by Riley Jean
“I thought you didn’t believe in love,” Kiki jeered, a smile on her lips.
I grimaced at the crumpled napkin in my hands. She was right, I had said that. So why did I feel so disappointed, just because another relationship was less than perfect?
“Maybe I just wanted someone to prove me wrong,” I said faintly.
The others droned on as I got lost in my own thoughts. Vance had become a good friend to me. He seemed happy in his relationship, and despite everything, it had given me hope. But this knowledge had blindsided me. All of a sudden, it felt like I didn’t know him as well as I thought.
Just then, our regular hostess walked in, tying her apron behind her. When she saw me, she looked up and smiled. “Hey, Rosie! Where’s your boyfriend tonight?”
My face burned ten shades of red as all eyes focused on me at once. There was only one person who called me Rosie. And immediately everyone took her misunderstanding as truth.
“Boyfriend?” Kiki shrieked.
“Rosie?!” Summer yelled.
Cole was trying to wave them off between laughs. “Calm down you two! This is Vance we’re talking about. It can’t be what you’re thinking.” But the grin he shot me then told me he was hoping so.
The hostess smiled hesitantly. “Did I say something wrong? You guys come in here together all the time, I thought—”
“We just work together,” I stressed, mortified. They were all so eager to jump to conclusions. “Sometimes we come here for pancakes after a late shift. That’s all.”
“He’s really not your boyfriend?” the hostess asked, displaying a bit too enthusiasm.
I shook my head.
“That doesn’t mean he’s available,” Summer added for the hostess’ benefit.
“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “Oh well. See ya later.”
“And my name isn’t Rosie,” I called after her. “It’s Scar.”
After that, Summer and Kiki got lost in their own conversation. Their jabbering turned into secret whispers, casting furtive glances that I pretended not to notice. Rude. Considering the way they spoke of Evelyn, I could only imagine what was said in my absence. Especially if it had to do with the me and Vance and one misunderstanding, which was based on a complete and utter fallacy.
I had no idea our nights at Honey’s were secret or scandalous. Just the same, the awkwardness mounted. For the first time I got the distinct impression we had done something wrong.
Speaking of Vance, where was he? Still on the phone? I wanted him to join us, so at least I’d have someone here who wouldn’t make me feel like a total outsider.
Cole nudged my shoulder. I looked over at him questioningly. He leaned in close and spoke low in my ear.
“Might want to make sure Evelyn doesn’t find out about the pancakes.”
I blinked at him. “I’m sure she knows.”
“I guarantee she doesn’t know. Kiki and Summer can be all shits and giggles, but they aren’t far off about this. Evelyn never would’ve allowed Vance to hang out with another girl. Even a coworker. No way she’d let him come here regularly with you.”
My bottom lip caught between my teeth. “We didn’t mean anything by it.”
He smiled kindly. “I know you didn’t.”
“Then why would Vance lie to her?”
He didn’t have an answer to that. In fact he looked as conflicted as I felt on the issue. But he was right about one thing—if Evelyn was indeed as possessive as they described, she would not be okay this.
Until tonight, their relationship had always seemed infallible. I never even considered the possibility that our friendship could cause problems between them. Thank goodness Evelyn hadn’t been with us tonight to hear the hostess’ mistake firsthand.
“So… we’ll just stop,” I decided. I enjoyed the conversations and meals we shared, and I’d miss them, but it was the obvious solution. “I have my own car now, so I won’t even have to ask him for rides.”
He shrugged and picked up another onion ring. “Up to you.”
My mind was still spinning as I waited for Vance to join us. All his best friends seemed so sure that his relationship with the love of his life was on the rocks. I tended to be kind of aloof and not so great at reading people. But by now I knew Vance well enough; I shouldn’t have missed something this big.
From the moment he walked into the diner, I took extra care to watch his expression and body language for something I may have missed: troubles, worries, even a shred of doubt. If he had just been arguing on the phone, he wouldn’t be able to hide it that well, would he?
But from where I was sitting, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He looked perfectly normal as he approached the counter. Once his eyes found mine, he greeted me with his usual, bright smile. And all was right again.
See? I knew they had to be wrong.
* * *
[Past]
Unlike the first seven days after we met, Gabriel kept in close contact with me since the incident in the field. Each night ended with an exchange of texts. A few times we snuck off to get lattes together. He was always his sweet but protective self, taking his promise seriously to make me feel safe. Yet he never gave a clear sign that he wanted to take things beyond friendship.
Secretly, my feelings for him were deepening. The young romantic inside me responded to the heroic side of him. But if he was determined to keep it platonic, I would only follow his lead. Better that than lose him altogether.
Lexi and I were about to walk out of Professor Queen’s class when I spotted Gabriel in the distance.
I stopped. Lexi still didn’t know anything about Gabriel. Our relationship was still too tenuous and new, and I didn’t trust it to hold against the forces of Lexi Monroe.
“I forgot my pen,” I lied, walking backwards further into the room. “Go on. I’ll catch up.”
“Whatever,” she continued without looking up from her cell.
