now lay in ruins. If ever there was a man who was crushed under the weight of bad news, then he was that man.
‘You decided to tell me this in a pizzeria?’ Luiz spun round and walked towards her. He leaned over, bracing himself on either side of her, and Aggie shrank back into the chair.
‘I didn’t want … this!’ she cried.
‘This what?’
‘I knew how you’d react and I thought it would be more … more … civilised if I told you somewhere out in the open!’
‘What did you think I would do?’
‘We need to discuss this like adults and we’re not going to get anywhere when you’re standing over me like this, threatening me!’
‘God, how the hell did this happen?’ Luiz returned to the sofa and collapsed onto it.
It felt to Aggie as though everything they had shared had shattered under the blow of this pregnancy. Which just went to show how fragile it had all been from the very start. Not made to last and not fashioned to withstand any knocks—although, in fairness, a pregnancy couldn’t really be called a knock. More like an earthquake, shaking everything from the foundations up.
‘Stupid question.’ He pressed his thumbs to his eyes and then leaned forward to look at her, his hands resting loosely on his thighs. ‘Of course I know how it happened, and you’re right. We have to talk about it. Hell, what’s there to talk about? We’ll have to get married. What choice do we have?’
‘Get married? That’s not what I want!’ she threw at him, fighting to contain her anger because he was just doing what, in his misguided way, he construed as the decent thing. ‘Do you really think I told you about this because I wanted you to marry me?’
‘What does it matter? My family would be bitterly disappointed to think I had fathered a child and allowed it to be born out of wedlock.’
What a wonderful marriage proposal, Aggie thought with a touch of hysteria: you’re pregnant; we’d better get married or risk the wrath of my traditional family.
‘I don’t think so,’ Aggie said gently.
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means that I can’t accept your generous marriage proposal.’
‘Don’t be crazy. Of course you can!’
‘I have no intention of marrying someone just because I happen to be having his baby. Luiz, a pregnancy is not the right reason to be married to someone.’ She could tell from the expression on his face that he was utterly taken aback that his offer had been rejected. ‘I’m sorry if your parents would find it unacceptable for you to have a child out of wedlock, but I’m not going to marry you so that your parents can avoid disappointment.’
‘That’s not the only reason!’
‘Well, what are the others?’ She could quell the faint hope that he would say those three words she wanted to hear. That he loved her. He could expand on that. She wouldn’t stop him. He could tell her that he couldn’t live without her.
‘It’s better for a child to have both parents on hand. I am a rich man. I don’t intend that any child of mine will go wanting. Two reasons and there’s more!’ Why, Luiz thought, was she being difficult? She had just brought his entire world crashing down around him and he had risen admirably to the occasion! Couldn’t she see that?
‘A child can have both parents on hand without them being married,’ Aggie pointed out. ‘I’m not going to deprive you of the opportunity to see him or her whenever you want, and of course I understand that you will want to assist financially. I would never dream of stopping you from doing that.’ She lowered her eyes and nervously fiddled with her fingers.
There was something else that would have to be discussed. Would they continue to see one another? Part of her craved their ongoing relationship and the strength and support she would get from it. Another part realised that it would be foolhardy to carry on as though nothing had happened, as though a rapidly expanding stomach wasn’t proof that their lives had changed for ever. She wouldn’t marry him. She couldn’t allow him to ruin his life for the sake of a gesture born from obligation. She hated the thought of what would happen as cold reality set in and he realised that he was stuck with he
r for good. He would end up hating and resenting her. He would seek solace in the arms of other women. He might even, one day, find a woman to truly love.
‘And there’s something else,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t think it’s appropriate that we continue … seeing one another.’
‘What?’ Luiz exploded, his body alive with anger and bewilderment.
‘Stop shouting!’
‘Then don’t give me a reason to shout!’
They stared at each other in silence. Aggie’s heart was pounding inside her. ‘What we have was never going to go the full distance. We both knew that. You were very clear on that.’
‘Whoa! Before you get carried away with the preaching, answer me this one thing. Do we or do we not have fun when we’re together?’ Luiz felt as though he had started the evening with clear skies and calm seas, only to discover that a force-ten hurricane had been waiting just over the horizon. Not only had he found himself with a baby on the way, but on top of that here she was, informing him that she no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. A growing sense of panicked desperation made him feel slightly ill.
‘That’s not the point!’
‘Then what the hell is? You’re not making any sense, Aggie! I’ve offered to do the right thing by you and you act as though I’ve insulted you. You rumble on about a child not being a good enough reason for us to be married. I don’t get it! Not only is a child a bloody good reason to get married, but here’s the added bonus—we’re good together! But that’s not enough for you! Now, you’re talking about walking away from this relationship!’
‘We’re friends at the moment and that’s how I’d like our relationship to stay for the sake of our child, Luiz.’
‘We’re more than just friends, damn it!’
‘We’re friends with benefits.’
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this!’ He slashed the air with his hand in a gesture of frustration, incredulity and impatience. His face was dark with anger and those beautiful eyes that could turn her hot and cold were flat with accusation.
In this sort of mood, withstanding him was like trying to swim up a waterfall. Aggie wanted to fly to him and just let him decide what happened next. She knew it would be a mistake. If they carried on seeing one another and reached the point where, inevitably, he became fed up and bored, their relationship thereafter would be one of bitterness and discomfort. Couldn’t he see long-term? For a man who could predict trends and work out the bigger picture when it came to business, he was hopelessly inadequate in doing the same when it came to his private life. He lived purely for the moment. Right now he was living purely for the moment with her and he wasn’t quite ready for it to end. Right now, his solution to their situation was to put a ring on her finger, thereby appeasing family and promoting his sense of responsibility. He just didn’t think ahead.
A Tempestuous Temptation Page 15