Gabriel hadn’t spotted me yet. I peeked from behind the door and waited for her to leave.
To my dismay, I watched as Gabriel noticed Lexi walking by. His head popped up and turned to follow her gait. I was too far away to see his expression, but he seemed to keep his eyes on her until she was all the way out of sight.
Something inside me clenched. Of course he noticed her. She was beautiful. And it wasn’t like he was my boyfriend or anything. He was free to look at whoever he wanted. Still, I couldn’t help but hear that little voice in my ear, saying I would never measure up next to girls like Lexi… next to someone like him.
He glanced around searching the faces, and I knew he was looking for me. After a few deep breaths, I walked towards him, resigned. I tried to smile without showing him how much it hurt watching him check out another girl. A girl who just so happened to be my best friend of twelve years. A girl who would always be superior.
When he saw me, he smiled brightly for a moment, then it dimmed and he made his way towards me.
“Scarlett,” he said gently when we reached each other. “Alright, love?”
I really needed to work on my poker face.
Just then, another student hurried past us to exit the classroom, shoving me straight into Gabriel. He caught me with ease, much like he had the very first night we met. And for a moment I was suspended in the absolute bliss of being held in his arms again. His body was just as solid and strong. His scent just as intoxicating…
But while our contact had my brain swimming with want, his blue eyes were locked right beyond me, narrow and hard.
“I’ve seen better manners on sewer rats,” Gabriel stated.
“Then watch where I’m going,” the other boy grunted in haste.
I could feel a wave of tension roll through Gabriel in response. His eyes didn’t waver.
“It’s okay,” I said, reluctantly straightening. “It was an accident.”
“I believe the lad still owes you an apology.”
Since that day in the field, the frat boys had all been cold a
nd distant towards me in class, for which I was grateful. But by the irreverent tone of his voice and the predatory look in his eyes, apparently this one hadn’t quite learned his lesson.
Noticing my proximity to Gabriel, he grew a bit of foolish courage. “Nice try bro, but you’re not gonna get very far with that one,” he said with a derisive laugh.
My eyes bulged at his remark. Really? In front of Gabriel?
“Tread carefully, lad.” He didn’t even need to raise his voice for it to sound baleful. “No good ever came from provoking me, I can assure you.”
He turned to face us. “Whoa, bro, so hardcore. What are you gonna do about it?”
The two squared off. “For the lady’s sake I’ve tried to be discreet. Shall I be more direct? Because I excel at direct.” Once again I could see the avenging angel emerge. It wasn’t difficult to see who was superior, but the other boy didn’t seem smart enough to back down this time.
“Please, Gabriel,” I whispered with a light tug on his arm. “Let’s just go.”
He frowned down at me. “I gave you my word.”
“I was just trying to help you out, bro.” The boy shrugged his shoulders, indifferent. “Forget it. By all means, enjoy your celibacy with Curly Q, here.”
My shoulders slumped and my chin dropped to my chest, officially humiliated.
With a mocking laugh, the boy leisurely strolled away. But the damage was done.
Slowly, I let go of Gabriel’s glorious form and stood down. One strong arm reached out to grab the building just behind me, effectively preventing me from going anywhere.
I could sense his gaze on me. “Why did you stop me?” His voice was flat, though I could still detect his animosity.
I shrugged. “No need to spill blood over a little teasing.”
“How very magnanimous of you. Perhaps he should’ve considered that before he shot his gobby little mouth off.”
“Hey. I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me,” I reasoned, trying to calm him. It was easy to smile just by listening to the way he spoke. Coming from his mouth, even insults sounded charming. “See? You’ve scared them all off.”
“As it should be.” He sighed deeply. “Be that as it may, I don’t trust those wankers. Should they continue to hassle you, I aim to make good on my promises.”
“I trust you, Gabriel,” I said gently. “And I appreciate it. But please let this go… So long as they don’t touch me, I don’t care what they say. And everyone deserves forgiveness. Even wankers.”
At my words his intense gaze cut to me. His eyes softened a bit, but only for a second. “How could he have possibly known about that?” he questioned, curious.
Of course he hadn’t missed that part.
It took everything in me to stand in one place. If I hadn’t been put in the friend zone already, I was surely there now. Dating in college as a virgin was hard enough without being thrown under the bus by bullies.
I fiddled with my hands, unable to even look at him. “It’s a Modern Human Sexuality class. We have to talk about our personal experiences.”
“Ah-ha. Professor Queen.”
I peeked up to find him with an amused smile. “You’ve had her?”
He nodded. “Last semester, when I transferred to this uni. I’m a psychology major here. I haven’t had the privilege of taking this course as of yet but it sounds fascinating.”
At least his sense of humor was still intact. Just the sound of his gentle laugh got my blood pumping. Dark hair showcased his sparking blue eyes and perfect teeth… How could I be anything but jubilant when looking upon his face? And he was still here, so apparently the mention of my innocence hadn’t freaked him out like I feared.
At last a smile pushed its way through my rosy cheeks. “Psychology makes perfect sense for you, I think.” I moved my thoughts away from the other boy and back onto Gabriel. He had come to meet me, after all. “So… you’re here to escort me safely to my next class?”
“I wanted to meet Lexi. Was that her that left straight away?”
“Lexi?” And just like that my face wilted, and my heart deflated like a balloon with a slow leak. Of course Lexi had captured his interest. She was every college guy’s dream come to life.
“Aye,” he confirmed, confused. “Why didn’t she wait for you?”
I bit my lip and looked away from his brilliant blue eyes. If Gabriel was only interested in being my friend, I could deal with that. I could harbor my feelings and just enjoy being around him for as long as it lasted. But I couldn’t handle being his matchmaker. I didn’t want to be the one to introduce them. And I couldn’t tell him why.
“Now what’s that look for?”he said, tucking a blond curl behind my ear.
He touched me so tenderly, my heart melted to a puddle. Did he not realize how much he affected me? This man had done so much for me. He had been kind to me when I was in need. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I would agree to wash his feet if only he gave me these little moments. So how could I refuse him this one request?
I stared into those blue, blue depths, uncontrollably drawn like a moth to a flame. He really wasn’t playing fair, with those persuasive eyes of his. He was pulling me in, pleading with me, and I was merely human.
“Okay,” I tentatively acquiesced. It was clear he wasn’t interested in me beyond our polite encounter, and this time I was determined to remember that. “If that’s what you want… I’ll introduce you to Lexi.”
“Brilliant,” he grinned. “Let’s hope I make a good impression.” The sight of his obvious delight was so beautiful, I would have done anything to keep it on his face… even pierce my own heart.
“She’ll love you,” I assured him. I knew she would. Of course, the only thing she’d notice would be his devastatingly good looks. She wouldn’t care about his gentleness or his intellect or his compassion. She would use him for a week then trade him in. Or worse, she would realize there was no upgrade from Gabriel. And they would stay together, long after a week. I would be destined to watch him kiss her lips, hear him call her love, and feel the bed shake as they laid together on the bottom bunk.
Everything in me wanted to stop him. To tell him he should be with a girl who would love every last piece of his heart. To ask him to choose me.
But if this is what he wanted, who was I to deny him?
* * *
[Present]
A few nights later, my family sat around the formal dining table over a home cooked meal. My mama was an excellent cook, of course. Beef brisket was my father’s favorite. So when I smelled it cooking all day, I sensed a family announcement coming on. It immediately had me on edge.
Good food wasn’t the reason I dreaded family dinners. When the four of us were together, tempers ran high, and silence was the best case scenario.
“How’s your car running, Scarlett?” my father asked me.
“Great, thank you.”
“And the manual shift? You’re getting used to it?”
“Yes. I rarely stall at all anymore.”
“Very good.”
In truth, he did help me learn some of the basics, but it was Vance that helped me perfect the skill. Several nights after work he had taken me out for a spin. We drove around in circles, up and down hills, starting and stopping until I got the hang of it. My father had sighed every time I stalled out, but Vance just laughed and made me try again. He was a very patient teacher, and by the end I felt confident.
I was going to miss nights like that. I was going to miss having a friend and somewhat of a social life. Now I’d just be going to work and coming straight home.
“Scarlett, we have some exciting news to share with you,” mama said as she carefully dabbed her lips with a napkin, bringing me out of my own head. “Your brother will be starting boot camp this month. He has decided to serve our country in the military.”
The military… So that’s what they’d been fighting about most recently.
I had to admit, this news was quite unexpected.
Never thought I’d see the day where James would be following in our father’s footsteps.
I had my doubts with this. James was not exactly built for the military. Physically he was on the thin side. He’d have to remove his facial piercings. But worst of all, he had a bad attitude, a feeble work ethic, and no respect for authority. The military was going to eat him alive.
I kept my face blank as I glanced at my mama, my father, James, then my plate. I didn’t know what else to say except, “That’s nice.”
“Shut up, you little brat.”
My father shouted admonishments and curses. My mama just stared at her lap.
“I don’t give a shit what any of you think. It’s my life and I’ll do what I want. And I want to be a warrior.”
A warrior? I knew it. Clinically batshit crazy. All that internet gaming had gone straight to his head. I couldn’t help the tiny scoff that escaped.
He narrowed his eyes at me with a fiery hate and pushed away from the table violently. “Fuck all of you.”
At his words, my father slammed his fist on the dinner table with such force that every dish and utensil rattled. The sound was so harsh that no noise dared to follow it.
For once in his life, James kept his mouth shut and just up and left, right out the front door, slamming it behind him.
My father shook his head. “Such disrespect.”
The three of us continued eating our meal in awkward silence, like one of us hadn’t just cursed his family and stormed out in the middle of dinner. Sad to say, it was par for the course around here.
I actually felt bad for my mama. Despite her best efforts, even a delicious beef brisket was incapable of fixing our family.
“Really, Scarlett. Is that any way to speak to your brother?”
I laughed to myself at her audacity. She was going to put this on me? What did she honestly expect? “Congratulations”? “I’ll miss you”? Yeah… not gonna happen.
“James has made it pretty clear over the past nineteen years that he doesn’t care what I think.”